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MyFamilyLab is an interactive online solution for Family courses. This site gives you access to a wealth of resources all geared to meet individual learning needs. MyFamilyLab combines multimedia, tutorials, simulations, tests, and quizzes to make learning fun! This access code gives you access to all of MyFamilyLab’s grade-boosting resources. Access code also includes a complete E-Book of Williams/Sawyer/Wahlstrom, Marriages, Families, and Intimate Relationships: A Practical Introduction, 2/e.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780205672462
  • Publisher: Pearson
  • Publication date: 9/9/2008
  • Edition number: 2
  • Pages: 624
  • Product dimensions: 6.38 (w) x 9.00 (h) x 0.17 (d)

Meet the Author

BRIAN K. WILLIAMS is married to Stacey Sawyer and they live near Lake Tahoe, Nevada, and share an avid interest in seeing college students become well-educated. Over the past two decades, they have individually or together authored more than 25 books,in such subjects as health, college success, and computers and information technology.

He has been Managing Editor for college textbook publisher Harper & Row/Canfield Press in San Francisco; Editor in Chief for trade book publisher J. P. Tarcher in Los Angeles; Publications & Communications Manager for the University of California, Systemwide Administration, in Berkeley; and an independent writer and book producer based in the San Francisco and Lake Tahoe areas. He has a B.A. in English and M.A. in Communication from Stanford University.

STACEY C. SAWYER, formerly Director of Founder’s Clinic, a women’s reproductive health and family planning clinic in Columbus, Ohio, is an independent writer and book producer who has been based in the San Francisco and Lake Tahoe areas.

She has taught at Ohio State University and been a manager for Brooks/Cole Publishing Co. in Monterey, California. She has a B.A. from Ohio Wesleyan and the University of Freiburg, Germany, and an M.A. from Middlebury College and the University of Mainz, Germany.

She is coauthor of Computers, Communications, & Information, a college textbook in print for 15 years. She and husband Brian Williams also cowrote Using Information Technology, now in its 7th edition.

CARL M. WAHLSTROM is Professor of Intermediate Studies and Sociology at Genesee Community College, Batavia, New York, and isalso an Adjunct Lecturer in Sociology at the State University of New York at Geneseo. He has taught courses in marriage and the family, human development, learning strategies, sociology, psychology, human relations, and college success.

He has been the recipient of the State University of New York Chancellor’s Award for Excellence in Teaching, the Chancellor’s Award for Excellence in Scholarship and Creativity, the National Freshman Advocate Award, and several other teaching honors. He has a B.S. in Sociology and an M.S. Ed. in Counselor Education from SUNY Brockport and an M.A. in Sociology from the University of Bridgeport. He is an active presenter and educational consultant.

With Brian Williams he is coauthor of Learning Success, The Practical Student, The Urban Student, The Commuter Student, The Successful Distance Learning Student,and College to Career.He lives with his wife, Nancy, an employee benefits consultant, in the Finger Lakes area of New York.

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Table of Contents

1 SEEKING Finding Happiness in Relationships in a Complex World 1


ON THE WEB What Do You Seek in Love & Intimacy?

1.1 Seeking Happiness through Love & Intimacy

Marriage & Well-Being

NUMBERS THAT MATTER: Marriage, Families, & Happiness

Love, Marriage, & Happiness

Love, Appreciation, & Happiness

How Happy Are You in a Relationship?

EXAMPLE OF Practicing Appreciation & Love: Finding Meaning & Joy amid Sorrow

PRACTICAL ACTION: Happiness: Is It within Your Grasp?

The Challenges of Love, Work, & Raising Children

1.2 Intimacy, Marriage, & Family

What Is the Expression of Intimacy? The Three Dimensions of Breadth, Openness, & Depth

What Is Marriage?

What Is a Family?

1.3 The Challenges to Relationships &

Families Today

Why Have Families at All? Four Benefits

Today’s Changing Families: Economic Trends

Today’s Changing Families: Demographic Trends

Your Personal Exploration

Self-Assessment: The RELATE and READY Relationship Questionnaires

Key Terms Used in This Chapter


Take It to the Net

2 UNDERSTANDING Learning about Intimate Behavior

POPULAR CULTURE & THE MEDIA “Advertising Doesn’t Affect Me”

ON THE WEB Understanding Advertising

2.1 A Short History of Marriage

American Families in the Colonial Era

NUMBERS THAT MATTER: How Times Have Changed

Families inthe 19th & Early 20th Centuries

Families in the Modern Era

The Family in the 1960s—2000s: In Decline?

