Read an Excerpt
Never Throw Rice at a Pisces
Using Astrology to Plan Your Big Day
For as long as humans have been on the planet, they have been looking up to the heavens for guidance, using the movement of the stars to plan events and peek into the future. This same search for guidance continues even today. You hold right now the ideal wedding planning guide for your modern life, but before we take off on our wedding journey through the stars, here's a one-minute history of the science and lore of nature's own planning software in the sky.
Astrology: A Really Brief History
Astrology has been around for a very, very long time. The earliest known astrological artifacts date back to 20,000 to 15,000 B.C. Simple charts of the sun and moon were used to determine the planting and harvest seasons.
Later practiced in temples in ancient Babylon and Egypt, astrology became infused with religious symbolism and an amazing amount of superstition (every eclipse was a bad omen waiting to happen).
The planets were worshipped as gods by the Greek and Roman civilizations between 900 and 300 B.C., and elaborate myths were created to explain the heavenly bodies as they flirted and chased one another around the sky. Life, death, war, riches, famine--the astrology of the time was one part mathematics, one part soap opera.
Over eons of observation, these ancient civilizations created a system to convey the passage of time. It was the Babylonians who set up the 360-degree horoscope wheel based on the movements of the sun, with the twelve different pieces of pie we call astrology signs that we still use today. By attributing various personality traits to the movement of the stars, not only did they create a calendar, but they created the modern study of astrology--four thousand years ago!
In other societies, the astrologers began monthly cycles at the appearance of the new moon (that tiniest sliver of light we see when the rest of the moon is in shadow). This is how the Chinese, Hindu, Hebrew, and Arabic calendars still count time today.
Eventually they figured out that the twenty-eight-day cycles of the moon and the 365-degree cycle of the sun don't fit into a neat little sum and they were left with a few extra days to play with when the sun came back around for its next run. Some of these civilizations devised interesting ways to fix the problem, others just left it. By adding even more myths to their history, they were able to introduce a whole month every so often or an extra handful of days to the end of their lunar year to make up the difference.
The astrology of ancient Egypt, Greece, and Rome, based on the movements of the sun, wasn't a perfect fit either. Let enough years go by at 360 days and the seasons fall out of harmony. The drama of our modern calendar begins in 45 B.C. when Julius Caesar's astrologer cleared up the muckety-muck and created a leap year every four years--which worked well until after his death when the Romans minding the store inserted a few too many extra days. It was Pope Gregory who eventually skipped eleven days in 1582 just so that, 106 leap years later, you could get to the church on time!
With no Internet and no calendar police to enforce the pope's decree, it took a few centuries before everyone got on board with the modern calendar. Set up to parallel the tropical year (the length of time it takes for the earth to cycle around the sun), the Gregorian calendar's calculations are so precise that almost 500 years later it can be accuratelyused by modern astrologers and laymen alike to reveal character traits, predict key events, and express the passage of time.
A Little Astrology Goes a Long Way
Nowadays we don't have to get our horoscope fix from studying the sky, we just turn on our computer and the daily 'scopes are waiting for our consumption. The end product is wildly fascinating and oddly accurate--but how?
The elaborate picture of the heavens at the moment of your birth depicts the astrological makeup of who you are. The location of the sun, moon, and the planets, the constellation rising on the eastern horizon, all came together to create the totally unique person you are today.
The relationships of the planets at that one moment creates a truly once-upon-a-time scenario. The force that creates high tides is the same push-pull that acts among planets to bring forth the different aspects of your personality that we see in your chart; your greatest gifts just waiting to shine through in your life.
The number one personality indicator, your Sun sign, is the constellation the sun was passing at the time you were born--your special thirty-degree section of the sky. The Sun sign is the most important aspect of your chart, and that's the one we'll be focusing on in this book.
If you look at a zodiac wheel, you see that each of the twelve signs corresponds to one of the twelve pie slices--or houses as they are traditionally called--each signifying the twelve different aspects of life we experience on our journey. From our individual personalities to our home life to our relationships and career, it's all there on the wheel. What Sun sign you were born under and what house it rules tells you a lot about what's important to you.
Below is a quick journey through all the signs, their natural houses, and their approximate dates on the calendar. Most of us follow thesun's movement by counting days but astrologers go by degrees. The following dates for each sign are the most common, but occasionally the calendar can be off by as much as a day or two in some years compared to the sign's actual degree. If you are born on or close to the first or last dates in a sign, find a free online astrology site and plug in your birth information just to make sure you are reading the right 'scopes. I've seen a fair share of surprised clients and friends who had thought they were born at the end of one sign only to find out they were born in the early degrees of another.
Sun Signs: A Tour of the Zodiac
Before Julius Caesar came along and decreed January first the beginning of a new year, there were a few different acceptable days to celebrate that event, including the popular spring equinox. That's why the beginning of the zodiac's new year is the birth of spring on March 21, making Aries the first sign.
MARCH 21 - APRIL 19
Birthing new energy for all the zodiac, the Ram says, "I am!"
Our journey around the wheel begins with birth and the first house of self and personality. Aries gals always explode onto the scene, expressing themselves, sharing their ideas, their tastes, and their style with an innate sense of urgency.
