My Gun Has Bullets (Charlie Willis Series #1)

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Overview

When Officer Charlie Willis pulls over a speeding Rolls-Royce hell-bent for Neiman Marcus, he's surprised to see TV's kindly Miss Agatha leveling a .45 at his stomach. He's even more surprised when she guns him down and keeps on driving. Charlie wakes up in the hospital to find a William Morris agent and a network executive at his bedside. The next thing Charlie knows, he's the star of the cop show My Gun Has Bullets and embroiled in a mob takeover of network television. And so begins an uproarious but deadly ...
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Overview

When Officer Charlie Willis pulls over a speeding Rolls-Royce hell-bent for Neiman Marcus, he's surprised to see TV's kindly Miss Agatha leveling a .45 at his stomach. He's even more surprised when she guns him down and keeps on driving. Charlie wakes up in the hospital to find a William Morris agent and a network executive at his bedside. The next thing Charlie knows, he's the star of the cop show My Gun Has Bullets and embroiled in a mob takeover of network television. And so begins an uproarious but deadly romp through the wonderful world of TV make-believe...with real bullets. To make it to sweeps week, Charlie will have to survive two homicidal stuntmen, a rabid star-dog, a hit man turned producer, a psychotic old lady, a sex-crazed blackmailer, and vicious ratings...with only a stunning Baywatch beauty to help him. This wickedly funny paean to absurdity lays to rest the scurrilous rumor that people in television know what they are doing.
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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly - Cahners\\Publishers_Weekly
This brash satire of television fare is as empty as the idiocy it aims to prick. TV screenwriter/producer Goldberg floods the pages with dimwitted entertainment idols, sex and special-effects violence. Esther Radcliffe (read Angela L.), best known as Miss Agatha, the cookie-baking lady who solves mysteries and owns Sunday night across America, is actually a sex-driven harpy who shoots LAPD Officer Charlie Willis (read Bruce) in the stomach when he stops her for speeding. To save Sunday nights, her network bribes Charlie with a show of his own, transforming him into steely detective Derek Thorne on My Gun Has Bullets. Then the mob takes over the production company, and the new head of production starts rubbing out the competition to ensure his top billing in the ratings. Esther meanwhile is being both serviced by the equinely endowed Flint Westwood, who secretly films their indiscretions. When someone puts live ammo in Derek Thorne's gun, Charlie kills a fellow player. Did Esther or the mob supply the bullets? Will Esther murder her top-heavy new co-star, Sabrina Bishop (read Pamela A. of Baywatch)? Lots of T&A and no wit.
Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly
This brash satire of television fare is as empty as the idiocy it aims to prick. TV screenwriter/producer Goldberg floods the pages with dimwitted entertainment idols, sex and special-effects violence. Esther Radcliffe (read Angela L.), best known as Miss Agatha, the cookie-baking lady who solves mysteries and owns Sunday night across America, is actually a sex-driven harpy who shoots LAPD Officer Charlie Willis (read Bruce) in the stomach when he stops her for speeding. To save Sunday nights, her network bribes Charlie with a show of his own, transforming him into steely detective Derek Thorne on My Gun Has Bullets. Then the mob takes over the production company, and the new head of production starts rubbing out the competition to ensure his top billing in the ratings. Esther meanwhile is being both serviced by the equinely endowed Flint Westwood, who secretly films their indiscretions. When someone puts live ammo in Derek Thorne's gun, Charlie kills a fellow player. Did Esther or the mob supply the bullets? Will Esther murder her top-heavy new co-star, Sabrina Bishop (read Pamela A. of Baywatch)? Lots of T&A and no wit. (Mar.)
Thomas Gaughan
Beverly Hills cop Charlie Willis wakes up in the hospital after he is gutshot by the maniac driver of a Rolls Royce he stopped for speeding. The two men in Armani suits awaiting his return to consciousness offer Charlie his own TV series if he fails to identify his assailant, the network's ratings queen, Aunt Agatha. Eight months later he's the star of "My Gun Has Bullets". But Charlie soon learns that ratings wars are far more lethal than police work. Charlie and his newfound love, starlet Sabrina Bishop, are menaced by a man-eating canine star, two homicidal but profoundly dumb stuntmen, the psychotic Aunt Agatha, a blackmailing, sex-obsessed series star, a Mob hit man-cum-producer, and a wonderfully ludicrous assortment of TV executives. Writer-producer Goldberg's very funny novel is a pinch of Carl Hiaasen, a dash of Donald Westlake, and a heaping portion of avarice and inanity Hollywood style. It's boffo!
Warren Murphy
"Hilarious, suspenseful, action-packed...its band of merry, and not so merry, homicidal maniacs may be the greatest cast ever assembled," Warren Murphy, Edgar Award winning author/creator of the Remo Williams: Destroyer series
Gene Lyons
B+ It will make you cackle like a sitcom laugh track. Goldberg keeps the gags coming right up to the end - Entertainment Weekly
Stephen J. Cannell
Lee Goldberg has written a winner!
Thomas Gaughan
Writer-producer Goldberg's very funny novel is a pinch of Carl Hiaasen, a dash of Donald Westlake, and a heaping portion of avarice and inanity Hollywood style. It's boffo! -- Booklist
Judith Kreiner
A rousing send-up of everything and everyone in the world of show-biz.-- Washington Times
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780312118624
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Press
  • Publication date: 2/1/1995
  • Series: Charlie Willis Series , #1
  • Edition description: 1st ed
  • Edition number: 1
  • Pages: 262

Meet the Author

Lee Goldberg
Lee Goldberg is an acclaimed TV writer/producer and a New York Times bestselling author. His many books include KING CITY, WATCH ME DIE, the 15 novels in the MONK series of mysteries, and the international #1 bestseller THE HEIST, which he wrote with Janet Evanovich.
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Table of Contents

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 5
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