The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody but Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass

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Audiobook (MP3 - Unabridged) 
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Overview

From the New York Times bestselling author and host of HBO’s Real Time, Bill Maher’s latest collection of political riffs and savagely funny suggestions for preserving sanity in an insane world.

New Rule: The next Republican Convention must be held in a giant closet. Every week there’s a new gay Republican outed. I have a feeling that “big tent” they’re always talking about is in their pants. There are so many Republicans in the closet, their symbol shouldn’t be an elephant; it should be a moth.

New Rule: If one of your news organization’s headlines is about who got kicked off Dancing with the Stars last night, you’re ...

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Overview

From the New York Times bestselling author and host of HBO’s Real Time, Bill Maher’s latest collection of political riffs and savagely funny suggestions for preserving sanity in an insane world.

New Rule: The next Republican Convention must be held in a giant closet. Every week there’s a new gay Republican outed. I have a feeling that “big tent” they’re always talking about is in their pants. There are so many Republicans in the closet, their symbol shouldn’t be an elephant; it should be a moth.

New Rule: If one of your news organization’s headlines is about who got kicked off Dancing with the Stars last night, you’re no longer a news organization. Sort of like, if you were on Dancing with the Stars last night, you’re no longer a star.

Media, celebrity, Democrats, Republicans, religion, children, marine life, electronics, that couple making out in the next booth—when it comes to lighting up his targets, Bill Maher is an equal-opportunity destroyer. The New New Rules offers Maher’s new and best-loved observations about the world around us, along with some modest tips for its improvement. Because wouldn’t life be a little better if the inside of the office microwave didn’t look like a Jackson Pollock painting, or if fathers stopped signing up their nine-year-olds to win free hunting trips? Scathingly funny and relentlessly unafraid of sensitive topics, Maher’s hilarious brand of realism is more welcome and necessary than ever. So sit back, read on, and enjoy. You may not agree with all his views, but one thing’s for certain: If you’re listening, you’re laughing.

Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble

"If conservative get to call universal healthcare 'socialized medicine,' I get to call private, for-profit healthcare 'soulless, vampire bastards making money off human pain.'" Never given to halfway statements, HBO's Bill Maher now reenters political frays with an even more emphatic follow-up to The New Rules, offering strong opinions about his three R's: Republicans, racists, and religion. Strong stuff for leftward-leaning readers.

Publishers Weekly
“New Rule: Stop putting religious statues on the front lawn. Whoever said there are no virgins left in L.A. has never been to a Mexican neighborhood: there’s one in every yard.” Maher’s passionate rants have never been so addictive as in this inspired performance by the master of late-night talk-show controversy. Taking on everyone from god-fearing Christians to overzealous baseball fans that name their children after ballparks, Maher speaks his mind as only he can. Unabashed and unapologetic, Maher’s performance is as entertaining as his HBO program. Luckily, the new rules keep coming and coming and Maher wisely avoids overly long tirades; the laughs are endless in this thought-provoking work. A Blue Rider hardcover. (Nov.)
Publishers Weekly
Controversial ultra-liberal comedian Maher follows his acerbic New Rules collection with more irreverent musings adapted from his popular weekly HBO show Real Time. Addressing his pet peeves from 2005 to the present, the book tackles everything from The Jersey Shore, to Ted Haggard, to porn addiction, to Rick Perry, as Maher traverses what things irritates him most and ruin his American experience. His alphabetized rules are interrupted by longer screeds, including his 2005 foresight about the financial and foreclosure crises of 2008, and a get-out-now letter to Levi Johnston, who fathered Bristol Palin's baby, around the time of the 2008 Republican National Convention. The nonlinear nature of the book takes readers back and forth through the later years of the Bush Administration and the first three of the Obama Administration, showcasing Maher's consistently unforgiving wordplay, snark, and strangely self-aware humility. His satire can be surprisingly humane, though he never misses the opportunity to pun, which makes every entry capable of surprise. The fearless and honest Maher remains the best cultural critic since George Carlin, and his most recent effort is as hilarious as it is precise.
(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.
Entertainment Weekly

“Pundit Bill Maher courts controversy you say? He calls it telling the truth.”

The New York Times

“One of the establishment’s most entertaining critics.”

Kirkus Reviews
Less an actual book than a return to the print-media platform by a brand most familiar from television. "It's a joke book," admits Maher of this sequel to New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer (2005). As an alphabetized collection of bits from his "New Rules" TV segments (though some never aired), this book is meatier than a collection of top-10 lists from another TV brand. Yet the author acknowledges that he deserves credit neither for the concept (his program's head writer conceived "New Rules" as a running feature) or for "so many of the jokes in this book" (he has staff writers for that). Consequently, the book is a compilation of TV bits that have aired since the last compilation (which means some might be six years old) and some that didn't make the airtime cut for a variety of reasons, aimed at dedicated Maher fans who want all their favorites in one volume or at those who enjoy Maher when they see him but want to see how much they've missed. Example: "New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures of Britney Spears's vagina getting out of a car. Television has desensitized us to violence, and porn has desensitized us to people getting shot in the eye." Though Maher's perspective on celebrity culture, marijuana, masturbation and China will be familiar to fans, some of the longer (rarely longer than a page and a half), more ambitious pieces reflect the sensibility he shares with Jon Stewart, with a cutting-edge humor that slices through journalistic hypocrisy--e.g., "We don't need a third party, we need a first party. This is because we don't have a left and a right party in this country anymore. We have a center-right party and a crazy party. Over the last thirty-odd years, Democrats have moved to the right, and the right has moved into a mental hospital." Funny stuff for TV viewers with short attention spans.

