Perfect Daughters

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Overview

Daughters of alcoholics often assume responsibility for the failures of others. Ackerman explores - and helps conquer - these issues.

Are women who were raised in alcoholic families, adult daughters, different from women who were raised in non-alcoholic families? Dr. Ackerman, a leading expert on alcoholism and the family and especially on children of alcoholics of all ages, has brought together the thoughts, ideas and feelings of more than ...

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Perfect Daughters: Adult Daughters of Alcoholics

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Overview

Daughters of alcoholics often assume responsibility for the failures of others. Ackerman explores - and helps conquer - these issues.

Are women who were raised in alcoholic families, adult daughters, different from women who were raised in non-alcoholic families? Dr. Ackerman, a leading expert on alcoholism and the family and especially on children of alcoholics of all ages, has brought together the thoughts, ideas and feelings of more than 1200 women in this first book on adult daughters of alcoholics.

Do you find yourself represented in any of the following statements from adult daughters?

  • If I please everyone, everyone will be happy
  • If I don't get too close emotionally, no one can hurt me
  • Nothing is wrong but I don't feel right
  • Something is missing from my life
  • My relationships usually consist of a lack of trust, fear of intimacy, low self-worth, over-responsibility and picking the wrong person.

If you often feel isolated, engage in self-condemnation, experience inconsistency, always want to be in control, rely heavily on others for their approval and believe that you must be perfect, you have many things in common with other adult daughters. Adult daughters are beginning to talk about their experiences, express their fears and share their growth. This book represents many of the stories of childhood pain and the paths to recovery that have been found by many Perfect Daughters.

Through a combined narrative of professional and anecdotal syles, Daughters explores what it means to work on issues and what readers can expect to accomplish.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781558740402
  • Publisher: Health Communications, Incorporated
  • Publication date: 10/1/1989
  • Pages: 200

Meet the Author

Robert J. Ackerman, Ph.D. , is Professor of Sociology at Indiana University of Pennsylvania and Chair of the Mid-Atlantic Addiction Training Institute. He is the author of A Husband's Little Black Book, A Wife's little Red Book, Before It's Too Late, and many others.. He is a founding board member of the National Association for Children of Alcoholics.
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Table of Contents

Acknowledgments xiii
Preface xv
Introduction xix
Part 1 Childhood Revisited
Chapter 1 Am I the Only One Who Feels This Way? Letters from Perfect Daughters 3
Chapter 2 Home Groan: Daughters in Alcoholic Families 33
Chapter 3 What Did You Learn at Home Today? 57
Chapter 4 These Are the Things I Learned 71
Part 2 Collecting Emotional Baggage
Chapter 5 Alcoholic Mothers: Pains of Endearment 89
Chapter 6 Alcoholic Fathers: Daughter Dearest 103
Chapter 7 Two Alcoholic Parents: Don't Add, Multiply 123
Chapter 8 Secrets and More Secrets 133
Part 3 Codependently Yours
Chapter 9 Me, Myself and I: How Well Do You Know These People? 157
Chapter 10 What Kind of Adult Daughter Are You? 171
Chapter 11 I'm Not Codependent, Are We? 199
Part 4 Concerns of the Day
Chapter 12 Relationships, or You Married a What? 217
Chapter 13 Perfect Parenting 247
Part 5 Discovery and Recovery
Chapter 14 I Think I Can, I Think I Can 263
Chapter 15 To Self, with Love, from Daughter 279
Postscript 293
Appendix The Research Behind Perfect Daughters 295
Bibliography 299
Index 305
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 16 )
Rating Distribution

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(10)

4 Star

(3)

3 Star

(2)

2 Star

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1 Star

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Sort by: Showing all of 16 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 19, 2007

    You are 'normal' and not alone!

    This book was wonderful! Came across it one day when I was browsing for a book to read and remembered the title. This book was about me, and I finally realize many of the personality traits that I have are not all bad or make me 'abnormal.' I am passing this book on to other family members...there is a long history of alcoholism and drug addiction in my family. Not surprising that alcoholics and drug addicts behave similarly with their children.

    7 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 7, 2005

    really love this book!

    This was one of the first books I read about this topic ( I'm a daughter of an alcoholic mother). Took me two hours to finish, could not put it down. It will probably be one of the few books you will find specially catered to adult child daughters. Definatley overwhelming to read and moving.

    7 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 2, 2003

    A 'must read' sometime in your life

    I highly recommend this book to all who have tried so hard to please others.

    4 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 13, 2002

    Perfect Daughters The Book I Live By Now!

    As a Adult Daughter myself,for years I just couldn't figure out where I was going wrong in my healing process. Until a friend suggested this book. As I began to read it, I could see myself in every page. What a shock it was to me to know that my fathers alcoholism was affecting my very being. I was being controlled. The alcohol not only had it's grips on him, but on me as well. I use to try to make everything perfect to avoid the rath of his disease. Constantly being the people pleaser, the caretaker, I was everything and anyone to make things right. When I read these things with each page, I became angry at myself for allowing it. Which in turn, made me a stronger person. I learned to say no and mean it. I learned to be me not what the alcoholism and my father wanted me to be. Every Adult Daughter needs to read this to have a better understanding of themselves and the hold alcoholism has on THEM!

    4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 20, 2011

    Wonderfully Written Book and Introspective

    I have already read this book once fairly quick utilizing both paperback and e-book versions - it is just amazing. On my second read through now for a slower assessment of my journey through childhood to becoming a healthy adult.

    Do have to say though, my favorite part are the letters at the beginning. Every time I read them, I find something new.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 10, 2001

    The nonperfect daughter loved this book

    After dealing with depression most of my life I decided to deal with some issues of my childhood that kept bothering me. I found this book to be full of other daughters dealing with the same problems, insecurities and fears that I was. All of a sudden I didn't feel 'weird' and I understand a little more why things bother me this way. This book was a tear jerker for me though so have good buddies close at hand that can help you emotionally through it.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 20, 2011

    Wonderfully Written Book and Introspective

    I have already read this book once fairly quick utilizing both paperback and e-book versions - it is just amazing. On my second read through now for a slower assessment of my journey through childhood to becoming a healthy adult. Do have to say though, my favorite part are the letters at the beginning. Every time I read them, I find something new.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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    Posted May 19, 2011

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    Posted May 22, 2012

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    Posted July 2, 2010

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 3, 2010

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 8, 2011

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 20, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted February 24, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted October 24, 2010

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 3, 2012

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