APRIL 20 - MAY 20
Claiming a piece of the world, the Bull says, "I have."
The next stop on life's road is the second house of money and possessions, where Taurus rules the roost.Taureans work hard in order to ensure the stability of their life, their friends, family, their homes, and their cherished collections.
MAY 21 - JUNE 20
Learning and discerning, the Twins affirm, "I think."
The Twins are at home in the third house, which is the house of communications. They are master talkers (writers, readers, and thinkers). They always seem to know everything and have a very charming manner. Indeed, Geminis win admirers simply with words.
JUNE 21 - JULY 22
Exploring new emotions, the Crab's mantra is, "I feel."
Crabs rule the fourth slice of heaven, home life. Cancers love to create their own private hideaways. They decorate, garden, and throw intimate dinner parties for those they let into their inner circle. Get inside their shell and you'll find they are the most tender friend and fiancée.
JULY 23 - AUGUST 22
Commanding center stage, the Lion sings, "I will!"
Leos are born to rule in the fifth house of creativity, sex, romance, fun, and children. The Lion has a larger-than-life attitude, always surrounded by a whirlwind of drama and fun. Natural attention-grabbers, they are born entertainers and presidents of the zodiac.
AUGUST 23 - SEPTEMBER 22
Working hard on self-improvement, the Virgin states, "I analyze."
The sixth house of work, service to others, pets, and health belongs to the security-minded Virgo. This house lies in early fall and the sign is aptly named for the virgin harvest. Virgos love to help others. Whether a friend, coworker, or fiancée, they've got inexhaustible energy for you, and in return they love to feel needed and appreciated.
SEPTEMBER 23 - OCTOBER 22
Seeking harmony, fairness, and order, the Scales say, "I balance."
The next step on the journey of life: The house of partnerships. Libra loves a good pairing; romantic, friendship, or work-related. The scales of justice naturally experience life in graceful, fair balance. This sign is all about beauty, elegance, and cooperation.
OCTOBER 23 - NOVEMBER 21
To fulfill destiny, the Scorpion cries, "I desire!"
This intense creature is at home in the eighth house of other people's money, taxes, death, and transformation. They love to delve into the mysteries of life and will stop at nothing to understand the subtle forces at work in our lives.
NOVEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 21
Exploring new concepts, the Archer says, "I see."
As we make our way around the wheel to the houseopposite of Gemini, communication, we see Sagittarius and the ninth house of higher education, law, religion, and foreign cultures. The Archer loves learning, traveling, and understanding human nature.
DECEMBER 22 - JANUARY 19
Ingeniously striving to become the best, the Goat declares, "I use."
Next we visit the driven Goat and the tenth house of fame, career, and success. Capricorns love to work hard to achieve positions of power. While Leos like to be admired for their charm, Capricorns prefer to win kudos for their efforts and abilities.
JANUARY 20 - FEBRUARY 18
Determined to improve the issues of the world, the Water Bearer's motto is, "I know."
Aquarius rules the eleventh house of friendships, group activities, and secret wishes. Aquarians express themselves best by working toward a common goal with like-minded (and offbeat) people. Their lofty ideals always have a humanitarian bent!
FEBRUARY 19 - MARCH 20
Using intuition and self awareness, the Fish echoes, "I believe."
The twelfth house, where Pisces resides, is the place where the mystical meets the mind. Some say that Pisces, in the last house, is a sign that encompasses a little bit of every sign that came before it. No wonder Pisces is the queen of intuition, deep-seated feelings, and dreamy romance.
Our trek through the stars is just beginning. Now that you understand how the different signs interact with one another on the journey through life, we can move on to the naturally forming groups within the circle.
Here is where it gets interesting. Yes, we understand our individual signs, but astrology is more complicated than twelve signs running loose around a wheel.
The ancient astrologers who set up the system noticed that certain signs around the zodiac related to one another in special ways, creating different groupings of three and four kindred spirits--or in our case, bands of brides! Understanding your Sun sign is one thing, but knowing how it relates to other signs takes your planning skills to a whole new level.
Let's take a look at the most well known of these groupings first, the four elements, then we'll uncover the little known, but very important groupings of qualities.
The Marriage Generation: From October 1971 to October 1983
If you were born between the fall of 1971 and the fall of 1983, when Pluto was traveling through Libra, the sign of marriage, then you have an innate need to settle into a committed relationship early in your life. You are built for marriage. People born under this aspect like their partnerships to be superharmonious, balanced, and fair. They naturally think in pairs and know they are more powerful working as part of a team.
Taking responsibility for the welfare of your partner is second nature, as is your understanding of human justice. You dislike it when things are unfair or unbalanced--whether it's an in-law taking advantage of you or a natural disaster halfway around the world. You have a strong need to correct inequitable situations; diplomatically, of course. Together, as a generation, you can change the course of history, demanding fairness and equality in all relationships--partners, friends, and nations.
The Four Personality Types: Nature's Organization System
The most well-known division of the horoscope is the four personality types, named after the four elements of nature that relate to the individual temperaments. The four elements are the natural characteristics shared by groups of three signs, making them cousins and soul sisters.
