My Uncle Oswald [NOOK Book]

Overview




Now back in print along with Roald Dahl’s Switch Bitch, a surprisingly naughty and hilarious adult book by the beloved children’s author



Children and adults alike adore the dark humor that pervades such Roald Dahl classics as Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Fantastic Mr. Fox. Yet the celebrated ...
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My Uncle Oswald

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Overview




Now back in print along with Roald Dahl’s Switch Bitch, a surprisingly naughty and hilarious adult book by the beloved children’s author



Children and adults alike adore the dark humor that pervades such Roald Dahl classics as Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Fantastic Mr. Fox. Yet the celebrated author sometimes followed his imagination down a much more risqué path.

Showcasing this lesser-known erotic side of Dahl's celebrated genius that would make even a fan of Fifty Shades of Grey blush, My Uncle Oswald is the unapologetically racy memoir of Oswald Hendryks Cornelius—bon vivant, collector of spiders, and undoubtedly the greatest fornicator of all time.





Uncle Oswald, the great rogue and fornicator, has discovered the world's most powerful aphrodisiac and a method of quick-freezing sperm. So with the help of the gorgeous Yasmin Howcomely, he sets out to preserve 51 living geniuses and crowned heads, from James Joyce to King Albert and Henry Ford.

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Editorial Reviews

Christopher Lehman-Haupt
"A festival of bad taste that is at heart so innocent that we soon forgive it and enjoy ourselves . . . thoroughly juvenile fun . . . I haven't had so much fun of this sort since my last all-night joke-telling session at summer camp."
Observer
"Deliciously silly."
Daily Telegraph
"Immense fun."
The Times
"One of the most widely read and influential writers of our generation."
Sunday Express
"Raunchy exuberance and cheeky entertainment."
Vance Bourjaily
"What can be said is that My Uncle Oswald provides four or five hours of effortless reading and some amusing scenes, mostly of the kind film makers have taught us to call soft porn—so soft, indeed, that at times they turn out almost fluffy.

The tone is that of a gentleman telling ribald anecdotes to his male guests after dinner. The leer is civilized . . . the dialog gets mean and raunchy, but the physical detail is kept decorous. . . . Mr. Dahl's guests are not invited to vicarious orgy, then, nor will they hear a disguised lecture by a wicked satirist of morals and manners."

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781101605424
  • Publisher: Penguin Group (USA)
  • Publication date: 8/28/2012
  • Sold by: Penguin Group
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 288
  • Sales rank: 157,171
  • File size: 872 KB

Meet the Author

CHILDHOOD



Roald Dahl was born in Llandaff, Wales on September 13th 1916. His parents were Norwegian and he was the only son of a second marriage. His father, Harald, and elder sister Astri died when Roald was just three. His mother, Sofie, was left to raise two stepchildren and her own four children (Alfhild, Roald, Else and Asta). Roald was her only son. He remembered his mother as “a rock, a real rock, always on your side whatever you’d done. It gave me the most tremendous feeling of security”. Roald based the character of the grandmother in The Witches on his mother - it was his tribute to her.



The young Roald loved stories and books. His mother told Roald and his sisters tales about trolls and other mythical Norwegian creatures. “She was a great teller of tales,” Roald said, “Her memory was prodigious and nothing that ever happened to her in her life was forgotten.” As an older child, Roald enjoyed adventure stories - “Captain Marryat was one of my favourites” – before going on to read Dickens and Thackeray as well as short-story writer Ambrose Bierce.



His father Harald was, as Roald recalled in Boy, a tremendous diary-writer. “I still have one of his many notebooks from the Great War of 1914-18. Every single day during those five war years he would write several pages of comment and observation about the events of the time.”



Roald himself kept a secret diary from the age of eight. “To make sure that none of my sisters got hold of it and read it, I used to put it in a waterproof tin box tied to a branch at the very top of an enormous conker tree in our garden. I knew they couldn’t climb up there. Then every day I would go up myself and get it out and sit in the tree and make the entries for the day.”



Roald’s parents seem to have instilled in him a number of character traits. In Boy, he talks of his father’s interest in “lovely paintings and fine furniture” as well as gardening. In spite of only having one arm, he was also a fine woodcarver. Paintings, furniture and gardening would all be passions of the adult Roald Dahl. Similarly, remembering his mother, in Roald Dahl’s Cookbook, he recalls “she had a crystal-clear intellect and a deep interest in almost everything under the sun, from horticulture to cooking to wine to literature to paintings to furniture to birds and dogs and other animals.” Roald might very well have been describing his adult self.



