Not of My Making: Bullying, Scapegoating and Misconduct in Churches
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Not of My Making: Bullying, Scapegoating and Misconduct in Churches

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by Margaret W. Jones, Steven Wiley Emmett
     
 

Margaret's father said no one would ever want her. Her classmates called her "Reject." She believed them. She tried to be what others wanted and expected. She failed. Bullied at home and at school, the church provided a safe haven. Kneeling under the crucifix, she believed Jesus would protect her. He didn't.

Declaring God irrelevant, Margaret abandoned

Overview

Margaret's father said no one would ever want her. Her classmates called her "Reject." She believed them. She tried to be what others wanted and expected. She failed. Bullied at home and at school, the church provided a safe haven. Kneeling under the crucifix, she believed Jesus would protect her. He didn't.

Declaring God irrelevant, Margaret abandoned Christianity. But when she was lonely or scared she would slip into the back of the nearest church and take comfort in the familiar sight, smells and sounds.

Eventually she joined a congregation and felt spiritually nourished. Then, like a sleeping volcano, conflict erupted, and she was accused of being the problem, nearly shattering her faith, her life and her marriage. While she salvaged what she could from the destruction, she discovered she could only try to live well, hurting as few people as possible while not letting others drag her down.

Not of My Making is the account of how Margaret came to discover that God had a place for her, even when churches didn't.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780980149104
Publisher:
Pluck Press
Publication date:
06/01/2008
Edition description:
MARGARET W. JONES
Pages:
411
Product dimensions:
5.80(w) x 8.30(h) x 0.90(d)

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Not of My Making 4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 1 reviews.
CarolWelch-oneperson More than 1 year ago
Dr. Jones' candor and transparency is inspiring and empowering. Her openness about the internal turmoil brought on by trauma (within what should be a place of healing) and her honesty about her own struggles is moving and validating. The book wasn't easy for me to read. I realize one reason for that is because it was painful to read, stunningly painful. As I read, I would find myself getting tense and uncomfortable. I found myself wanting the author to walk away from all of it. I found myself wondering if I had walked away from my particular circumstances too soon, wondering if I had tried hard enough...should I try again. I also found validation and more courage in my own voice. I can't say that I completely know how Margaret felt; I don't know if we ever know exactly how another feels. However I do relate with her circumstances and I can say she put into words brilliantly, compassionately, and authentically the soul wrenching one wrestles with when one's being, one's trust, and one's core is shattered...the emotions, thoughts, self-doubt, self-hatred, vacillation, distrust, hope, confusion, shame, desperation, complexity, determination, responsibility, blame, anger, and all the 'stuff' in between. It seems she shows every angle of endeavoring to right a situation, of trying to understand what happened. In so doing, she shares lots of detail that some readers may find tedious. Yet, it is those details that convey how very entangled social groups can become. Relaying those details helped me, giving myself more permission so to speak, to continue to untangle and understand my own toxic group experiences. I was thrilled when I read the final chapter, "Breaking the Silence." I wanted to jump up and down like a cheerleader. Yes! Yes! Yes! I tasted empowerment and freedom. This memoir takes one on a journey into the midst of a web of toxic relationships and one woman's struggle to respond with integrity, empowerment, humbleness, and hope. "Not of My Making"....what powerful words to help curb blaming the victim. I'll remember them.