Recent History: Late 20th-Century Immigration

2.2 Learning How to Think: Keys to Being Open- Minded

Uncritical Thinking & Magical Thinking

The Steps in Critical Thinking

Mindfulness: Taking Active Control

PRACTICAL ACTION: Tools for Reasoning

2.3 How Do You Know What’s True? Learning to Evaluate Research Results

1. Survey Research: Collecting Data by Questionnaire or Interview from Representative Samples

2. Clinical Research: In-Depth Examination of Individuals or Groups in Counseling

3. Observational Research: Observing People in Their Usual Surroundings

4. Experimental Research: Measuring Behavior under Controlled Conditions

5. Other Kinds of Research Trying to Be Objective: How Do You Know What’s True?

2.4 Theoretical Perspectives on the Family

Two Types of Theories: Macro-Level versus Micro-Level Orientations

1. The Structural-Functional Perspective: The Family Is a Social Institution Performing Essential Functions

2. The Conflict Perspective: Conflict & Change, Not Harmony, Is the Normal State of the Family

3. The Symbolic Interaction Perspective: People’s Interactions Ultimately Determine Their Behavior

4. The Family Systems Perspective: Family Members Are Interconnected, & Changes in One Affect Others

5. The Social Exchange Perspective: Individuals Seek the Most Benefits & the Least Costs in a Relationship

6. The Feminist Perspective: Inequality between Men & Women Results from Male Dominance

7. The Ecological Perspective: The Family Is Influenced by & Influences Its Environment

8. The Family Development Perspective: Individuals & Families Change through Stages of Life

Is Any Perspective Better Than Any Other?

Different Folks, Different Families

Self-Assessment: Gaining Self-Knowledge from the Harvard Project Implicit Website

Key Terms Used in This Chapter


Take It to the Net

3 GENDER The Meanings of Masculinity & Femininity

POPULAR CULTURE & THE MEDIA The Varieties of Gender


ON THE WEB How Do the Mass Media Portray Masculinity &


3.1 Understanding Gender & Gender Roles

How to Talk about Gender: The Vocabulary

EXAMPLE OF a Transgenderist? Jazz Musician Billy Tipton

PRACTICAL ACTION: Preventing & Stopping Sexual Harassment

The Vocabulary of Sexism

NUMBERS THAT MATTER: Gender Differences

3.2 Why Do Gender Roles Differ? Some Theories

1. Sociobiology: Does Biology Determine Our Gender Differences?

2. Social Learning Theory: Does the Environment Determine Our Gender Differences?

3. Cognitive Development Theory: Does Our Age Determine Our Gender Differences?

4. Gender Schema Theory: Do We Develop Mental Categories for Organizing Our Gender Perceptions?

3.3 Gender Socialization: Who Teaches Us How to Act Male or Female?

1. How Our Parents May Have Influenced Us

2. How Our Peers May Have Influenced Us

EXAMPLE OF Gender Differences: Who’s Stronger, Boys or Girls?

3. How Teachers May Have Influenced Us

4. How Work May Influence Us

3.4 Gender Roles in Transition: Multiple Masculinities & Femininities

The Benefits of Traditional Gender Roles

The Drawbacks of Traditional Gender Roles

Changing Gender Roles

Role Conflict, Androgyny, & Postgender Relationships

What Do You Want?

Self-Assessment: What’s Your Gender Communications Quotient?

Key Terms Used in This Chapter


Take It to the Net

4 LOVE The Many Faces



ON THE WEB What is Love?

4.1 Can We Define Love?

Is Love All about Finding a Soul Mate?


Romantic Love & Companionate Love

EXAMPLE OF An Expression of Romantic Love: The Kiss

Friendship & Love

PRACTICAL ACTION: Love on the Internet: Can You Find the Perfect Partner Online?

Same-Sex Love

4.2 The Origins of Love: Some Theories

1. Biochemical Theory: “Love Is a Natural High”

2. Attachment Theory: “Closeness Is a Survival Need”

3. Wheel Theory: The Four Stages of Love

4. Triangular Theory: Toward Consummate Love

5. Styles of Love: Lee’s Six Kinds of Relationships

Trying to Quantify Love: Is Intimacy the Foundation of Loving Relationships?

4.3 The Dark Face of Love: Jealousy, Unrequited Love, & Attempts to Control

Jealousy: The Green-Eyed Monster

Unrequited Love: When Love Is Not Returned

Controlling: Trying to Control the Love Object

4.4 How Can You Tell Whether It’s Meaningful Love?

Immature versus Mature Love

The Concept of Soul Mate Revisited

Self-Assessment: How Capable Are You of Being Intimate?

