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Children's LiteratureAfter locating, then catching, a spooked Kentucky Derby contender, Frank and Joe (aka The Hardy Boys) set out to prove the innocence of their hapless buddy, Chet (brother of Frank's airhead girlfriend, Iola). It seems while Chet was bidding on a harmless Internet item, someone used his account to purchase a famous jewel, "The Ocean of Osyria." To clear his name, the brothers travel to Osyria (with girlfriends in tow). Using brains, brawn, and GPS navigation, the Hardys track down the thieves and the jewel, only to be held at gunpoint! Luckily, they escape...but find themselves lost in the desert. Luckily, again, their girlfriends rescue them. Then they locate the exact right locker in the exact right building where the jewel is being kept. Then it is taken again by an evil villain. Luckily, he's throwing a costume party that very night! Donning clever disguises, the Hardys and their girlfriends sneak in and catch the bad guy just in time! This contemporary version of The Hardy Boys is a strange blend of 2006 technology and terminology, peppered with corny, poorly written phrases like, "Nobody ever won a game because they gave up trying." The story itself is confusing and contrived and, except for hair color, there's no distinguishing Joe from Jack. I mean, Frank. Furthermore, the illustrations are so confusing, it is even hard to tell blond-haired Joe from his blonde girlfriend! There are just too many good books out there to waste time, or money, on this one. 2005, Papercutz/Simon & Schuster, Ages 12 to 14.