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Hundreds of thousands of students agree, The Naked Roommate is the #1 go-to guide for your very best college experience!
From sharing a bathroom with 40 strangers to sharing lecture notes, The Naked Roommate is your behind-the-scenes look at EVERYTHING you need to know about college (but never knew you needed to know).
This essential, fully updated edition is packed with real-life advice on everything from managing money to managing stress. Hilarious, outrageous, and telling stories from students on over 100 college campuses cover the basics, and then some, including topics on:
College Living: Dorm dos, don'ts and dramas; lying, noisy, nasty roommates
Finding People, Places and Things: Facebook, Twitter, and beyond; Friend today, gone tomorrow
Classes: To go or not to go?; How to get an A, C, or F
Dating: 17 kinds of college hookups; long distance = BIG concerns
The Party Scene: The punch in the "fruit punch"; Sex, drugs, and the truth
Money: Grants, loans and loose change; Credit cards and online gambling
In college, there's a surprise around every corner. Luckily, The Naked Roommate has you covered!
Welcome Students
Welcome to the fifth edition of The Naked Roommate. Yes, this is the fifth edition (not a typo, the typos come later in the book). It’s so nice to have you here on page one. I’m Harlan. I’ll be your Naked author and host throughout this book. I’ve included a picture of myself on the back of the book (fully clothed) so you can see what I look like. And yes, I’ve actually been wearing that same outfit while writing this entire book (but I have gained about five pounds). As your host and author, I’d like to offer you something to eat or drink (nonalcoholic), but I don’t know where to find you or if you can eat or drink where you are. If you’re reading this at a place where they’re serving food or drinks, please get yourself something. I can’t pay for it, but if I were there, I would. I just want to make sure that you’re comfortable.
So please, slip off your shoes, unbutton the top button on your pants if they’re snug, find a comfortable place to sit if you’re standing. Do whatever it takes for you to get comfortable, as long as what you need to do to get comfortable isn’t prohibited by any indecency laws. If it is prohibited, please take this book home with you. I’m not trying to get you to buy it (well, maybe I am a little), but what is more important than your owning this book is that you are as comfortable as possible while reading it. Because when it comes down to it, that’s what this whole book is all about—and it’s really what the college experience is about. It’s about helping you to get comfortable for what can be an uncomfortable (at times) journey ahead. Now, I’ll give you a break to get comfortable. And please, feel free to browse through the book after you settle in.
—A BREAK IN THE BOOK—
Welcome Back
Hi, Harlan here again, your author and host. From browsing through this book, you are probably expecting a lot of tips. When it comes to “tips,” there are many different kinds in the world. There are good tips, bad tips, informative tips, tips that touch the surface, tips that give you something to think about, tips you leave on a table after eating at a restaurant, rib tips, fingertips, tiptoes, and various other miscellaneous tips. This is a tip book unlike any other tip book. It’s a book that goes far beyond the tip and leaves you with something to think about, and when applicable, even offers you places to go for help on and off campus. I’d like to go so far as to say that this is the best tip book in the history of tip books. (Minus the 1762 classic, Ten Tips for Settlers to the New Country. I do love that book.)
This might come to you as a surprise, but I wasn’t a fan of “tip books”—that is, until I wrote this book. I don’t just like this one because I wrote it (although that is part of the reason). It’s because this book is genuinely different. It’s based on what today’s college students are honestly thinking, feeling, and doing on today’s college campuses. It’s their voices sharing their stories and experiences that will expose the uncensored truth about what’s really going on in college. Not only will you get page after page of telling tips from students on over one hundred college campuses across North America, you’ll also get the latest facts, stats, resources, support services having to do with college life, and some advice from me—someone who has been a freshman twice, has visited over four hundred college campuses, and has interviewed over a thousand students. Whether you’re living on campus or commuting from home, whether you’re going to a big school or a small school, whether you’re the first person in your family going to college or the last—I’ve made sure that this book has something for everyone.
About the student-offered tips—one thing that I’ve discovered while writing my syndicated Help Me, Harlan! advice column and interviewing students over the years is that it’s the rest of the story, the story of how someone came up with his or her tip or advice, that is the most telling. And that’s exactly what you’ll find here—the tips and the stories behind them. That’s just not something you see every day. (Assuming you own this book, you now can see it every day if that’s what you enjoy doing with your spare time.)
Speaking of time, I appreciate yours. I promise not to waste it. This book will be helpful. At the very least, it can always be used as a doorstop, a coaster, or a way to level out a shaky table. The actual information written on the pages of your new doorstop/coaster/level will also prove helpful. Whether you’re heading to a college down the street or across the country, this book has something for you. Whether you’re headed to college as the star of your high school or you’re one of those students who blended into the cement block walls in the back of your classroom, this book has something for you. And that includes all those people who fall somewhere in between blending into the cement blocks and being a star. Whether you’re attending a two-year school, a four-year school, or a virtual school, this book is written with you in mind. Whether you’re from the United States, Canada, Spain, Australia, Austria, India, China, or a country I haven’t mentioned, The Naked Roommate is also for you. This is the book that I only wish someone had written for me when I went to college. In fact, this book has proven so helpful over the years that it’s now being used as required reading, as a textbook, and as a training guide for student leaders on campus. In addition, there’s now a Naked Roommate’s First Year Survival Workbook and an online instructor’s guide to go along with the book.
