Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers

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If you work nonstop without a break...worry about offending others and back down too easily...explain too much when asked for information....or "poll" your friends and colleagues before making a decision, chances are you have been bypassed for promotions and ignored when you expressed your ideas. Although you may not be aware of it, girlish behaviors such as these are sabotaging your career!

Dr. Lois Frankel reveals why some women roar ahead in their careers while others ...

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Overview

If you work nonstop without a break...worry about offending others and back down too easily...explain too much when asked for information....or "poll" your friends and colleagues before making a decision, chances are you have been bypassed for promotions and ignored when you expressed your ideas. Although you may not be aware of it, girlish behaviors such as these are sabotaging your career!

Dr. Lois Frankel reveals why some women roar ahead in their careers while others stagnate. She's spotted a unique set of behaviors—101 in all—that women learn in girlhood that sabotage them as adults. Now, in this groudbreaking guide, she helps you eliminate these unconscious mistakes that could be holding you back—and offers invaluable coaching tips you can easily incorporate into your social and business skills. If you recognize and change the behaviors that say "girl" not "woman", the results will pay off in carrer opportunites you never thought possible—and in an image that identifies you as someone with the power and know-how to occupy the corner office.

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"Any woman intent on getting ahead in the corporate world should read this book. It's a fascinating crash course in image, influence, and communication, from an accomplished and insightful coach. Terrific stuff!" —Anne Fisher, senior writer, Fortune, and "Ask Annie" career columnist, CNNmoney.com

"Every page of this book is filled with something you or one of your friends do every day...A simple, quick guide to presenting ourselves as the strong and bold women we are." —Gail Evans, author of She Wins, You Win and Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman

Library Journal
For more than 20 years, Frankel has coached executives and managers on workplace behavior, and here she seeks to empower women looking to move up in the world. While she does not advocate adopting male behavior to do so, she does constantly tell readers to "quit bein' a girl"-that is, needing to be liked (and not needing to be liked), working too hard, and avoiding office politics, among other actions. Frankel makes her points by describing a mistake from real life on one page and then giving "coaching tips" on the following. Behavioral studies and research are mentioned, but there are no footnotes or bibliography, leaving one to question from whence Frankel's wisdom comes; references to other books and web sites abound. Although spirited and down-to-earth, this self-help book fails to distinguish itself from its many competitors (e.g., Gail Evans's Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman). Librarians, too, should note that it contains a self-assessment checklist and scorecard. For comprehensive collections. [Previewed in Prepub Alert, LJ 10/15/03.]-Margaret Cardwell, Christian Brothers Univ. Lib., Memphis Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.
Soundview Executive Book Summaries
One Hundred and One Mistakes that Sabotage Women's Careers
Executive coach Lois Frankel has spent many years empowering thousands of women to reach their fullest potential. To help women overcome the deeply imbedded character traits they learned as girls and take control of their careers, Frankel describes more than 100 common mistakes that women make during their careers and prescribes numerous ways they can overcome them. By presenting many invaluable tips that can improve women's social and business skills, Frankel creates a guide for women that can help them eliminate self-defeating behaviors from their actions and grow their careers past previous roadblocks.

Frankel's game plan begins with a self-analysis tool that allows women to assess themselves to determine the areas within them that require improvement. Once readers have found the trouble spots in their behaviors, she then directs them to the parts of her book that can help them overcome behavioral obstacles and attain the levels of self-confidence and leadership they desire. To help women find the areas in themselves that require attention, Frankel offers several examples of the executives she has coached in the past (with names changed), and presents the coaching tips that helped them rise on the corporate ladder, get a raise, and get more respect from their management and peers.

'Quit Bein' a Girl'
Frankel's message throughout Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office is that women do not have to act in ways they were taught. She writes that a female executive should, "Quit bein' a girl," and explains that a woman has choices, and is capable of growing into a role as a leader. By providing concrete suggestions for behavioral changes that have been proven to be effective in helping women progress in their careers, Frankel demonstrates how they can act more like women instead of girls. She also explains that her remedies to a stalled career are much like a diet, and must be committed to fully and applied consistently before they can have their intended effects.

