My Suicide

My Suicide

4.8 4
by Ulf Wolf
     
 

I tried to kill myself in 1965. I wasn’t very good at it.

For one, while I have since learned that the lethal dose of regular 75 mg aspirins lies on the far side of 500 tablets, I attempted my lethal feat with 121 of the little darlings (yes, I kept a tally).

For two, I did lose my nerve late that fatal afternoon, and alerted my dad to my

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Overview

I tried to kill myself in 1965. I wasn’t very good at it.

For one, while I have since learned that the lethal dose of regular 75 mg aspirins lies on the far side of 500 tablets, I attempted my lethal feat with 121 of the little darlings (yes, I kept a tally).

For two, I did lose my nerve late that fatal afternoon, and alerted my dad to my Bayeresque overindulgence.

This is not to say that this was not an interesting exercise, it was. I was quite sincerely banging on that dark and final door—truly expecting it to open—not suspecting that it would take at least four times as many of these little white, bitter tablets to even begin to pry it open. I’ve since learned that people have even survived a thousand or two of them, when treated swiftly and correctly—but who on earth would have the time, or patience, to pop two thousand aspirin? By the time you’re done with the second thousand the first will have worn off: you see my problem? Definitely the wrong suicide medium.

Be that, however, as it may: blissfully ignorant that my undertaking (yes, pun intended) would only lead to a few months of ringing ears, as I rounded the even century of these bitter pills, I was certain I’d face Mr. Reaper in short, and relatively painless, order.

Why did I do it?
Why, to get even, of course. And to place the blame for his son’s premature demise squarely on my dad’s shoulders.

Were there any other reasons?

Well, if truth be told, I was also a little curious.

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Product Details

ISBN-13:
2940045105149
Publisher:
Ulf Wolf
Publication date:
11/22/2012
Sold by:
Smashwords
Format:
NOOK Book
Sales rank:
274,330
File size:
180 KB

Meet the Author

Ulf is a Swedish name that once meant Wolf. So, yes, Wolf Wolf, that’s me. I was born Ulf Ronnquist one snowy night in late October, in one of those northern Swedish towns that are little more than a clearing in the forest. Fast forward through twenty Swedish years, ten or so English ones, and another twenty-four in the US and you’ll find me in front of an immigrations officer conducting the final citizenship interview, at the end of which he asks me, “What name would you like on your passport?” And here I recall what a friend had told me, that you can pick just about any name you want at this point, and I heard me say “Ulf Wolf.” That’s how it happened. Scout’s honor. Of course, I had been using Ulf Wolf as a pen name for some time before this interview, but I hadn’t really planned to adopt that as my official U.S. name. But I did. I have written stories all my life. Initially in Swedish, but for the last twenty or so years in English. To date I have written six novels, four novellas and two scores of stories; along with many songs and poems. My writing focus these days is on life’s important questions (in my view): Who are we? What are we doing here? And how do we break out of this prison?

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