Our Fathers, Ourselves: Daughters, Fathers, and the Changing American Family

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Overview

There’s no denying that a woman’s relationship with her father is one of the most important in her life. And there’s also no getting around how the quality of that relationship—good, bad, or otherwise—profoundly affects daughters in a multitude of ways.

In Our Fathers, Ourselves, research psychologist, author and scholar Dr. Peggy Drexler examines the ways in which the father-daughter bond impacts women and offers helpful advice for creating a better, stronger, more rewarding relationship. Through her extensive research and interviews with women, Dr. Drexler paints an intimate, timely portrait of the modern ...

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Overview

There’s no denying that a woman’s relationship with her father is one of the most important in her life. And there’s also no getting around how the quality of that relationship—good, bad, or otherwise—profoundly affects daughters in a multitude of ways.

In Our Fathers, Ourselves, research psychologist, author and scholar Dr. Peggy Drexler examines the ways in which the father-daughter bond impacts women and offers helpful advice for creating a better, stronger, more rewarding relationship. Through her extensive research and interviews with women, Dr. Drexler paints an intimate, timely portrait of the modern father-daughter relationship.

Women today are increasingly looking to their dads for a less-than-traditional bond, but one that still stands the test of time and provides support, respect, and guidance for the lives they lead today. Our Fathers, Ourselves is essential reading for any woman who has ever wondered how she could forge a closer connection with and gain a deeper understanding of her father.

Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
A past guest on morning talk shows, Drexler (psychology, Weill Medical Coll., Cornell Univ.; Raising Boys Without Men) here examines the relationship between fathers and daughters. To collect the information for the volume, she interviewed 75 women from diverse educational and cultural backgrounds. Working from a list of questions, she encouraged them to speak from their hearts about their individual relationships with their fathers. Drexler opens the book with a discussion of how women today admire their fathers as role models, looking to them for guidance in educational and career choices. In Part 2, she shares in-depth stories of six women and their relationships with their dads. Part 3 begins with a questionnaire to get readers thinking about how well they know their own fathers. Drexler lastly offers new ways for daughters to think about their fathers and methods to improve their relationships. VERDICT For students doing research, there is useful information and insight into this often complex relationship of fathers and daughters. A valuable guide for all fathers and daughters who want to improve their relationship.—Phyllis Goodman, West Chester Lib., OH
Kirkus Reviews

Drexler (Psychology/Cornell Univ.; Raising Boys Without Men, 2005) sheds new light on the relationship between fathers and daughters.

The word fathermeans different things to different people, but for the author, who lost hers at an early age, it means mystery. She always wondered what she missed growing up without one. Through research, surveys and conversations with other women, the author weaves an intriguing analysis of the often complex father-daughter relationship. The author's first-person style is accessible and friendly, and she refrains from insulting the intelligence of the reader. Broken into three parts, the book kicks off with an overview of the roles fathers play in parenting and problems that can arise, with examples of fathers who get too close and fathers who do not put effort into getting close enough. The second section presents case studies of six women who have had positive relationships with their fathers—e.g., one father taught his daughter everything he would have taught a son. Though not surprising, the conclusions in the final section are significant. Every woman in the study realized the importance of the father figure in her life, even if the relationship was not entirely positive. Drexler includes a questionnaire that gently guides readers through an assessment of how well she knows her father, and provides tips for ways to improve father-daughter relations. Those tips, however, aren't simple or trite; her questions are thoughtful prompts for deeper analysis.

A helpful guide to father-daughter relationships, in which the author indicates that a woman must come to terms with her father in order to empower herself.

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781605293608
  • Publisher: Rodale Press, Inc.
  • Publication date: 5/10/2011
  • Pages: 272
  • Sales rank: 176,708
  • Product dimensions: 5.70 (w) x 8.50 (h) x 1.00 (d)

Meet the Author

DR. PEGGY DREXLER is a research psychologist, author and an Assistant Professor of Psychology in Psychiatry at the Weill Medical College of Cornell University. She has written Raising Boys Without Men which was a finalist for Books for a Better Life Award and a Lamda Literary Award. A former gender scholar at Stanford University, she speaks at colleges and universities across the country. She is an expert on the impact of gender on individuals and families and has appeared on and written for a wide range of national and international media, including: The Today Show, Good Morning America, NPR, The New York Times, USA Today, Good Housekeeping and Parents magazines. Her columns appear regularly on Huffington Post.

Table of Contents

Introduction: Why I Wrote This Book VII

Part I Fathers and Daughters: Searching for Meaning

1 Fathers and Daughters: What's Changed, and What Hasn't 3

2 Father Knows Best, Least, and Everything In Between: Themes and Variations 43

Part II Daughters and Fathers: When Something Goes Right

3 Fathers Don't Have to Be Perfect to Be Good Dads 101

4 A Father Who Encouraged His Daughter to Take Risks and Think for Herself

5 A Father Who Answered His Daughter's Endless Questions 123

6 A Father Who Bestowed a Mantle of Power Upon His Daughter 134

7 A Father Who Always Knew What His Daughter Was Feeling 148

8 A Father Who Inspired His Daughter to Persevere and Succeed 163

9 A Father Who Taught His Daughter Everything He Would Have Taught a Son 181

Part III You and Your Father: When You Want to Make Things Better

10 Who Is This Man? If You Think You Know Your Dad, Think Harder 195

Questionnaire: How Well Do You Really Know Your Dad? 199

Afterword 233

Appendix: My Process of Discovery 238

Notes 243

Acknowledgments 247

Index 248

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