After all the mistakes women make in their careers have been identified, and Frankel's coaching tips have been explained, she describes how women can create a personal development plan with a final chapter dedicated to pulling her guidance together. Warning against complexity, Frankel writes that choosing just one behavior per week on which to focus can help women become more aware of their actions, and understand how they sabotage themselves. Once women have replaced their self-defeating behaviors with more effective ones, they will begin to act more like the women they are capable of becoming and less like the girls they were taught to be.

The Socialization Process
Frankel focuses on the socialization process that has discouraged many women from acting in ways beyond the traditionally determined parameters of society. She points out that when women "live a life circumscribed by the expectations of others, we live a limited life. What does it mean to live our lives as girls rather than women? It means we choose behaviors consistent with those that are expected of us rather than those that move us toward fulfillment and self-actualization."

Frankel also explains that women often miss opportunities to get the career-improving assignments or promotions because they are reluctant to showcase their capabilities, hesitant to speak at meetings, and working so hard that they forget to build the relationships they need for long-term success.

Here are a few of the specific mistakes Frankel addresses and her tips for overcoming them:

  • Mistake #47: Using Only Your Nickname or First Name. You'll be much more likely to be taken seriously if you don't use your childhood nickname for professional purposes. (You've never heard people refer to Billie Gates, Jackie Welch or Sammy Walton.)
  • Mistake #50: Being Modest. Completely, totally and permanently erase the phrase Oh - it was nothing from your vocabulary. Prominently display awards or plaques.
  • Mistake #59: Asking Permission. Inform others of your intentions; don't ask for permission. By informing others you show respect for their need to know, but without your action being contingent upon their approval.


Why We Like This Book
Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office is packed with numerous smart tips and suggestions for helping women get ahead in their careers. By focusing on the socialization process that can often hold women back from attaining the leadership positions they desire, Frankel delivers strong messages that address how women behave, think, sound, look and respond, as well as how they brand and market themselves. By presenting specific actions they can take to succeed, Frankel offers bankable advice. Copyright © 2004 Soundview Executive Book Summaries

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780446693318
  • Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
  • Publication date: 6/7/2010
  • Series: A NICE GIRLS Book Series
  • Pages: 268
  • Product dimensions: 5.15 (w) x 8.00 (h) x 0.65 (d)

Meet the Author

Lois P. Frankel, Ph.D., is the President of Corporate Coaching International. She is a sought-after speaker. Her websites are www.drloisfrankel.com; www.gr8speakers.com; and www.corporatecoachingintl.com

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Read an Excerpt

Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office


By Lois P. Frankel

Warner Books

Copyright © 2004 Lois P. Frankel, Ph.D.
All right reserved.

ISBN: 0-446-53132-4


Chapter One

Getting Started

Here's your first coaching tip: Don't begin reading this book until you've learned how to use it to your advantage. You'll only end up thinking everything applies to you in equal proportions when in fact you're probably doing better than you think. You know how we women can be-more critical of ourselves than necessary and reluctant to take credit where it's due. When I coach women, I often tell them that changing behavior is much easier if they can understand where it comes from and what purpose it serves. All behavior serves a purpose-take a few minutes now to understand what purpose yours serves.

>From the outset I want you to know and, even more important, believe that the mistakes impeding you from reaching your career goals or potential don't happen because you're stupid or incompetent (although others might want to make you think so). You are simply acting in ways consistent with your socialization. Beyond girlhood, no one ever tells us that acting differently is an option-and so we don't. Whether it's because we are discouraged from doing so or because we are unaware of the alternatives, we often fail to develop a repertoire of woman-appropriate behaviors.

As an executive coach to both men and women in organizations of all sizes around the world, I've had the opportunity to gain insight into why some people move forward fluidly in their careers while others stagnate, never fully reaching their potential.

