Not Like My Mother: Becoming a sane parent after growing up in a CRAZY family. [NOOK Book]

Overview

Not Like My Mother – Becoming a sane parent after growing up in a crazy family
By Irene Tomkinson, MSW

WHAT HAS BEEN SAID ABOUT IRENE…

“A successful therapist, Irene is a gifted teacher and communicator. She takes complicated psychological constructs and puts them into language that is easily understood. She weaves her own powerful story of recovery and spiritual awakening into her teaching. I wish I had read this book when my kids were ...

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Not Like My Mother: Becoming a sane parent after growing up in a CRAZY family.

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Overview

Not Like My Mother – Becoming a sane parent after growing up in a crazy family
By Irene Tomkinson, MSW

WHAT HAS BEEN SAID ABOUT IRENE…

“A successful therapist, Irene is a gifted teacher and communicator. She takes complicated psychological constructs and puts them into language that is easily understood. She weaves her own powerful story of recovery and spiritual awakening into her teaching. I wish I had read this book when my kids were younger. It would have saved so much angst. Her book and workshops have opened my eyes. My relationship with my children is better than it has ever been...not just with my children but with everyone…including the relationship I have with myself.”
Bonnie P. (workshop participant) ….go to Irene’s website to see more testimonials

WHAT IRENE SAYS….
You love your children more than you knew you could ever love. You also know you grew up in a crazy- dysfunctional family. And you are definite that you want your kids to have a much different childhood than you had.

How are you going to do it? I-am-not-doing-to-my-kids-what-my-parents-did-to-me method of parenting is not a plan – it is a reaction. If you want to build a dream house you don’t call a contractor and only give him a list of what you don’t want. There would be no house. And you don’t want your new home to be built on a toxic foundation.

Until we know how our childhoods landed on us and what we did with the impact, our history will push us around in our present lives without our permission.
As we become conscious of our stories and learn how our history landed on us, we find compassion for ourselves. This compassion releases us to move forward. We learn how to discharge the voltage that keeps us stuck in our old story.

Becoming conscious of our childhood story is more than being able to recite the events. Becoming conscious is learning how your experiences made you feel and what you did with those feelings.

In Not Like My Mother, I share my story as a therapist for 25 years, my training as an early childhood specialist, my years of leading workshop and retreats that have helped thousands of people find empowerment and freedom. And most importantly I share my own story of recovery as a mom who went from asking “Parenting when is the @#$% job done” (I was asking this when my girls were 35 & 36!) to recognizing how my daughters are my teachers and how they have been a big part in the healing of my childhood pain. I have moved from being a parent with a not-going-to-do-it-like-my-mother plan to a parent who is able to show up as the best parent I can possibly be.

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Product Details

  • BN ID: 2940011346569
  • Publisher: Irene Tomkinson
  • Publication date: 5/26/2011
  • Sold by: Smashwords
  • Format: eBook
  • Sales rank: 30,213
  • File size: 422 KB

Meet the Author

Irene is a successful therapist, born teacher and communicator. She and her husband, David, have run their New Hampshire retreat and counseling center, Pathways to Personal Growth for over 25 years. Together they have empowered thousands of people. Irene through humor and her powerful story of recovery and spiritual unfoldment is able to give complicated psychological constructs a language that is easily understood. Go to www.irenetomkinson.com meet Irene through video and read what her clients and workshop participants have to say about her.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 20 )
Rating Distribution

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(16)

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Sort by: Showing all of 20 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 11, 2012

    Excellent

    Wasn't sure what to expect, but what i got was a great story that could have been my own. All of us that grew up in a "crazy" family should read this book! Reai, sound, in your face honesty with much sound advice. I will read it a second time and ponder the great questions she has at the end of each chapter. A great safety line to sanity!!!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 30, 2015

    This could be my story

    After a lifetime of couseling, I finally have the answers I was looking for. Thank you this book. The title caught my eye because my mother had Borderline Personality Disorder. We lived with extreme behavior every day, as well as, being raised in Catholic school with shame and guilt as a way of life. Your story explained things to me in a way so I finally reached that "a ha" moment of clarity. Thank you so much for this book. It has made a world of difference in my outlook.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 1, 2014

    Ms

    Glad this book was available...good read.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 29, 2014

    A wonderful book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Everybody needs to read this amazing book. So, trie to read this if you get the chance too.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 28, 2013

    Helpful...

    If you had a crazy childhood, you need to read this. It'll show you the tools you need to deal with your past and protect your future.

