Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator [NOOK Book]

Overview

Killing zombies? Easy. Hosting reality TV? That's tough! By the 2040s, the shambling dead have become and international problem. While governments and special interest groups vie for the most environmentally-friendly way to rid the world of zombies, a new breed of exterminator has risen: The Zombie Exterminator. When zombie exterminator Neeta Lyffe gets sued because a zombie she set afire stumbles onto a lawyer's back porch, she needs money, fast. So she agrees to train apprentice exterminators in a reality TV ...
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Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator

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Overview

Killing zombies? Easy. Hosting reality TV? That's tough! By the 2040s, the shambling dead have become and international problem. While governments and special interest groups vie for the most environmentally-friendly way to rid the world of zombies, a new breed of exterminator has risen: The Zombie Exterminator. When zombie exterminator Neeta Lyffe gets sued because a zombie she set afire stumbles onto a lawyer's back porch, she needs money, fast. So she agrees to train apprentice exterminators in a reality TV show that makes Survivor look like a game of tag. But that's nothing compared to having to deal with crazy directors, bickering contestants and paparazzi. Can she keep her ratings up, her bills paid and her apprentices alive and still keep her sanity? Excerpt: The workout room had a weights set and an elliptical in one corner, but Neeta ignored them. She needed more vigorous exercise than that if she wanted to burn off her emotional funk. None of the plebes had done the routine she'd just set for herself. It didn't really reflect the reality of zombie movements, either. Although the crew had designed the targets to look much like actual undead, they moved too quickly, changed direction too suddenly, lunged and retreated in ways zombies couldn't imitate. They zigged and zagged, dropped from the ceiling to zoom back up, flung themselves from the ground to trip the unwary. For once, this wasn't about training. Neeta steeled herself, found an opening and dove in with a roar. She swung high, tagging the first zombie with the edge of her blade just as it got within her reach. This was about reflexes, She jumped over the arm that sprung up in front of her, doing the splits as she brought down her chainsaw to slice the hand off at the wrist. ?about burning aggression, She spun a full circle, moving the saw in a sine wave. She took one target out at the knees, sliced another sideways across the chest, beheaded a third. ?about moving beyond thought and planning and negotiations with writers and directors and people who cared more for ratings than lives, She lunged, spun, kicked and swung, her battle cries a perfect accompaniment to the pounding music. A buzzer sounded, and the lights brightened and steadied. The targets stopped their frenetic motions and presented themselves for her to examine. She dropped the saw where she stood and braced her hands against her knees to catch her breath. Her arms felt like lead. A good feeling. She moved among the grimacing targets, noting the strikes that would have severed limbs, the ones that would have beheaded... When she came to the long-haired one with the pot belly, she gave a feral grin. She's landed the blade in perfect position to slice Dave's manic smile right off his face.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781615722723
  • Publisher: Eternal Press/Damnation Books LLC
  • Publication date: 12/1/2010
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Sales rank: 847,747
  • File size: 756 KB

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Sort by: Showing all of 2 Customer Reviews
  • Posted March 2, 2011

    Best parody I've read.

    "Hell's Kitchen" with heart. Pretty much sums it up :). Neeta's got to whip her students into shape, so they can learn to slice and dice zombies. She's not the heartless terror that Chef What's-his-name is, but she can't afford to be soft when dealing with the undead.
    I laughed SO hard while reading Neeta Lyffe. But humor is not Karina's only strong point. The book has an actual plot and real characterization--two things that often lack in parody and humor writing. I became a fan of Karina's writing with the first Dragon Eye, P.I. short story, and then a bigger fan after reading Magic, Mensa, and Mayhem. She did not disappoint me with Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator.

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  • Posted December 19, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    Neeta is to zombies what Buffy is to vampires

    Not since the glory days of Buffy the Vampire Slayer has a female killer of the undead burst onto the scene. Karina Fabian's Neeta Lyffe: Zombie Exterminator is a chainsaw-wielding heroine who's not afraid to kick some major paranormal ass. Whether she is dousing putrefied reanimated corpses with industrial-strength cleaning supplies or lighting them on fire, she's not one to run the other way when confronted with the walking dead. Instead much like her day job of eliminating rats and fleas, she exterminates zombies who threaten to spread their disease by sinking their teeth into living human flesh. The only way to stop them is by severing the spinal cord, namely decapitation.

    This gruesome work is so in demand by the year 2040 that Neeta is the star of her own reality show. Her mission is to train seven recruits through the staged trials of exterminator certification. Right out of the gate, the book opens with the death of one of her plebes, surfer-dude Bergie. This life-imitating-art form of entertainment is so full of sensationalism that his death is seen in living rooms across the country. Neeta knows she has made a deal with the devil - namely the show's producer, Gary - in attaching herself to such a project. However, faced with a lawsuit for burning down a property in order to save a group of people from a zombie attack, her monetary needs outweigh her moral objections.

    Fabian shines in her ability to create believable supporting characters. Each participant on the show has a distinctive personality full of their own idiosyncrasies and quirks. It is a difficult enough for an author to mold a strong, multi-faceted protagonist, but Fabian succeeds in bringing an extensive cast to life as authentic individuals, not cliched stereotypes. Fashioning scenes of dialogue with eight people requires a skilled writer, and Fabian delivers with clear, precise conversations. The reasons behind the recruits' personal motivations are given just enough background information to make their actions understandable for the reader. Standouts include shy - to the point of stammering - Spud and attention-seeking, publicity hound Roscoe.

    With zombie fever raging across America with the phenomenon of AMC's Walking Dead, lovers of the genre will certainly enjoy Fabian's spin on things. While staying true to the story's horror/sci-fi theme, she also introduces a great deal of humor into the narrative. For example, the zombism outbreak originated with the unpredictable nature of the 2009 swine flu vaccine. Since then bodies have been digging themselves out of the grave traumatizing the living, mostly by barging into their homes and monopolizing their TV sets. Fabian also introduces a love triangle for Neeta involving Ted, the cameraman and Brian, the big name Hollywood radio personality. Its resolution definitely leaves the door open to the possibility of a sequel.

    Overall, Neeta is to zombies what Buffy is to vampires.

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