Although there are plenty of mistakes made by both men and women that hold them back, there are a unique set of mistakes made predominantly by women. Whether I'm working in Jakarta, Oslo, Prague, Frankfurt, Wellington, or Detroit, I'm amazed to watch women across cultures make the same mistakes at work. They may be more exaggerated in Hong Kong than in Houston, but they're variations on the same theme. And I know they're mistakes because once women address them and begin to act differently, their career paths take wonderful turns they never thought possible.

So why do women stay in the place of girlhood long after it's productive for them? One reason is because we've been taught that acting like a girl-even when we're grown up-isn't such a bad thing. Girls get taken care of in ways boys don't. Girls aren't expected to fend for or take care of themselves-others do that for them. Sugar and spice and everything nice-that's what little girls are made of. Who doesn't want to be everything nice?

The virtues of girls are extolled in songs. "I Enjoy Being a Girl." "Thank Heaven for Little Girls." "My Girl." "The Girl from Ipanema." Who wouldn't want to be a girl? People like girls. Men want to protect you. Cuddly or sweet, tall or tan, girls don't ask for much. They're nice to be around and they're nice to have around-sort of like pets.

Being a girl is certainly easier than being a woman. Girls don't have to take responsibility for their destiny. Their choices are limited by a narrowly defined scope of expectations. And here's another reason why we continue to exhibit the behaviors learned in childhood even when at some level we know they're holding us back: We can't see beyond the boundaries that have traditionally circumscribed the parameters of our influence. It's dangerous to go out of bounds. When you do, you get accused of trying to act like a man or being "bitchy." All in all, it's easier to behave in socially acceptable ways.

There's only one problem. When we live a life circumscribed by the expectations of others, we live a limited life. What does it really mean to live our lives as girls rather than women? It means we choose behaviors consistent with those that are expected of us rather than those that move us toward fulfillment and self-actualization. Rather than live consciously, we live reactively. Although we mature physically, we never really mature emotionally. And while this may allow us momentary relief from real-world dilemmas, it never allows us to be fully in control of our destiny.

As I said in the introduction, observing, coaching, and facilitating workshops for professional women have enabled me to learn firsthand how acting like a girl gets in the way of achieving your career potential. Missed opportunities for career-furthering assignments or promotions arise from being reluctant to showcase your capabilities, feeling hesitant to speak in meetings, and working so hard that you forget to build the relationships necessary for long-term success. These behaviors are only magnified in workshops at which men and women are the participants. My work in corporations allows me to facilitate both workshops for only women and leadership development programs for mixed groups within the same company. Even women whom I've seen act assertively in a group of other women become more passive, compliant, and reticent to speak in a mixed group.

The Case of Susan

Let me give you an example of a woman with whom I worked who wondered why she wasn't reaching her full potential. Susan was a procurement manager for a Fortune 100 oil company. She'd been with this firm for more than twelve years when she expressed frustration over not moving as far or as fast as male colleagues who'd commenced employment at the same time she did. Although Susan thought there might be gender bias at play, she never considered how she contributed to her own career plateauing. Before Susan and I met one-on-one in a coaching session, I had the opportunity to observe her in meetings with her peers.

At the first meeting I noticed this attractive woman with long blond hair, diminutive figure, and deep blue eyes. Being from Texas, she spoke with a delicate Southern accent and had an alluring way of cocking her head and smiling as she listened to others. She was a pleasure to have in the room, but she reminded me of a cheerleader-attractive, vivacious, warm, and supportive.

As others spoke, she nodded her head and smiled. When she did speak, she used equivocating phrases like "Perhaps we should consider ..."; "Maybe it's because ..."; and "What if we ..." Because of these behaviors no one would ever accuse Susan of being offensive, but neither would they consider her executive material.