Key Terms Used in This Chapter


Take It to the Net

5 INVOLVEMENT Dating, Pairing, Courtship, & Cohabitation


ON THE WEB Learning about Commitment &


5.1 The Dating Game


Courtship: From Parental Decisions to the Relationship Marketplace

The Functions of Dating

Is Dating a Filtering Process?

Factors Affecting Availability: Race, Class, Age, & Religion

5.2 Pairing Up: Finding & Choosing a Partner

Finding a Partner Amid Masses of People

Meeting People

Variations in Dating

PRACTICAL ACTION: Dealing with Print & Online Relationship Ads: Anonymity, Intimacy, & Safety

5.3 Cohabitation: Living Together as an Unmarried Couple

People Who Live Together: Why & Who

EXAMPLE OF Who’s Living Together: Cohabitation among Europeans

The Experience of Living Together

PRACTICAL ACTION: Before Moving in Together: Setting Ground Rules for Understanding

5.4 Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

Four Ways of Reacting to a Deteriorating Relationship

Ending a Relationship

Self-Assessment: How Compatible Are You & Your Prospective Partner?

Key Terms Used in This Chapter


Take It to the Net

6 COMMUNICATION Realizing Effective Intimacy

POPULAR CULTURE & THE MEDIA Communication & Conflict

ON THE WEB Communication

6.1 Power & Intimacy

Power & the Effects of Unequal Power

NUMBERS THAT MATTER: Communication & Power

How Power Works: Some Possible Explanations

EXAMPLE OF Competing Power: Stepfamilies

6.2 Conflict & Growth

Out of Intimacy, Conflict

What Do Couples Have Disagreements About?

How People Handle Conflict

Resolving Conflict: Five Rules for Fighting Fair & Preserving Your Relationship

PRACTICAL ACTION: When Partners Can’t Handle Their Conflicts: Family Therapy & Counseling

6.3 The Nature of Communication

Nonverbal Communication

Gender Differences

Barriers to Communication

Guide to Effective Communication

Self-Assessment: Accepting Your Partner

Key Terms Used in This Chapter


Take It to the Net

7 SEXUALITY Interpersonal Sexuality, Sexual Values, & Behavior

POPULAR CULTURE & THE MEDIA How Do We Learn about Sex?

ON THE WEB About Sex

7.1 Sexual Values, Learning, & Scripts

When Sex Doesn’t Work

Sexual Values


How We Learn about Sex

Sexual Scripts

EXAMPLE OF A Script for Women: Slim, Blond, & Youthful

7.2 The Varieties of Sexual Experience

The Different Kinds of Sexual Behavior

Sexual Difficulties & What to Do about Them

7.3 AIDS & Other Sexual Diseases

Sexually Transmitted Diseases

HIV & AIDS: The Modern Scourge

Self-Assessment: Test Your Knowledge of Sexuality

Key Terms Used in This Chapter


Take It to the Net

8 MARRIAGE The Ultimate Commitment?

POPULAR CULTURE & THE MEDIA What Kind of Marriage &

Family Is Really Real?

ON THE WEB The Marriage Surprise

8.1 Why Do People Marry?

Why Individuals Get Married


Happiness, Marriage, & Race: The Interracial Experience

The Expectations People Have for Marriage

PRACTICAL ACTION: Make It Your Wedding: Ideas for Today’s Nuptials

PRACTICAL ACTION: Are These Prospective Marriage Partners Off Limits?

8.2 Changes in the Family Life Cycle: Scenes from a Marriage

1. Beginning Phase: Greatest Marital Satisfaction?

2. Child-Rearing Phase: Less Marital Satisfaction?

3. Middle-Age Phase: More Marital Satisfaction?

4. Aging Phase

8.3 Different Kinds of Marriage Relationships

1. Five Types of Enduring Marriages: Cuber & Harroff’s Research

2. Four Kinds of “Good Marriages” & Their Built-in “Antimarriages”: Wallerstein & Blakeslee’s


EXAMPLE OF An Intrinsic Marriage? Bernard-Henry Lévy & Arielle Dombasle

What Can We Conclude?

8.4 What Makes for a Successful Marriage?

Good Marriages: What the Research Shows

Your Personal Journey to Marriage Success

Self-Assessment: Sternberg’s Triangular Love Scale

Key Terms Used in This Chapter


Take It to the Net

9 VARIATIONS Nonmarital Families & Households

POPULAR CULTURE & THE MEDIA What about Alternatives?