Fire signs start the chart by being the leaders and hams of the zodiac. Their warmth and glow attracts people, guaranteeing them a spot at center stage. Earth signs follow by being the practical managers, born with the uncanny ability to use their resources to pull off anything they set their minds to. Air signs are focused on the intellect; they love to learn, to know. As astrology's social butterflies, they thrive on their interactions with others. Lastly we come to the Water signs, whose primary motivations are their feelings and intuition, which can run as deep as an ocean, as calm as a lake, or as turbulent as Niagara Falls.
Take a look at the following chart--are you in your element?
FIRE: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius EARTH: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn AIR: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius WATER: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces
Fire sign brides have all the energy in the world to plan their big event; they want to take advantage of every opportunity to party, and include all their friends and family in the mix--they like a large group of admirers! An Aries does best coming up with the ideas and passing the details to a wedding coordinator. Leos like the best of everything and have a supernatural power to get their way. Then there's the Sags, who love the fun, but like their freedom so much that it may be hard for them to commit to a huge wedding, perhaps choosing an offbeat adventure instead.
Earth sign brides are made for planning and organizing big events, using their ingenuity to work around budgets and set backs. Taureans, ruled by Venus, are more likely to choose a quiet, outdoor springtimeaffair than a big showy shindig. Virgo likes perfection from start to finish--she's the one with the latest planning software and notebooks full of checklists. Capricorns, on the other hand, are the most outward-focused of the Earth signs. They like every public event to reveal their ambitious, traditional nature. Leave it to the Goat to choose brunch at Tavern on the Green for their bridal shower.
Air sign brides love to learn all the facts, compare them, and make judgments. They are going to make sure they've seen every interesting location before choosing their venue and will interview every florist, looking for that perfect nuance and style. Geminis are the trendsetters, look to the Twins for an eclectic mix of vintage, modern, and funky styles. Libra, ruled by Venus, is all about beauty, elegance, and tradition from the invitations to the desserts, everything has to be aesthetically just so. And then there's independent Aquarius, who likes to buck trend and tradition and just make one big statement. You'll definitely know what's important to an Aquarius on her big day.
Finally we have the Water signs, full of sentimentality and compassion. Whether it's big or small, they want their weddings to ooze with the sense of love and romance. Cancer, the most down-to-earth of the three, wants a gazebo by a lake with every friend they've ever loved on hand for the occasion. The mystical Pisces desires the ultimate fairy-tale affair--from the horse-drawn carriage to the glass slippers. And Scorpio will make sure the day is infused with a humanitarian bent--donating the leftovers to a homeless shelter and recycling the decorations.
You will learn to use the natural power of your element more in chapter 2 when you discover how to be the bride you are born to be, but for now let's move on to our next astro-secret revealed, the three qualities.
The Marriage Revolution: From November 1968 to November 1974
If you were born between the end of 1968 and the end of 1974, then it's an innate part of your nature to transform the institution ofmarriage. These are the years that Uranus, the mighty planet of reform, passed though Libra, the sign of partnerships, and changed tying-the-knot forever.
Marriage is more than just a commitment when Uranus comes to town; it's a way of being, an otherworldly expression of all that is. Soul mates and nonconformists, there is nothing traditional about how you approach wedlock. You need a lot of freedom to explore new ways of doing everything matrimonial. From the ceremony to your parenting techniques, it's all about expressing your values and ideals--and if that means scrapping the establishment in the process, well then, buh-bye.
This need to upgrade the system goes beyond your own marriage. With deep insight into human nature, you are passionate about all of us working to create fair and honest interactions. It's the spirit behind the laws of marriage that matters most to you, a generation of innovators, re-creating partnerships better suited to our modern world.
The Three Qualities: Your Modus Operandi
Everyone knows their Sun sign these days, and most people know their element--but do you know your quality type? Just as the elements are four groups of three signs each, qualities are three groups of four--one of each element to be exact.
Your Sun sign and element determine your style, but your quality determines the way you operate in the world. Why is this important to know when you are planning a wedding? Because your quality tells you a lot about how you focus your energies, interact with people, and deal with obstacles, last-minute issues, and emergencies. Hello--wedding?
The three qualities are Cardinal, Fixed, and Mutable. Cardinal signs are self-starters, they have an active way of moving through life and engaging with others. They take each situation into account, listening to others before they make up their mind; always knowing the appropriate actions to take for any circumstance.
The meanings of Fixed and Mutable are exactly as they sound. People with a Fixed quality are stubborn. They have a lot of force, drive, and will. It's not always about getting what they want (not always!) but they are not going to give in easily unless they feel like they are getting something in return. Mutable signs, on the other hand, are flexible gymnasts. They compromise well and can easily handle any challenging situation with grace. All this adaptability can be hard for firm decision making--and if they don't watch out, their dreams and wishes might get lost in all the bargaining.
Get ready for your first big aha moment. Now that you know all about the secret of qualities, which category do you fit into?
CARDINAL: Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn FIXED: Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius MUTABLE: Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces
Let's look into these a little further. Cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn) take a hands-on approach to everything they do; they love putting ideas into action and trying new things along the way. An Aries, with her Fire action, is always going to have more energy than her Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn Cardinal sisters, but their initiative and take-charge attitude is the same. As a bride, these signs have bold, creative ideas and want to mix it up along the way, asking tough questions, listening to the experts, and looking for win-win solutions, all while not losing sight of the finish line.