After several more meetings at which I observed her behavior vis-à-vis her peers, Susan and I met privately to explore her career aspirations. Based on her looks, demeanor, and what I had heard her say in meetings, I assumed she was perhaps thirty to thirty-five years old. I was floored when she told me she was forty-seven, with nearly twenty years' experience in the area of procurement. I had no clue she had that kind of history and experience-and if I didn't, no one else did either. Without realizing it, Susan was acting in ways consistent with her socialization. She had received so much positive reinforcement for these behaviors that she'd come to believe they were the only ways she could act and still be successful.

Susan bought into the stereotype of bein' a girl.

Truth be told, the behaviors she exhibited in meetings did contribute to her early career success. The problem was that they would not contribute to reaching future goals and aspirations. Her management, peers, and direct reports acknowledged she was a delight to work with, but they didn't seriously consider her for more senior positions or high-visibility projects. Susan acted like a girl and, accordingly, was treated like one. Although she knew she had to do some things differently if she were to have any chance of reaching her potential, she didn't have a clue what they would be.

I eventually came to learn Susan was the youngest of four children and the only girl in the family. She was the apple of Daddy's eye and protected by her brothers. She learned early on that being a girl was a good thing. She used it to her advantage. And as Susan grew up, she continued to rely on the stereotypically feminine behaviors that resulted in getting her needs met. She was the student teachers loved having in class, the classmate with whom everyone wanted to be friends, and the cheerleader everyone admired. Susan had no reference for alternative ways of acting that would bring her closer to her dream of being promoted to a vice president position.

We're All Girls at Heart

Although Susan is an extreme example of how being a girl can pay huge dividends, most of us have some Susan in us. We behave in ways consistent with the roles we were socialized to play, thereby never completely moving from girlhood to womanhood. As nurturers, supporters, or helpmates, we are more invested in seeing others get their needs met than we are in ensuring that ours are acknowledged. And there's another catch. When we do try to break out of those roles and act in more mature, self-actualizing ways, we are often met with subtle-and not-so-subtle-resistance designed to keep us in a girl role. Comments like "You're so cute when you're angry," "What's the matter? Are you on the rag?" or "Why can't you be satisfied with where you are?" are designed to keep us in the role of a girl.

When others question our femininity or the validity of our feelings, our typical response is to back off rather than make waves. We question the veracity of our experience. If it's fight or flight, we often flee. And every time we do, we take a step back into girlhood and question our self-worth. In this way we collude with others to remain girls rather than become women. And here is where we must begin to accept responsibility for not getting our needs met or never reaching our full potential. Eleanor Roosevelt was right when she said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Stop consenting. Stop colluding. Quit bein' a girl!

Managing Your Anxiety

I can see by the looks on women's faces, and from their comments, that anxiety and confusion are part of the learning process. My 1989 audiotape, Women and Power: Understand Your Fear/Releasing Your Potential, and my book, Women, Anger & Depression: Strategies for Self-Empowerment (Health Communications, 1991) contain now dated examples, but the content related to the process remains on target. More than a decade later, when the suggestion is made to embrace their power, women reject the notion of being perceived as too masculine, aggressive, or uncooperative out of fear. It is so counter to our socialization that we dismiss it out of hand. The notion that we must be for others rather than for ourselves is implanted so strongly that we are reluctant to explore the alternative.

The irony is that women act powerfully all the time, but in ways different from men. Relying on our "girlish charm" can be just as influential, but less direct and less confrontational. In other words, we wield power less directly than men. We've learned to be less direct so we will not be perceived as taking too much power away from men. This is at the core of our difficulties with gaining increased influence skills and organizational visibility.

Each time a woman directly asserts herself, however, she is essentially saying to the men in her life (whether they are husbands, sons, bosses, or other male authority figures), "I want something from you. I want what is rightfully mine. I expect my needs to be met, too." With each assertion we frequently feel guilty. We equate taking control back with taking something away from someone else.

More than simply getting what we need, deserve, or want, we are forcing others to give back what we have been giving away for so long. The reactions we get are difficult to cope with. Others don't really want the situation to change-they already have everything they need, so why should they change?

