Overcoming Passive-Aggression: How to Stop Hidden Anger from Spoiling Your Relationships, Career and Happiness

Overcoming Passive-Aggression: How to Stop Hidden Anger from Spoiling Your Relationships, Career and Happiness

4.4 8
by Tim Murphy Ph.D., Loriann Hoff Oberlin
     
 

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In Overcoming Passive-Aggression, Dr. Tim Murphy and Loriann Hoff Oberlin provide an in-depth look at a topic we've all faced but haven't always recognized: Hidden anger. When people don't express their views and feel compelled to conceal their true beliefs and emotions, behaving in ways that don't match what they honestly think, there can be serious physical…  See more details below

Overview


In Overcoming Passive-Aggression, Dr. Tim Murphy and Loriann Hoff Oberlin provide an in-depth look at a topic we've all faced but haven't always recognized: Hidden anger. When people don't express their views and feel compelled to conceal their true beliefs and emotions, behaving in ways that don't match what they honestly think, there can be serious physical and psychological results for everyone involved. For the first time, Murphy and Oberlin offer a clear definition of passive-aggression and show readers not only how to end the behavior, but also how to avoid falling victim to other people's hidden anger. In clear, compassionate language, they cover everything from the childhood origins of the condition to the devastating effect it has on work and personal relationships to the latest research on the subject, and offer practical, proven strategies for the angry person as well as the individual who finds himself the target of someone else's passive-aggression.

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Hidden anger that comes out indirectly-through inappropriate, unproductive action or even inaction-can undermine relationships with friends, family and colleagues at work. Murphy, a psychologist and member of Congress, and Oberlin (coauthors of The Angry Child) closely examine how this kind of anger, called passive-aggressive, can undermine sufferers and their relationships and make life generally miserable. The authors also examine the problems faced by the victims of passive-aggressive behavior, who often don't understand why the angry person is acting as he does: "The nastiest thing about hidden anger is that it sneaks up on you... much like a boa constrictor that gradually tightens its grip until it's too late for you to get away." A frank and interesting chapter on the roots of anger in childhood is followed by constructive advice for those who experience hidden anger on how to handle that anger at work, at school and in a myriad of relationships. While acknowledging the complexity of the problem, the work provides ample opportunity (and exercises) for personal growth regardless of whether you are on the giving or receiving end of passive aggression. (Dec.) Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.
Library Journal
U.S. Congressman/psychologist Murphy and writer Oberlin tackle a rarely examined area in self-help literature: passive-aggression (PA). The authors clearly define hidden anger and explain its childhood origins and the resulting manipulative behavior that destroys career progression, academic achievement, and interpersonal happiness. While written primarily for PA sufferers, the book proffers a lot of good advice for those who deal with PA types (e.g., backstabbers, cynics, blamers, and controllers). PA sufferers are shown how to modify their reactions, as are their enablers. Highly recommended for all libraries. Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781569243619
Publisher:
Da Capo Press
Publication date:
11/09/2005
Pages:
256
Sales rank:
268,242
Product dimensions:
5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.80(d)

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Overcoming Passive-Aggression: How to Stop Hidden Anger from Spoiling Your Relationships, Career and Happiness 4.4 out of 5 based on 1 ratings. 8 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
While I've seen other authors on TV and even read other books on how difficult folks act and talk to one another, this book gives better advice, in my opinion. I really like the first few chapters because it clearly showed me why people get to be manipulative, sarcastic, and angry. And it fits cause I've known angry people to toss out nasty remarks just to 'get at' someone else, and they do have some health problems just like the ones listed in this book. Best for me, I learned by reading how this is implanted, how to react. I'd never guess some of the strategies, but they fit too when you think about not feeding the circle of anger. If you deal with manipulators, read this book!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Easy to read. Great book - I liked the examples of everyday 'folks' who deny, manipulate, weasel, or push anger & blame onto others. A must read for every parent (great section of BAD things we teach our kids to deal with anger & how to say no without further repercussions.)! A must read for couples & co-workers of angry folks (or pessimistic)... The only thing I DIDN'T like is that the book doesn't give you ways to let your anger go just simply to 'let it go'...a bit of advice in that area would've been appreciated. Overall, buy it & read it! I'm on reading it for the 2nd time in less than a month of starting it...90% of the book was written about me, I swear...Unbelievable read!
caribird More than 1 year ago
Some of the passages have really helped me see this problem clearly!
Guest More than 1 year ago
At last, a book primarily meant to tell the layperson all about passive-aggressive men and women. Overcoming Passive-Aggression helps passive-aggressives deal with their hidden anger and offers their targets ways to cope and manage. Murphy and Oberlin cite revealing and instructive case examples illustrating hidden anger in different contexts, and they discuss the core interactive processes that will surely bring forth ¿so that¿s it¿ responses of recognition and pleasant surprise in their readers. Martin Kantor, Author of Passive-Aggression: A Guide for the Therapist, the Patient and the Victim
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I bought this book partially based on the good reviews, but was disappointed. I was looking for more detailed examples and advice regarding personal relationships, but it is more general and more about professional relationships. Not really helpful to me.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book was a great book to read if you are trying to overcome your own passive agression, and also to help deal with people who are passive agressive. This helps with any kind of situation, be it the work place, or relationships. I would highly recommend this book.