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Chapter 1, Trick of the Trade
What methods will a man utilize to conceal his affair? And how many lies will he tell to maintain these sordid relationships? These trick, or games as women refer to them, have been the reasons behind many break-ups and divorces. It seems technology has made the game of cheating much simpler to play with the innovation of pagers, car phones, etc. But regardless of scientific advances, one simple fact remains, a man must forever keep his lies straight, because with one slip of the tongue, his world could come tumbling down around him.
Any successful hunt must begin with the selection of the ideal geographic location to find a particular animal. The cheating man understands this fact and has carefully considered where he will lay his insidious traps. The most commonly preferred places are the bars, night clubs, and lounges. These modern day meat markets provide the perfect stalking grounds for any man with the desire to "temporarily resign" from his existing relationship. Nowhere else can such an alluring combination of women, alcohol, and immorality be found under one roof. He feels right at home in this perverse jungle where cordial admiration is but visual assault, and the art of good conversation has been degenerated to nothing more than a prerequisite to sex.
Considering that those women who frequent these establishments are fully aware of the unsavory characteristics of night life, one might wonder, "why do the continually go back for more?" Well, men have formulated their own ideas. They believe these women are either desperately lonely, extremely bored, or simply hard up. Are they right? Most women would probably say no, but actions speak louder than words. Every weekend they pile inside over crowded clubs wearing tight skirts, heavy make up, and way too much perfume. Their piercing stares and suggestive body language declares, "Tonight is the night." There is no doubt many of these women, while not openly admitting it, are romantically entertaining thoughts of finding that special man, MR. Right. Unfortunately, this obscure fantasy plays right into the hands of the hunter who will most certainly use it as another weapon to get what he wants, uncommitted sex.
Some women do eventually wake up and realize the club is no place to meet a decent man. After years of putting up with the exhausting and childish games associated with night life, they grab their coats and purses vowing never to return. However, this rude awakening is of no concern to the hunter, who is confident that next week will bring countless others to take their places. They will be lined up halfway around the block in the cold and rain, desperately waiting to get into the club, like lambs being led to slaughter. And it is from amongst these unsuspecting creatures that the next "other woman" will be chosen. Who will it be, and why?
The attitude of many women is, " Men will lay down with anything with a heartbeat." That indictment may well be valid if the cheating man is only interested in a one night stand. However, if he intends on maintaining an ongoing affair, specific requirements must be met, one of which is Empathy. The other woman must be willing to accept his current relationship without "rocking the boat." Most cheating men, especially the married ones, will come right out and tell her the details of his situation. This will allow her to make a judgment as to whether or not she can go along with the program. Respect and consideration for his wife or girlfriend is absolutely necessary if the relationship has any chance at longevity. Sexual inhibition is another of these prerequisites. If the other woman won't allow him to be sexually adventurous, then what the hell does he need her for? He can be bored at home. Men have the idea in mind that when they find this other woman, she will be perfectly willing to do all those things he was too afraid or uncomfortable to ask from his wife or girlfriend. This includes doing the wild thing in raunchy places.
Loyalty is also an important attribute. The cheating man, despite his own infidelity, needs a woman whom he can trust not to "Run the Streets/" If he calls at 12:00 midnight on a Saturday night, she had better be there. He doesn't want to hear any nonsense about her going out with girlfriends. In his mind, she is his personal sex slave who must make herself available 24 hours a day. As the relationship develops, she is restricted from pursuing other intimate associations, and is expected to be completely loyal to him. Any breach of this unwritten contact will prompt him to terminate the affair and go hunting elsewhere. Women see this as extremely hypocritical since he himself is cheating.
Physical Beauty would have to be the least most important attribute. Don't get me wrong, I'm not implying that men who cheat are only interested in ugly women. What I am merely saying is, a women who is exceptionally attractive and terrible in bed is not all that valuable an asset to the cheating man. He would prefer a woman of moderate looks with a firm body who will screw his brains out on a consistent basis (understand my point?)
The process of choosing this qualified woman from out of the crowd is a complex one. As you well know, the night club is a very dense place. Therefore, the hunter must keep his eyes sharp, and position himself in the areas where his efforts can be maximized. Often you will notice him sitting at the bar, standing by the door, or looking down over the crowd from atop his perch. He wants to be the first to move in for the kill if a vulnerable woman should arrive, or should I say, a wounded animal? Once he spots his target, the chase is on. Armed with a fresh hair cut, splash of cologne, and hopefully a breath mint, he sets out on his lustful safari.
