Out of the FOG: Information & Support for those with a Family Member or Loved One who Suffers From a Personality Disorder [NOOK Book]

Great information that is quick and convenient

I am a psychology student in Tennessee and found "Out of The Fog" very handy to have today. All the computers were tied up in the library and I had the resources I needed right there on my tablet and iPhone with me all the time.

2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

Not recommended

Hi. This book is a collection of web pages from an online forum where members share their frustrations about their estranged mothers and former spouses who are suspected of having mental illnesses that have not been diagnosed.

This book, which focuses on how damaging and hopelessly incurable mom or ex-husband are, dedicates fewer than 4% of its pages to the subject of how the reader can rise above. Most telling are the contributing author statements at the beginning of the book. One by one, they explain how they were victimized. Not a word is mentioned about how they overcame.

This book lacks a recovery map or a pathway to success. And the psychology theories presented are not at all conventional. There is little insight. There is little perspective. The book just wanders from page to page and from one list after another.

The greatest weakness of this book is its avocation to blame relationship problems on the mental illness of others in your life. In the book there is no questioning ¿if they are mentally ill¿, it is more a matter of which mental illness. And the words ¿self awareness¿, ¿self analysis¿, and ¿self discovery¿ do not appear anywhere in the book.

For some reason, the author abandons the conventional definitions of the ten DSM personality disorders / mental illnesses and attempts to describe them using 100 common relationship problems. The problems include such things as picking fights , blaming, anger, entitlement, favoritism, false accusations, mood swings, name calling, shaming, and silent treatment ¿ the presence of ¿some¿ are indicative of mental illness.

The logic is something like

~ If people with personality disorders often get into circular conversations (arguments which go on almost endlessly, repeating the same patterns with no real resolution),

~ And if you find yourself repeatedly engaged in circular conversations with someone,

~ This is an indication that they a have a personality disorder.

Of course, by using a scheme like this most anyone can be labeled as mentally ill. That pretty much sums this book up.

I should mention that the book contains an abundance of data, but most of it is not directly relevant to the topic nor is there any attempt to explain why it is included in the book. There is a data table, for example, from a 1996 US study on perpetrators of abuse to people over 60. There is a data table from 2002 survey of 15-16 year British school children that had suicidal thoughts. There is a 1999 table on missing children statistics.

There is also a chapter dedicated to assigning personality disorders to fictional movie and carton characters. Did you know that, for example, the Charlie Brown cartoon character, Lucy, has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Why not?

The book cover shows a car driving in a deep fog. It's sorta how I felt after reading the book.

2 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

SO helpful!

The Out of the Fog forum has been a lifesaver for me, and this book compiles the information, tips, and tools in one place (that I can consult discreetly on my Nook in occasions where browsing the website is impossible or inadvisable). If you have someone in your life with a personality disorder, this book is a must-buy.

1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

Well intentioned but misguided

The members of this support group are obviously very hurt and angry and exiting emotionally troubled relationships.

Oddly this book, rather than focusing on processing of hurt and rebuilding of lives, attempts to recast information from the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual into a tool for some kind of a modern day Salem witch trials. It is a very perverse use of a body of professional work intended to help people suffering from debilitating mental illnesses.

From reading the website, the author appears to be well intentioned. The book is just poorly researched and the subject matter not well understood. There is no acknowledgment that people tend to enter into relationships with their emotional equals.

Imagine going to an Al-anon meeting to find the members complaining and demonizing alcoholics and writing a book warning others to stay away from anyone that goes to a bar.

The book isn't any deeper than this hypothetical comparison.

In this book there are the "PDs" (bad people) and the "Nons" (good people). The author calls himself a "non". The author has blogged about a history of childhood sexual abuse, alcohol dependence, and cheating in relationships, events that would qualify him as having a personality disorder sing the formulas in the book.

I'm not suggesting that the author has any mental issues. I am suggesting that the book has some weaknesses.

1 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

This book personally helped me a lot to understand dysfunctional

This book personally helped me a lot to understand dysfunctional dynamics.  I wish I'd had it when I had contact with my mother. It would have been my bible.

Absolutely Fantastic and without equal to the mass audience whom

Absolutely Fantastic and without equal to the mass audience whom have to suffer these traits -
often totally unaware that most people close to them may in fact have a PD which is giving them
fleas as if they are in the stages of developing one themselves.
The author points to INTENT as key in the complex problems PD situations create and has advice
like a 51% rule over your own state of mind/ looking out for yourself so not to break and go into
abusive mode yourself.
In fact a simplified version would be better for a pocket guide then you can beef it out on the website.
Some of these academics talk about tit for tat - which is unavoidable in many ways - for sure there is ZERO 
help available for most people and ZERO advise to wise them up. FULL MARKS to the author for getting
OUT THERE amidst the FOG people keep smoke screening us with.
Psychology students note: Millions are NOT top 5% academics.
Also note: some of them are the worst PDs on planet Earth! 
Good Job Out Of The Fog!