Partners In Passion: A Guide to Great Sex, Emotional Intimacy and Long-term Love [NOOK Book]

Overview

Most of us long for intimate relationships, and though texting and emailing may keep us superficially connected, it ultimately cannot create the kind of intimacy necessary to sustain a deep, fulfilling, and lasting partnership. With the divorce rate reaching a staggering 50 percent in 2013 and the breakup rate among unmarried long-term couples even higher, it appears that the more we tweet, the more disconnected we become. So many of us believe that new is better, hotter, and more intense, but love at first sight...
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Partners In Passion: A Guide to Great Sex, Emotional Intimacy and Long-term Love

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Overview

Most of us long for intimate relationships, and though texting and emailing may keep us superficially connected, it ultimately cannot create the kind of intimacy necessary to sustain a deep, fulfilling, and lasting partnership. With the divorce rate reaching a staggering 50 percent in 2013 and the breakup rate among unmarried long-term couples even higher, it appears that the more we tweet, the more disconnected we become. So many of us believe that new is better, hotter, and more intense, but love at first sight isn't really love, it's chemistry. Developing the connections and intimacy that everyone craves takes time and skill. In Partners in Passion, Michaels and Johnson provide readers with a fun, step-by-step guide to discovering true, loving, and romantically sexual relationships that will last for decades. Comprehensive and inclusive, Partners in Passion is original and provocative, drawing on a variety of sources: cutting-edge science, psychology, the authors' background in tantra, and personal experiences as teachers and as a couple. Partners in Passion invites couples to design their relationships and to choose consciously, and is replete with how-to suggestions and exercises, including interviews with couples from diverse backgrounds, relationship styles, and orientations who are enjoying erotically vibrant partnerships.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781627780452
  • Publisher: Cleis Press
  • Publication date: 2/11/2014
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 504
  • Sales rank: 344,774
  • File size: 2 MB

Meet the Author

A graduate of NYU and Yale, Mark A. Michaels writes for scholarly and legal publications and his plays have been produced off-Broadway. He took his first tantra class in 1997 and gave his first lecture on the subject two years later. Patricia Johnson spent many years as a professional operatic soprano. In 1999, a longstanding interest in tantra inspired her to attend a lecture by Mark Michaels, now her husband and collaborator. Since then, she and Michaels have taught and lectured throughout the world. They live in New York City.
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Read an Excerpt

Partners in Passion

A Guide to Great Sex, Emotional Intimacy and Long-Term Love


By MARK A. MICHAELS, PATRICIA JOHNSON

Cleis Press, Inc.

Copyright © 2014 Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-62778-045-2



CHAPTER 1

NEW RELATIONSHIP ENERGY


Do you remember how it felt when you were first falling in love? Or maybe you don't have to remember because you're lucky enough to be in that heightened state right now. Either way, the experience is intense, delicious, magical, something to be enjoyed to the fullest. All your physical and mental juices are flowing, and the experience is literally intoxicating. In new relationships sex tends to be exhilarating, and most new couples are eager to make love as often as possible. Nights may be long—with bouts of lovemaking interspersed with deep conversation and no concern about feeling sleep deprived. Those who are in this elevated and almost manic state are sometimes described as being in the throes of new relationship energy (NRE).

NRE can be a very heady and enjoyable state, and there's no reason to deny yourself the intensity and pleasure that accompanies it. As long as you remain mindful of the fact that it is temporary and something of an illusion, you'll be able to revel in it without being consumed by it. Similarly, remembering that the intensity will not last will make it much easier to transition from being in a new relationship to being in a longer-term one.

During this stage, the novelty of discovering a new partner, exploring and enjoying that partner's body, can create its own momentum. The same intensity is sometimes felt in casual sexual encounters. Novelty can be very alluring and can function as a powerful aphrodisiac.