Just as the animal hunter relies on guns, traps, and camouflage to capture his prey, the cheating man depends on smooth talk, good looks, and the low morals of his victims to accomplish his goals. But determining whether a particular woman has the characteristics which will suit his purpose is not such an easy task in the night club environment. Loud music, incurable perpetrating, and the woman's nosy girlfriends make the process all the more difficult. This leaves him with little else to go on except a woman's attire. More precisely, what she's wearing and how she's wearing it. This is the first indication as to her level of availability, class, and morality. But due to the fact that short tight mini skirts are commonplace wherever you go, the perception is that most of the women in the club are dizzy, promiscuous whores looking for action.
This hasty assumption has been the cause of many heated verbal exchanges. The hunter, who is only out for sex, cannot or will not distinguish between the hoochies and the respectable women who are simply out for fun. From his perspective, the women wearing the revealing outfit which shows off her "tangible assets" is sending a specific message, "I am available and want to be approached." And then again, some men may perceive it as a invitation to touch, grasp and be disrespectful. There is no doubt many women expect these types of impulses since they go to such great lengths to expose so much of themselves. They are shamelessly sending a message regarding their availability, while adamantly demanding to be acknowledged. The hunter is merely reimbursing her for her troubles.
On the other hand, the woman who elects to dress conservatively is viewed as more ethical and self-assured. The message she sends is, "I'm confident enough in what I am wearing to attract a man who is about something." Some men also perceive her as more intelligent, trustworthy, and loyal. However, on more than a few occasions men have admitted to being fooled. The seductively dressed woman has been found to be very laid back. While the woman who was seemingly conservative turned out to be wild and loose, or as some would say. "A Super Freak." After making a thorough survey of his domain, the hunter will likely play the odds and pursue the woman dressed like a skeezzer. After all, he's not looking for a lifelong wife to take home to mama, only a part time whore to take home to bed.
Clearly, the night club is nothing more than a weekly production specifically designed for play, profit, and perpetrating. The music is loud, the drinks expensive, and everyone is dressed up in their Sunday Best. On this pretentious stage nothing is what is appears to be. When the doors open, the curtain goes up and it's show time. Unemployed men suddenly become corporate executives, and women on welfare masquerade as fashion models. With all the role playing and B.S. going on, it's no wonder why women perpetually complain about not being able to find a good man at the club. Hell, even a so-called good man will step out to briefly forget just how good he is. However, not all men seek their mistress and lovers at these "night spots." Most prefer surroundings that are most comfortable and familiar. A place where they can mix business with pleasure.......................
During my research, I found it rather interesting that whenever the subject of male infidelity was addressed, there was an apparent absence of anyone representing the attitude of today’s man. The usual assortment of angry female authors and sexually repressed suburban Ph.d’s were always in attendance, but who wants to hear those tired perspectives all over again? Not the frustrated woman of the 90’s, that’s for sure. She is sick and tired of pointless bickering and scientific theories. Just try explaining to any sane woman that the reason she found her husband in bed, buck naked, with her best friend was because of a problem he experienced as a child that has affected his ability to make a commitment. I would now suggest that you get the hell out of striking distance. The possibility of getting cursed out is also a very good bet. I’m not discounting the legitimacy of studies regarding infidelity, but the time has come for a more comprehensive and up to date point of view. One that is truly reflective of what really goes on behind closed doors and between the sheets.
Now let’s deal with the ever popular "Dog Theory" which contends that all men who cheat are dogs. This cliché has become the rallying cry for every woman who has ever been cheated on, lied to, knocked up, put out, or maybe simply wasn’t offered a seat on the bus. Although this may be a very catchy topic for the morning television talk shows, it doesn’t seriously address the problem. By submitting to the notion that "Boys will be boys" or as some women so eloquently put it, "Dogs will be dogs", you are only validating the irresponsible behavior of men. Don’t accept this conduct as a simple case of makes acting out their manhood. Men cheat for the same reasons that women, do they choose to.