While high schools do a great job of getting students into college, once on campus, few students know what to expect. That’s what this book is all about—to help you expect the unexpected so that when the unexpected shows up, it won’t be so hard to handle. When I went to college, I thought it was going to be an easy transition. I had two older brothers who had both been to college (one is five years older, the other eight years older). I also had a long-distance girlfriend who was a senior in high school. I went to a big university after graduating from a big high school, and expected everything to just fall into place. But instead, I only felt out of place. It took almost two semesters and my transferring from the University of Wisconsin at Madison (an awesome school) to Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana (another awesome school), to figure it all out. At IU, I experienced a second freshman year and realized there’s so much no one tells us about life in college. That’s why I wrote this book—to share all the things that no one ever tells you about your college years, things that will make college life easier to handle. Whether on a commuter campus, a college near home, or a university far away from home, so much of what students experience during the college years is universal. It’s a higher education in love, in life, and in finding passion—inside and outside the classroom.
I’m so happy that you finally have your hands on The Naked Roommate. I hope you will keep this close to you through your college career. You might not need everything on the pages to follow today, but you’ll use different parts of The Naked Roommate (and the Survival Workbook) during different times throughout your college career. When you do need it, it’s here. I know it will help.
Please note—you probably won’t encounter every single issue and obstacle discussed in this book (and if you do, you should write your own book). That said, you will encounter many of them, if not in your own life, then in the lives of your friends. When that happens, you can share this book or get them their own copies. One thing I should mention before continuing: I promised many of the college students who offered advice for this book not to just talk about the bad parts of college; they didn’t want this book to scare you, because the truth is that most of life in college is great. It’s just once in a while it’s not great. And that’s what this book is here for. To help make it great even in the not so great times. And with that, I’ve fulfilled my promise.
As you read this book and live out your own college experience, please send in your thoughts, tips, and stories. Make sure to check out www.NakedRoommate.com (the world’s nicest community for students) to connect with other college students and share your experiences. You can also find me at www.HelpMeHarlan.com. Then there’s Facebook: www.Facebook.com/TNRFanpage and www.Facebook.com/HelpMeHarlan. Oh, and there’s also Twitter (I tweet, do you tweet?): @NakedRoommate and @HarlanCohen.
If you find that your parents need help, there’s a book for them too. I wanted to title it The NAKED Parent, but instead (for obvious reasons), we went with The Naked Roommate: For Parents Only. The book is written to help your parents support you throughout your college experience. Get it for them as a going away gift—you’ll be a hero.
If you should ever find yourself in need of additional relationship advice, visit www.GettingNakedExperiment.com and check out my new book, Getting Naked: Five Steps to Finding the Love of Your Life (While Fully Clothed and Totally Sober).
As your author and host, please let me know if there is ever anything I can do to help you along your college journey. I know you have a choice when it comes to books about college life, and I appreciate your choosing this one. Thank you.
Contents
Book Orientation: The Stuff before the Tips
Welcome Students
Welcome Parents
Welcome Educators
About the Editorial Content
The Fifth Edition: Like a Shower and a Shave
Fifth Edition Notes to Specific Readers
A Final Note to All Readers
First Page, First Tip, and First Days of College
Chapter 1
Arriving on Campus: So Real You Can Smell It, Touch It, and Taste It
1: Expect the Unexpected
2: Patience, Patience, and More Patience
3: Finding Your Places on Campus
3.5: Getting the Right People in Your Corner
4: When Lost or Confused, Ask
5: Be Yourself: Not Me, Not Him, Not Her
6: About Your Parents...
