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Permission to Parent: How to Raise Your Child with Love and Limits

Overview

Parental anxiety is at an all-time high, and with parenting styles swinging from attachment parenting to that of "Tiger Moms," Robin Berman, MD, inspires mothers and fathers to find a graceful place in the middle.

Children used to be seen and not heard, but now they are at the center of their parents' universe. Parents today seem skittish about asserting their authority. They indulge in their children's demands and tantrums, and enter into endless negotiations, all for fear of ...

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Permission to Parent: How to Raise Your Child with Love and Limits

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Overview

Parental anxiety is at an all-time high, and with parenting styles swinging from attachment parenting to that of "Tiger Moms," Robin Berman, MD, inspires mothers and fathers to find a graceful place in the middle.

Children used to be seen and not heard, but now they are at the center of their parents' universe. Parents today seem skittish about asserting their authority. They indulge in their children's demands and tantrums, and enter into endless negotiations, all for fear of hurting their children's feelings. Sadly, this indulgence is creating a generation of psychologically fragile individuals, and it undermines the very self-esteem it seeks to build. In between these parenting extremes lies a better way to raise thriving, well-adjusted children.

Parents need to know that it is not only OK but essential to be in charge. Children with too much power often become anxious, and not allowing children to work through negative emotions leads to a lack of resilience later in their lives.

Permission to Parent teaches parents to be comfortable setting boundaries while maintaining a loving connection, fostering self-esteem, respect, and emotional maturity. Children need limits more than they need indulgences, time more than schedules, and love more than stuff.

Robin Berman, MD, provides the tools for great parenting by drawing from her extensive clinical experience and wisdom collected from seasoned therapists, revered teachers, and role-model parents. Permission to Parent strikes the perfect balance of advice, anecdote, and research to be an essential parenting guide.

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  • Permission to Parent
    Permission to Parent  

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
★ 03/17/2014
Psychiatrist and mother of three Berman joins the backlash against helicopter parenting with this accessible, well-written guide. Based on her experience working with both children and adults, the book is full of memorable anecdotes and quotes that show how quickly parents can turn brats into better citizens. In a winning chapter titled “Prada Kids,” the author relates stories of parents whose egos cloud their sense of sportsmanship when their children take the field. In a world that emphasizes success and achievement, Berman celebrates such unfashionable goals as “shepherding” the soul and “developing a deep and loving relationship with your child and fostering great character.” One of the book’s powerful messages is that giving unconditional love to children doesn’t mean relinquishing control, but it does mean modeling good behavior, as when a mother requires her two young sons to engage in peaceful problem solving using a talking stick. Similarly, Berman advises parents to moderate exposure to digital media—not just their child’s, but their own. In other words, “parenting is more about raising yourself than it is about raising your child.” This convincing and helpful book includes end-of-chapter summaries for easy reference, as well as sample parent-child contracts for the pre-teen phone user or new driver. Agent: Jan Miller, Dupree/Miller & Associates. (May)
Marianne Williamson
“Permission to Parent is rich with wisdom, filled with laughter and heartwarming moments that any parent can recognize. Dr. Berman has written the how-to for being the parent we all wish to be.”
Reese Witherspoon
“I have remarked many times that there is no parenting manual that comes with your child when they are born, but I believe Robin Berman, MD has written the first one that should be present in every delivery room. Hallelujah!”
Dr. Harvey Karp
“Robin Berman’s inspiring book is a must-read for all parents. It shows how to nurture with love and respect in order to raise strong, happy, and successful children.”
Catherine Birndorf
“All parents will find themselves in the pages of Dr. Berman’s smart and accessible book.”
Washington Post
“It may be hard to say ‘no’ to your child… unless you also read a great new book called Permission to Parent by psychiatrist Robin Berman. It will help you bring parenting back to the center, where it belongs.”
Dr. Harvey Karp
“Dr. Berman’s inspiring book Permission to Parent shows how to nurture with love and respect to help raise strong, happy and successful children.”
Kirkus Reviews
2014-04-08
How to set limits for your child in a balanced, supportive way.On one hand, there's no shortage of books about parenting, and all these guides can lead to confusion. However, it's also true that different parents learn and benefit from different styles. Berman (Psychiatry/UCLA) finds a nice balance between presenting information from a research-minded orientation—the author is a psychiatrist and a parenting group leader—and from a grounded, of-the-moment, culturally current orientation. (She's also on the advisory board of Matthew and Camila McConaughey's Just Keep Livin' foundation.) Berman couches her narrative in mostly current cultural references; before readers are even out of the introduction, the author has referred to Ashton Kutcher and parents "feeling punk'd." This is both a boon and a weakness throughout the book; some cultural touchstones have longer cache than others, and building too many of them into the structure of a book weakens the integrity of the book as a whole. That's a minor quibble, though; Berman's teachings are mostly sensible, easy to understand and backed with common-sense reasoning. She writes about how to maintain balance for families inundated with smartphones, tablets and video games, and she offers advice on being "an emotional grown-up" that should be required reading for all parents. She also provides advice on encouraging self-reliance and self-esteem and how the two are intertwined. Throughout the book, there's a thread of encouraging parents to reflect, without judging themselves, on how their behaviors do and do not sync up with what they tell their children.While much of what Berman suggests can be found in other similarly intentioned books, the way she phrases her ideas is welcoming to parents and encourages them in all the best ways to grow into that important role.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780062277299
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 4/29/2014
  • Pages: 272
  • Sales rank: 108,238
  • Product dimensions: 8.20 (w) x 5.80 (h) x 1.10 (d)

Meet the Author

Robin Berman, MD, is a psychiatrist and an associate professor at UCLA. She is a certified Reflective Parenting group leader and a Simplicity Parenting group leader. Dr. Berman is a founding board member of the UCLA Resnick Neuropsychiatric Hospital. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and children.

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