The difference is in the sign. Fiery Aries may have too many great ideas and need to focus on one task at a time. A Cancer will always get the best results when she feels safe--lest she get moody and clam up. The Libra wants elegance and will have no problem being gracefully assertive in order to achieve her goals, and a Capricorn brings her ambitious nature to the job, "Whatever I have to do to get the job done," is her mantra.
The one thing the Cardinal signs can keep in mind is setting good boundaries. Each sign has their tipping point, that one moment theywant to hide, run, or tune out. When you've had enough with the busywork, walk away. Stop doing wedding planning when it stops being fun and do something to nurture yourself instead.
Elements: The Secret Ingredient in Your Bridal Party
Friendships aren't random affairs in astrology. Fire and Air signs have a natural affinity for each other, as do Earth and Water. It's logical when you think about it, air fans a fire, and water nourishes the earth. But they don't quite work the other way around, earth gets scorched by fire, water puts it out, and air doesn't do much for either earth or water.
Take a moment to think of all your friends' birthdays; you'll probably find that most of them fit into the same element as you or its partner affinity. If you know your Rising sign or your friend's Rising sign (that's the constellation on the eastern horizon at the time of birth which we'll discuss in detail later in the chapter), compare those as well. Don't be surprised to find out that those signs make a neat fit, too!
Fixed signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, and Aquarius) are the immovable objects of the zodiac. They have a vision and they must see it through to reality. They have no desire to make it easy on their vendor-partners. To these strong brides where there's a will, there's a way. They are great at inspiring others to come into their corner, but they can appear a bit domineering on a bad day. Don't ever say, "Just trust me," to a Fixed sign bride, they might not want to do your job themselves, but they'll definitely be making sure you're doing it according to their high standards!
In this category, power rules. Leo, queen of the jungle, uses her warm and generous nature to ensure the assistance of her loyal followers. Taurus girls have a down-to-earth, friendly vibe that disarms but doesn't back down. Watery Scorpio almost hypnotizes others into submission,while the Aquarius comes up with a million reasons why her way is actually the best, most effective, and humanitarian.
They do share one thing in common, though: If they feel disrespected, they will dig in their heels and not give an inch! It's wonderful to be so focused, but sometimes it really is in a Fixed sign's best interest to listen and compromise. In this business, it may save you time and money to find win-win solutions (not to mention avoid some potential bridezilla-style clashes!).
The Mutable signs (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces), are the easygoing, nonconfrontational-types. They are open-minded, easily swayed, and tend to shy away from absolutes--unlike their Fixed counterparts, they never need anything to be exactly the way they see it or else. When it comes to a wedding, they can use this flexibility to their advantage. After listening to all their options, they can easily let go of ideas that aren't working or are too expensive, and make different choices without compromising their ideals.
Because Virgos are born to organize, this sign is the most driven of the four. Staying busy with little projects and keeping on top of vendors is fun for this sign. The Gemini does a lot of talking as she tries to figure out the best way to go, charming her vendors into good deals along the way. Sagittarius gals are so busy planning their hip-hop-around-the-globe honeymoon that they might just let someone else take care of the wedding details. Then there's the Pisces princess, who wants the most sentimental day--yet won't even be able to choose the color of the tablecloths without consulting her friends and family.
Mutables need to make sure there is someone on their side who completely understands them--a best friend, fiancé, or wedding coordinator. Someone who can be their gatekeeper when things get nuts and can help them make the choices that truly reflect their innermost desires.
Whether you are Cardinal, Fixed, or Mutable, now you understand why you behave the way you do--it's in your nature! When you start visiting bridal salons and asking the serious questions, you'll now be able to use your quality to your advantage!
As you can see, your individual sign, element, and quality all add up to make a very unique astrological combination. Brides with the same Sun sign aren't automatically going to choose the same flowers. Not everyone in the same element is going to respond to their mother-in-law the same way, and not everyone in the same quality is going to choose the same main course for dinner. Before we move on to uncovering even more secrets for each sign, let's first discover the secret to using astrology to choose the perfect date for your wedding.
Using Your Rising and Moon Signs: Astrology 2.0
These days there are a lot of astrologically savvy brides out there, so let's push the envelope a bit. Your Rising sign, the thirty-degree chunk of stars that was rising on the eastern horizon at the time of your birth, is a major factor in who you are, as is the sign the moon was in when you took your first breath. Your Rising sign determines your outward personality, the first impressions people get when they meet you, and your Moon sign determines how you feel and express your emotions.
Your Sun sign has the starring role, with your Rising and Moon following closely behind as supporting cast members. Mixed together, your Sun, Moon, and Rising signs are a more accurate account of who you are, inside and out--thinking, feeling, and expressing.
These tidbits of helpful information once were available only to people willing to shell out the big bucks to visit a pro, but these days it's easy to find out your Rising and Moon signs and to incorporate that knowledge into your daily planning. Simply find one of the many free astrology sites available on the Internet and plug in your date, time, and place of birth. Within seconds you will uncover the secrets of your astrological chart.