NRE usually propels people for six months or so, but for some its effects can last as long as two years. As Helen Fisher has argued in The Anatomy of Love, NRE is (for the most part) a neurochemical phenomenon. It is very easy to make all kinds of promises and fantasize about having a life together when you are in this altered state of consciousness. Ironically, this is actually the worst time to decide whether this is the person you want to be with for the long term. Knowing that NRE is influencing (and possibly impairing) your judgment during this early stage can provide you some protection against being overwhelmed and making less than optimal decisions or promises that you'll end up regretting.

The emotions you feel during this period may seem like love, but they are probably better described as infatuation. Six months is not long enough to develop a real relationship and get to know another person. More often than not, your ideas about your beloved during this period are based on limited knowledge, projections, and fantasy. As infatuation fades and you start to gain a deeper knowledge of this other, you may realize that the person who captivated you is not the paragon of virtue that you imagined. It's easy to feel misled and deceived when this happens, but in most cases the deception is self-deception, and the disappointment is rooted in the other's inability to live up to your fantasy.

So love in the first six months is often frenzied, a kind of hallucination. Because everything is so heightened, it's a very exciting time, and it can be filled with drama, especially if you're afraid that the object of your affections and desire does not reciprocate. While this intense emotion may prove to be a foundation for a calmer, more balanced relationship over time, the drama that gets associated with new love, and especially with unrequited love, is not likely to be sustainable in a long-term partnership, even a passionate one, and we suspect that few people would want it to be.


NEW RELATIONSHIP ENERGY FEELS LIKE ...

Here are some descriptions of NRE from our friends on Facebook:

The exhilarating ambush of endorphins that results from a new emotional connection. Or just a new physical connection.

A rush up the spine for me and mine.

Let the self-revelation begin. Can't go anywhere REAL without it.

Like a kid in a candy store.

Maddening, delightful, dizzying, overwhelming. For me it's euphoria mingled with anxiousness before relaxing into contentment. And blushing. Lots of blushing.

It's like one of those puke rides at the Parish fair that leaves you feeling dizzy and a little queasy.


(Continues...)

Excerpted from Partners in Passion by MARK A. MICHAELS, PATRICIA JOHNSON. Copyright © 2014 Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson. Excerpted by permission of Cleis Press, Inc..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Contents

List of Illustrations, xviii,
List of Tips and Techniques, xix,
Foreword by Tammy Nelson, PhD, xxi,
Preface, xxix,
Chapter 1: New Relationship Energy, 1,
Chapter 2: Good Relationships: The Ten Big Myths, 11,
Chapter 3: A New Paradigm: Keys to Creating an Enduring and Erotic Relationship, 41,
Chapter 4: Beyond the Keys: How to Live the New Paradigm, 73,
Chapter 5: Great Sex: Concepts, 103,
Chapter 6: Anatomy: A Little Technical Knowledge Goes a Long Way, 131,
Chapter 7: Tantra and Neo-Tantra: Techniques for Enhanced Lovemaking, 169,
Chapter 8: Basic Sexual Adventuring, 209,
Chapter 9: Advanced Sexual Adventuring: Open Relating to Strengthen Your Partnership, 253,
Chapter 10: Bonding through Kink, 307,
Chapter 11: Dealing with Discrepancies, Distractions, and Disruptions, 333,
Chapter 12: Going the Distance, 377,
Chapter 13: Resource Guide, 409,
Selected Bibliography, 428,
Acknowledgments, 439,
About the Authors, 443,
Index, 447,

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Customer Reviews

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Sort by: Showing all of 6 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 8, 2014

    The latest book from the Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson:

    The latest book from the Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson: "
    The Definitive Guide to Building Sexual Heat and Deep Emotional Intimacy for a Lifetime, " is a timely and very welcome practical guide for the intimacy that we have really lost in this tech age.The writers really hit the nail on the head, and couldn't have come along at a better time. Due to technology overflow, relationships have changed dramatically, and not for the good in my opinion. I have witnessed many unsuccessful relationships due slow but certain distancing - have lost a lot of intimacy. Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson's reminds us of what many have forgotten, and many have never known. The book is very easy to follow, offering Illustrations, Tips and Techniques, debunking myths and really getting to the heart of it. "Partners in Passion. A Guide to Great Sex, Emotional Intimacy and Long-Term Love" is a must have book! Part manual, part guide, it affords couples an unparalleled opportunity to explore, discuss and work on the goal to "...Great Sex, Emotional Intimacy and Long-Term Love."

