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Kate LinI Highly recommend Nonviolent Communication to anyone interested in resolving conflicts, creating more intimate relationships, or exploring the connection between language and violence.
—The New Times
Nonviolent Communication encourages people to use language that ...
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Nonviolent Communication encourages people to use language that increases goodwill. It teaches people how to avoid language that creates resentment or lowers self esteem. It emphasizes compassion as the motivation for actions, rather than fear, guilt, shame or blame. It also emphasizes personal responsibility for our choices. Nonviolent Communication can be used effectively even without the other person's or group's knowledge of the process.
Marshall Rosenberg has rediscovered the lost language of humankind, the language of a people who care about one another and long to live in harmony. He guides us in reframing the way we express ourselves and listen to others by focusing our consciousness on four areas: what we are observing, feeling, and needing and what we are requesting to enrich our lives.
The skills he teaches foster deep listening, respect, and empathy and engenders a mutual desire to give from the heart.
I was presenting Nonviolent Communication in a mosque at a refugee camp in Bethlehem to about 170 Palestinians when a man leapt to his feet and hollered at the top of his lungs, "Murderer!" Immediately a dozen other voices joined him: "Assassin!" "Child-killer!" "Murderer!"
I knew the refugees harbored anger toward the U.S. for supplying weapons to Israel.
I addressed the man who had called me a murderer:
I: Are you angry because you would like my government to use its resources differently? (I didn't know whether my guess was correct, but what is critical is my sincere effort to connect with his feeling and need.)
He: Damn right I'm angry! You think we need tear gas? We need sewers, not your tear gas! We need housing! We need to have our own country!
Our dialogue continued for nearly twenty minutes and I listened for the feeling and need behind each statement. I didn't agree or disagree. I received his words, as gifts from a fellow human willing to share his soul with me.
Once he felt understood, he was able to hear my purpose for being at the camp. An hour later, the same man who had called me a murderer invited me home for a Ramadan dinner.
|Chapter 1||Giving From the Heart: The Heart of Nonviolent Communication|
|Chapter 2||Communication That Blocks Compassion|
|Chapter 3||Observing Without Evaluating|
|Chapter 4||Identifying and Expressing Feelings|
|Chapter 5||Taking Responsibility for Our Feelings|
|Chapter 6||Requesting That Which Would Enrich Life|
|Chapter 7||Receiving Empathically|
|Chapter 8||The Power of Empathy|
|Chapter 9||Expressing Anger Fully|
|Chapter 10||The Protective Use of Force|
|Chapter 11||Liberating Ourselves and Counseling Others|
|Chapter 12||Expressing Appreciation in Nonviolent Communication|
Posted May 19, 2001
Since first discovering Nonviolent Communication several months ago through reading this book, NVC has catalyzed a process of clarification/healing/empowerment in me that I could never have imagined. This process has impacted every area of my life and continues to unfold. I have come to deeply value what NVC teaches. For me, it unifies the spiritual truths I've found in all the world's religions. Especially precious to me is the fact that it facilitates and strengthens mutually nourishing connections to others. I love it that it's taught as a skill, one human being to fully empowered fellow human beings, and that its truths are experientially testable. In my view, its challenge to imagine 'life-serving systems' (a phrase which comes from the mission statement of the Center for Nonviolent Communication) couldn't be more timely or more truly life-serving in today's world. I'm remembering Marshall Rosenberg saying in a workshop something to the effect that all the great religions have 'love' at their heart, and 'I'm just trying to figure out how to do that.' I stand in awe of the model this book teaches as a means of learning how to 'do' love and in awe of its elegant simplicity.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted May 22, 2009
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