SCHOOL



Roald had an unhappy time at school. From the age of seven to nine, he attended Llandaff Cathedral School. His chief memories of this time, as described in Boy, are of trips to the sweet shop. The seeds of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory were already being sown as young Roald and his four friends lingered outside the shop window, gazing in at the big glass jars of sweets and pondering such questions as how Gobstoppers change colour and whether rats might be turned into liquorice. Sherbert suckers were one of Roald’s favourites – “Each Sucker consisted of a yellow cardboard tube filled with sherbert powder, and there was a hollow liquorice straw sticking out of it… You sucked the sherbert up through the straw and when it was finished you ate the liqourice… The sherbet fizzed in your mouth, and if you knew how to do it, you could make white froth come out of your nostrils and pretend you were throwing a fit.”



Boarding at St. Peter’s prep school in Weston-Super-Mare, from 1925-9, proved less of a sweet experience for Roald. He was just nine years old when he arrived at St. Peters and had to contend with the twitching Latin Master Captain Hardcastle, the all-powerful Matron - a dead ringer for Miss Trunchball, who “disliked small boys very much indeed” and the cane-wielding Headmaster. Not surprisingly, Roald suffered from acute homesickness. At St. Peter’s, Roald got into the habit of writing to his mother once a week. He continued to do so until her death 32 years later. Later, when his own children went to boarding school, Roald wrote to them twice a week to brighten up the drudgery of their school days.



Roald was thirteen when he started at Repton, a famous public school in Derbyshire. He excelled at sports, particularly heavyweight boxing and squash, but was deemed by his English master to be “quite incapable of marshalling his thoughts on paper”. Whatever else he was forced to endure, there was one huge advantage to going to Repton. The school was close to Cadbury’s, one of England’s most famous chocolate factories and one which regularly involved the schoolboys in testing new varieties of chocolate bars.



Dahl’s unhappy time at school was to greatly influence his writing. He once said that what distinguished him from most other children’s writers was “this business of remembering what it was like to be young.” Roald’s childhood and schooldays are the subject of his autobiography Boy.

WAR & ADVENTURE



At 18, rather than going to university, Roald joined the Public Schools Exploring Society’s expedition to Newfoundland. He then started work for Shell as a salesman in Dar es Salaam. He was 23 when war broke out and signed up with the Royal Air Force in Nairobi. At first, the station doctor balked at his height (6ft 6in or 2 metres) but he was accepted as a pilot officer and was trained on the birdplane Gladiator fighters, mainly in Iraq. He then flew to join his squadron in the Western Desert of Libya but crashed en-route.



Dahl’s exploits in the war are detailed in his autobiography Going Solo. They include having a luger pointed at his head by the leader of a German convoy, crashlanding in no-man’s land (and sustaining injuries that entailed having his nose pulled out and shaped!) and even surviving a direct hit during the Battle of Athens, when he was sufficiently recovered to fly again – this time in Hurricanes. Eventually, he was sent home as an invalid but transferred, in 1942, to Washington as an air attaché. It was there that he would meet an important writer who would set him on the path to a new career.



THE FIRST CHAPTER: ROALD BEGINS TO WRITE



In 1942, during his time in Washington, C S Forester, author of Captain Hornblower, took Roald to lunch. Forester was in America to publicise the British war effort and hoped Roald would describe his version of the war, which Forester would write up for the Saturday Evening Post. Roald chose to write down his experiences. Ten days after receiving the account, Forester wrote back “Did you know you were a writer? I haven’t changed a word.” He enclosed a cheque for $900 from the Post. The piece appeared anonymously in August 1942 under the title “Shot Down Over Libya”. Roald’s career as a writer was underway.



Roald Dahl’s first book for children was not, as many suppose, James and the Giant Peach but The Gremlins, a picture book published in 1943 and adapted from a script written for Disney. Walt Disney had invited the 25 year-old Roald to Hollywood, given him the use of a car and put him up at the Beverly Hills Hotel. The story of The Gremlins focused on the mischievous spirits that, according to RAF legend, cause aircraft-engine failures. In the end, the project to make a movie version was abandoned but the book was published. Roald was never very keen on The Gremlins and didn’t really think of it as a children’s book. Nevertheless, it caught Eleanor Roosevelt’s eye and Roald became a not infrequent guest at th





























Biography

"I have never met a boy who so persistently writes the exact opposite of what he means," a teacher once wrote in the young Roald Dahl's report card. "He seems incapable of marshaling his thoughts on paper." From such inauspicious beginnings emerged an immensely successful author whom The Evening Standard would one day dub "one of the greatest children's writers of all time."

Dahl may have been an unenthusiastic student, but he loved adventure stories, and when he finished school he went out into the world to have some adventures of his own. He went abroad as a representative of the Shell corporation in Dar-es-Salaam, and then served in World War II as a pilot in the Royal Air Force. After the war, Dahl began his writing career in earnest, publishing two well-received collections of short stories for adults, along with one flop of a novel.

