Read an Excerpt
"Dude, I’m not gay," I insisted, again. Hell, I almost shouted the words.
"Keep tellin’ yourself that, Ben, my man, maybe it’ll stick." Frank Rutherford, my roommate, smirked.
"Just because my best friend is gay doesn’t mean I am." I was exasperated and beyond tired with this recurring conversation.
"Whatever." Frank waved a hand as if dismissing me.
"What’s that supposed to mean?" I was so sick of defending myself against something I shouldn’t have to. I wiped a hand over my face and rubbed my eyes.
"Nothing. I’m late for a date. Later, man." Frank slammed the door behind him.
I was beyond relieved when my roommate left. We always got into this conversation and more and more lately it was getting hard to say the words 'I’m not gay'. I shouldn’t have to defend my straightness. Hell, didn’t I bag tons of co-eds? Last week alone I’d slept with Rita. Or was it Rhonda? I couldn’t remember. Maybe that was a bad thing, but I was happy with my life, wasn’t I? So what if sometimes I felt lonely. That was what Spencer was for, to have fun with. I enjoyed spending time with my best friend. I could hang out and not worry about...things.
That didn’t make me gay. Nope. Not at all.
What made me gay was being in love with Spencer Wilde. I banged my head on my desk as this realisation washed over me. I didn’t know what to do about it. Spencer was oblivious to my growing feelings and Frank didn’t help at all. And of course Spence was due here any minute. We were supposed to go to Comic-Con together. Spencer was a comic book nut and would drag me all over the place, but it was worth it to see the smile that would light up his eyes. We’d talked about going for a couple of years, but this was the first time we’d both been able to make it. It was only a day pass, but we’d make the most of it. We always managed to have fun.
Yeah, I had it bad.
And Frank was going to laugh his ass off once I finally told him I was in love with Spence. It still didn’t make me gay. At least I didn’t think so. No other man attracted me like Spence did. And I’d tried watching gay porn and had even gone to a gay bar and...nothing. There was just something about my best friend that drew me in and made me want more. It was becoming embarrassing when my cock jumped to attention any time Spence was around.
I should’ve been getting ready instead of worrying over things that I couldn’t change. I might never have had feelings for a man before, but that didn’t matter. I was a take-charge kind of guy and I was going to use the day to get Spence to finally notice that I wanted more than friendship.
Shit, I had no idea how to go about it. It would’ve been easier if Spence had been a girl, but I had no illusions as to who Spence really was. I’d have to cross that bridge when I came to it because, once I set my mind to something, it was mine.
So Operation: Get Spencer had to be planned in a short time. First things first, I needed to get out of my sweats and into something semi-nice. Hell, I was going to a comic book convention. It wasn’t like I had to get all fancy. And there was no way I would dress up in some character outfit just to impress Spence.
I wasn’t sure where to begin because I knew nothing about comics. Only what Spence had told me. Spence was just as clueless about my feelings for him.
My closet was full of nothing but jeans and T-shirts. At least they were clean. Usually they were thrown all over the floor, but Spence had dragged me to the washers and dryers in the apartment complex earlier in the week. I pulled out a white shirt and paired it with dark blue jeans. I went into the bathroom to take a look in the mirror. Not too bad if I did say so myself. I ran a hand over my face, looking at each cheek, and contemplated shaving, but decided against it. I liked my scruff. I got close to the mirror and really looked into it to study my reflection. My brown eyes stared back at me. Was I sure beyond a shadow of a doubt?