On the Meaning of Friendship Between Gay Men


Is friendship more important than sex?

On the Meaning of Friendship Between Gay Men takes readers beyond an exploration of gay sexuality into the importance of friendship, providing deep insights into a range of dimensions, including Mentorship, Spirituality, Survival, and Partnership. Leading gay authors offer a wide range of perspectives in this intimate and very ...
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On the Meaning of Friendship Between Gay Men

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Is friendship more important than sex?

On the Meaning of Friendship Between Gay Men takes readers beyond an exploration of gay sexuality into the importance of friendship, providing deep insights into a range of dimensions, including Mentorship, Spirituality, Survival, and Partnership. Leading gay authors offer a wide range of perspectives in this intimate and very accessible book.

Other texts on the subject approach it from a more academic bent. But this one offers readers of all types an easy-to-read, enjoyable way to contemplate what friendship means to them. Seventeen essays grouped into eight chapters discuss diverse perspectives on the crucial and personal issue of friendship, or what Editor Andrew R. Gottlieb calls, "a family of choice."

Contributors include:

• Eric Aoki
• Michael Biello and Dan Martin
• Jeffrey Dudgeon
• E. M. Kahn
• Neil Kaminsky
• Vincent A. Lankewish
• Thomas Lawrence Long
• Ed Madden
• Jeff Mann
• Chris Packard
• Felice Picano
• Jay Quinn
• Frederick S. Roden
• Michael E. Thomas II
• Marc E. Vargo
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What People Are Saying

Michael F. Hoyt
CHARMING . . . a brief orientation to many of the key issues involved in Haley's strategic approach, case after case arranged along a life-cycle continuum, plus fascinating interviews illuminating key figures and moments in the history of family therapy—SHOULD SPARK THE IMAGINATION OF READERS INTERESTED IN CHANGING THE INTERACTION BETWEEN PEOPLE TO BRING ABOUT POSITIVE OUTCOMES. (Michael F. Hoyt, PhD, author of Some Stories are Better than Others, Interviews with Brief Therapy Experts, and The Present is a Gift: Mo' Better Stories from the World of Brief Therapy)
David Bergman
THESE ESSAYS GIVE VOICE TO THE ENERGIES THAT GAY MEN GIVE TO FRIENDSHIPS, to how instrumental friendships are in the way they come to understand their sexuality and themselves, and how—especially to the most reclusive—friendships become a bridge to a wider world. What surprised me is how deeply AIDS permeates essay after essay and has come to define and transform the meaning of gay friendship. One must go back more than a decade to John Preston and Michael Lowenthal's collection Friends and Lovers to find a volume as ELOQUENT about the role of friendship in gay men's lives. (David Bergman, PhD, Professor of English, Towson University; Author of The Violet Hour: The Violet Quill and the Making of Gay Culture)
Eric O. Clarke
One of the most striking things about this collection is the easy integration of personal narrative and cultural analysis. Each of the essays incorporates life stories with acute observations about their meaning within gay male culture and the culture at large. . . . By reading these essays not only can gay men learn more about the value of their own attachments, but also anyone who has valued friendship will find the resources for imagining an infinitely diverse life with others. (Eric O. Clarke, PhD, Associate Professor of English, University of Pittsburgh)
A. A. Markley
A RICH VARIETY OF CONTEMPORARY PERSPECTIVES ON THE COMPLEXITY OF FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN GAY MEN TODAY. The essays range from Jeff Mann's poignant tribute to an early gay mentor, to Michael Thomas's auspicious internet hook-up, to Marc Vargo's tale of finding a new circle of support in Katrina's aftermath. A serendipitous highlight is Vincent Lankewish's touching account of coming to terms with a sense of otherness in the emotional high of male-bonding on the dance floor. Another unexpected high point is found in E. M. Kahn's thought-provoking recognition of how we transition from potential lovers to potential mentors in the eyes of younger men. Certainly one of the collection's finest pieces is Felice Picano's haunting portrait of a troubled roommate who somehow just wasn't made for this world. . . .Bears witness to the many unconventional and creative ways in which gay men continue to construct their relationships with friends, lovers, mentors, and companions in a world that has grown all too familiar with loneliness and loss. (A. A. Markley, Associate Professor of English, Penn State University, Delaware County)
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780789033543
  • Publisher: Taylor & Francis
  • Publication date: 4/20/2008
  • Edition number: 1
  • Pages: 184
  • Sales rank: 1,299,906
  • Product dimensions: 8.70 (w) x 5.90 (h) x 0.50 (d)

Meet the Author

Andrew R. Gottlieb, is a clinical supervisor at the Corona Elmhurst Guidance Center in Jackson Heights, New York and maintains a private psychotherapy practice in downtown Brooklyn. He is also on the editorial board of the Journal of GLBT Family Studies. His previous works include Out of the Twilight: Fathers of Gay Men Speak (2000), Sons Talk About Their Gay Fathers: Life Curves (2003), Side by Side: On Having a Gay or Lesbian Sibling (2005), and (with Jerry J. Bigner) Interventions with Families of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender People: From the Inside Out (2006), all Haworth Press books. Visit his Web site at: www.andrewrgottlieb.com.

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Table of Contents

About the Editor. Contributors. Acknowledgments. Introduction. Andrew R. Gottlieb. I: TOWARD A DEFINITION OF GAY MALE FRIENDSHIP. 1. Why “Friendship” Works—and Doesn’t. Frederick S. Roden. II: ON FRIENDSHIP AND MENTORSHIP. 2. 715 Willey Street. Jeff Mann. 3. Time and Tide. Marc E. Vargo. 4. The Grounds On Which We Met: Friendship and the Possible. Ed Madden. III: ON FRIENDSHIP AND THE GROUP. 5. Larry, Me, and The Family. Neil Kaminsky. 6. Circuitries of Friendship: Camaraderie and Collectivity on the Gay Dance Floor. Vincent A. Lankewish. IV: ON FRIENDSHIP AND SEXUALITY. 7. A Towel and a TV. Michael E. Thomas II. 8. More Was Better: Sex with Friends. Chris Packard. 9. The Crossing. E. M. Kahn. 10. The Country Club. Michael E. Thomas II. V: ON FRIENDSHIP AND SPIRITUALITY 11. Soul Friend. Thomas Lawrence Long. VI: ON FRIENDSHIP AND BEING ALONE. 12. A String Theory of Friendship. Jay Quinn. 13. Not Quite There. Felice Picano. 14. The Absence: Living Everyday Life Without Gay Male Friends. Eric Aoki. VII: ON FRIENDSHIP AND SURVIVAL. 15. Friends: When Are They Necessary? Jeffrey Dudgeon. 16. Notes from the Apocalypse: A Week with Katrina. Marc E. Vargo. VIII: ON FRIENDSHIP AND PARTNERSHIP. 17. Subject: Friendship. Dan Martin and Michael Biello.

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