If this sounds like something you are interested in learning more about, you can visit my Web site for a current list of free astrology sites on the Internet where your time, date, and place of birth will reveal your Moon and Rising signs in a jiffy. Visit staceywolf.com and just click on "my books."
Of course, you don't need to know either of these pieces of information to read this book and have it be accurate for you. They're just another tier on the wedding cake. If you do know, then you can work your way through the chapters and discover how these signs play their own parts in creating the celebration of your dreams! If not, just keep applying all the sections of your Sun sign to the different aspects of your special day.
Planning by the Stars: Choosing the Perfect Wedding Day
Astrology isn't just about understanding your personality. People have been using astrology to plan and predict key events for longer than any of us have been breathing. Astrologers use many tools to map out the best and worst days for their clients, but you can use a simplified version to plan your wedding date, bridal shower--even the groom's bachelor party.
The Moon sign of any given day tells us a lot about how people will feel and interact, what type of ceremony will inspire them, and what kind of mood they'll be in at the party. It is also what connects you as a couple emotionally, so the Moon sign on your wedding day will cement how you will feel in your marriage and how you express those feelings for the rest of your lives.
Since the moon moves around our planet very fast, changing signs every two to three days, it's impossible to know what sign the moon is in by just looking at a standard calendar. But right now I'll teach you a little secret about how you can quickly find out what sign the moon is in for any day on your short list.
All you have to do is find one of those wonderful astrology Web sites I mentioned earlier and plug in all the dates, times, even potential locations you are considering for your wedding, as if you are creating a birth chart for the first day of your marriage. Identify the Moon sign foreach day and skip the rest. (If you are really serious about this, you can even buy a special calendar with the Moon signs already printed on it.)
Realistically, there are lots of things to consider when setting a date. Modern brides are juggling their choice of seasons, the availability of the reception hall, even other family events. I know it's not so easy to choose a day based solely on the stars, but this is a great opportunity to set some priorities, do some juggling, and come up with a day for the perfect party that will also serve your emotional sides. Here's how.
First, read the chart on page 22. Decide what qualities are most important to you and your fiancé, as well as what qualities conflict with your ideal marriage.
At this point, knowing your own Moon sign can be helpful. When you get married, you become an emotional mix of you and your groom's Moon signs and the Moon sign of your marriage. You may want to explore a Moon sign that will give you both individually and as a couple some qualities you might feel you have been missing from birth. If you are full of fun and flighty Air signs, you might look into choosing an Earth sign for stability or a Water sign for more emotional connection. On the other hand, if you both have down-to-earth Moon signs, you may wish to choose one that brings you a little spontaneity, travel, and fun.
Write a list of all the potential dates and their Moon signs. Take the time to read about each sign in depth and separate them into two categories--a yes group and a no group. There are no rules here; you may be attracted to more than just one Moon sign and that's fine. It just gives you more choices to work with.
Put the perfect I-do dates in an order that feels right to you and begin to work with that list in your planning. Block the no-no dates off in your calendar and pass on them no matter what.
You ultimately want to choose a day whose Moon sign best enhances your emotional nature as a couple--or, when everything is taken into consideration, one that doesn't conflict with who you are just because the venue is available. You'll be creating the perfect mood for your special day and a solid foundation for a successful, healthy marriage.
Now that you've got a feel for each sign, let's look into these Moon signs more deeply before you make your ultimate choice. Aries Moons are wild fun with big expressions of emotion. If you are looking for a lifetime of spontaneity, this sign may be perfect. On the other hand, when emotions run hot there can be some minor explosions in your house. That's not as bad as it sounds, because once the eruptions are over, they are quickly forgotten.
Aries is a good sign to choose if you are a reserved couple looking to come out of your shell. Although you might want to skip it if you're already mixing it up and you're not even married yet!
As far as the day of the wedding goes, choose an Aries Moon and you will have a great, spontaneous party. Guests will dance all night, there will be many outward gestures of emotion, but people can also get a little headstrong at times and won't be into sitting for a long-winded, mystical ceremony. If you've already got a fun family bordering on the nutty, you won't be able to count on them being on their best behavior. Buyer beware!
Taurus Moons are one of the classic choices for couples wishing to create a large home and family. This is a very fertile moon--you will have many kids and work hard to have a sizable, stable home filled with nice things. This Earth sign moon is rich in warmth, love, and thoughtfulness. If you like to have growing collections around your home, whether it be sentimental photos or plates from different nations, this is the moon for you. Your sweetie will bring you little presents often and take you out for nice meals.
On the flip side, you might have a hard time letting go of your issues, and this moon can make for an obstinate pairing. This moon spends a lot of time at home. If you need some stability this is terrific, if you like travel and adventure or enjoy a big social scene, skip this moon; you may be a little bored.
Choose a Taurus Moon if you want a traditional wedding; a church ceremony, and a classic reception. The day of a Taurus Moon will be filled with lots of quiet, sentimental moments; the groom hugging the best man, the bride's dance with her father. But no one can be rushed on a Taurus Moon, so try to keep things as simple as possible and don't stick to a rigid schedule. You may also find your guests more stubborn than usual, if Aunt Mary isn't seated next to Aunt Bea, she may just move someone out of the place next to her no matter what you planned.