The short stories, full of tension and subtle psychological horror, didn't seem to presage a children's author. Malcolm Bradbury wrote in The New York Times Book Review, "[Dahl's] characters are usually ignoble: he knows the dog beneath the skin, or works hard to find it." Yet this talent for finding, and exposing, the nastier sides of grown-up behavior served him well in writing for children. As Dahl put it, "Writing is all propaganda, in a sense. You can get at greediness and selfishness by making them look ridiculous. The greatest attribute of a human being is kindness, and all the other qualities like bravery and perseverance are secondary to that."

In 1953, Dahl married the actress Patricia Neal; two of his early children's books, James and the Giant Peach (1961) and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (1964) grew out of the bedtime stories he made up for their children. Elaine Moss, writing in the Times, called the latter "the funniest children's book I have read in years; not just funny but shot through with a zany pathos which touches the young heart." Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was a colossal hit. A film version starring Gene Wilder was released in 1971 (as Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory), while James and the Giant Peach was made into a movie in 1996.

Dahl followed his initial successes with a string of bestsellers, including Danny, the Champion of the World, The Twits, The BFG, The Witches and Matilda. Some adults objected to the books' violence -- unpleasant characters (like James’s Aunts Sponge and Spiker) tend to get bumped off in grotesque and inventive ways -- but Dahl defended his stories as part of a tradition of gruesome fairy tales in which mean people get what they deserve. "These tales are pretty rough, but the violence is confined to a magical time and place," he said, adding that children like violent stories as long as they're "tied to fantasy and humor." By the time of his death in 1990, Dahl's mischievous wit had captivated so many readers that The Times called him "one of the most widely read and influential writers of our generation."

Good To Know

When Dahl was in school, he and his schoolmates occasionally served as new-product testers for the Cadbury chocolate company. Dahl used to dream of working in a chocolate manufacturer's inventing room. He wrote in his autobiography, "I have no doubt at all that, 35 years later, when I was looking for a plot for my second book for children, I remembered those little cardboard boxes and the newly invented chocolates inside them, and I began to write a book called Charlie and the Chocolate Factory."

Dahl's first book for children, The Gremlins (1943), was a story about the mythical creatures that sabotaged British planes. (Dahl claimed for most of his life that he had coined the term "gremlins," but it had been in use by members of the Royal Air Force for years.) Walt Disney planned to use it as the basis for a movie, but the project was scrapped, and only 5,000 copies of the book were ever printed.

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    1. Date of Birth:
      September 13, 1916
    2. Place of Birth:
      Llandaff, Wales, England
    1. Date of Death:
      November 23, 1990
    2. Place of Death:
      Oxford, England

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 14 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 14 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 15, 2003

    You can't go wrong with Roald Dahl

    Roald Dahl is one of the few writers who relates to readers of all ages. Anyone who appreciates wit, cynicism and an amazing ability to challenge the border between fantasy and reality will love My Uncle Oswald (or any other of Dahl's books). Oswald is written in a similar style to his children's stories except that the subjects are blatantly provocative and the language is quite advanced. I highly recommend this book.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 9, 2003

    Hey, I may be young...

    I highly recommend this book. I was 11 when I first came across this book, and having previously sworn to myself to read all of Dahl's works, I started on this one. Well, right behind me was my mother, so after page 55 she returned the book and told me to wait a few years. 2 years later, I read this book in 2 days, and me being a perverted child, I soaked it up and have commited my favorite quotes to memory. I severly recommend this book to anyones who loves reading about sex. Whether or not you've experienced it yourself. Step aside Shakespeare, here comes Roald Dahl in his finest adult novel.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 26, 2013

    Font wadre your money anr time

    This is worste book ive ever read pr at least clse to it

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 28, 2013

    Good

    Good

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 30, 2013

    Amazing!

    This is easily one of the best books I have ever read!

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  • Posted April 6, 2013

    Hilarious!

    Fabulous writing for adults from the most auspicious children's writer! Laughed out loud many times.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 13, 2009

    Finally!

    Read this many years ago... and love it every bit as much today. Savor this book.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 14, 2003

    Great read!

    Absolutely hysterical, I laughed out loud! All the humor and cleverness of his other books twisted into a story for adults. Well worth the read.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 15, 2001

    sweetly seductive

    i stumbled on this book one day and it immediately caugh my attention. If you liked dahl as a child, you'll find him again in my uncle oswal, a light but comical story that will be sur to bring a smile to your lips. Years before viagra was ever invented, roald dahl imagines the blister beatle and imagine a devious plan to become rich. Fun read.

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    Posted July 5, 2010

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    Posted June 28, 2010

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    Posted February 24, 2009

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    Posted May 2, 2011

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 3, 2010

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