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  • Posted July 17, 2013

    This was essentially a self- help book. It has some good advice

    This was essentially a self- help book. It has some good advice interspersed with stories about the authors mother, step fathers, and her own daughters. Nothing particularly new but if you are new to the self help genre this might give you some insight.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 22, 2012

    Comical

    Interesting but not my type of read...

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 25, 2012

    A++++ Great book!!!

    This book has really opened my eyes on my childhood and how i bury everything far inside of me. It was very hard to put this book down. If you dont read this book for yourself then maybe you can use it to help others!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 18, 2008

    Quick Read

    Not Like My Mother is an easy read that is written with wit and humor. Irene relates her life story with total honesty. As I read Irene¿s story, I saw how I too parented to make up for what I didn¿t get growing up, instead of what may have been in the best interest of my daughter. I wish I had found this book when my daughter was younger so that I could have come from a state of awareness instead of trying to give my child what I didn¿t get growing up. I was fortunate enough to attend one of Irene¿s parenting workshops and I was able to heal deep seated parenting guilt. I recommend this book for anyone raising children.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 23, 2008

    Not Like My Mother is a must read.

    Irene¿s personal, humorous, and insightful writing style allowed me to initially romp through the pages picking and choosing what resonated on the surface, while her presence and heartfelt stories motivated me to explore my own life more deeply by both rereading the text and writing in response to the offered prompts. Irene¿s willingness to share her stories allowed me to look inward at my behavior as a child and my expectations of my parents, as an aunt and my expectations toward my niece and nephew, and as a counselor and the stories my clients share and my response in return. There is something for everyone regardless of being a parent or not. Irene offers herself not to say, 'Here is the right way to do it,' but rather, to say, 'Here¿s how I did it and what worked for me and what didn¿t, and perhaps some reasons why.' Irene¿s honesty was infectious, and I found myself willingly looking inward with the same courage to reveal my shadow side with humility and grace. I learned from Irene¿s experiences and with awareness I have the ability to truly change. Nancy Eichhorn M.Ed., M.A.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 18, 2008

    Amazingly insightful - a MUST read!

    Not Like My Mother is an inspirational and candid observation of parenting from accomplished holistic therapist, Irene Tomkinson workshop leader, motivational speaker, and first-time author. Throughout this thoroughly enjoyable book, Irene draws upon experiences from her intimate life journey and decades of professional knowledge. Her chronicles impart a realistic yet humorous look at both the pitfalls and joys of parenting. However, this is not just another book about parenting. It is also a book for non-parents loaded with heartfelt experiences and nonjudgmental guidance about learning to unconditionally love yourself and others. Irene is truly an exceptional teacher and her book is a rare gem - so take some time and treat yourself! Everyone has something to learn and grow from in Not Like My Mother. Once you pick it up, you will have a difficult time putting it down it is simply that good!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 18, 2008

    Insightful, helpful and fun to read!

    I read this book in two days. It was quick and easy. I¿m now going to re-read it slowly, and to take the time to do the questions and exercises at the end of each chapter. First time thru I was so intrigued to see what happened next that I just didn¿t take the time for those. I¿m not a parent (yet!) and I got A LOT out of Not Like My Mother. I have a better understanding of what my parents were going thru and as such, I bring more compassion to my relationship with each of them. I also have some interesting thinking to do about what kind of mom I plan to be when my kids start to arrive soon. I love how the author was able to draw on her own experiences with her addiction and her relationship with God without being preachy or putting it in my face. I hope she does a workshop near me! I¿d stand in line for tickets.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 3, 2008

    A reviewer

    Not Like My Mother - a brilliant book that reads like story instead of a tedious, self-help manual. What's most amazing is that you do NOT have to be a parent to enjoy this book and learn a thing or two from it. I have no children and found it to be extremely enlightening in the discovery of many traits and behavioral patterns I exhibit in my own adult life. Irene hits the nail on the head with her knowledge and insight, and she delivers it with humor and an easy-going writing style. There is something here for everyone, and you will want to read Not Like My Mother more than once. I hope Irene is already working on her next book!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 9, 2008

    A reviewer

    How many times have we said, 'I will never parent like my mother' and then we proceed to do just that? Irene's book explains why we try to be the parent we needed rather than be the parent our kids need. It also gives us hope that all is not lost. 'Not Like My Mother' is a quick and easy read that is a must have for every parent or for anyone who will become a parent.

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    Posted February 27, 2013

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    Posted August 18, 2010

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    Posted November 11, 2013

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 7, 2014

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 28, 2015

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 5, 2013

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