Resistance to change is normal. It is to be expected. Like the alcoholic in recovery who finds others colluding to bring him or her back to a place of intoxication, the girl who moves toward womanhood will find herself faced with people who want to continue to infantilize her. This is what you must keep in mind if you want to achieve your goals.

What's a Girl to Do?

Here are some specific coaching tips-a prelude of what is to follow. Take them one at a time. Don't try to do them all at once- you'll only set yourself up for frustration. Choose one or two on which to work, then come back for more. Give yourself permission to move from girlhood to womanhood. It may seem like a simple idea, but it's one that is often resisted for all the reasons mentioned above. Have a good, long talk with yourself. Tell yourself that you are not only allowed, but entitled to act in ways that move you toward goal attainment. Try the mantra I am entitled to have my needs met, too.

Visualize yourself as you want to be. If you can see it, you can have it. Picture yourself in the role to which you aspire. If it's in the corner office, see yourself at the desk with the accoutrements that go along with it. Consider the behaviors in which you will engage to warrant this position and the ways in which you will act. Bring them into your reality.

Talk back to the fearful voice inside your head. This may sound crazy at first, but you must counter the old messages and replace them with new ones. If your fearful girl's voice says, "But no one will like me if I change," let your woman's voice respond with, "That's an old message. Let's create a new, more empowered one."

Surround yourself with a Plexiglas shield. The Plexiglas shield is designed to allow you to see what is going on around you, but not be punctured by the negativity of others. I suggested this to a client, who later told me she thought it sounded a little crazy but decided to try it-only to find that it worked! In difficult situations she would picture herself encapsulated in a Plexiglas bubble that protected her from the disparaging remarks of others and allowed her to remain in a grounded, adult position.

Create the word on the street. A routine exercise we do in leadership classes is to ask participants to write a twenty-five-word vision statement of how they want to be described, then list the behaviors needed to get them there. You can do the same. Write down what you want others to be saying about you, then follow it up with specific actions to make it happen. In short, accept the responsibility of adulthood.

Recognize resistance and put a name to it. When you find others resisting your efforts to be more direct and empowered, con-ider first that their responses are designed to keep you in a less powerful place. Rather than acquiesce, question it. Say something like, "It seems you don't agree with what I'm saying. Let me give you the rationale for my position and then perhaps you can tell me what it is you take issue with."

Ask for feedback.

Continues...


Excerpted from Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office by Lois P. Frankel Copyright © 2004 by Lois P. Frankel, Ph.D.. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Introduction xiii

