Table of Contents
Foreword to the Second Edition xi
Introduction 1
Part 1 The Love and Logic Parent
1 Parenting: Joy or Nightmare? 5
Are We Having Fun Yet? 7
Putting the Fun Back into Parenting 8
2 Mission Possible: Raising Responsible Kids 9
Ineffective Parenting Styles 11
The Effective Parenting Style of Love and Logic 15
The Paradox of Success and Failure 16
Learning at Affordable Prices 18
To Protect Them Is Not to Love Them 20
Responsibility Cannot Be Taught 21
3 Responsible Children Feel Good about Themselves 23
I Am What I Think You Think I Am 24
The Three-Legged Table of Self-Concept 26
The Difference between Praise and Encouragement 32
Positive Self-Esteem Comes from Accomplishment 34
If We're Happy, They're Happy 36
4 Children's Mistakes Are Their Opportunities 39
Mother, Please, I'd Rather Do It Myself 40
You Have Your Troubles, I Have Mine 41
The Two Rules of Love and Logic 44
Problem, Problem, Who Owns the Problem? 49
5 Setting Limits through Thinking Words 53
Building Walls That Don't Crumble 54
How to Talk to a Child 57
The Threat Cycle 59
We'd Rather They Think than Fight 62
Mean What You Say, and Say What You Mean 64
6 Gaining Control through Choices 67
Parenting Just Gets More and More Curious 67
The Right Dose of Control 69
Waging a Winnable War with Choices 71
The Bad Boy in Burger King: A Case Study on Winning a Control Battle 77
Choose Your Choices Carefully 83
7 The Recipe for Success: Empathy with Consequences 85
Hurting from the inside Out 87
Naturally Occurring Consequences 88
Imposing Consequences 91
Consequences Don't Have to Be Immediate 92
It's the Empathy That Counts 94
8 Lights, Camera, Parenting! 97
Practice, Practice, Practice 97
What Love and Logic Is Not 98
It's Never Too Late to Start 104
Part 2 Love and Logic Parenting Tools
How to Use Love and Logic Pearls 106
1 Allowances/Money 107
2 Anger: When It's Appropriate 110
3 Bedtime 112
4 Bossiness 115
5 Bullying and Cyberbullying 117
6 Car Wars: Back-Seat Battles 121
7 Chores 125
8 Church: When Kids Don't Want to Go 128
9 Creativity 130
10 Crisis Situations 133
11 Discipline 101 135
12 Discipline in Public 139
13 Divorce and Visitation 141
14 Eating and Table Manners 149
15 Entitlement 152
16 Fears and Monsters 156
17 Fighting 158
18 Friends 161
19 Getting Ready for School 163
20 Giving Gifts 167
21 Grades, Underachievement, and Report Cards 170
22 Grandparents 175
23 Homework 178
24 "I'm Bored" Routine 180
25 Lying and Dishonesty 182
26 Nasty Looks and Negative Body Language 184
27 Pacifiers 186
28 Peer Pressure 188
29 Pet Care 191
30 Picking Up Belongings 193
31 Professional Help: When to Seek It 196
32 The Room: Keeping It Clean 197
33 The Room: Keeping the Kid in It 199
34 Sassing and Disrespect 202
35 Spanking 204
36 Sports 206
37 Stealing 210
38 Swearing and Bad Language 212
39 Teacher and School Problems 214
40 Technology: The Internet, Phones, Pornography, Television and Videos, and Video Games 216
41 Teeth Brushing 234
42 Telephone Interruptions 236
43 Temper Tantrums 238
44 Toilet Training 240
45 Values: Passing Them On to Your Kids 242
46 Whining and Complaining 245
Appendix A The Three Types of Parents 247
Appendix B Turn Your Word into Gold: The Art of Enforceable Statements for the Home 248
Notes 250
Index 251
Authors 259