Older Women, Younger Men: New Options for Love and Romance

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Overview

It's out there — in the press, on the internet and emblazoned on the glossiest magazine covers: romance rule breaker, the union of older women and younger men. Whether couples marry or live together, the popularity of "age gap" relationships is undoubtedly on the rise. Despite the statistics and the acceptance of such relationships among celebrities, negative stereotypes that surround these romances prevent many older women from having the happy and loving union for which they long; for these older women have not been open to finding a mate from within the large pool of younger men.

In their provocative, groundbreaking guide, Felicia Brings and Susan ...

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More About This Book

Overview

It's out there — in the press, on the internet and emblazoned on the glossiest magazine covers: romance rule breaker, the union of older women and younger men. Whether couples marry or live together, the popularity of "age gap" relationships is undoubtedly on the rise. Despite the statistics and the acceptance of such relationships among celebrities, negative stereotypes that surround these romances prevent many older women from having the happy and loving union for which they long; for these older women have not been open to finding a mate from within the large pool of younger men.

In their provocative, groundbreaking guide, Felicia Brings and Susan Winter, both of whom have had long-term relationships with younger men, shatter the myths as they share their thoughts and the experiences of over 200 couples on everything from sex to dealing with her family and his, to handling the criticisms and comments of peers. Advice is delivered with large doses of empowerment, humor and compassion that will help make the brave new world of relationship potential between older women and younger men lead to lasting love.

Editorial Reviews

Here's a book for women of a certain age who know they aren't just cars whose "end value [is] based on an odometer reading." Brings and Winter disarmingly and persuasively contend that a woman has the right to be openly and lovingly involved with a man at least a decade younger regardless of the "ignorance, myths and false beliefs" of a society that sees such relationships as less than "A-list."

Engagingly written by two successful career women, the book is based upon interviews with older women, younger men, their families, and experts in psychology, psychotherapy, social work, and relationship counseling. Based upon the premise that women have more choices today than in the past, the book argues that what was once mandatory, such as marrying for status or security, is now optional. As a result, new "relationship archetypes" are emerging, this being one of the more viable and exciting ones, owing to its "wonderful mystical quality and powerful dynamism." That a manual now exists for such "relationship pioneers" is an acknowledgment that iconoclasm is often necessary, but rarely easy.

Delivering on its promise to provide guidance on both the perks and pitfalls of such a union, the book provides convincing examples and anecdotes showing that a young man's exuberance may provide the "high voltage charge that can jump-start a woman's otherwise very orderly, settled and structured life." Most of the chapters, however, address the pitfalls, but not the reasons for them, other than briefly attributing them to society's benightedness or to cultural patriarchy. The book looks unsparingly at ways to work with the problems of financial disparity in the relationship, the awkwardness of social gatherings, and what obstacles to expect in dealing with the younger man's family, especially his mother who can often be a pit bull in disguise. Especially good are the bulleted lists of recommendations on how to react when judged by others, and tipsheets on interpreting and answering peoples' comments.

What the book lacks is more information about the couples interviewed. The research tends to support financially successful career woman and well-centered young men whose intentions exist somewhere in the rarefied air of the ideal. Not all women are more successful than younger men, and while bad boys are discussed, the book won't entertain the idea of there being any Mrs. Robinsons.

Overall, the book handles a timely, yet touchy, subject in a tasteful manner. Besides, since love is blind, who's to argue that "when it's the right match, age is not an issue"?

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780882822006
  • Publisher: New Horizon Press
  • Publication date: 9/1/2000
  • Pages: 198
  • Sales rank: 348,826
  • Product dimensions: 6.00 (w) x 9.20 (h) x 0.48 (d)
Customer Reviews
Average Rating 4.5
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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 19, 2003

    KUDOS

    I found this book to be Long Long overdue. As a 51 year old, who looks 10-15 years younger I have always been approached by and have dated younger men. I am additionally amazed at the number of women who would never consider it as an option. Contrary to the review, the pitfalls are in essence what they were explained to be. Due to a male controlled society, women have not been given the same options as have their male counterparts. There are innumerable movies with men 10, 20, 30 and more years older than their love interests and no one bats an eye. Yet when stunning Demi Moore dates a male only 15 years yournger than herself, one would think it was a major international incident. Let's not make it more complicated that it is. As a woman who cycles, travels abroad and put herself through grad school, I am not interested in an out of shape couch potato who wants to tell me how to run my life. My only criticsm is there needed to be more mention of famous women of diverse backgrounds who have chosen that route Tina Turner, Patty Labelle, Roberta Flack et al.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 6, 2001

    Needing answers

    This book will become my 'bible.' I am only 54, widowed last year for the 2nd time, and facing a voluntary early retirement. I have only recently 'reawakened' to find myself hungry for life again. Although several factors have influenced my reawakening, one happens to be a passionate involvement with a much younger man. I fit the stereotype of both men and women who criticize these situations. This book has opened my eyes and my heart. I can now fully understand why and how women who find this kind of love will cherish it forever. And I understand why younger men will make long standing committments to older women. This book will save me from ruining something very precious, and it may save me from a broken heart!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 3, 2001

    older and wiser

    the book rocked......send on the young men

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