It's all about communication under a Gemini Moon. If you'd love to laugh and chat with your best buddy for the rest of your life, and have the freedom to mix it up about everything from world news to family gossip, then this is your match. You're more likely to analyze your feelings than argue about them, and want things to blow over as quickly as possible. This is a light and airy moon, which can bring levity to an intense couple, but may not be enough to hold a lightweight pairing together. If you need sweeping, dramatic expressions of love and tons of hugs and kisses, you might be left hungry by a Gemini Moon.
Everyone will be a little spacey the day of a Gemini Moon wedding. Make sure you've gone over every detail with your vendor a million times because chances are, something is going to get left undone and a last-minute scramble will ensue. Guests of honor will give greatspeeches, but don't hold them to a heavy-duty ceremony; no one is going to have a particularly long attention span--not even you. You'll be in the mood to say a quick "I do," and then party, laugh, and mingle with your guests all night long!
Next on the list is the Cancer Moon. The marriage of a Cancer Moon couple is sweet and sentimental. If you desire a strong emotional bond and large close-knit family, this is the best moon to choose. Cancer Moons create a home that is a loving, romantic sanctuary to escape the business of the world and farther down the road will be doting parents to boot. They enjoy their privacy and express themselves best in small groups.
If you like your independence, you're not going to get very far inside Cancer's emotional grip. Although if you like going on adventures as a couple (and one day a family), then Cancer is the sensitive home you've been looking for. If deep, emotional conversations turn you off, run for the hills.
A Cancer Moon is perfect for a small, heartfelt wedding, maybe at home or in a beautiful yard by a lake. Guests will be loving and affectionate, enjoying the quiet beauty of the day. With this Water sign Moon you are free to write the sappiest vows you can and express yourself in the most tender of ways, just don't expect everyone to crowd onto the dance floor and do a jig. And if you try to take on too much, your nerves can get the best of you. Looking for an exciting wedding? Pass this one over.
If creativity and self-expression are on top of your list, then you're a perfect fit for a Leo Moon. Leo Moon couples have a regal air about them, always walking with a little dramatic flair. They like things grand, going to expensive restaurants and shopping at luxury stores. Warmth, joy, and optimism abound with a Leo Moon. If you like large-scale romance and spontaneous affection, you may have found your match.
The downside: With two healthy egos, who is going to back down in a fight? If you're both a bit hotheaded, this sign may put you over the top. If you're on the introverted side, this Fire sign will bring more power to you.
If you want your wedding to be the best party you've ever been to, then Leo is the obvious choice for the day. Guests will enter a theater where you create a show full of sweeping romance and drama. They will dance, drink, eat, and have the time of their lives! Again the ego issues can arise; how many peacocks showing off their feathers would you like hanging around on your special day?
Next up is Virgo Moon, a tough sell for most couples. Virgo's detailed energy in a marriage can make for a nitpicky pair. It's good if you have a working partnership, own a business together, and maybe even want to conquer the world, but in most relationships a Virgo Moon can make for two people who are too cautious to really express themselves. However, if you've won a long, hard battle to be together, done a tremendous amount of healing together, and are dedicated to the service of humanity, then this is your special moon.
Not only is a Virgo Moon hard on most marriages, it isn't so great for the day of the wedding, either. Your guests will be examining the smallest details for imperfections in the plan--and do you really care how the napkins are folded? Instead of going with the flow and enjoying the day, you'll be too busy thinking of all the things that have already gone wrong. Unless you are a very mature couple, my suggestion is, don't play with fire.
Thankfully, we now come upon the gracious Libra Moon. Since Libra is the sign of marriage, any couple married under this moon will be blessed with a deep appreciation for love and beauty. If you like being half of a pair, and like everything you do to be beautiful and elegant, then this is your choice. Being diplomatic and tactful is of the utmost importance to a Libra Moon pairing; to them even just arguing borders on vulgar.
If you like to express yourself with passion and have a strong need to share your emotions, then you will feel quite frustrated by this moon. If you want to have children, be aware that they will always come second to you and your partner in this relationship, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but something you should know.
The day the moon is in Libra is every astrologer's dream of perfection. The wedding will be absolutely breathtaking. The food will begraciously prepared; the music elegant; the guests well dressed. Everyone will get along better than you ever thought they could. If a beautiful wedding is all you've ever wanted, then you can't ask for a better day. Now, if you can't wait to gush over your groom, don't expect everyone else to be overtaken by emotions and sentiments. There will be no crying at this affair, for that might seem a bit impolite.
Moving on to the mysterious Scorpio Moon. If romance, sex, and children are on top of your list, if you are passionate about your ideas and values, and enjoy expressing them to your significant other, and if you take commitment very seriously, then marry under a Scorpio Moon. This is a juicy, intense sign that demands a lot and is very rewarding.
The negatives? Scorpio Moons are prone to jealousy and guard their privacy intently. There may be no independence and freedom to speak of unless you both have plenty of that built-in to your charts already. If the idea of being possessed by your love for each other scares the pants off of you, you'd be smart to pass.