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781101532928
  • Publisher: Penguin Group (USA)
  • Publication date: 11/14/2011
  • Format: MP3
  • Edition description: Unabridged
  • Sales rank: 523,621
  • Ships to U.S.and APO/FPO addresses only.

Meet the Author

Bill Maher
Bill Maher

Bill Maher is the host of HBO's Real Time and hosted Comedy Central and ABC's Politically Incorrect for ten years. He has created nine stand-up comedy specials, and garnered twenty-seven Emmy nominations thus far. In 2008, Maher produced Religulous, the seventh-highest-grossing documentary in history.

Biography

Some comics parlay their routines into sitcoms and movies; Bill Maher chose unconventionally and became a political gadfly. After building his reputation for biting, unsparing humor in an '80s standup act, Maher entered the late-night television arena as host of Politically Incorrect, a raucous celebrity forum that originated on Comedy Central in 1993 and later ran on ABC until 2002.

On the show, which presented an unlikely foursome of celebrities and pundits debating national issues, Maher was the "moderator" -- though the self-defined Libertarian rarely refrained from excoriating guests he disagreed with before cutting to commercial. Maher's Libertarian status has been challenged (Salon did an entire piece informing Maher that he was "more or less a liberal"), but his ability to incite discussion has never been in question. The success of the show led to a 1996 book tie-in, Does Anybody Have a Problem with That?, which offered highlights from Maher's unfettered commentary targeting everything from AIDS ribbons to Howard Stern to "convenient feminism." Here's his response to secondhand smoking complaints: "It only seems fair that if I can put out my cigarette, you can tell your kid to shut up. Because if you don't tell your kid to shut up, the next time, when you're not looking, I'm gonna give him a cigarette." Maher's fans like his willingness to sacrifice tact and decorum for the sake of sheer honesty; like P. J. O'Rourke, he has an ability to make even his ideological opponents laugh.

The Politically Incorrect book wasn't Maher's first; he wrote a novelization of his standup experience, True Story, in 1994. The blunt, sex-spiked account of comedy club life is not for the squeamish, but it does deliver a realistic portrait. Of the five comedians who inhabit Maher's novel, the New York Times wrote, "They are not deep or refined characters, and the wit is not subtle or dry, but they all have charm, even if it comes from a rueful acknowledgment of their fecklessness and their failings."

Ironically, the same equal-opportunity-offender approach that made Maher such a hit may have been what finally did in his show. True to form, Maher managed to anger many even in America's all-for-one climate following the September 11 attacks. The week following the tragedy, Maher said during an argument on his show: "We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly." The resulting tempest in a teapot was enough to make advertisers Sears and FedEx pull out of the show, and it was cancelled shortly thereafter.

With When You Ride Alone, You Ride With bin Laden, Maher did not abandon his comedic tenor -- his promotional tour included stand-up engagements -- or his contrarian views. But he tempered the sarcasm with sincerity. "I can't deny it, I do hope you check out this book," he wrote in a note to readers on his web site. "I feel like it's the first attempt to indicate to people stuff they can actually DO to help fight the big terrorism war, so we can, you know -- win." Maher also said he donated part of the proceeds from his book to the USO and Operation USA.

Maher told US Weekly in 2000 that True Story was "the book I have in me. I'm very proud of it, but I could never write another one." This turned out to be not quite true, though it seems unlikely he'll try another novel. After his show ended, Maher told the Los Angeles Press Club (which gave him its 2002 President's Award) that though he wouldn't seek another show like Politically Incorrect, "I'm definitely still going to be talking about issues. I'm still going to be a comedian. I'm sure I'll still be controversial, but it won't be exactly me and four people every night." When You Ride Alone fulfills Maher's prophecy, and confirms his continuing ability to start conversations -- or arguments.

Good To Know

Maher writes a monthly column for Details magazine.

The title of Maher's 2002 book When You Ride Alone, You Ride With bin Laden comes from a World War II poster he saw that read, "When you ride alone, you ride with Hitler -- Join a car-sharing club today." The book contained 33 spoofs on the wartime propaganda posters that are being offered for sale, including one that reads, "Put a flag on your car...it's literally the least you can do."

    1. Hometown:
      Los Angeles, California
    1. Date of Birth:
      January 20, 1956
    2. Place of Birth:
      New York, New York
    1. Education:
      B.A. in English, Cornell University, 1978

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