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CHAPTER 1
BREAKFAST IN THE BIG HOUSE
"I am in here because I am no different from anybody else in here. I made bad choices. I committed a crime. And being in here is no one's fault but my own."
— PIPER CHAPMAN
GLORIA'S CHUNKY OATMEAL
BY GLORIA MENDOZA
I'd never run a kitchen before. I never worked in the food service industry, not even so much as a stint at McDonald's when I was skippin' Mr. Estrada's class. Did I complain when I was put in charge? Nope. 'Cause it was a hell of a lot better than grounds crew. Global warming, my ass. Have you seen how cold it gets lately? Just last year, twenty inches of snow in less than a day. Anyway, it's like pulling off a holiday dinner three times a day. Learn how to read a few recipe cards, adapt the recipes with what's in the walk-in, and boss around your girls without being a bitch. You gotta work with what you got. Otherwise, you're back out in the cold.
SERVES 4
INGREDIENTS
¼ teaspoon salt
2 cups (180 g) instant rolled oats
¾ cup (90 g) raisins
½ teaspoon ground cinnamon One 5-ounce (147-ml) can evaporated milk
4 tablespoons (½ stick; 55 g) unsalted butter
¼ cup (40 g) brown sugar, plus more for serving
¾ cup (90 g) chopped toasted walnuts
½ cup (50 g) sweetened coconut flakes
INSTRUCTIONS
In a medium saucepan, bring the 2½ cups (600 ml) of water to a boil over high heat and add the salt. Gradually add the oats, return to a boil, then lower the heat to medium and cook, stirring, for 1 to 2 minutes, until thickened. Add the raisins and cinnamon and cook for 1 minute. Add the evaporated milk and bring to a simmer. Add the butter and brown sugar and stir until melted. Remove from the heat, spoon into bowls, and top each serving with brown sugar, walnuts, and coconut.
POST-PRISON UPGRADE: Substitute chopped dates for the raisins and replace the evaporated milk with organic heavy cream.
WAFFLES AND SCRAMBLED EGGS
BY LORNA MORELLO
Sometimes, right before I open my eyes and remember where I am, I like to pretend I'm back in my old life. Breakfast in bed is one of those luxuries couples get to enjoy on the weekends. I liked to sleep in, so Christopher would sneak downstairs and put on a pot of coffee. I'd wake up smelling the aroma, smile, and turn over for a few more minutes of beauty rest. I could hear the eggs gettin' cracked or a sizzling frying pan. It was like a warm blanket for my ears, knowing that the man I loved was making me breakfast. Soon, he'd be coming up the stairs. I'd pretend to still be asleep so he'd think he was the first thing I set eyes on. Fresh flowers, always fresh flowers on the tray. He'd set it on my lap and kiss me. I'd look at my Christopher and think how lucky I am to be marrying such a wonderful man. Time to get up now. They're serving scrambled eggs and waffles, and I'll take what I can get.
SERVES 4 TO 6 (makes about twelve 4-inch/10-cm square waffles, more or less depending on the size of your waffle iron)
INGREDIENTS
WAFFLES
2 cups (300 g) all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons sugar (optional; omit for savory Gloria-style waffles)
1 tablespoon baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
3 large eggs, at room temperature, beaten
1½ cups (360 ml) whole milk, at room temperature
6 tablespoons (85 g) unsalted butter, melted and cooled Vegetable oil cooking spray
SCRAMBLED EGGS
8 large eggs Salt and freshly ground white or black pepper
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
INSTRUCTIONS
MAKE THE WAFFLES:
Preheat a waffle iron according to the manufacturer's directions and preheat the oven to 200°F (95°C).
In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar (if using), baking powder, and salt. In a separate bowl, beat the milk into the eggs, then beat in the butter. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and whisk until just combined.
Ladle the batter onto the waffle iron according to the manufacturer's directions, spraying it first with cooking spray if necessary. Close the top and cook until the waffles are golden on both sides and are easily removed from the iron. As you make batches of waffles, place them on a baking sheet and keep them warm in the oven until ready to serve.
MAKE THE SCRAMBLED EGGS:
In a large bowl, vigorously beat the eggs together with 1 tablespoon water until light and foamy (adding water makes for fluffy eggs, and it's an ingredient readily available at the commissary), then season with salt and pepper and beat lightly.
