Passionate Marriage: Love, Sex, and Intimacy in Emotionally Committed Relationships

good book even if you're not married..

my relationship with my gal is terrific. it was even before i read the book. but i figured i would read something in order to make it even better and i got alot of good pointers after finishing it. she says i'm the best she ever had and i really do feel it not only in bed but in the relationship.i have this intense feeling of always being wanted and needed and for me it works well.theres nothing wrong with a man constantly touching caressing or saying nice things to his woman. it certainly doesnt make us less a man. come on guys and drop your he man woman haters attitude and quit trying to be the macho stud you're not. strive every day and night to treat your woman, your lady, your lifemate with the honesty, respect, and desire you would want to be treated with and it will come back 10 fold. i have never been more happy than i am now but i also had a great thing going before i read the book. i recommend it to anyone in any phase of a relationship--young people especially since the breakup rate today is soo high.

3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

This is NOT a self-help manual - thank goodness!

Many times in the last month I¿ve recommended an old stand-by book by marriage counsellor and psychotherapist David Schnarch. Why? Because it has some very important concepts about how things work. Not just quick fixes, to-do¿s, tips, and techniques, but real information that can lead couples to a new way of thinking, and therefore approaching, their committed relationships and sex lives. I¿ll be the first to admit that Passionate Marriage: Love, Sex, and Intimacy in Emotionally Committed Relationships is not the most well written book. The first quarter of it is repetitive but the concepts are necessary to understand in order to fully realize the rest of its rich, valuable content. Bear with it it gets better. It combines marital therapy and sex therapy (finally!) and recognizes how the two are linked and must be dealt with. Based on Schnarch¿s first book, The Sexual Crucible, (not recommended ¿ too dry) it is essentially for those self-actualized individuals, often more mature couples, who are willing to commit to working through the process of facing themselves first. It understands and discusses how men and women differ in prioritizing their relationship (men tend to let the relationship suffer to hold on to their sense of self women let their sense of self suffer to hold on to the relationship). It also explains why compromise is not always possible and why it¿s often not the best option. Committed relationships can be a wonderful arena for personal growth and one¿s capacity for sexual fulfillment and intimacy grows as one ages. Passionate Marriage talks about the process of marriage with insights that should have a positive affect on all one¿s relationships, both intimate and casual. Written in 1998, with over a half a million copies sold, it was followed up in 2003 by the audio CD, Secrets of a Passionate Marriage (unabridged).

2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

This book saved my marriage

One year ago our marriage was on the rocks. We were at each other's throats. My wife of 20 years avoided me, would not talk with me, would not consider therapy. Only the kids kept her from moving out. I read every book on relationships that I could find, but found little that seemed to help. This book offered an approach that was not easy, and that was not what I wanted to hear. Instead of working on her, I found myself working on me. But it worked. We still have areas to work on, but we are now sharing time together, enjoying each other's company, and calmly talking about our most difficult issues. The future looks bright. In the process I have learned much about myself. This book has not only saved my marriage, it has rescued me from a very dark period in my life.

2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

Understanding the depths of long term relationships.

Dr. Schnarch has done an amazing life's work in his effort to synthesize sexual therapy and marital therapy. This appears to be his most clear and usable work from the individual's perspective. It is not easy material to understand and even less easy to put into practice, but once understood, the use of this information is truly life-changing.

My wife and I have read most of this book together about 3 times and have put most of what we've read into practice. Our relationship hes been rejuvenated and brought into a completely new dimension. This stuff is not for the light-weight or uncommited. It really is helpful when you've reached a total roadblock in your relationship and feel you have nowhere to turn.

Highly recommended for any commited relationship.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

Intimacy outlasts excitement

In this work Dr. Schnarch brings the content of the Sexual Crucible out of the therapy room and into the bedroom. The auther does well at helping readers harness the power of committed relationships by developing intimacy as the fuel for sexual involvement. Although excitement has explosive properties like gasoline, intimacy {like diesel fuel) has longer staying potential and actually burns hotter! The author provides many examples of couples confronting themselves and developing their potential as lovers. A must purchase for older couples needing a bit of hope, and should be on every new couples bedstand from the first year together.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

It is an investment in your relationship

This is not a book to read through in a week. It should be absorbed slowly and discussed in detail. It was recommended to be by a couselor who used it as part of therapy. After starting it I bought a second copy for my 'bride to be.' We read it through chapter by chapter- under lining, highlighting, and writing thoughts in the margins. It was one of the best things we could have done to invest in a lasting relationship. We have recommended it to many others and given it as gifts to friends.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

Very , very long

While the topics were good it took a long, long time to get to some of the points. I personally found the writing style laborious. Could have been a 200 page book that was right to the point.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

The Truth!!!

I was given the name of this book in 2003 by a friend who is a therapist. It came at a time where I needed insight in dealing with a relationship shift that had occurred. I read this book and I highly reccommend it to everyone young and old. I believe it is a foundation to learn how to have a relationship with yourself, there by allowing others to have a relationship with you. I believe in the approaches and techniques used in this book, there are useful simple techniques to apply to your life. I don't believe it is just a book for couples. I have been a advocate for this book for over a year, many copies have been purchased for family and friends. Step up to the plate, its time to live your life.

It's Back

Shortly after reading this book and The RoMANtic's Guide the passion returned. Coincidence? I don't think so.

0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

Need more Passion

Relationships need a lot more passion. I see marriages get so stale so quickly. I am glad I have a resource to recommend when yet another friend says they are bored in their marriage.

Every couple must read

This book helped me develop myself in my relationship and has reduced tension between my husband and myself 100 fold. We are both happier and feel closer to eachother now. It's not all about sex.

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