Chapter 1 Getting Started 1

Chapter 2 How You Play the Game 19

1 Pretending It Isn't a Game 20

2 Playing the Game Safely and within Bounds 22

3 Working Hard 24

4 Doing the Work of Others 26

5 Working without a Break 28

6 Being Naive 30

7 Pinching Company Pennies 32

8 Waiting to Be Given What You Want 34

9 Avoiding Office Politics 38

10 Being the Conscience 40

11 Protecting Jerks 44

12 Holding Your Tongue 46

13 Failing to Capitalize on Relationships 48

14 Not Understanding the Needs of Your Constituents 50

Chapter 3 How You Act 53

15 Polling Before Making a Decision 54

16 Needing to Be Liked 56

17 Not Needing to Be Liked 58

18 Not Asking Questions for Fear of Sounding Stupid 60

19 Acting Like a Man 62

20 Telling the Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth (So Help You God) 65

21 Sharing Too Much Personal Information 68

22 Being Overly Concerned with Offending Others 70

23 Denying the Importance of Money 72

24 Flirting 74

25 Acquiescing to Bullies 76

26 Decorating Your Office Like Your Living Room 78

27 Feeding Others 80

28 Offering a Limp Handshake 82

29 Being Financially Insecure 84

30 Helping 87

Chapter 4 How You Think 89

31 Making Miracles 90

32 Taking Full Responsibility 92

33 Obediently Following Instructions 94

34 Viewing Men in Authority as Father Figures 96

35 Limiting Your Possibilities 98

36 Ignoring the Quid Pro Quo 102

37 Skipping Meetings 104

38 Putting Work Ahead of Your Personal Life 106

39 Letting People Waste Your Time 108

40 Prematurely Abandoning Your Career Goals 110

41 Ignoring the Importance of Network Relationships 113

42 Refusing Perks 116

43 Making Up Negative Stories 118

44 Striving for Perfection 120

Chapter 5 How You Brand and Market Yourself 123

45 Failing to Define Your Brand 124

46 Minimizing Your Work or Position 126

47 Using Only Your Nickname or First Name 128

48 Waiting to Be Noticed 130

49 Refusing High-Profile Assignments 132

50 Being Modest 134

51 Staying in Your Safety Zone 136

52 Giving Away Your Ideas 138

53 Working in Stereotypical Roles or Departments 140

54 Ignoring Feedback 142

55 Being Invisible 144

Chapter 6 How You Sound 147

56 Couching Statements as Questions 148

57 Using Preambles 150

58 Explaining 152

59 Asking Permission 154

60 Apologizing 156

61 Using Minimizing Words 158

62 Using Qualifiers 160

63 Not Answering the Question 162

64 Talking Too Fast 164

65 The Inability to Speak the Language of Your Business 166

66 Using Nonwords 168

67 Using Touchy-Feely Language 170

68 The Sandwich 172

69 Speaking Softly 176

70 Speaking at a Higher-than-Natural Pitch 178

71 Trailing Voice Mails 180

72 Failing to Pause or Reflect Before Responding 182

Chapter 7 How You Look 185

73 Smiling Inappropriately 186

74 Taking Up Too Little Space 188

75 Using Gestures Inconsistent with Your Message 190

76 Being Over- or Underanimated 192

77 Tilting Your Head 194

78 Wearing Inappropriate Makeup 196

79 Wearing the Wrong Hairstyle 198

80 Dressing Inappropriately 200

81 Sitting on Your Foot 202

82 Grooming in Public 204

83 Sitting in Meetings with Your Hands under the Table 206

84 Wearing Your Reading Glasses around Your Neck 208

85 Accessorizing Too Much 210

86 Failing to Maintain Eye Contact 212

Chapter 8 How You Respond 215

87 Internalizing Messages 216

88 Believing Others Know More than You 219

89 Taking Notes, Getting Coffee, and Making Copies 222

90 Tolerating Inappropriate Behavior 224

91 Exhibiting Too Much Patience 228

92 Accepting Dead-End Assignments 230

93 Putting the Needs of Others Before Your Own 232

94 Denying Your Power 234

95 Allowing Yourself to Be the Scapegoat 237

96 Accepting the Fait Accompli 239

97 Permitting Others' Mistakes to Inconvenience You 242

98 Being the Last to Speak 244

99 Playing the Gender Card 246

100 Tolerating Sexual Harassment 249

101 Crying 251

Appendix Personal Development Planning and Resources 255

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Customer Reviews

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  • Posted September 22, 2009

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    Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office 101

    Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office 101 by Lois P. Frankel is a book that all women should receive upon graduation from college. It is amazing what we, the female gender, do to undermine ourselves without realizing it. Many of us, who come from homes that were supportive and definitely didn't pigeonhold us into the subservient female role, would never imagine how much we have picked up from the social cues and trends around us. Though, until recently, I would have not realized that I suffered from "nice girl syndrome", nor would I have connected it to ill health in my professional (or personal) life for that matter, I have now received a shocking education. Like jumping into a lake much colder than the tepid waters you were expecting, Nice Girls startles you with realization, while you emerge more refreshed because of it. If Nice Girls was a friend, it would be the one who says, "yes, you really do look fat in that outfit, but here's another that will accentuate what a wonderful body you actually have." See, it is not mean; it is truthful with gems of coaching advice. Frankel does not leave you hanging; she will tell you outright how you are shooting yourself in the foot, but then she will remove the gun from your hand and replace it with bandages and antiseptic.
    I have borrowed this one from the public library, but will be adding it my personal library. This is too valuable of a resource to not own and be able to refer back to until these life changing tips become healthy habits. As we change and grow our areas that we reference to in this book will also change, and I would like to have the ability to take and retake the questionnaire, that guides you through the book, as often as I like.

