Read an Excerpt
Never Stop Holding Hands
AND OTHER MARRIAGE SURVIVAL TIPS
By SHARA GRYLLS, Charlie Mackesy
David C. CookCopyright © 2012 Shara Grylls
All rights reserved.
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
First—Tell each other you love each other several times each day.
Second—Make each other laugh. Seeing the funny side of things, and of each other, is the best "fuel" for a successful marriage.
Third—Always say to yourself, "How will my actions affect the other?" May God watch over you always.
Together, live each day like your last and each night like your first.
Never stop holding hands.
Keep a short account of wrongs.
The giving must always exceed the taking.
From this day forward, You shall not walk alone. My heart will be your shelter, And my arms will be your home.
* * *
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Be best friends.
There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage.
Send her flowers for no reason.
To the husband: Hug and squeeze her daily ... and if her daily won't go along with it, try the au pair!
Marriage is one plus one equals one.
Couples who pray together stay together.
We saw the process of achieving union as like two stones becoming one by grinding together, the hard bits of one wearing away the soft bits of the other, until at last the fit is perfect: one stone.
When you're right, be silent, and when you're wrong, admit it straightaway.
Be sure to tell one another how much you love each other at every opportunity—or rest assured, someone else will!
Always retain the ability to laugh at yourself.
A successful marriage depends on two things: (1) finding the right person, and (2) being the right person.
Be true to yourself and you cannot then be false to anyone.
Don't be afraid to show your weakness—vulnerability brings you close.
Marry only for love.
One has not gained a husband, and the other has not gained a wife, but both have gained lifelong mates.
Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them.
If two lie down together, they will keep warm.
For a good marriage, never lose sight of what brought you together in the first place.
Marriage is like life. What we give out, we get back.
Frequently listen to, appreciate, and touch each other.
Enjoy lots of sex.
Be considerate in all things.
Take lots of weekend breaks.
Don't spend the night in the spare bedroom.
Never sleep on a grievance.
Young lovers seek perfection. Old lovers learn the art of sewing shreds together and of seeing beauty in a multiplicity of patches.
—How to Make an American Quilt
An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
—A Witty Wife
Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter to the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there is no loneliness for you, for each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two persons, but there is one life before you. Go now to your dwelling place, to enter into the days of your togetherness. And may your days be good and long upon this earth.
—Apache Wedding Blessing
A honeymoon is the brief period of time between "I do" and "You'd better!"
Rule 1: Your wife is always right.
Rule 2: Even when she is wrong, refer to rule number one!
When two souls, which for a longer or a shorter time have sought each other amidst the crowd, at length find each other; when they perceive that they belong to each other; when, in short, they comprehend their affinity, then there is established between them a union, pure and ardent as themselves, a union begun upon earth in order that it may be completed in heaven.
This union is love; real and perfect love, such love as very few men can adequately conceive; love which is a religion, adoring the being beloved as a divinity; love that lives in devotion and ardor, and for which to make great sacrifices is the purest pleasure.
Love is not merely the indulgence of one's personal taste buds; it is also the delight in indulging another's.
A healthy marriage is like a healthy child—it looks up and outward to experience and enjoy all that is good and beautiful and to love and strengthen what is lonely and weak.
Don't wear anything in bed.
Get an answering machine.
Always keep a sense of humor.
Forget the word never—"You never do this or that."
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
THE MARRIAGE ALPHABET
Listen to each other.
It is the little things that make the big difference.
When you are apart, call lots to say how much you love her.
—Sir John Mills
Leave love notes whenever you go away.
All beautiful you are, my darling;there is no flaw in you.
Song of Solomon 4:7
RECIPE FOR A GOOD MARRIAGE
Half a cup of friendship and a cup of thoughtfulness, Creamed together with a pinch of powdered tenderness, Very lightly beaten in a bowl of loyalty, With a cup of faith and one of hope and one of charity.
Be sure to add a spoonful each of gaiety that sings, And also the ability to laugh at little things. Moisten with the sudden tears of heartfelt sympathy. Bake in a good-natured pan and serve repeatedly.