7: Homesickness: Breathe Deep, It's in the Air
8: Technology: The Fifth Wall
Harlan's Tip Sheet
Chapter 2
Residence Halls: Living, Eating, and Bathing with Hundreds of Strangers
9: Residence Halls: A Cruise without the Water
10: Meet People without Even Trying
11: Resident Assistants: Your Personal Assistant
12: Not All Residence Halls Are Created Equal
13: The Ugly Side of Residential Life
Harlan's Tip Sheet
Chapter 3
Roommates: Good Ones, Bad Ones, and Everything in Between
14: The Ultimate Roommate Rule
15: The Random Roommate
16: The Naked Roommate
17: The Best Friend Roommate
18: The Gay, Lesbian, or Bisexual Roommate (pick one)
19: The Noisy, Naughty, and/or Nasty Roommate
19.99: The Masturbating Roommate
20: The Your-Girlfriend/Boyfriend-Doesn't-Live-Here Roommate
21: The Lying, Stealing, Klepto Roommate
22: The Drunk and/or High Roommate
23: The Roommate in Need
Harlan's Tip Sheet
A Break to Warn You about Holiday Break
Chapter 4
Finding Friends: Your Social or Antisocial College Life
24: The Snow Globe Factor
25: Shopping for New Friends
26: Why College Friends Are Different
27: Friend Today, Gone Tomorrow
28: High School Friends, Cows, and Cats
Harlan's Tip Sheet
Chapter 5
Getting Involved on Campus: An All-You-Can-Do Buffet
29: Getting Involved: What, Where, When, How, and Why (but not in that order)
30: Clubs and Organizations: A Smorgasbord of Opportunity
31: Sports and Athletics: Buckets of College Sweat
32: Academic Organizations: Where Smart People Gather
33: Religious Activities: Your Prayers Answered and the Culture Club (not Boy George)
34: The Perks: Travel and See the World for Free
Harlan's Tip Sheet
Chapter 6: Greek Life: Behind the Doors, Windows, and Walls of Fraternity and Sorority Life
35: Greek Life: Getting In
36: Greek Life: The Good
37: Greek Life: The Bad
38: Greek Life: The Ugly
Harlan's Tip Sheet
Chapter 7 Life Inside the Classroom: Assuming You Wake Up and Go to Class
39: To Go or Not to Go
40: Nice Professor, Nice Professor
41: How to Get an A (or almost an A)
42: How to Just Pass
43: How to Fail
44: The Cheat Sheet
45: The Art of Reading (or not reading) the College Textbook
46: Take Notes Here
47: Do It in a Group
48: Old Exams, Sharing Notes, and Mostly Legal Ways to Pass
49: The Major Issue: Picking One
50: Advice on Your Advisor
51: Pick a Number, Any Number
52: Time for Time Management
53: Wine Tasting, Bowling, and Other Important Electives
Harlan's Tip Sheet
Chapter 8
Dating and Relationships: Your Higher Education in Lust, Love, and Loss
54: The Rules of College Love (or just lust)
55: The College Hookup
56: Close-Distance Relationships
57: Long-Distance Relationships (LDRs)
58: High School Bitter Sweethearts
59: Imaginary Relationships and Online Dating
60: The Friendly Relationship
61: Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual Relationships
62: Cheaters, Users, and Abusers
63: I Have No Life Other Than My Relationship
64: I Got Dumped and No Longer Have a Relationship
Harlan's Tip Sheet
Chapter 9
Sex: Having It, Not Having It, Hearing Other People Having It
65: Deciding to Do It
66: Deciding Not to Do It
67: Doing It Way Too Much
68: The One-Night Stand
69: Pimps, Hos, and Reputations
70: Sexual Souvenirs
71: The U of Birth Control
72: Possibly Pregnant
Harlan's Tip Sheet
Chapter 10
Drinking on Campus: Tapping the Keg of Truth
73: Drinking on Campus
74: Slow Down, Don't Drink Too Fast
75: Not Everyone Is Drinking
76: The Social Lubricant
77: Safer Unsafe Sex and Alcohol
78: Sexual Assault and Alcohol
79: Don't Be So Stupid That You Accidentally Kill Yourself
80: Drinking and Driving
81: Still Hungover...
82: You Might Be an Alcoholic If
Harlan's Tip Sheet
Chapter 11
Drugs on Campus: The Smoking, Snorting, and Pill-Popping Truth
83: About Drugs on Campus
84: How to Avoid Them
85: Why Not to Do Drugs
86: Just Don't Accidentally Die
87: College Smoking Butts
Harlan's Tip Sheet
Chapter 12
Money, Laundry, and Cheap Eats: Assuming You Have Enough Money to Eat and Do Laundry
88: Loans, Grants, Scholarships, and Loose Change
89: Your Financial Aid Advisor: Money, Money, Money, Monnnnneeey
90: Part-Time Jobs, Big-Time Benefits
91: The Credit Card and the $600 Candy Bar
92: Bad Checks, Bad Credit, and Bad Ideas...
93: Checking Out the College Checking Account
94: Sorry, This Book Is Now "Used"
95: Cheap Strategies for Eating (or barely eating)
96: Laundry Tips: This Page Is Not Fabric Softener
Harlan's Tip Sheet
Chapter 13
Things Not Mentioned in the College Brochure: What They Don't Tell You
97: The Freshman 15...Or, Um, 45
98: The Student Body Image
99: Exposing the College Eating Disorder
100: Depression and Other Major Mental Health Issues
101: Sexual Assault
102: To Transfer or Not to Transfer
103: Safe, Schmafe
104: Commuting? Words to Take with You
104.1: Community College: A Smart and Less Expensive Road
105: Diversity: Sexual, Religious, Racial-It's All Good
Harlan's Tip Sheet
Chapter 14
College: A Higher Education: It's Almost Time to Say Good-bye
106: The U of No Regrets
107: Your Tip Goes Here
Naked Bonus: Naked Blog Entries
The Naked Rear End
About the Naked Author
Overview
Hundreds of thousands of students agree, The Naked Roommate is the #1 go-to guide for your very best college experience!
From sharing a bathroom with 40 strangers to sharing lecture notes, The Naked Roommate is your behind-the-scenes look at EVERYTHING you need to know about college (but never knew you needed to know).
This essential, fully updated edition is packed with real-life advice on everything from managing money to managing stress. ...