Notes from a Totally Lame Vampire: Because the Undead Have Feelings Too!

( 28 )

Overview

Nigel Mullet isn't your typical teenager . . . he's a vampire. But unfortunately, when Nigel transformed he didn't become all broody and interesting, and as for super strength and speed . . . well, forget it! Instead he's got acne, a voice that squeaks, a tendency to break out in a rash (not sparkles!) when exposed to the sun, and absolutely no idea how to talk to girls.

When a beautiful new girl moves into the neighborhood, Nigel is determined to win her heart but first he's ...

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Notes from a Totally Lame Vampire: Because the Undead Have Feelings Too!

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Overview

Nigel Mullet isn't your typical teenager . . . he's a vampire. But unfortunately, when Nigel transformed he didn't become all broody and interesting, and as for super strength and speed . . . well, forget it! Instead he's got acne, a voice that squeaks, a tendency to break out in a rash (not sparkles!) when exposed to the sun, and absolutely no idea how to talk to girls.

When a beautiful new girl moves into the neighborhood, Nigel is determined to win her heart but first he's got to figure out how. In the meantime, he writes about her in his diary and composes really bad love poetry that he will recite to her one day, if he can work up the courage to tell her the truth. Can Nigel win the girl and the respect of his family—or is he destined to be a totally lame vampire forever?

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"This book has a witty, laugh-out-loud story line and cartoon illustrations that are liberally sprinkled throughout. Readers will sympathize with Nigel and his teen angst, and the great ending makes this a satisfying and entertaining read."–Donna Rosenblum, Floral Park Memorial High School, NY

- SLJ, December 2010

Children's Literature - Kirsten Shaw
Nigel Mullet was turned into a vampire by his parents in England at the age of fifteen and will forever remain an awkward teenager. The beauty, speed, and strength that accompany the undead seemed to have skipped over Nigel, and he lives in a constant state of humiliation. His little sister can beat him to a pulp and he must rely on his parents to bring his blood home for him. When new girl Chloe moves in town, Nigel falls hopelessly in love with her and must count only on his charm with a little help from his "righteous" poetry to woo her. Told in diary form, this book is a riot from beginning to end and when the eternal underdog Nigel finally comes into his own as a vampire, you can't help but cheer for him. Fans of the "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" and "Dork Diaries" series will love this book as it gives the story of the awkward underdog a little paranormal bite. Reviewer: Kirsten Shaw
School Library Journal
Gr 6–9—In many ways, Nigel is your average teenage boy next door. He spends most of his time worrying about getting a girlfriend, fitting in, and dealing with acne. But things are even more complicated for him since he is also a vampire. Transformed by a couple who wanted children, Nigel must spend the rest of his life as a 15-year-old. That wouldn't be so bad if he were a vampire like Emmett or Edward Cullen, but he lacks their good looks, supernatural strength, and great sex appeal. Instead he is boring and unattractive, and suffers from acne breakouts when exposed to the sun. Then Nigel falls head over heels for the new girl in school. Now he spends his time plotting ways to get Chloe to notice he's "alive" while writing pathetic poetry declaring his love. Originally published in Great Britain as Diary of a Wimpy Vampire, this book has a witty, laugh-out-loud story line and cartoon illustrations that are liberally sprinkled throughout. Readers will sympathize with Nigel and his teen angst, and the great ending makes this a satisfying and entertaining read.—Donna Rosenblum, Floral Park Memorial High School, NY
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781442411838
  • Publisher: Aladdin
  • Publication date: 8/24/2010
  • Pages: 336
  • Sales rank: 145,167
  • Age range: 10 - 12 Years
  • Lexile: 1030L (what's this?)
  • Product dimensions: 5.84 (w) x 11.06 (h) x 1.08 (d)

Meet the Author

Tim Collins is the author of ten books and has contributed to many magazines and newspapers. Originally from Manchester, he now lives in London.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 28 )
Rating Distribution

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(22)

4 Star

(5)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 28 Customer Reviews
  • Posted October 3, 2011

    Highly Recommended

    My 10 yr old daughter read this book cover to cover (aloud to me) and we thoroughly enjoyed it. Nigel throws out some great sarcasm that made my daughter giggle aloud. She wont read another book until she reads Part II - Prince of Dorkness. ~Susie

    8 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 31, 2011

    If you like Diary of a Wimpy kid, you'll love this.

    My friend has this book and she let me read it. And from page one, I was hooked. Even though he's a vampire, he's just like every other teenager. You can relate to him(sort of). And it's a really funny book. If you like/love Diary of a Wimpy kid, you should get this. It's awesome.

    7 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 4, 2011

    Worth a read

    I picked up this book on a whim. I get tired of all the vampire books that are currently popular and thought this was an interesting alternative. Definitely worth it! I laughed out loud numerous times. I look forward to more books from Tim Collins.

    7 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 17, 2011

    I Also Recommend:

    Highly Recommended

    This book is strictly for young kids it is a EXCELLENT book any child will have a great time reading this book , as me im a pre-teen and im going to purchase rhe part 2 of this book , any child that does not enjoy reading will have a good time reading this book. As for Tim Collins he is a very great author I hope Mr.Collins has more parts of this book

    5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 20, 2011

    My review

    Havent read yet but #2's good

    3 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 9, 2011

    Histerical!

    Absolutely histerical for those of us that have followed a lot of the vampire lore out there. Oh yeah, not bad for kids too.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted March 13, 2011

    unusual

    i didnt buy this off my nook. i bought the actual book itself and. i thought it was kinda cute!! and funny too.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 9, 2011

    She loves it!

    My 10 year old daughter just loved this book. It is written in the style of "Diary of A Wimpy Kid" with text that appears handwritten and lots of clever drawings. As soon as she finished it, she wanted to read another by the same author. Unfortunately, it appears this is the only one. Too bad!

    3 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 20, 2012

    Amazing work!

    Now go to the first result of winner.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 24, 2012

    Awsome!

    Awsome book it totally is awsome! I am going to buy the next book!

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 30, 2013

    Omg

    Omg i loved it its fun funny tim collin make a 3rd

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 25, 2013

    YESID YES I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:):):):):):):):)::::):):):)):):):):(:))))):)


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  • Posted March 2, 2011

    ..........

    bbbbbbbbbbooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    0 out of 10 people found this review helpful.

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    Posted September 18, 2010

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    Posted April 19, 2013

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    Posted May 8, 2012

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    Posted April 9, 2011

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    Posted September 9, 2010

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    Posted December 28, 2010

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