Opening Up: A Guide To Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships [NOOK Book]

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Overview

Relationship expert and bestselling author Tristan Taormino offers a bold new strategy for creating loving, lasting relationships. Drawing on in-depth interviews with over a hundred women and men, Opening Up explores the real-life benefits and challenges of all styles of open relationships — from partnered non-monogamy to solo polyamory. With her refreshingly down-to-earth style and sharp wit, Taormino offers solutions for making an open relationship work, including tips on dealing with jealousy, negotiating boundaries, finding community, parenting and time management. Opening Up will change the way you think about intimacy.
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More About This Book

Overview

Relationship expert and bestselling author Tristan Taormino offers a bold new strategy for creating loving, lasting relationships. Drawing on in-depth interviews with over a hundred women and men, Opening Up explores the real-life benefits and challenges of all styles of open relationships — from partnered non-monogamy to solo polyamory. With her refreshingly down-to-earth style and sharp wit, Taormino offers solutions for making an open relationship work, including tips on dealing with jealousy, negotiating boundaries, finding community, parenting and time management. Opening Up will change the way you think about intimacy.

Editorial Reviews

Library Journal

If you are looking for an everyday, run-of-the-mill relationship guide, this introduction to the world of nonmonogamy is probably not for you. Village Voice sex columnist Taormino, who has authored or edited a handful of guides on physical relationships (e.g., The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex), sheds light on the various types of open relations and shares tips on how these relationships can most successfully be maintained. Those put off by the book's premise shouldn't be: this is not so much an espousal of nonmonogamous relationships as it is a comprehensive guide to the phenomenon, offering numerous firsthand accounts from those involved in open relationships. With its modern twist on conventional relationships, her latest title would be best suited for contemporary nonfiction collections.
—Carolann Curry

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781573444972
  • Publisher: Cleis Press
  • Publication date: 5/5/2008
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 376
  • Sales rank: 54,618
  • File size: 540 KB

Meet the Author

Tristan Taormino is an award-winning author, columnist, editor, and sex educator. She is the editor of the Best Lesbian Erotica series and Hot Lesbian Erotica, and she is the author of Tristan Taormino’s True Lust, Down and Dirty Sex Secrets, and The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. Tristan is a columnist for the Village Voice, Taboo, and Velvet Park, and her writing has also appeared in Vibe, Spectator, The Advocate, and more than 15 anthologies. Tristan has been featured in more than 200 publications, including the New York Times, Redbook, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Entertainment Weekly, Details, New York magazine, Men’s Health, and Playboy. She has also appeared on CNN, MTV, Oxygen, the Discovery Channel, The Howard Stern Show, Ricki Lake, Real Sex, The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch, Scarborough Country, and over 50 radio shows. Tristan directed the adult videos The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, Tristan Taormino's House of Ass, and Chemistry. She has been a popular speaker and teacher at polyamory conferences, workshops, and community groups for more than 15 years. Tristan lives in New York City. Visit Tristan at puckerup.com.

Table of Contents


Introduction: Opening Up to the Possibilities: Challenging Monogamy and Revolutionizing Relationships     XIII
The Decline of Marriage and Monogamy
Monogamy's Mythology
Nonmonogamy as an Alternative Choice
My Research
Reading Opening Up
Choosing an Open Relationship
Pilots, Parties, and Polyamory: A Brief History     1
Swinging
Open Marriage
Multilateral Marriage
Gay Bathhouses and Sex Clubs
Lesbian Collectives and Sex Wars
Polyamory
Myths about Nonmonogamy     13
Is an Open Relationship for You?     19
Self-evaluation
Why People Choose Open Relationships
What Makes an Open Relationship Work?     33
Consent
Self-awareness
Communication
Honesty
Boundaries
Trust
Fidelity and Commitment
Styles of Open Relationships
Partnered Nonmonogamy     51
Definition
Examples
Potential Issues and Conflicts
Swinging     61
Definition
Beliefs and Attitudes
Swinging Styles
Community
Etiquette
Potential Issues and Conflicts
Polyamory     71
Definition
Beliefs and Attitudes
Hierarchical Poly
Nonprimary Partners
Nonhierarchical Poly
Nonsexual Poly Relationships
Solo Polyamory     87
Definition
Potential Issues and Conflicts
Polyfidelity     95
Definition
Benefits of Polyfidelity
Negotiation and Potential Issues
Monogamous/Nonmonogamous and Mono/Poly Combinations     111
Definition
Consent and Agreement
Potential Issues and Conflicts
Creating and Sustaining Your Relationships
Designing Your Open Relationship     121
Drawing the Outline
Filling in the Details
Negotiation
Rules and Agreements
The Myth of Equality
The Relationship Contract
Jealousy and Other Intense Feelings     153
Jealousy
Envy
Insecurity
Possessiveness
Feeling Excluded
Coping with Jealousy
Fear of Abandonment
Resentment
Compersion     173
Common Challenges and Problems     183
New Relationship Energy
Time Management
Miscommunication
Agreement Violation
Seeking Help
Opening Up Again: When Something Changes     203
A New Desire
A New Orientation
A New Relationship
Falling in Love
From Monogamous to Nonmonogamous
From Nonmonogamous to Monogamous
From Primary To Nonprimary
Coping with Change
Coming Out (or Not), Finding Community, Creating Families     227
Benefits of Coming Out
Risks of Coming Out
Deciding What's Right for You
Your Coming Out
Finding Community
Families, Tribes, and Networks
Raising Children     249
Benefits and Risks of Coming Out to Children
What to Consider Before You Tell Them
How to Tell Them
Practical Issues
Safer Sex and Sexual Health     263
Safer Sex
Sexually Transmitted Infections
Legal and Practical Issues     285
Housing Laws
Property Ownership
Employment Benefits
Legal Designations and Documents
Children
The Future of Relationships     295
Appendixes
Notes     301
Resource Guide     311
Books
Conferences and Events
GLBT/Queer
Local and Regional Organizations
National Organizations
Online Groups and Lists
Poly-friendly Professionals
Research and Activism
Spirituality
Websites
About the Interviewees     337
About the Author     345

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 7 )

Rating Distribution

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(3)

4 Star

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3 Star

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2 Star

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Sort by: Showing all of 7 Customer Reviews

  • Anonymous

    Posted May 24, 2012

    Best alternative relationship book ever!!!!

    This

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 20, 2012

    Highly recommend

    This book provide a comprehensive overview for anyone considering open partnerships. A must read. Tristan is a phenomenal writer

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Posted October 2, 2011

    Loved it in print

    I read this book when it first came out, and found it to be a very good read. I was already well-aquainted with polyamory, but this book offered such a wide variety of perspectives on the broader category of open relationships that I learned a lot from it. Very good as an introduction for the curious as well as a good way for those already practicing open relationships to expand their views.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 4, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted December 20, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted March 25, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted December 17, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

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