ON THE WEB Alternatives to Marriage Project

9.1 Different Family & Household Relationships

Different Ways of Living: Four Examples


New Family Arrangements

9.2 The Single Way of Life

The World of Heterosexual Singles

Myths & Realities about Singles

Different Kinds of Singles

Being a Single Parent

9.3 The Gay & Lesbian Way of Life

Sexual Orientation: Heterosexuality, Homosexuality, & Bisexuality

Acquiring a Gay Identity

Prejudice, Discrimination, & Violence against


PRACTICAL ACTION: The Other Side of Gay Liberation: The Effect on Straight Family Members

Gay Couples

Same-Sex Commitments

Gays as Parents: The “Gayby Boom”

How Are Children Affected by Having Gay Parents?

PRACTICAL ACTION: Legal & Financial Considerations for Unmarried Couples, Straight or Gay

9.4 Communal Living, Group Marriages, & Open Marriages


Group Marriage

Open Marriages

Self-Assessment: Homophobia Scale

Key Terms Used in This Chapter


Take It to the Net

10 REPRODUCTION Decisions about Having or Not Having Children

POPULAR CULTURE & THE MEDIA Reproduction by High-Tech Means

ON THE WEB Safe Haven Laws

10.1 Having or Not Having Children: Choice or Fate?

How Would You React If You Suddenly Learned That You’ll Be a Parent?

The Choices: Child-Free, Postponing Children, One Child, or Many Children?

NUMBERS THAT MATTER: Having or Not Having Children

What Influences People to Have Children?

The Costs of Raising Children

EXAMPLE OF Being Childless in a Child-Oriented Society: A Woman’s View, a Man’s View

10.2 Contraception: Practical Methods of Birth Control

The Abstinence Controversy: Bad Science at work?

Contraceptive Choices

Five Categories of Contraception

10.3 Abortion & Abandonment

Abortions: Spontaneous versus Induced

Abortion, Psychological Health, & Moral Issues

Safe Havens for Placing Abandoned Babies

10.4 Infertility, Reproductive Technology, & Adoption

The Causes of Infertility

Treating Infertility: Assisted Reproductive



Self-Assessment: How Would You Deal with an Unexpected Pregnancy?

Key Terms Used in This Chapter


Take It to the Net

11 PARENTING Children, Families, & Generations

POPULAR CULTURE & THE MEDIA “Will My Kids Turn Out All Right?”

ON THE WEB “Leave No Child Behind”

11.1 Parenthood: The Varieties of Experience

The Status & the Rights of Children


Young Parents: Teen Pregnancies

Single Parents: Unmarried & Divorced

Older Parents

Minority Parents

Nontraditional Parents: Single Fathers, Relatives, & Gays & Lesbians

EXAMPLES OF Two New Kinds of Parent—Child Arrangements: A Pair of Fathers, a Son Never Officially Adopted

Working Parents

Your Own Background: Functional or Dysfunctional


A Sense of Perspective: Parents Aren’t the Only Influences on Their Children

PRACTICAL ACTION: Toxic Parents & Transcenders: How Do Some People Survive Abusive Parents?

11.2 Becoming a Parent

Adjusting to Pregnancy & Childbirth

Adjusting to Parenting

11.3 Parenting Approaches

Three Parenting Approaches

Five Parenting Styles

How to Be an Effective Parent

11.4 The Aging Family: When Parents & Children Get Older

Parental Transitions


The Childless or Child-Free Older Adult

Self-Assessment: Assessing Your Readiness to Become a Parent

Key Terms Used in This Chapter


Take It to the Net

12WORK Economics, Jobs, & Balancing Family Demands

POPULAR CULTURE & THE MEDIA Is Money the Measure of Love?

ON THE WEB Money Matters

12.1 Work,Wealth, & Well-Being


How Work Has Changed

The Unequal Distribution of Income & Wealth

Economic Changes Affecting the Family Today

EXAMPLE OF The Effects of Unemployment: Coping with the Spiral of Stress

What about the “Social Safety Net”?

12.2 Changing Family Work Patterns

Traditional Families: Good-Provider Husband, Homemaker Wife

Co-Provider Families: Husbands & Wives as Economic Partners

Single Working Parents

12.3 Balancing Work & Family Demands: Some Practical Strategies

When Major Role Disruptions Occur: Overload, Conflict, & Ambiguity

PRACTICAL ACTION: Choosing Good Daycare: Help for Working Parents

Strategy #1: Mentally Separate Work & Home Roles

Strategy #2: Use Positive Self-Talk to Replace Negative Thoughts

Strategy #3: Develop Good Time-Management & Task delegation Skills

Strategy #4: Employ Customized Work Arrangements

Strategy #5: Take Other Forms of Time Off

Strategy #6: Scale Down Your Career–at Least for a While

A Final Word: The Effects on Children of Mothers

Working Are Not Purely Negative

Self-Assessment: How Well Do You Balance Work & Life?

