No Lady and Her Tramp (Romantic Satire)by Kristie Leigh Maguire, Mark Haeuser
No Lady and Her Tramp will have you rolling in the aisles as you follow the exploits of the residents of President Park, the trailer park to top all trailer parks. When Beth Ann Dixon buys herself a computer and decides to write a steamy erotic novel, her husband, Billy Ray, can't do much of anything right, not even shoot a
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Top Ten - Preditors & Editors Poll
No Lady and Her Tramp will have you rolling in the aisles as you follow the exploits of the residents of President Park, the trailer park to top all trailer parks. When Beth Ann Dixon buys herself a computer and decides to write a steamy erotic novel, her husband, Billy Ray, can't do much of anything right, not even shoot a gun. Janet Higgins is the resident Peeping Tom - and Troy Finkmyer is the guy we all love to hate. Everybody gets into the act and there are showdowns all over Grapevine - Grapevine, Kentucky that is. Shirley Snodgrass is the local gossip columnist for the Grapevine Gazette and records it all in her column, 'I Heard It Through the Grapevine'.
These two authors, Kristie Leigh Maguire and Mark Haeuser, by putting their talents together, have written a very funny book laced with pure, unadulterated steam.
The sex is hot ...
The laughs are many ...
The OMGosh's are many and funny.
Everyone has to read this. It is a super fast read because you can't put it down.
- KLM Books
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Meet the Author
Kristie Leigh Maguire was voted Best Up and Coming Romance Author of the Year and her novel Desert Heat was voted Romance of the Year by the Affaire de Coeur Magazine Reader/Writer Poll. Her novels Cabin Fever and No Lady and Her Tramp placed in the Top Ten in the Preditor & Editor’s Poll.
Mark Haeuser began writing in 1997 after a trip to a local bookstore. After spending hours searching, he realized that no one wrote the kind of stories he wanted to read. He loved adventure stories and craved the kind of realistic action he had lived as a police officer. He decided to try his hand at writing his own books.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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very funny. Enjoyed reading
So, you think you can just pull up a chair and sit yourself down and write a steamy romance novel, heh? Well, that¿s exactly what Beth Ann Dixon plans on doing; and don¿t you dare tell her otherwise. Well, there is one thing she needs in order to do this writing stuff and that¿s a computer. Even with her busy schedule, as owner and head hair stylist at Kut-N-Kurl and her husband Billy Ray working as a mechanic at the local auto repair, she just can¿t see her way through to purchasing that necessary item. Of course, when you least expect it, the winnings can be high when you¿re a regular at Wednesday night bingo at St. John¿s Catholic Church. Beth Ann desperately wants to get away from Grapevine, Kentucky and the President Trailer Park where she and Billy Ray live. There¿s no way she¿s going to stay there for the rest of her life and live with those people. Those people being her very nosy neighbors. She and Billy Ray can¿t do anything without them knowing their business. Of course, the private lives of her peeping acquaintances aren¿t so private either with Beth Ann watching every move they make. One neighbor Beth Ann can do without is Shirley Snodgrass. Her claim to fame while living in President Trailer Park, is her long-standing gig as a gossip columnist with the ¿Grapevine Gazette¿. Her little slice of rumor mill heaven is known as ¿I Heard It Through The Grapevine¿ and tells the sordid details of the lives of many of the residents of the trailer park. Most of these tidbits of information come from Shirley¿s great undercover work ¿ undercover meaning under the cover of darkness. One of the most mentioned guests in Shirley¿s column happens to be Beth Ann who wants nothing better than to get back at Shirley. Then, there¿s crazy, destructive Troy Finkmyer and his meek wife, Mary Jo. Troy drives a taxi for a living. He also has quite an interesting side life, too, that caters to many of the local women. Mary Jo, whom everyone feels sorry for, seldom ventures out of her tiny metal home. There are a multitude of secrets behind those walls, some of which are better left unknown. Billy Ray enjoys his free time drinking beer at the ¿Amtrak¿ and flirting with the women who are always giving him the eye. That¿s the one thing that bothers Beth Ann. Even though they are still in love after all of these years, the sparks have dwindled. She aims to rekindle those and make fireworks. With her trusty computer and an internet connection, Beth Ann winds her way around the cyber world. One of her finds is Stefan, the world¿s best lover. He knows all about women and how to make them happy. One of his greatest pleasures is sharing his wealth of knowledge in the ways of romance and steamy seduction with Beth Ann. Armed with her highly overzealous imagination and her desire to be rich and famous, Beth Ann types her little heart out. What happens next will have you wondering about your own neighbors. Whenever you see them watching you and smiling, you¿ll wonder just what they know, what they have seen, or what they¿ve ever heard about you. Kristie Leigh Maguire and Mark Haeuser have outdone themselves with this unique story. I was hooked from the first page. Even through the more serious moments, I was drawn into their vividly presented world of President Trailer Park and Grapevine, Kentucky. There is something for everyone in NO LADY AND HER TRAMP. It has humor, mystery, steamy moments, and an interesting cacophony of characters. Patti from www.RomanceJunkies.com