LAW OF LOVE
First, serve your God with heart, mind, and strength And then will grow love for others at length. Tend it and share it, at first, with each other. Then let it spill over each neighbor and brother in Christ, the family, mankind. Thus, freedom and purpose and blessings you'll find.
—The Reverend Ken Robinson
Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules; then you must forget the rules and play from the heart.
There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.
There is no remedy for love but to love more.
—Henry David Thoreau
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Be to her virtues very kind. Be to her faults a little blind.
Every day look for some small way to improve your marriage.
Just once—watch the sun rise together.
Make your anniversary the most memorable day of the year. Do something out of the ordinary.
Think of the other person before yourself.
As you love each other, grow in the love of God. As you give yourselves to each other, God gives Himself to you. As you share your lives together, God shares His life with you. As you grow in awareness of each other, grow in awareness of God. Let His love encircle your love; let His love fill your lives. Let Him bind you as one together and one with Him.
If you would be loved, love and be loveable.
Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
—Dr. James Dobson
Never walk out on an argument.
Don't underestimate the power of forgiveness.
Never forget your wedding anniversary.
Surprise your loved one with an unexpected present.
God is always with you; He will always love you; He will protect you, bless you, and perform miracles in your life together. Love Him together.
Treasure the love you receive above all. It will survive long after your gold and good health have vanished.
Put toothpaste on each other's toothbrush.
Fetch each other a cup of water in the night.
I'll love you, dear, I'll love you Till China and Africa meet, And the river jumps over the mountain And the salmon sing in the street, I'll love you till the ocean Is folded and hung up to dry And the seven stars go squawking Like geese about the sky.
—W. H. Auden
The need to surrender is one of the great paradoxes of love. Surrender may seem like giving up. Or giving in. But in reality we are strengthened when we actively choose to make ourselves vulnerable. We are empowered by sharing our deepest self with another person, offering him or her our heart, our soul, our life. Surrender is an act of free will. A sacred trust.
—Ellen Sue Stern
True love protects.
Don't allow the telephone to interrupt important moments.
Do not criticize your spouse in front of others.
Don't spread yourselves too thin; learn to say no.
Put the toilet seat down!
Love is like a butterfly. If you hold it too tightly, you kill it. If you hold it too lightly, you lose it.
He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.
If the grass is greener on the other side of the hill ... it's time to start watering your own!
Tolerance and wit will make for many happy years shared by two people who love each other.
One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day....
"It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time ... REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real, you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once ...?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real, you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
Turn off the television at suppertime.
Dance together ... even in the kitchen in your apron!
Share baths and alternate who sits by the taps.
[Love] is ... the joy of the good, the wonder of the wise, the amazement of the gods.
If music be the food of love, play on.
All you need is love.
The best marriage is perhaps the one where, under the love of God, each lays his or her life down for the other.
A house is made of walls and beams; a home is built with love and dreams.
—William Arthur Ward
True love and a hacking cough—both cannot be hid!
Look round our World; behold the chain of Love Combining all below and all above.
Help with the ironing, even if you make a mess of it.
Keep one night a week special, for just the two of you.
Say grace at mealtimes.
Compliment each other daily.
Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.
—Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
There is no greater happiness Than that of sharing life With all its joys and cares, As loving husband and wife.
Learn to compromise.
When asked to do the dishes in the matrimonial home, be sure to drop one or two of the most expensive plates, glasses, bowls. This should ensure that you are never asked for assistance in this area again. Note, however, if both parties are using the same tactic, this could be expensive!
Tying the knot, As Jagger forgot, And Henry VIII didn't know, Keeps things aboveboard, Lets the world know you've scored, A girl that you'll never let go.
Marriage is like glass. The more you work at it—the more precious it becomes.
Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be.
In the opinion of the world, marriage ends all, as it does in a comedy. The truth is precisely the opposite: It begins all.
—Anne Sophie Swetchine
Excerpted from Never Stop Holding Hands by SHARA GRYLLS, Charlie Mackesy. Copyright © 2012 Shara Grylls. Excerpted by permission of David C. Cook.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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