Uncle Maynard Simple: I'd like to buy a sleeping bag.
Salesclerk Delbert Dumm: I'm sorry, sir, but they're all awake.
Mrs. Simple: What do you think of the school band, dear?
Mr. Simple: I think it should be.
Mrs. Simple: Should be what?
Mr. Simple: Banned.
Teacher: Susie, give me an example of a double negative.
Susie Simple: But you said a double negative is a no-no.
And hundreds more!