Melt the butter in a large skillet over medium heat. When the butter starts to bubble, add the eggs. Leave them for about 1 minute, until they begin to set, then using a rubber spatula gently fold the eggs to form billowy curds; continue to fold until the eggs are set but still look fairly wet, another minute or so. Turn off the heat and fold the eggs a few more times.
TO SERVE:
Place the waffles on individual plates, top with the eggs, and serve as is or with the additions in one of the variations below.
VARIATIONS
GLORIA'S SPICY EGGS WITH SALSA: Top your waffles with the scrambled eggs, add a spoonful of jarred salsa, shred a little Jack cheese on top, and drizzle with Rooster Sauce, either homemade (this page) or store-bought.
POST-PRISON SUNDAY BRUNCH UPGRADE: Substitute whole-wheat flour for half of the all-purpose flour for the waffles and use eggs from free-roaming chickens (occasionally found in the Litchfield yard). Serve with pats of butter, real maple syrup, and crisp farmhouse bacon.
MISS ROSA'S
HUEVOS WITH SPINACH
BY ROSA CISNEROS
Before I came to Litchfield, every Sunday was filled with the scent of a crackling skillet of huevos and spinach. I can always tell when someone's got good huevos. I can see them a mile away. Don't matter if it's a communist in the Universidad de La Habana, a bank teller with a bad haircut, or some little punk walking down Fifth Avenue who don't give a shit what people think of him. If you want the strength to get up and take what's yours in this world, then you gonna want a good breakfast with eggs. The bigger the better.
SERVES 2
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 2 garlic cloves, pressed through a garlic press
• Leaves and tender stems from 1 bunch spinach, washed, well dried, and roughly chopped
• 4 large eggs
• Salt
• Toppings: fresh lime juice, fresh or dried oregano, grated Parmesan cheese
Heat the oil in a medium skillet over medium heat. Add the garlic and let it sizzle for a few seconds. Add the spinach, increase the heat to medium-high, cover, and cook until the leaves reduce in volume and start to wilt, about 2 minutes. Remove the cover and stir the spinach until it is fully wilted and any residual moisture from the leaves has evaporated.
Make four small indentations in the spinach to serve as cooking stations for the eggs. Break an egg into each indentation, cover the skillet, and cook until the whites are set and the yolks are done to your liking, 3 to 5 minutes. Season with salt.
Serve with a squeeze of lime juice, a little oregano, and some Parmesan sprinkled on top. Serve with last night's rice and beans (this page) if you've got some.
VARIATION
BARE-BONES PRISON VERSION:
Throw some thawed, drained frozen spinach in a pan and heat until bubbling; add the eggs and cook as above. Serve with whatever toppings you can get at.
BREAKFAST SANDWICH (without the tampon)
BY ANITA DEMARCO
Waking up attached to a breathing machine surrounded by five other women is not one's ideal situation, but as my nonna said, "Fuggedaboutit." I kid. She said, "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day." I know, so original, but I loved the woman, so step off. Personally, the only way I can get up on my feet is knowing there's a hearty breakfast waiting for me. The prison cafeteria ain't no House of Pancakes, but there's one thing they can't screw up too bad: the timeless breakfast sandwich. Pick your bread. Pick your meat. Pick your sauce. Add an egg and cheese if you want (but none for me, thanks!). Madon! You got a meal that will get you through whatever problems you face, no matter the time. I'd probably eat a breakfast sandwich for every meal in here if I could. And I always make sure to thank the chef. You get on her bad side and it may end up looking like your sandwich was visited by Aunt Flo. Oh!
MAKES 2 SANDWICHES
INGREDIENTS
2 short, plump pork sausages, about the length of the buns
1 tablespoon olive oil Mayonnaise or grainy mustard
2 sandwich buns, split in half and toasted Red pepper jelly
INSTRUCTIONS
Prick the sausages a few times with a fork and place in a medium skillet. Add the oil and enough water to come a quarter of the way up the sides of the sausages. Place over medium heat and bring to a simmer, then cover and simmer until the sausages are cooked through and the water has evaporated, about 10 minutes. Remove the cover and continue to cook the sausages, turning them a few times, until crisp and well browned on all sides, 3 to 5 minutes. Remove from the pan and split the sausages in half lengthwise.
Spread some mayonnaise on the cut sides of the rolls, place one split sausage cut side facing up on the bottom part of each bun, slather with pepper jelly, and serve.
