Permanent Partners: Building Gay and Lesbian Relationships That Last

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Today, more than ever before, gay and lesbian couples want long-lasting, fulfilling, happy relationships. But in order to accomplish this, the notion of "partnership" itself must be radically reinvented. Gay men and lesbians must learn to imbue relationships with the same importance that their heterosexual counterparts do - in a society that still offers none of the same support. This book, written by a psychotherapist who specializes in working with lesbian and gay male couples, offers clear, compassionate ...
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More About This Book

Overview

Today, more than ever before, gay and lesbian couples want long-lasting, fulfilling, happy relationships. But in order to accomplish this, the notion of "partnership" itself must be radically reinvented. Gay men and lesbians must learn to imbue relationships with the same importance that their heterosexual counterparts do - in a society that still offers none of the same support. This book, written by a psychotherapist who specializes in working with lesbian and gay male couples, offers clear, compassionate advice and counseling on the internal and external problems faced by two men or two women as they create a life together. Warmly supportive, Dr. Betty Berzon draws on real-life examples from her professional practice and her own long-term partnership to help couples improve communication, "fight fair," resolve conflicts, and affirm both their love and their commitment in a relationship that works today, tomorrow, and forever.

Exploring the emotional and psychological issues particular to gay and lesbian experience.

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Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
Berzon's experience as a psychotherapist in the homosexual community for over 16 years most definitely shows in her practical and compassionate advice on ways to strengthen same-sex relationships. Though she is a lesbian, the book gives both lesbian and gay male partnerships equal time. Also included are brief chapters on financial issues, legal issues (covered much more completely in Hayden Curry and Denis Clifford's A Legal Guide for Gay and Lesbian Couples , 1988, Nolo Pr. 5th ed.), and having children, with addresses and telephone numbers of numerous organizations and advocacy groups provided. An excellent bibliography (current to 1988) is included. With little else in print of a practical nature, many libraries will want this. Kevin M. Roddy, Oakland P.L., Cal.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780452286214
  • Publisher: Penguin Group (USA)
  • Publication date: 6/17/2004
  • Edition description: REV
  • Pages: 368
  • Product dimensions: 5.62 (w) x 8.54 (h) x 1.34 (d)

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments xiii
Introduction: About Us 1
1 It's Time for a Change: Reinventing Gay and Lesbian Relationships 9
2 Building Compatibility: Living With Differences and Working With the Effects of Relationship Myths and Fantasies 25
3 Feeling Good About Being Gay: Understanding How Sexual Identity Conflict Can Affect Your Relationship 44
4 "What's Going on Here?": Learning to Diagnose the Underlying Problems in Your Relationship 61
5 "Are You Listening to Me?": Improving Communication With Your Partner 91
6 "Who's in Charge, Now?": Addressing Power and Control Issues 111
7 Jealousy: A New View of an Old Problem: Looking at the Broader Meanings and Positive Uses of Jealous Feelings 147
8 Fighting the Good Fight: Learning to Deal With Conflict Constructively 165
9 The Sexual Agenda: Improving Sexual Communication, Resolving the Monogamy Issue, and Coping with Sexual Desire Differences 198
10 Money Issues: Understanding the Role of Money in the Power Equation and Setting Up the Optimal Money Management Plan for Your Relationship 247
11 Empowering Your Relationship Legally: Making Use of Contracts, Joint Tenancy Ownership, Estate Planning and Insurance Coverage to Protect Your Partnership Legally 263
12 The In-Laws, God Bless 'Em: Integrating Your Families Into Your Life as a Couple 283
13 Having Children, Taking Vows, Telling the World: Taking Advantage of Some New Options in Gay and Lesbian Relationships 317
14 The Inevitability of Change in Your Partnership: Recognizing the Effects of Unspoken Contracts and Change-Resisting Routines 331
15 In Praise of Our Partners: Giving Voice to Affection and Admiration Affirming Lover and Love Alike 343
Bibliography 351
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
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Sort by: Showing all of 2 Customer Reviews

  • Anonymous

    Posted January 19, 2004

    I loved it

    when I first got this book my relationship with my lover was rocky. after reading it I learned how to talk to my lover, & how to deal with my child hood, still inturupting my life. I reccomend this book to many who need more feed back how to make it work with your partner.greatly pleased susana

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted January 24, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

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