Getting Naked: Five Steps to Finding the Love of Your Life (While Fully Clothed & Totally Sober)

Getting Naked: Five Steps to Finding the Love of Your Life (While Fully Clothed & Totally Sober)

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by Harlan Cohen
     
 

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From Harlan Cohen, the bestselling author of THE NAKED ROOMMATE: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run into in College, comes GETTING NAKED, an honest, hopeful guide to getting a date, falling in love--or lust--and finding happiness in love (and in life). With a simple 5-step approach to finding the love of your life, Harlan answers the most commonly asked

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Overview

From Harlan Cohen, the bestselling author of THE NAKED ROOMMATE: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run into in College, comes GETTING NAKED, an honest, hopeful guide to getting a date, falling in love--or lust--and finding happiness in love (and in life). With a simple 5-step approach to finding the love of your life, Harlan answers the most commonly asked questions from his syndicated advice column, his college tours, his website, and his newest book for Gen Y. He helped a generation make the most of college life, now he'll help them find the love of their lives.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
“This book should be required reading for anyone looking for a relationship or re-evaluating a current relationship.  Harlan brilliantly delivers common sense relationship advice with a strong dose of humor.  Read this book now so that you can live a realistic 'happily ever after' forever.”—Carol Roth, Business Strategist and New York Times Bestselling Author of The Entrepreneur Equation

“The dating manual everyone should read—I only wish I’d had it sooner!”—Miss Marm, SparkNotes.com

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780312611781
Publisher:
St. Martin's Press
Publication date:
04/24/2012
Pages:
320
Sales rank:
741,149
Product dimensions:
5.25(w) x 7.07(h) x 0.90(d)

Meet the Author

HARLAN COHEN is a nationally syndicated advice columnist, speaker, and author of the bestselling advice book for college students, The Naked Roommate: And 107 other issues you might run into in college, now in its fourth edition. He has been a guest on the Today Show, all Chicago TV stations, and 100+ radio shows, and has been quoted in the New York Times, USA Today, Chicago Tribune, LA Times, and the Wall Street Journal.

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Getting Naked

Five Steps to Finding the Love of Your Life (While Fully Clothed & Totally Sober)
By Harlan Cohen

St. Martin's Griffin

Copyright © 2012 Harlan Cohen
All right reserved.

ISBN: 9780312611781

LESSON #1
 
We Learn … Sharing Our Feelings Is Stupid (or Just a Very Bad Idea)
 
 
It all starts with a first crush. That’s when we first smell danger. It’s also when we first learn that sharing our feelings is a VERY BAD idea or just plain stupid. From the first “like” our knee-jerk reaction is to avoid letting anyone know. We might confide in a friend or two, but the only way we are willing to openly share our feelings is if we are 100 percent certain the person we like will like us back.
We’ll flirt, ask friends to ask questions, creep on Facebook, ogle, Google, and investigate, but rarely say what we feel. We get as much information as possible without letting the people we like know we like them. We want to know if someone is available and interested. We ask friends to do our dirty work for us. The reason we use friends is so we can distance ourselves far enough to deny our feelings ever existed should the person we like not reciprocate or others find out about them. Technology and friends give us a safe buffer to cast blame and run like hell should rejection or humiliation find us.
As a result, we have imaginary relationships with people who don’t know they’re in relationships with us (thank you, Facebook). We get jealous of people who like the people we secretly like. We have friends find out information about the people we like, which inadvertently gets the people we like interested in our friends because they are the only ones talking. Most friends won’t date the people we like, but some will. It’s difficult not to blame them. It’s hard to meet people.
If we do share our feelings and our crush shares our interest we breathe a sigh of relief. If a crush doesn’t share our feelings the results can be devastating. It only reaffirms why it was wrong and stupid for us to share our feelings in the first place. We quickly learn that sharing our feelings and not having them reciprocated is about the worst thing that can happen. We can’t stand the pain of not being liked by the people we like. If other people find out it’s that much more humiliating. So we learn to hide our feelings and run like hell when we smell rejection coming.
*   *   *
Step 1 will give you the power to say and do what you feel without the fear of being rejected and/or humiliated.
My biggest hang-up was me. I was so worried about how I was perceived by other people that I didn’t get involved. It was self-preservation.
—Heidi, twenty-six, married


 
Copyright © 2012 by Harlan Cohen


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Excerpted from Getting Naked by Harlan Cohen Copyright © 2012 by Harlan Cohen. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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