The Nine Rooms of Happiness: Loving Yourself, Finding Your Purpose, and Getting Over Life's Little Imperfections

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Overview

What Room Are You In?

Ask any woman how she's feeling. Even when things look pretty darn great from the outside, chances are that at least one thing (and it may seem minor to others) is nagging at her, making her feel less than spectacular, bringing her down: I'm too fat. My husband doesn't help enough around the house. My friend is going to be mad if I don't call her back. Why don't my kids try harder at school? My job is less than inspiring. ...

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The Nine Rooms of Happiness: Loving Yourself, Finding Your Purpose, and Getting Over Life's Little Imperfections

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Overview

What Room Are You In?

Ask any woman how she's feeling. Even when things look pretty darn great from the outside, chances are that at least one thing (and it may seem minor to others) is nagging at her, making her feel less than spectacular, bringing her down: I'm too fat. My husband doesn't help enough around the house. My friend is going to be mad if I don't call her back. Why don't my kids try harder at school? My job is less than inspiring. Whatever happened to that old boyfriend, the one who got away?

Whether it's the size of our thighs or our bank accounts, there always seems to be something that isn't measuring up to our high standards—and we let the dissatisfaction spill over into other areas of our lives, distracting us from taking pleasure in everything that's going right.

In The Nine Rooms of Happiness, Lucy Danziger, editor in chief of Self magazine, and women's-health psychiatrist Catherine Birndorf use the metaphor of a house to release us from this phenomenon. In this house, the living room is where we deal with friendships and our social life; the bedroom is where we explore intimacy, romance, relationships, and sex; the bathroom is for issues relating to health and body image; the kitchen is for nourishment and the division of chores; and so on.

Our "inner house" can have eight beautifully designed, neat and tidy rooms, and one messy one, and still we focus on the mess.

The Nine Rooms of Happiness pinpoints common self-destructive patterns of behavior and offers key processes that will help readers clean up their emotional architecture. After each room is "clean," Danziger and Birndorf show us how we can spend time on ourselves figuring out what is most meaningful to us—finding larger passion and purpose that makes returning to the rest of our house a pleasure, no matter what calamity or mess awaits.

The result? After reading this book you'll think differently about the things that are bringing you down and be able to live a happier, more joy filled life, in every room of your emotional house.

From the outside, you'd think I have it all: beautiful house, wonderful children, devoted husband. But am I happy I think so. There's nothing that has gone terribly wrong. There's no reason for me not to be happy. But I don't feel happy so much as I feel I'm just going through the motions. Sometimes I have the feeling that there's more and I just haven't found it yet. But what . . . and how dare I want more? Isn't all that I have enough?
—from The Nine Rooms of Happiness

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  • Lucy Danziger & Catherine Birndorf
    Lucy Danziger & Catherine Birndorf  

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781401341565
  • Publisher: Hyperion
  • Publication date: 12/21/2010
  • Pages: 304
  • Sales rank: 536,930
  • Product dimensions: 8.38 (w) x 11.34 (h) x 0.80 (d)

Meet the Author

Lucy Danziger has been Editor-in-Chief of SELF magazine for six years and has a total readership of 5.4 million. She appears regularly on Good Morning America, Today, and the CBS Early Show.

Dr. Catherine Birndorf is a psychiatrist and is Program Director of the Payne Whitney Women's Program. She has appeared on Today, The CBS Evening News, CNN, and MSNBC. She is a contributing columnist for SELF magazine.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 3
( 49 )
Rating Distribution

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4 Star

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 49 Customer Reviews
  • Posted July 19, 2010

    It makes you think

    This book has really made me think about the reason why I do things, and it is very inspiring, however, I have had trouble reading it. I am usually the kind of reader that when I get a new book I read it fast like in about a week or so. But this book even inspiring it gets me tired, I have read like other three books while reading this one, it just does not keep me interested for some reason. I am getting almost to the end, I keep trying just because I believe is teaching me something.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 15, 2010

    Self- Help that's ACTUALLY helpful. No, but seriously.

    I have had the pleasure of hearing Mrs. Danzinger and Mrs. Birndrof speak about this book and their experience in person, and I have to admit that i thought, "Wait, There's no WAY they transferred their natural energies and SO-ASUPER intelligent thoughts into mere words to be put on these pages." Oh, how wrong I was. This book is for young (or middle aged!) women who are successful, have great things in their lives, but just can't seem to peg themselves as completely "happy." What is holding you back? Can you even identify it? Is it a brush with perfectionism? Are you seeing today through a "filter" from your childhood or past years? Can you enjoy an experience in the moment, or only through retrospective, rose-colored goggles? This book will help you answer these questions and more. Moreover, the book is laid out well, the chapters are short and very digestible, and there's even a "short-cut to the book" two pages (35-36, i think), to which you can refer back even after reading that does a great job of summarizing the arguments. Actually, looking at those pages would be a great way to review what you're getting into before you buy. These women's sense of humor comes through their words, and i often found myself laughing out loud while reading. I highly recommend this book!

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 23, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    The most enjoyable "self-help" book that I have ever read

    I recently read The Nine Rooms of Happiness and found it to be the most inspiring self-help book I've seen in a long time. The author makes the topics relate back to the everyday woman, whether she is a housewife or a career woman. The theory of the Nine Rooms that make up a woman's "house" is spot-on and makes sense all around. The writing style makes it an enjoyable read, and the lessons inside give the reader something to take with them as they journey down the long road called life. It's a definite plus that the author is the editor of Self magazine, and is really in touch with women across America. I will absolutely be reading this book again!

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 17, 2010

    Looks too much to the past

    Did not care for the book...tried reading it a 2nd time thinking maybe I just wasn't focused, but felt the same after that reading also. Just not that much useful information...looks too much to the past. Sometimes you just might not be able to figure out the "past" part of an issue, but you know you have a problem. Just figure out the right way to go and move forward. The only useful item I took from the book was regarding the relationship formula. A + B = C with me being A, problem person being B, and relationship being C. You can't change others but you can change yourself in order to change the relationship...very good advice.

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 2, 2010

    NINE ROOMS OF HAPPINESS EVEN AGUY CAN LEARN FROM IT

    Well done ladies.
    Thought it was going to be an easy read but it sure wasn't.
    While not ground breaking, it sure does illustrate the pitfalls of life and how to avoid them.
    Dr. Birndorf seems without artiface and to the point without the need for layering herself in either glibness nor jargon.
    I would think she could handle herself well with a call in show on the radio and/or television.
    After watching her and MS. Danzinger on the Today show, I am sure they would be facile and enlightening.
    Would have to take calls from us boys tho.
    Congrats all around.

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 2, 2013

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  • Posted April 25, 2010

    Good For Beginners

    The method of organization was very good. Using rooms to describe what you are feeling and where you're at in life inovative. A lot of the ideas and information may be repetitive to those who have already done some of this kind of work

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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