    Frankly, I'm not sure I know more than three or four women who don't need to read this book.

    (originally posted on www.coconutlibrary.typepad.com)

    6 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 11, 2012

    Working in a mans field

    As a young 24 year old female working in a man's field, i originally thought this book was absurd and didnt apply in the least bit. Struggling to gain respect from the 10 men at least 10 years older than me that i supervised, i continued to troop through this book. I took the quiz as instructed, and followed the book as designed. I dont work in an office, so i was already discouraged. I worked on two suggestions a week, realizing that they did somehow pertain to me. Minor changes, how i stand, discipline of employees, showing sympathy, down to how i tie my hair, or packing away my cutesy earrings have lead me to great respect and success in an amazingly short time frame. It has also taught me how to interact more with pushy or angry customers and to keep control of the situation. Did i turn into macho butch chick? Absolutely not! Even practicing simple suggestions and watching peoples reactions is amazing. Ive suggested this book numerous times, bought it paper and ebook, and a year later still cruise through it. Its not a miracle worker, but great motivation and simple steps for a lady looking for success. You will have to apply the rules to your own life and atmosphere, remember the author is writing generally. I highly suggest this book! Make sure you read it as designed!

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 29, 2007

    Not for girls from my time

    I'm 17 and wanted to read this book to make sure I didn't start bad work habbits right off the bat. This book wasn't really helpful for me and I doubt it would be helpful for girls that are 5 years younger than me when they join the workforce. We don't view the world in the perspective the author was writing in. However, if your in your 40's and stuck in a career rut I can see how the tips would have been helpful.

    3 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 14, 2010

    Good book

    I saw all the positive reviews for this book and thought "why not give it a shot?". I did not buy it for myself but for my wife who is a corporate attorney. She loved it. Along the same lines, I also suggest another book titled "The Career Journey" by author Ram Iyer. For some reason, that book is not listed here but I ordered from Amazon. It is really one cool book with a lot of practical suggestions and tips on how to excel at your current work environment and rise up the corporate ladder. Unlike this book that is more tailored for female, "The Career Journey" is more unisex and much more practical.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 22, 2010

    Learn about yourself

    I loved this book b/c it really taught me something about myself and what makes me tick. It also really helped me figure out ways to work on my weaknesses.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 1, 2007

    Did not understand the purpose of the book

    I bought the book thinking it would have some 'new' information. It didn't. Mostly common sense things - like don't share personal info at work. In all honesty, I have not finished the book. However, I will because I don't like to waste money. I suggest getting it from your library first and then if you really like it buy the book. Otherwise, don't waste your money.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 4, 2006

    I'm Not That Kind of Woman!

    This book hit the nail on the head! I bought this book as a 'just in case' guide to be sure I wasn't acting any way I shouldn't. I felt I had respect from my male peers, but not enough. I started reading this book, thinking, 'I certainly do not do any of these things! I'm not a typical woman.' But sure enough, she hit on some points that I found myself guilty of. I believe there is not one woman out there who could not benefit from at least one of her rules. It has changed my work career and state of mind drastically! It's a career-saver.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 2, 2012

    This book is great

    This is a great read. I was able to apply so many things to my own life.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted March 5, 2012

    I LIKED IT

    I bought the audio bundle of this product, which includes "Nice Girls don´t get the corner office", which I found substantial, and "Nice Girls don´t get Rich", which was totally a waste of time, as the author is not a financial advisor and the content was full of common sense and fillers. I do reccomend Nice Girls don´t get the corner office for everyone, even high schoolers. It is a must read for the ones entering the workfore or the ones are not satisfied with their career success.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted March 9, 2009

    Every girl graduating from college should read this

    Excellent ideas,easy read. Every girl in her early twenties should read this before getting her first job in the big world. It is so true and would save a lot grief by breaking these bad habits early! Really liked it wish I had read it 20 yrs ago.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 12, 2005

    Excellent tips

    Great tips on real life business situations and the attitudes that women can bring to the table unknowningly. A confidence builder.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 1, 2005

    Packed with Knowledge !