CHAPTER 2
LUNCH AT LITCHFIELD
"... there's the people who serve the bread and the people who eat the bread."
— GALINA "RED" REZNIKOV
PIPER'S
BURRATA SANDWICH
BY PIPER CHAPMAN
I remember that moment, when all of the sudden it occurred to me, Burrata has swept the nation! You can eat it in a beet salad with baby greens. You can eat it with heirloom tomatoes. You can eat it with habanero pesto. You can drizzle a little olive oil and Maldon salt on it. And if you don't mind the extra carbs, you can put it between two hunks of fresh-baked French baguette. Burrata goes with anything because it's different things to different people. With burrata, your biggest challenge is picking only one option and sticking to it. I love its simple, white freshness. Some people enjoy its creaminess. I guess the truth is that I could go both ways.
MAKES 2 SANDWICHES
• 4 slices country-style white bread or brioche, lightly toasted
• 8 ounces (225 g) burrata cheese
• 2 large, thick slices red heirloom tomato
• 4 slices cooked farmhouse bacon, drippings reserved
• Aged balsamic vinegar
• Flaky sea salt and coarsely ground black pepper
• 2 handfuls baby arugula or microgreens
Place 2 toasted bread slices on a work surface. Spread the burrata on the slices all the way to the edges. Top each with a tomato slice, then drizzle on some bacon drippings followed by a few drops of vinegar. Sprinkle with a little salt and pepper and top with the bacon, followed by the arugula. Cover with the remaining toasted bread slices, press down on them to meld the ingredients, then cut in half and serve.
CRAZY EYES'S DANDELION SALAD
BY SUZANNE WARREN
People say they're weeds. People buy poison to kill them. They try to choke them out. Why? By summer's ripening breath this flower may prove a beauteous, delicate, delicious meal, great in a salad after a long canoe trip. Better in a fruit salad after a long game of volleyball. They can do it all! They can grow at the edge of a glamorous golf course sand trap or from the cracks of a broken city sidewalk. To many they are the scourge of a perfect green lawn. But to me they are love. Spread them in the wind, or toss them in a salad.
SERVES 4
INGREDIENTS
DRESSING
3 ounces (85 g) fresh goat cheese, at room temperature
1/3 cup (80 ml) whole milk, plus more if needed
3 tablespoons apple cider vinegar, plus more if needed
SALAD
6 cups (about 250 g) lightly packed torn dandelion leaves
½ cup (70 g) raisins, soaked in ½ cup (120 ml) white wine or water for 1 hour to plump
¼ cup (30 g) chopped toasted walnuts Salt and freshly ground black pepper
INSTRUCTIONS
MAKE THE DRESSING:
In a medium bowl, combine the goat cheese, milk, and vinegar and whisk until smooth and the dressing is a pourable consistency. Add a little more milk if the dressing is too thick.
MAKE THE SALAD:
Place the dandelion leaves in a salad bowl. Add enough dressing to coat (there may be a little dressing left over) and toss well. Add the raisins and walnuts and toss again. Season with salt and plenty of pepper. Taste and add more vinegar if needed to achieve a good balance of bitter, tangy, and sweet. Serve immediately.
VARIATION
Substitute cranberries for the raisins and pecans for the walnuts (based on salad bar availability).
FLACA'S HOLIDAY TAMALES
BY MARISOL "FLACA" GONZALES
Let me tell you, making tamales takes a long-ass time. Like, days, which we don't always got here in lockup. When they first started making them in like Mexico like sixty years ago, they didn't have nothing to do on Christmas Eve except go to church, so no one cared how long it took. But when you got drunk, touchy uncles and loud sisters coming to your tamalada party, trust me, you will want to get the masa ready way in advance. Then you can relax and have fun with everyone around the table singing and smearing that shit on the cornhusks. It's dirty and it gets all over, but at least you can see where everyone's hands are.
MAKES ABOUT 24 TAMALES
INGREDIENTS
TAMALES One 8-ounce (225-g) package dried cornhusks
(see Notes)
3½ cups (400 g) dried masa harina for tamales
(see Notes)
10 ounces (285 g/1 1/3 cups) pork lard or vegetable shortening, softened
2 teaspoons salt
1½ teaspoons baking powder
FILLING
1/3 cup (25 g) ancho chile powder
1 teaspoon ground cayenne
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon salt, plus more if needed
1½ pounds (680 g) boneless goat meat (see Notes), cut into 1-inch (2.5-cm) cubes
3 tablespoons dried masa harina for tamales
1/3 cup (40 g) raisins
1/3 cup (40 g) roughly chopped green olives
INSTRUCTIONS
PREPARE THE CORNHUSKS:
Put the cornhusks in a large bowl and cover with very hot water. Place a plate on top to keep them submerged and leave for about 2 hours, until the husks are pliable. Choose your cornhusks for making the tamales by sorting through them and taking out 24 of the largest husks; pat them dry with a kitchen towel.