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 27, 2014

    These two know what they're talking about! I got a chance to mee

    These two know what they're talking about! I got a chance to meet the authors in person and they really are an amazing pair. This book details all the best ways to keep the passion alive in your relationship. Very thoughtful and inspiring. 

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 21, 2014

    I seriously think I could read and reread this book every year f

    I seriously think I could read and reread this book every year for the rest of my life and still learn something new each time. I'm not married yet, but I know that when I am married, I want my husband to read this book with me. Intelligent advice is spread throughout the book (pretty much every page). I especially liked the the Ten Big Sex Myths debunked in chapter two. They are so pervasive in our society, but Michaels and Johnson effectively explain where their falsities lie. Fantastic book!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted July 2, 2014

    more from this reviewer

    Reviewed by Suzanne Cowles for Readers' Favorite Partners in Pa

    Reviewed by Suzanne Cowles for Readers' Favorite

    Partners in Passion: A Guide to Great Sex, Emotional Intimacy and Long-term Love by Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson is an in-depth exploration into the complex world of intimate relationships. Married for fourteen years, the couple lays out a practical guide to keep love alive using their own professional knowledge and experience in the field. We all want to sustain the infatuated feeling of a new relationship, and this book discusses exactly how to maintain connected chemistry while growing into a deeper union. A holistic approach is used to redefine roles, dispel gender myths, explain the anatomy of exploration, and dissect the Tantric energy flow at the heart of intimacy. Michaels and Johnson uncover the mysteries to falling in love again and sustaining a courtship throughout life. All types of unions are defined that run the gamut between kink and sexual dysfunction. This non-judgmental self-help book brings about a fresh understanding of relationships where pleasure is achieved by a focus of service.

    Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson use their creative genius to mesmerize the reader in Partners in Passion: A Guide to Great Sex, Emotional Intimacy and Long-term Love by fostering an adult conversation where trust and adventure converge into a vibrant sexual union. Packed into thirteen informative chapters, there is something for everyone’s personal tastes, along with illustrations, tips, and a reference list of other books, websites and events. Honest and frank suggestions in a non-clinical setting abound throughout a powerful read into the secrets of a lasting and fulfilled relationship.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 1, 2014

    I found _Parters in Passion_ an extraordinary combination of 1)

    I found _Parters in Passion_ an extraordinary combination of 1) explanation of pertinent history and cultural context; 2) affirmation of readers’ uniqueness as both couples and individuals; 3) invitation to personal exploration; and 4) practical considerations, resources, and/or recommendations.

    In addition, I was struck by how comprehensive the volume is—it contains an incredible range of information and covers an array of topics to a surprising degree of depth. Need an overview of sexual anatomy? See chapter six. Interested in Tantra? Check out chapter seven. Curious about swinging or other forms of nonmonogamy? Visit chapter nine. Wondering about sex and parenting issues? Reference chapter eleven. Incidentally, any time you want more information about almost any area covered, you can check the vast resource guide of which chapter thirteen is comprised.

    _Partners in Passion is not_, in any way, a clinical, detached, or “how-to” guide that glosses over anything in the name of quick fixes or empty suggestions. Rather, it is a sincere, depth-filled, conscientious exploration imbued with the sense that the authors have walked (and are walking) their talk and are inviting you to learn and walk along with them at your own pace and in your own way. As a truly affected and appreciative reader, I add my voice to that invitation.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 6, 2014

    A very well-researched and thought out book for couples willing

    A very well-researched and thought out book for couples willing to make the effort into engaging in a deeper intimacy.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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