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Your go-to guide for your parenting questions, from the author of the breakthrough No-Cry series
"Perfect Parenting will give you the tools you need to feel confident as you raise your children. This handy reference book may become an indispensable part of your family's ...
Your go-to guide for your parenting questions, from the author of the breakthrough No-Cry series
"Perfect Parenting will give you the tools you need to feel confident as you raise your children. This handy reference book may become an indispensable part of your family's life."
— from the foreword by William Sears, M.D.
Perfect Parenting is parenting with a plan. It is based on:
You'll learn what to do about back talk, dawdling, interrupting, stubbornness, whining. You'll find ways to get your kids to do the chores, stop ignoring you, and clean up their own messes. You'll even learn what to do about other people's children! Elizabeth Pantley designed a questionnaire addressing discipline problems and sent it to hundreds of parents. Their answers shaped this book to make it the most useful, practical book on discipline available today.
Situation: My child gripes and complains whenever he's asked to do something. He does what he's told, but he sure lets me know how unhappy he is with the situation.
Think about it: Learning to do the things we must, even when we don't want to, is a process of maturity. (And even the most mature among us are heard to utter a complaint now and then!) Understanding how to voice our opinions in a proper and respectful way is a learned skill.
Situation: My husband and I haven't finished a complete sentence since last July! Our children interrupt our conversations constantly. Even while I'm asking them to wait until we're done talking they're busy interrupting my request!
Think about it: Many parents admonish kids for interrupting, but in the same breath respond to the child's interrupted request! Interrupting is habit forming. Like many annoying behaviors, once kids figure out that they can "get away with it," the behavior will continue.
Situation: My kid doesn't listen to me! I have to repeat myself over and over. Even then he doesn't do what I've asked. When I remind him, he looks at me with that befuddled look that says, "Huh? You were talking to ME?"
Think about it: Sounds like your child has what is commonly known as "Selective Hearing." (In other words, you can shout at him to take out the trash, and it's as if he has cotton in his ears, but if you whisper that you'll take him out for ice cream, his hearing becomes incredibly sharp!) The good news is that this malady is easily cured when you use the following solutions.
Arguing, with parent
Athletic lessons/practice, not wanting to continue, poor sport
Baby-sitters, grandparents as, not listening to, not wanting one, siblings as
Bath, not behaving in, not wanting one, won't get out
Bedrooms, cleaning, privacy between siblings (separate rooms/shared room
Bedtime, getting to bed peacefully, staying in bed
Bicycle, care of, doesn't ride safely, won't wear helmet
Birthday, bad behavior as birthday child, bad behavior, your child as guest, bad behavior, other children as guests, party planning
Biting, child to adult, child to child
Breakfast, won't eat
Breaking things during carelessness
Bully, your child is acting like a, your child is victim of
Car, fighting in the back seat, seatbelt or car seat refusal, who gets to sit in front
Carpool, bad behavior
Cheating, at games, at schoolwork
Chores, complains about, how to get them done, money and sloppy or slow work, suggested list
Clothing, carelessness about, chewing of, choice of, dawdling while dressing, frequent changing of, won't dress self
Dark, fear of
Daycare, cries when left at, dropping off / picking up, misbehavior at
Diaper, doesn't want changed
Doesn't come when called
Eating, disorders, out with children, overeating, picky eater,
Fears, of imaginary things, of real things, of natural disasters, of violent situations
Fighting, with friends, physical
Fighting, with friends, verbal
Friends, doesn't have any, eating all your food, inappropriate choice of, sleep overs
Gifts, rude response to, thank you notes
Grandparents, and spoiling, buy the kids too much stuff, disagreements with
Hair pulling, of others, of self
Hate, expressions of
Hitting, child to adult, child to child
Home alone, when is a child ready to be
Home alone, child is
Homework, how to create a routine, not getting it done, perfectionism, sloppy or rushed work
Junk food excesses
Laziness, at home, at school
Manners, at home, at mealtime, in public
Mess, kid's constant
Moving, child is depressed after, planning in advance
Music lessons, when to start them, not wanting to continue, not wanting to practice
Nail biting or picking
Nap, won't take one
Nudity, adult's around children, during child's play
Other peoples children, friends, neighbors, relatives
Parties, bad behavior at, doesn't want to go
Privacy, of children, of parents
Promises, doesn't keep
Public behavior, defiance, leaving peacefully
Read, doesn't want to
Rude comments, intentional, unintentional
School, behavior problems at, bus behavior, not wanting to go, teacher, doesn't like
Self esteem, low
Sexuality, inappropriate behavior with friends, inappropriate personal behavior
Shyness, around adults, around children
Siblings, bickering, borrowing things without permission, fairness, fighting - physical fighting - verbal, hateful emotions, hitting of new baby, jealousy, name calling, new baby
Sports, reluctance to play
Television, watches too much
Trips, airplane, boat, bus, train, car, short, car, long, children alone on, cruise
Vacations, misbehavior during, preparing for good behavior, rainy day ideas
Vegetables, won't eat them
Video games, excessive use of
Wandering in public places
Work, doesn't want parent to
Yelling and screaming
Posted July 18, 2011