Do not plan for a big wedding on a day that Scorpio rules, you'll wake up in the morning and feel as if you want to hide under a rock. But it's a perfect day to choose when you wish to have a meaningful, spiritual ceremony in front of those you care most deeply about. People will be inspired by your vision and grateful for your love in their lives. Make sure you don't invite any exes, as the smallest thing can cause a huge amount of tension.
On to the Sagittarius Moon. As a couple, if you love personal freedom, enjoy traveling, and learning about foreign cultures, a Sag Moon is it for you. Sag Moons marry their best friend and lover and live life as one big exploration. They dislike being tied down by big extended families and being overloaded with obligations. Sag Moon couples work hard to liberate themselves from tradition, preferring instead to redefine marriage in a way that best works for them.
Choose this moon and you have to be ready to embrace the unconventional; even raising your children will have a progressive flavor. How deep do you want your love to grow? You may find your need forfreedom getting in the way of settling down into a solid, emotionally stable relationship. If feeling unsafe is an issue you have now, it may just get magnified under this moon.
Are you thinking about having a destination wedding? A Sagittarius Moon may create the perfect wedding day for you. All your guests will be open-minded and up for anything, just keep the ceremony short or their attention may wander. There will be a playful quality to the day for all to enjoy. If you plan to have many children involved in your wedding, everyone will delight in the laughing, crying, and fun spontaneous behavior they bring to their roles.
Moving along to Capricorn. If you value tradition above all else, this Earth sign Moon may interest you. Capricorn couples enjoy working together to create a safe, secure home. If life's been rocky for you in the past and you wish to build a new foundation, or have mutual ambitions to create a dynasty rather than a mere marriage, then a Capricorn Moon will bring you solid support.
On the flip side, this coupling isn't known for spontaneity and fun, as it will always be tempered by the considerable responsibilities you both enjoy taking on. And if you both like to wear the pants in the relationship, you could turn into a pair of control freaks under a Capricorn Moon.
A Capricorn Moon is perfect for a big wedding in a church or synagogue followed by a classic reception, one where you've taken your time planning all the details to perfection. Your guests will be well dressed, well behaved, and enjoy all the traditions your special day has to offer. On the other hand, forgive the key players--your parents, bridal party, even your wedding coordinator--if they get controlling under the pressure. Everyone's different ideas of perfection can dampen the emotion and enthusiasm.
Next up, Aquarius Moon. If your ideal partnership includes being leaders in the community, then this Air sign Moon is the right choice for you. Couples with Aquarius Moons are aware of their place on the planet, they love their large group of friends and family, and keenly understand that you are not just marrying each other, but are marryingtwo families as well. This is a wonderful choice for a second marriage where there are stepchildren, as there is plenty of room for everyone to grow into their new roles.
This large community can come at the expense of a traditional intimate marriage. If you want to create your own private Idaho where you and your significant other can live in relative peace, unencumbered by the world, then think twice about choosing Aquarius as your moon.
This is such a big sign that on the day of an Aquarius Moon wedding, as with the Gemini Moon, people can be a bit spacey. You might be too aware of the party, the family, and the fun, and not that focused on the ceremony, the vows, and the commitment. Everyone will have a great time, but take lots of pictures and hire a videographer so you can catch all the little details after the show is over.
Bringing up the rear is the sensitive, yet otherworldly Pisces Moon. If you and your partner feel that you've finally found your soul mate, that you've finally found that someone who is completely simpatico with your ideals, then Pisces Moon is a divine choice. Pisces Moon couples like to express their emotions deeply and often, dealing with their vulnerabilities in the safe haven they have created together.
All this dreamy romance does have a downside. Pisces Moon couples are so supersensitive that they can easily get their feelings hurt if they don't learn to take things lightly. If you enjoy being mushy to the max then it'll work out just fine, but if you find tranquility a bit dull and doing everything together a tad restrictive, then this is not the moon for you. For a coupling that's all fun and adventure, it could add a lovely emotional element.
If a spiritual, sentimental wedding is your goal, you will do best with a Pisces Moon on your big day. Your guests will be moved by your inspiring ceremony and will freely express their love and affection to you and one another all night long. Everyone will be touched by the old photos, the heartfelt speeches, and the beautiful favors. On a Pisces Moon you can truly have the wedding of your dreams. If you're a fun-loving couple and don't want a day full of tear-jerking moments, pass this one up.
It Happened on a ... Moon
ARIES An intense Scorpio bride, a laid-back Leo groom, and a beautiful, creative reception. Married by their brother-in-law, who was ordained for the day, their nontraditional ceremony included vows of not disturbing her Oprah-viewing and his NASCAR-watching.
GEMINI The Cancer couple created their ceremony with an ordained healer. Their own personal vows were very important to them, as were the many heartfelt speeches of friends and family. The evening's many elements happened so fast that it got away from their planner.
CANCER A low-key intimate summer affair at the mother of the bride's home. The ceremony was held in a lovely backyard, and the hostess prepared delicious food. All the planning brought the Virgo mother and Taurus daughter closer than they have ever been before.
LEO An opulent feast for 180 people in an exquisite reception hall where the Cancer bride invoked the elegance of Grace Kelly. A friend made out with a cousin in the closet and the priest sang "Can't Help Falling in Love" at the reception.