    Author, coach and psychotherapist Lois P. Frankel explains how traditionally feminine behavior undermines women¿s career growth. She makes you feel as comfortable as possible while teaching you about 'girlish' behavior that holds you back at work. As soon as she describes a problem, she jumps in with doable solutions, some easy, some quite challenging or time-consuming. Frankel shares case histories and offers many applicable techniques. She uses humor deftly and warns the gung-ho not to change everything at once. Now the caveats: Frankel does not grapple with the insoluble problem that women who behave in more forceful, unfeminine ways are often disliked and rejected, a maddening `Catch 22¿ if you want to advance. She should warn that even smart tactics rarely help in a truly sexist workplace. She also needs to say that the wish to be liked isn¿t girlish, feminine or womanly; it is human. Contrary to platitude, other people can hurt and stigmatize you with their verbal abuse or harassment, no matter how strong you are. Still, although she hasn¿t unraveled every knot, Frankel comes a long way toward helping women diagnose - with a self-assessment checklist - and correct inadvertent mistakes that could be holding them back. We recommend her valuable counsel to women who want to become respected leaders.

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 19, 2004

    A Must Read for Every Woman! (and some men)

    This book has been so helpful in my personal and business life that I purchased multiple copies to give out to my female family and friends.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 25, 2004

    Who's Rules?

    This is book that reinforces the existing rules of a male dominated work force. Who determined that acting like a man is 'professional?' The way we look at feminine behavior is the problem, not the the feminine behavior. I am a woman in business for myself and I can tell you, my instinctual female behavior makes me an exeptional worker that can be relied upon. It is sad that employers are not seeing this. I would rather have a woman working for me than a man any day of the week - provided they come to me as themselves, and not trying to act like a man in drag.

    1 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 14, 2004

    Very Helpful

    This book was an excellent read, one every woman, no matter her success level, can gain insight and value from. This would be a book, however, that one may need to reference or skim through again- for every advice or tip can't be memorized. I am a young woman in her early 20s just starting her career, and I am glad I bought this book now and not later.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 10, 2004

    Ugh. Same old thing.

    Well, I was very excited to pick up this book, after seeing it previewed on television. But I must say, when I began reading through it, I was dissappointed. The tips she gives are nothing new from 20 years ago. (Remember, 'Games Mother Never Taught You'?). The author makes several references to 'femininity' or the feminine side of humanity as being a weakness! Come on, there is room for femininity in the work place. Short hair, jewelry, makeup, etc. All taboo? I think the work force has grown up to see these are stereotypes that have been broken in the last 20 years! And why is it she paints the masculine side, or men, as always having it 'right'? Men got their jobs in earlier days precisely because they were men. Why do we need to play along with their game even today? Some of her suggestions are valid, but they should be applied to men as well as women (eye contact, hand positions, etc.). There are plenty of very successful women today who don't wear their hair short, buttoned up dark suits, and classic pearl necklaces and earrings! I was hoping for a much more in-depth insight for today's marketplace.

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 27, 2013

    All women must read this

    Greatest advice ever,period.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 29, 2007

    A reviewer

    This book was not useful. The author spent too much time trying to be cute, not helpful about a very serious topic

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 15, 2005

    Excellent read

    This book provides great insight into common mistakes women make in the workplace. It has taught me that certain things women do are perceived differently by others than we might have thought. I highly recommend this book!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 8, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

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