Notes from a Totally Lame Vampire: Because the Undead Have Feelings Too! by Tim Collins, Andrew Pinder |, NOOK Book (eBook) | Barnes & Noble
Notes from a Totally Lame Vampire: Because the Undead Have Feelings Too!

Notes from a Totally Lame Vampire: Because the Undead Have Feelings Too!

4.6 28
by Tim Collins, Andrew Pinder
     
 

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Nigel Mullet isn't your typical teenager . . . he's a vampire. But unfortunately, when Nigel transformed he didn't become all broody and interesting, and as for super strength and speed . . . well, forget it! Instead he's got acne, a voice that squeaks, a tendency to break out in a rash (not sparkles!) when exposed to the sun, and absolutely no idea how to talk to

Overview

Nigel Mullet isn't your typical teenager . . . he's a vampire. But unfortunately, when Nigel transformed he didn't become all broody and interesting, and as for super strength and speed . . . well, forget it! Instead he's got acne, a voice that squeaks, a tendency to break out in a rash (not sparkles!) when exposed to the sun, and absolutely no idea how to talk to girls.

When a beautiful new girl moves into the neighborhood, Nigel is determined to win her heart but first he's got to figure out how. In the meantime, he writes about her in his diary and composes really bad love poetry that he will recite to her one day, if he can work up the courage to tell her the truth. Can Nigel win the girl and the respect of his family--or is he destined to be a totally lame vampire forever?

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"This book has a witty, laugh-out-loud story line and cartoon illustrations that are liberally sprinkled throughout. Readers will sympathize with Nigel and his teen angst, and the great ending makes this a satisfying and entertaining read."–Donna Rosenblum, Floral Park Memorial High School, NY

- SLJ, December 2010

Children's Literature - Kirsten Shaw
Nigel Mullet was turned into a vampire by his parents in England at the age of fifteen and will forever remain an awkward teenager. The beauty, speed, and strength that accompany the undead seemed to have skipped over Nigel, and he lives in a constant state of humiliation. His little sister can beat him to a pulp and he must rely on his parents to bring his blood home for him. When new girl Chloe moves in town, Nigel falls hopelessly in love with her and must count only on his charm with a little help from his "righteous" poetry to woo her. Told in diary form, this book is a riot from beginning to end and when the eternal underdog Nigel finally comes into his own as a vampire, you can't help but cheer for him. Fans of the "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" and "Dork Diaries" series will love this book as it gives the story of the awkward underdog a little paranormal bite. Reviewer: Kirsten Shaw
School Library Journal
Gr 6–9—In many ways, Nigel is your average teenage boy next door. He spends most of his time worrying about getting a girlfriend, fitting in, and dealing with acne. But things are even more complicated for him since he is also a vampire. Transformed by a couple who wanted children, Nigel must spend the rest of his life as a 15-year-old. That wouldn't be so bad if he were a vampire like Emmett or Edward Cullen, but he lacks their good looks, supernatural strength, and great sex appeal. Instead he is boring and unattractive, and suffers from acne breakouts when exposed to the sun. Then Nigel falls head over heels for the new girl in school. Now he spends his time plotting ways to get Chloe to notice he's "alive" while writing pathetic poetry declaring his love. Originally published in Great Britain as Diary of a Wimpy Vampire, this book has a witty, laugh-out-loud story line and cartoon illustrations that are liberally sprinkled throughout. Readers will sympathize with Nigel and his teen angst, and the great ending makes this a satisfying and entertaining read.—Donna Rosenblum, Floral Park Memorial High School, NY

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781442423183
Publisher:
Aladdin
Publication date:
08/24/2010
Sold by:
SIMON & SCHUSTER
Format:
NOOK Book
Pages:
336
Lexile:
1030L (what's this?)
File size:
6 MB
Age Range:
10 - 14 Years

Meet the Author

Tim Collins is the author of ten books and has contributed to many magazines and newspapers. Originally from Manchester, he now lives in London.

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