LIBRA A traditional ceremony in a 118-year-old church for a couple that mean everything to each other. The Capricorn groom recalls of his Aries bride, "You don't know until that moment ... you always think she's beautiful, but she looks the most beautiful you've ever seen her, it really, literally takes your breath away."
SCORPIO A heartfelt, untraditional ceremony on the lawn of a big mansion in the country. The Virgo-Gemini couple arranged to have a private moment in their room to share their innermost feelings about the day before joining in the large celebration.
AQUARIUS My destination wedding in a castle in Scotland; the marriage of two large families from two different cultures. I wore a ball gown, the men all wore kilts. The bagpiper called me by thewrong name and our Capricorn and Libra fathers ended up showing a little too much leg after a little too much scotch.
PISCES An elaborately crafted interfaith ceremony lit by lantern and candlelight. The friends and family of this Cancer-Leo pair still recall it as one of the most spiritual experiences they've ever had. They carried the theme throughout--even the favors were tied with ribbons reading, "We are all one."
As you can see, every Moon sign has its positives and negatives, as do all the Sun signs each one of us are born under. The great thing about being aware of this now, is that you get to consciously choose what qualities will serve you and your fiancé on your wedding day and into your future.
If after reading this, you're still not sure what Moon sign to marry under, choose a date with the moon in your Sun or Moon sign. It's my experience looking back on wedding charts that about half of married couples unknowingly choose the bride's Sun or Moon sign as the emotional element of their marriage. Proving two things (to me, at least!): one, that women are often the heart of the marriage, and two, that there are no coincidences when setting a wedding date!
Remember, Moon signs are important, but the date of the wedding isn't going to condemn you to a particular fate for the rest of your lives. There are so many other factors in your romance that matter that are too great to even list, including the makeup of your Sun, Moon, Rising, and the rest of your astrological chart. You'll be reading more about that in the next few chapters.
Before we move on, let's discuss setting the dates of all the other parties that go along with getting married. If you are choosing the perfect day for your bridal shower, choose one whose moon is compatible with your and the majority of your friends' Sun signs. An easy way to do this is to break down your list of guests into groups of the four elements(Fire, Earth, Air, Water) on page 13. Once a clear pattern emerges, you'll know exactly what Moon signs to look for.
If you are like most brides, and you want your bachelorette party to be really fun and adventurous, then choose a date with a moon in Aries, Leo, Gemini, or Scorpio. On the other hand, if you want your groom's last party as a single guy to be fun but a little less wild than it can potentially be, choose a date with a Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Libra, or Pisces Moon. He'll have warm memories of his awesome friends without getting too hot under the collar!
Heather's Leo Moon Wedding
No one obsesses more than an astrologer over choosing the perfect wedding day and Heather Roan-Robbins was no different. It was important to Heather, whose chart is full of earthy Virgo, to have a long, thoughtful ceremony out in the woods. Both she and her husband, Jamie, with a chart full of sensitive Pisces, wanted to create a quiet space to speak their vows, yet they also wanted a fun party that included their whole community of eclectic friends. Their solution? They started their day with a small ceremony in front of family and friends, followed by a large party for one and all.
After rejecting several other days, Heather settled on a Leo Moon, which loves ritual and pageantry, wild parties, and spontaneity. As a detail-oriented, analytical Virgo, Heather first needed to study the role of the bride. Once she learned everything there was to know about weddings, she spent nine months creating the perfect ceremony down to the last detail.
Anything goes with a Leo Moon. Their half Celtic-Wiccan, half Native American ceremony included quotes and poems from the Song of Solomon, Rainer Maria Rilke, Joseph Campbell, Thomas Moore, and the Sufi poet Hafiz. Not to mention their tenderly recited vows to each other.
The party for a hundred, held in the backyard of a friend, started with spicy tamales and chili sauce and ended with a huge cake, becauseas Heather puts it, "It's a Leo Moon." She traded her astrological services for a band of belly dancers and had Middle Eastern music playing all night. "We know so many introverts and we also know people who don't get along with one another. We really wanted something to get them outside themselves, to laugh, to dance, to have joy--and not to have to talk to one another if they didn't want to."
And how has their Leo Moon served them throughout the last few years? "We wanted our marriage to be about encouraging our self-growth and self-expression," Heather explains. "The Leo Moon helps us make sure we don't forget the romance."
As an astrologer she adds, "If we were settling down to work together, wishing to have children, or taking on the family farm, we might not have chosen a Leo Moon. It's not a great sign to work out ego issues under either, but we're mostly past that." With a little astrological know-how, Heather chose the right Moon for her relationship: "As it turns out, with all our Virgo and Pisces aspects, we're enjoying a little Leo in our lives."
Now that you've got the basics down, let's take a look at you, the bride. To use the stars to the fullest (and brightest!) it's important to honor your Sun sign, element, and quality, to use your strengths and prop up your weaknesses so that you can have the wedding of your dreams.
Let's dive right into chapter 2. Using the four elements as our guide, we're about to get to know the bride you are born to be. Learn how to stay true to your sign throughout this difficult and wonderful process.
NEVER THROW RICE AT A PISCES. Copyright © 2007 by Stacey Wolf. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. For information, address St. Martin's Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.