Another reason why I explicitly discourage this type of language is because it is biased. It singles out the man and subjugates him to the status of animal, which innately puts women on a pedestal above men with regards to behavior and morals. But who are these accommodating creatures the so-called "Dogs" are cheating with? What about them? Does the term "She Dog" seem befitting? Men must unquestionably be accountable for their devious conduct, but simply calling them dogs does not speak to the many circumstances involving their infidelity. If you still insist your man is a dog, I suggest you get rid of him and find a real man. He may be more expensive to feed, but at least he won’t come home with fleas.
One of the distinct differences between this book and others which have dealt with this subject, is the inclusion of explicit details regarding how men cheat. How many times have you thought to yourself "If only I could read his mind." Well, how about the next best thing? Sitting in on a group of men engaged in a candid discussion about every intimate detail of their sordid affairs. Now, tell me that doesn’t make your mouth water? What I believe women will find most interesting is not the specific details of the information, but the degree of conceit which these men exhibited while sharing their so-called methods of cheating.
The ultimate question, however, is not if men will continue to play these games, but whether or not women will ever identify and confront their own ignorance and tolerance for allowing it to continue.
Let the games begin!
Posted June 14, 2005
First of all Ladies make sure you please God before you please us. God will never let you down if you abide by his rules. You play your own rules you will get burned. Let this book be a lesson on how men who are never satisfied are really longing for something deeper than sex but we just won't surrender to it. that is Our relationship with God. You want a man seek one after Gods on heart. Because a good man will treat and love his wife as Christ love the church. Also you have to let me be who they are and not change them. Learn to encourage them when they are doing positive things because their are good men out there but ladies some of yall focus to much on the bad ones instead of the good. Men aren't the only ones playing games. I am glad that sistah souljah brought that to light in NO DISRESPECT. Now not saying that I amking excuses but as men sometimes things are in our nature and I will testify for that that only God can help us with and if you sistahs want to help pray for us brothas that we open up a recognize and embrace our sexual nature but with understanding and patience. If we solve the problems of the brothas then 90% of the issues in our community will be solved. -peace
3 out of 4 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted November 16, 2005
This tell the stories on both sides of the fence. How men are sneeky and how easily men can get caught up. Also How some women are dumb enough to fall some of the bull that they pull out.Then on the other end, How women get fed up of lying men and they cheat themselves, or go to extreame lengths to catch them in the act.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted September 13, 2004
This book was good from beginning to the end. It was very informative and I could relate to a lot things that were talked about in the book. When I bought this book I was desperate for answers on why men cheat after being cheated on by my fiance. His excuse was 'I was being stupid'. That wasn't a valid excuse for me, so I took it upon my self to get a better excuse. This book has changed the way I see men. I felt more at ease knowing that if a man cheats its not always your fault and its just in their nature. The only disppointing thing about this book was that it left me with an impression that to men there is no such thing as unconditional love, all men cheat and they will always cheat...Even if their married. Overall I highly recommend this book if your looking for answers and to be fully prepared for the mind games they play.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted April 15, 2004
I read this book back in 1995. I still talk about it today, 9 years later. Thanks Michael for putting things out in the open. We women know when a man is cheating on us but we keep quiet because we don't want him to go away because we are to afraid of being by ourselves. We need to realize that we don't have to put up with a man's bull. We don't have to stoop low enough to cheat with married men either, when we do that, it says something about ourselves, we have some serious issues and need psychological help. Ladies, when God wants you to have a man, he will send the right one and the right one will not cheat on you. So if you are in a relationship and you know the man is cheating, don't degrade yourself let him go and don't think that there is something wrong with you either. The man has the issue and is trying to prove something to himself, and like Michael says - Some men are just are 'Never Satisfied'....Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted October 14, 2003
I FELL IN LOVE WITH THIS BOOK THE MOMENT I READ THE FIRST 3 PAGES!! MICHAEL BAISDEN IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE AUTHORS, AND HE MANAGED TO CAPTURE THE MALE EGO SUPERBLY!! A MUST HAVE!!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted August 28, 2003