Perfect Parenting is an easy-to-use resource to help parents deal with every possible parenting issue they may encounter. The "Contents" section at the beginning of the book lists the issues alphabetically and gives the page number where the solution can be found. This is very convenient for parents who just don't have time to read an entire book. Under each issue, there is a paragraph that describes the situation. Then there's a "Think about it" section which gives parents a "kid point of view" to help them understand why kids might be misbehaving. Then there is a "Solutions" section that lists three to seven ideas on how to deal with the issue. Readers familiar with Ms. Pantley's book, Kid Cooperation, will recognize many of the solutions from that book. The nice thing is that there are a good variety of solutions to fit a variety of parenting personalities. Ms. Pantley is careful to note when issues may require professional help. These comments are notated with a bold exclamation point. Perfect Parenting is a must have resource for all parents. As a parent of two children, I find myself referring to it quite a bit. I highly recommend this book.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted August 14, 2002
I love the easy-to-use alphabetical arrangement of this book. I'm too busy to read tons of books, but when I have a problem I just look it up in this one. It covers all the issues a parent faces from the common: Whining, Backtalk, Fighting, Chores, Listening, Interrupting, etc. It also covers less common but oh-so-annoying issues like: Vegetables (won't eat them), Medication (won't take it), Nail-biting, Nose-picking, Poor sport, etc. A very handy book to keep around for all those daily issues. A great companion is the author's other book: Kid Cooperation which gives overall parenting ideas.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted June 30, 2002
A wise, witty, wonderful book filled with tips for those very bad days when you're just about at your wits' end with the kids. Just about everything you can think of is addressed in this book for parents of tots-teens. My only criticism is that I think it is hard to cover some subjects like lying, bad words, the gimmees, fears, and anger-pertaining to BOTH 3-year-olds as well as teenagers all in one book. I have recently found another great A-Z book with tips that work for very young children. 'The Pocket Parent' is a quick read trouble-shooting guide that has been written exclusively for the preschool years (2- to 5-year-olds). Since I have many issues with my 3-year-old twins, I found more age appropriate advice on some topics in 'The Pocket Parent'. I think both books are a must for restoring your sanity on the spot. Both books are filled with compassion and humor which helped me know for sure that I'm not a failure as a mom nor the only parent that ocassionally has a really bad day. Thanks Elizabeth...you have obviously 'been there, done that' along with us! In my book, that makes you a truly credible expert!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted June 16, 2001
Have you ever wished that your child came with an instruction book? Perfect Parenting: The Dictionary of 1,000 Parenting Tips might be just what you have been looking for! This book consists of suggestions on how to deal with all those situations that are sent to try your patience and all those issues which no-one seems to know how to handle. This book¿s format is perfect for the busy parent. In alphabetical order and cross-referenced, you will find suggestions on how to cope with everything from allowances to yelling and screaming. Examples include: bath, not wanting one; nightmares; siblings, jealousy; and the ever-worrying TANTRUMS. For each problem, the situation is described and then parents are challenged to ¿think about it¿ before being given several possible solutions. The suggestions offered are wonderfully helpful and insightful. There is a wealth of fantastic advice here! As always, Elizabeth Pantley manages to give advice that WORKS, is EASY, and is RESPECTFUL of children. Whether you are a new parent or an old hand, you are bound to benefit from her words of wisdom. What is particularly perfect about Perfect Parenting is that it is a ¿one-stop-shop¿ for a whole gamut of problems, many of which are simply not broached in any other book. In the one book, almost every conceivable parental concern is covered. This is a book which you definitely want to keep in a prominent position on the bookshelf, as you are going to want to refer to it again and again!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted December 3, 2000
I refer to this book constantly. There are great ideas for every issue I face with my kids. (Check out the table of contents!) I'm too busy to read tons of books to find ideas about how to solve problems with my kids, so this book really works. I don't have to wade through excess information, I just look up the day's problem and get quick, practical solutions. I've used it to solve: back talk, the kids not doing their chores, getting them to do their homework, stopping the bickering, stopping the whining, and lots of others. It's worth the price and more!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted April 13, 2000
I love this book! Just about anything you could think of in dealing with children's behavior is in this book, in a 'dictionary' type format. You can look things up like 'Lying', 'Hitting', 'Disrespectful', 'Inappropriate Humor', 'Not Sharing', you name it, and it's there!!! Under each topic, she lists a section to 'think about' the motives of the child, and then she gives you at least 5 or 6 different things you might do to correct the problem behavior. I could not believe how many different things were listed in this book. The reference in the front was great too. VERY EASY to use, this is not a 'chapter book'. It's more of a reference book, but I can hardly put it down! I already read Elizabeth's other book 'Kid Cooperation', and I highly recommend it as well . . . All I can say is 'buy the book, you'll be glad you did'!!!!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 30, 2000
There is so much helpful, good advice in here! The list of topics is extensive & detailed. And I really like the author's approach to helping us understand a child's behavior before trying to solve a problem. If you need some ideas on how to solve any of the typical challenges that come up in parenting, look in PERFECT PARENTING!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.