Key Terms Used in This Chapter


Take It to the Net

13 CRISES Managing Stress, Disaster, Violence, & Abuse


ON THE WEB Dealing with the Ultimate Crisis

13.1 Stresses, Hassles, & Crises: Seeking Hardiness

Stress & Stressors

NUMBERS THAT MATTER: Crises & Violence

Psychological Stress Reactions

Toward Becoming a Hardy Person

13.2 Crises & Disasters

Types of Stressor Events: Internal versus External

Some Predictable Stressors of the Family Life Cycle

Some Unpredictable Stressors

EXAMPLE OF A Loving Marriage Won’t Prevent Infidelity: The Lessons of Shirley Glass

PRACTICAL ACTION: How Do You Know If Someone Is Likely to Attempt Suicide?

13.3 Violence & Abuse: The Dark Side of Intimate Relationships

Violence & Abuse among Intimates: Some Definitions

Violence in Dating & Live-Together Relationships

Violence between Husband & Wife

Child Abuse & Neglect

Elder Abuse & Neglect

13.4 Coping Strategies: Successful Ways of Handling Stresses & Crises

Good versus Bad Stressors

Defense Mechanisms

Adaptation versus Coping Strategies

Strategy for Living #1: Reduce the Stressors

Strategy for Living #2: Manage Your Emotional Response

Strategy for Living #3: Develop a Support System

Strategy for Living #4: Take Care of Your Body

Strategy for Living #5: Develop Relaxation Techniques

Self-Assessment: Major Life Events & Stress

Key Terms Used in This Chapter


Take It to the Net

14 UNCOUPLING Separation & Divorce

POPULAR CULTURE & THE MEDIA Marriage & Divorce, Love &


ON THE WEB Learning about the Aftermath of Divorce

14.1 Separation, Divorce, & Trends

The Continuing Search for Happiness: Are Our Expectations for Intimacy Too High?

NUMBERS THAT MATTER: Separation & Divorce

Marital Endings: Desertion, Separation, Annulment, & Divorce

Trends in Divorce

14.2 Why People Divorce

Can a Happy Marriage Save Your Life?

Societal & Demographic Factors Associated with Divorce

Personal Factors Associated with Divorce

14.3 The Process of Divorce

The Long Good-Bye: Bohannan’s Six Stations of Divorce

PRACTICAL ACTION: Alternatives to the Courtroom: Rent-a-Judge, Divorce Mediation, & Collaborative Divorce

Divorce Mediation & Collaborative Divorce

14.4 The Effects of Divorce

Emotional, Psychological, & Physical Effects

Financial Effects

Effects of Child Custody Arrangements

The Effect of Divorce on Children

EXAMPLE OF the Pain of Children: How Can Parents Help Them Adjust to Divorce?

The Good Divorce

Self-Assessment: How’s Your Marital Adjustment?

Key Terms Used in This Chapter


Take It to the Net

15 REMARRIAGE Reinvented, Renewed, & Blended Families

POPULAR CULTURE & THE MEDIA Makeovers: Remarriages & Stepfamilies

ON THE WEB About Stepfamilies

15.1 Moving toward Remarriage

After the First Marriage: Returning to the Single Life & Dating Again

NUMBERS THAT MATTER: Remarried Couples & Blended Families

Middle-Aged Singles: Dating, Sex, & Lifestyles

Why Remarry?

15.2 Remarried & Blended Families

Remarriage: “This Time It Will Be Different”

Blended Families & Kinship Networks

Characteristics of Stepfamilies: From Sad Beginnings

Stages in Becoming a Blended Family

15.3 Inside the Blended Family

Being a Stepmother

Being a Stepfather

Being a Stepchild

The Special Problem of Sexual Boundaries

PRACTICAL ACTION: Sexual Abuse & Sexual Boundaries in Stepfamilies

15.4 Strengthening Stepfamilies

Five Potential Benefits of Stepfamilies

Steps toward Becoming a Successful Stepfamily

EXAMPLE OF Blended Bonds: Establishing Great Relationships within Stepfamilies

Self-Assessment: Rate Your Family’s Strengths

Key Terms Used in This Chapter

Summary 5

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