I TOOK THIS BOOK FROM MY SISTER WHEN I WAS IN LIKE THE 7TH GRADE AND I COULDN'T PUT IT DOWN AND MICHAEL BAISDEN HAS BEEN ONE OF MY FAV AUTHORS EVER SINCE AND WOMEN SHOULD REAL THIS AND THE BROTHERS TOO JUST SO THEY CAN KNOW THAT CHEATING ISN'T ALL IT'S CRACKED UP TO BE!!!!!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted May 22, 2003
HE GAVE WOMEN SOME INSIGHT OF A MAN. SOMETHING A WOMAN ALREADY KNEW, BUT LET IT LIE IN THE BACK OF THEIR BRAINS. LADIES SEE THEIR MEN FOR WHAT THEY ARE,AND WHAT THEY DO. IF THE STUFF IS GOOD... A MAN CAN DOG YOU AND COME MAKE LOVE TO YOU AND IT'S ALL FORGOTTEN. TRUE MEN ARE NEVER SATIFED FOR WHAT THEY HAVE AT HOME. WE (LADIES) GIVE TOO MUCH TO PLEASE THEM. MY MOMMA ALWAYS SAY TREAT THEM BAD, THEY TREAT YOU GOOD. LADIES MEN CAN NOT BE HAPPY IF THEY DO NOT HAVE A WOMAN TO PLEASE HIM. HE SURE CAN NOT PLEASE HIMSELF AS WELL AS WE CAN.. IF YOUR STUFF IS GOOD TRUST ME HE WILL COME LEARN WHAT HE SHALL MISS.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted February 14, 2003
Michael Baisden has put all the secrets of the cheating man out in the open. He gave women all the knowledge we've been needing to peep the cheating man.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 14, 2003
Like most African-American males, fictional books normally don't hold my interests. I'm quick to put down books that involve philosophical relationships between men and women. However, this book is remarkable because it takes on a thesis like format that really makes it almost non-fictional. Michael really did some good research with this book. It is non-typical because it is not based on a female's emotional experiences, but rather an objective male point of view based on various male and female experiences. Michael hit this one on the nail. And it would be even wonderful to have a movie based on this book. "Two Can Play That Game" wouldn't touch a good scripted movie based on this book. I highly recommend it to everyone -- even males.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 20, 2003
When I first heard about this book, I really thought it was going to tell me something that I didn't know about the species we call MEN! Instead I just got a bunch of stories about men and their quests for sexual escapades. It wasn't what I expected at all.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 8, 2003
I already knew this book was going to be funny, but I didn't expect it to be hilarious! Honestly, I wouldn't think it was funny if I was one of these women...but I'm not...so I loved it! It was an entertaining read and brutally honest. Mr. Baisden deserves a pat on the back for telling it like it is. The story about Patrick was the best of them all!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted October 23, 2002
Posted July 31, 2002
I absolutley loved his first two books. When I bought this book and started reading, it didn't keep me focused like the other two books did. The format of this book was a little different than his other two books.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted April 21, 2002
All I have to say is this book is smokin,' it has flames coming from. The truth is written all over it. I'm glad somebody was willing to let us females know the reality from a man's point of view. I would definitely recommend every sex to read this book.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted May 10, 2002
I can't wait to read this book after finding out my husband is emailing and having lunch dates with a person he met on a train for 2 years and yea they both say she is involved with someone else...yea like my husband. Some people try to be good liars.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted September 27, 2001
i really liked all of your books they really had some good pointers in them. i read the maintance man long before i was out of high school and it had some good pointers in it also it tells the truth and only the truth i respect micheal for that he is real good authors he explains his characters word for word down to the (t) i really like that about him you are the best man....Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted August 16, 2001
For the first time a man has come out and revealed their secrets. All of the different stories describe a man that i have either run acrossed or been involved with throughout my entire life. It's a shame! I was able to look back over the years to see how I fell right into their traps and how I went along with their games. I love Michael Baisden for bring us women to the light! I am currently reading Men Cry in the Dark. It's so hard for me to put it down because it's sooo good. I MUST get Maintenance Man next!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted July 30, 2001
I just finished reading the book-Never Satisfied. WOW! I am a 29 year old woman in the U.S. Navy and the mother of 2. I was married for 9 years and we were together for 10 and I wish I had these books back then. They are truly well written and a must read for woman and men. It is amazing to me how many woman blame men for the way they are getting treated. Ladies, we need to take responsibility for lowering our standards just to say 'we have a man' but do you really? Thank you Michael and much success in every endeavor.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted April 15, 2001
This is a excellent book for both men and women to read. The helpful knowledge about men cheating really made me see the light and truly understand that men are just an totally diffrent from women. I want to thank Micheal Baisden for truly telling it like it is!!!!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted May 31, 2001