Beauty Salon owner Beth Ann Dixon, long term resident of Presidant Park trailer park and long suffering wife of Billy Ray wants more out of life that the existence she has experienced thus far. Her dream starts when she wins at bingo and buys herself a computer. She decides that she will write an erotic novel and become rich and famous the world over. Her husband, and everyone else who discovers her plan, laugh at her, for how could someone who never even finished high school, become a famous writer? But Beth Ann is determined to prove them all wrong, and then who'll be laughing? I loved this book, populated by characters that you can just imagine living in this fictional trailer park, but they never become cariacatures, just very funny. My favourite character was Janet, the local busybody. Most of the love secens take place within Beth Ann's novel, almost like a little book within a book, and are written very well. I couldn't really tell that the book was written by two different authors, their styles melded so well. It is a very funny book, but there are some dramatic moments as well, just like life, although if I lived in President Park, I'm not sure I could take all that excitement! Reviewed by Annette Gisby, author of Drowning Rapunzel and Silent Screams.
Beth Ann Dixon¿s life in Grapevine, Kentucky, doesn¿t look too bad from the outside. She¿s married to (and still in love with) her high school sweetheart, Billy Ray. She owns her own business, the Kut-n-Kurl beauty shop. But while the love hasn¿t gone out of her marriage, the physical magic certainly has; and the President Trailer Park is not where she wants to spend the rest of her days. Beth Ann has had enough of living at such close quarters with the likes of crazy Troy Finkmyer¿his battered wife, Mary Jo¿and nosey old Janet Higgins. She¿s also had more than enough of reading about the Park residents¿ antics in local gossip columnist Shirley Snodgrass¿s sensationalized weekly offerings. So now Beth Ann is going to get out! She¿s got a new computer (bought with church bingo winnings), and she¿s writing the steamiest, sexist novel she can dream up. That book¿s the ticket to elsewhere for Beth Ann and her Billy Ray. Writing it most certainly will change Beth Ann¿s life. Not to mention Billy Ray¿s, and¿before all is over¿the lives of everyone else in President Trailer Park. Or should I say the lives of everyone else in Grapevine, Kentucky? This is one of the few books I¿ve read in recent years that has literally made me laugh out loud. It also made me think that my own 10-year stint as a mobile home park resident was positively boring, compared to the adventures of Beth Ann and Billy Ray. Yet this comic novel has its serious moments, too; and many of them are quite touching. The authors have done something I love in humorous fiction. They¿ve taken familiar (even hackneyed) stereotypes, and then deftly fleshed those stereotypes out into genuine, believable individuals. The result is characters about whom readers can't help caring. Even while also laughing their heads off! Don¿t miss this one. It is priceless.
Down and dirty, and one of the funniest books I have read in a long time. The steamy, very descriptive sex in No Lady and Her Tramp puts Harold Robbins¿ books to shame. The one thing Mr. Robbins¿ books did not have is the humor that illuminates in this work of art. This story is one woman¿s accounting of the trials, tribulations, and antics of her life, and all of the other colorful characters that live in a trailer park. Today it is not politically correct, but many years ago we would have called these characters that exist in the President¿s Trailer Park, `Trailer Trash¿. You may find the palms of your hands sweat, among other things, from the titillating sex that fill the pages. You will also find yourself laughing aloud, as humor runs consistently throughout the book. These two authors, Kristie Leigh Maguire and Mark Haeuser, by putting their talents together, have written a very funny book laced with pure, unadulterated steam. After reading No Lady and Her Tramp, I certainly hope they corroborate on many more books.
This is the funniest book I have ever read. Only someone who has lived in a "trailer park" would know that such activities are not all that far-fetched. Whether it's the guy you love to hate, or the gal you laugh at until there are tears running down your cheeks, it's a laugh a page. And you have to love a happy ending--even in Grapevine, USA.
This was one of the best books I have ever read. Married with children could only have wished they were this funny!!!! I just pictured every event as it happened. These authors kick the rear ends of anyone else who has tried to write this style of entertainment. I bet some Hollywood types are knocking on their doors right now!!! Well done!!