WHILE THE CORNHUSKS ARE SOAKING, MAKE THE FILLING:
Pour 4½ cups (1.1 L) water into a large saucepan and whisk in the ancho chile powder, cayenne, cumin, and salt. Add the meat, place over high heat, and bring to a boil. Partially cover, reduce the heat, and simmer until the meat is fall-apart tender, about 1 hour. Remove the meat with a slotted spoon. Measure out 1½ cups (360 ml) of the broth and set aside to use for the tamales, leaving the rest in the saucepan. Pour 2/3 cup (150 ml) water into a small bowl and whisk in the masa harina until blended. Raise the heat to medium-high and return the broth to a boil. Strain in the masa mixture and whisk until the mixture comes to a boil and thickens slightly.
Remove from the heat, taste, and add more salt if needed. Using your fingers or two forks, coarsely shred the meat. Scoop into a bowl and stir in the raisins and olives along with 1 cup (240 ml) of the thickened sauce; add more sauce as needed to thoroughly coat the meat, taste, and season with more salt if needed. Save the rest of the sauce to serve over the tamales.
MAKE THE TAMALE DOUGH:
In a large bowl, combine the masa harina with 2¼ cups (530 ml) hot water. In the bowl of a mixer, combine the lard, salt, and baking powder and beat on medium-high speed until fluffy and light in texture, about 1 minute. Add the masa harina in three additions, beating well after each addition. Reduce the speed to medium-low and add 1 cup (240 ml) of the reserved broth; beat until incorporated. Beat in as much of the remaining ½ cup (120 ml) broth until the dough is the consistency of soft cake batter.
PREPARE THE STEAMER:
Place a penny in the bottom of a deep pot. Set a large colander or steamer basket in the pot and fill the pot with water up to but not touching the basket (so the tamales will be steamed above the simmering water). Line the steamer with a few of the remaining cornhusks, leaving gaps between them so condensing steam can drain off.
FORM THE TAMALES:
Cut twenty-four thin 8- to 10-inch (20- to 25-cm) strips of cornhusks to use for tying the tamales. Lay out one of your chosen cornhusks with the narrower end facing you. Spread about ¼ cup of the dough into about a 4-inch (10-cm) square, leaving at least a 1½-inch (4-cm) border on the side facing you and a ¾-inch (2 cm) border along the other sides. Spoon about 1½ tablespoons of the filling down the center of the dough. Lift up the two long sides of the cornhusk and bring them together so the dough encloses the filling (don't worry if the filling is not completely surrounded with masa; when the masa cooks it will become firm and hold the filling up). Fold up the empty 1½-inch (4-cm) section of the husk and tie one of the strips of husk around the tamal. As you make each tamal, stand it on its folded bottom in the prepared steamer.
STEAM THE TAMALES:
When all the tamales are wrapped and set up in the steamer, cover them with a layer of leftover cornhusks; if there are any gaps in the steamer, fill in the open spaces with some crumpled-up aluminum foil (to keep the tamales from falling over). Cover the pot, place over medium heat, and bring to a simmer. When you hear the penny rattling, you'll know the water is simmering; if the penny stops rattling, the water has boiled away and you'll need to add more water. Cook the tamales for about 1½ hours, then test one: If the husk easily peels away from the masa, it's done. Let the tamales stand in the steamer off the heat for a few minutes to firm up. Warm up the reserved sauce and serve the tamales with the sauce drizzled on top.
NOTES:
Dried cornhusks packaged specifically for tamales are available in Mexican groceries and in the produce or international-foods section of many supermarkets.
Masa harina is a traditional flour made from specially treated corn that is used for making tamales and tortillas (make sure you buy the one marked FOR TAMALES). It is available from Mexican groceries and some supermarkets.
Goat meat is the world's most consumed meat, and it's a staple in Mexican cuisine.
(Continues…)
Excerpted from "Orange is the New Black"
by .
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