Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: Healing the Wound of the Heart [NOOK Book]


most of us have moments of loving freely and openly, it is often hard to
sustain this where it matters most?in our intimate ...

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Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: Healing the Wound of the Heart

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most of us have moments of loving freely and openly, it is often hard to
sustain this where it matters most—in our intimate relationships. Why if love
is so great and powerful are human relationships so challenging and difficult?
If love is the source of happiness and joy, why is it so hard to open to it
fully and let it govern our lives? In this book, John Welwood addresses these
questions and shows us how to overcome the most fundamental obstacle that keeps
us from experiencing love's full flowering in our lives.

Love, Imperfect Relationships

begins by showing how all our relational problems arise out of a universal,
core wounding around love that affects not only our personal relationships but
the quality of life in our world as a whole. This wounding shows up as a
of unlove
deep sense that we are not intrinsically lovable just as we are. And this shuts
down our capacity to trust, so that even though we may hunger for love, we have
difficulty opening to it and letting it circulate freely through us.

book takes the reader on a powerful journey of healing and transformation that
involves learning to embrace our humanness and appreciate the imperfections of
our relationships as trail-markers along the path to great love. It sets forth
a process for releasing deep-seated grievances we hold against others for not
loving us better and against ourselves for not being better loved. And it shows
how our longing to be loved can magnetize the great love that will free us from
looking to others to find ourselves.

with penetrating realism and a fresh, lyrical style that honors the subtlety
and richness of our relationship to love itself, this revolutionary book offers
profound and practical guidance for healing our lives as well as our embattled

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Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
Too often, our relationships leave us feeling frustrated, anxious, lonely, and sad. A nationally known psychotherapist, Welwood (Journey of the Heart) takes a psychospiritual approach to transforming our relationships by healing the "wound of the heart," i.e., the deep-seated, unconscious belief that we are unloved and unlovable as we are, which makes it impossible for us to give and receive love freely. In turn, this state of "unlove" causes us to numb our hearts and close ourselves off from others, thereby shutting down the pathways through which love can flow. To break free from this vicious cycle, Welwood offers practical exercises and real-life examples from his practice. His lyrical writing style may not appeal to quick-fix seekers, but the book will find an audience among New Agers and the deeply forlorn. For larger self-help collections.-Wendy Lee, Marshall-Lyon Cty. Lib., MN Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.
From the Publisher

“With clear instructions and an even tone, Welwood shows us how to heal our psychic scars by opening up to the ‘real love’ available to us all at the core of our nature.”—Tricycle

 “Welwood challenges us to move from self-hatred to self-love and to do the inner work to embrace the love that sets us free.”—Spirituality & Health

"Drawing equally from spiritual and psychological traditions, Perfect Love reads like a book of philosophy: the ideas seem sound enough, though there's no way to prove them. Welwood is most compelling when he gets practical. . . . His approach is also noteworthy for its emphasis on learning how to receive love as well as give it. . . . Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships offers both grand theories and useful practices for incorporating these lessons into your life."—Body & Soul

"Welwood skillfully identifies the fundamental obstacle in relationships and offers a clear, attainable, and transformative solution. Everyone should read this wonderful book."—Harville Hendrix, coauthor of Receiving Love and Getting the Love You Want

"This book skillfully and eloquently describes how our deepest longing for love is in fact the key to healing our personal wounds and the woundedness of the world at large. John Welwood's message echoes the Buddha's, showing us how we have direct access to the love and happiness we most long for, as our very essence."—Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness

"This book takes us on a healing and transformative journey to address the real, underlying cause of our relationship problems. John Welwood is one of the most brilliant and important teacher of our time."—Debbie Ford, author of The Best Year of Your Life and Spiritual Divorce

"Full of practical wisdom and divinely inspired insight. A marvelous guide for any seeker choosing to walk on love's path."—bell hooks, author of All About Love: New Visions

"A profound guide to healing our hearts and our world. No larger social transformation is possible unless it is simultaneously accompanied by this kind of personal healing, one individual at a time. Every social change movement should encourage its participants to take time to follow the steps outlined in this extremely valuable and important guide to psychic health."—Michael Lerner, editor of Tikkun and author of The Left Hand of God

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780834822757
  • Publisher: Shambhala Publications, Inc.
  • Publication date: 8/8/2011
  • Series: Trumpeter
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Sales rank: 278,354
  • File size: 434 KB

Meet the Author

As a psychotherapist, teacher, and author, John Welwood has been a pioneer in integrating psychological and spiritual work. Welwood has published six books, including the best-selling Journey of the Heart (HarperCollins, 1990), as well as Challenge of the Heart (Shambhala, 1985), and Love and Awakening (HarperCollins, 1996). He is an associate editor of the Journal for Transpersonal Psychology. He leads workshops and trainings in psychospiritual work and conscious relationship throughout the world.

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Read an Excerpt


A night full of talking that hurts,
My worst held-back secrets:
Everything has to do with loving and
not loving.

Journey of the Heart and Love and Awakening—that show how to embrace and work with the challenges of relationship as opportunities for personal transformation and spiritual awakening. This book takes a different tack. It focuses on the root source of all relational problems, “the mother of all relationship issues”—our wounded relationship to love itself.

The Mood of Unlove

The Nature and Significance of Love

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Table of Contents

Introduction 1

Prologue: To Feel Held in Love 23

1. Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships 32

2. The Mood of Grievance 57

3. Letting Grievance Go 75

4. From Self-Hatred to Self-Love 96

5. Holy Longing 120

6. The Love That Sets You Free 139

Epilogue: Who's Holding You 161

Exercises 169

Acknowledgments 189

Notes 191

About the Author 205

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 2 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 2 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 7, 2013

    Heal your Heart

    This little book shows us how to use our relationships as a tool to heal and open our hearts toward a greater capacity for love and acceptance in our lives. Many times I have been grateful for its teachings and it's been close at hand since it crossed my path.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 19, 2014

    No text was provided for this review.

Sort by: Showing all of 2 Customer Reviews

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