Personal Credibility Factor, The: How to Get It, Keep It, and Get It Back (If You've Lost It)

by Sandy Allgeier

Overview

You'd trust your life with some people. Others, you wouldn't trust for an instant, even when the stakes are low. Why? What builds the personal credibility that some people simply exude? What do they do differently? This book shows you and helps you build your own personal credibility, the #1 attribute in earning trust and achieving success. Renowned personal coach Sandra K. Allgeier begins with a set of powerful stories that demonstrate what personal credibility really consists of, how it's earned, and how easily it can be destroyed. You'll discover how small daily actions, together with specific communication techniques and decisions, shape others' view of whether you can be trusted. Next, Allgeier illuminates three oft-neglected, crucial secrets of personal credibility. You'll find a hands-on assessment tool designed to help you bring more personal authenticity and transparency to your interactions; as well as practical guidance on suspending judgment and really listening, thereby earning others' trust even if you ultimately choose to disagree. Allgeier concludes with seven specific steps you can take every day to increase your personal credibility, and rebuild credibility you may have already lost. Following her easy-to-understand, easy-to-use guidance, you can live a life that's not just more successful, but happier and more fulfilled, too.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780132703963
Publisher:	Pearson Education
Publication date:	02/09/2009
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	192
File size:	834 KB
Age Range:	18 Years

About the Author

Sandy Allgeier, SPHR, is a consultant, trainer/facilitator, and coach who helps organizations maximize their human resource potential. Before launching her consulting business in 2000, she had 25+ years’ experience in HR, rising to SVP of HR at a major provider of assisted living services, with responsibility for over 7,000 employees.

 

Allgeier contributed to the book Conversations on Success, Volume 7 (Insight, 2005), which also featured Stephen Covey and Dr. Denis Waitley. She earned the 1999 Award for Professional Excellence from SHRM’s Louisville chapter and was selected as faculty member and facilitator for SHRM’s HR Generalist Certificate and Recruitment and Retention Certificate Programs.

Read an Excerpt

Introduction I Wouldn't Trust That Person for a Minute!

You have probably had this feeling before. It's that little mental nudge you get when you really don't expect it. It might even seem somewhat irrational at the time. Try to put yourself in the following situation: You have been invited to have lunch with a respected business consultant who is interested in hiring you as a contractor. "Kate" has a solid reputation and an established consulting business. She wants you to consider joining her as a consulting partner to work with some of her best clients, and this could mean wonderful earning potential for you! The lunch is going well—but you cannot shake this odd feeling that something just isn't right. That little voice will not go away that is saying, "Don't trust! Eat your lunch and let it go at that. This just doesn't feel right!"

Or perhaps the opposite has happened to you—which might be equally confounding. Have you ever been challenged with hiring contractors to help you with projects around your house? Most of us have learned that hiring someone for odd jobs, such as small building projects or fixing a clogged drain, can be downright infuriating. Perhaps you have experienced the frustration of having a contractor who won't return your phone calls. Or, maybe you can identify with the challenges of having appointments made to estimate pricing, but no one shows up. Then, when you call to find out what happened—your call isn't returned. Unfortunately, you begin to believe that you will never be able to find someone to do the work.

Then, amazingly, someone walks into your life that is dramatically different. If you are fortunate enough, you meet someone like "Dan." Even though you are a little cynical about hiring contractors, you believe that Dan will keep his appointments, follow through on commitments, and do a great job with anything he agrees to do. And,

THE PERSONAL CREDIBILITY FACTOR

he won't agree to do something that he doesn't believe he can do effectively. When you look back on it, you can remember being certain that Dan could be trusted from the first time you talked with him.

So, what does this mean? Does it mean that most of us have internal voices that can predict whether someone is trustworthy and credible? Does this mean that personal credibility is just something we instinctively sense in others? And, what about you? Do others instinctively believe and trust in you—or is there some reason that others are naturally skeptical of you?

Our "instincts" about people can be helpful, but, obviously, it is so much more than that.

It isn't particularly complicated either. Everyone can have strong personal credibility—but it does require that we understand it, desire it, and make a decision to seek it for our lives.

What Is the Personal Credibility Factor?

When others believe, trust, and have confidence in you, you naturally receive their respect—you are someone with personal credibility. When you are respected, your self-worth and confidence increases. When you receive respect—from both yourself and others—you are more self-accepting. Self-acceptance allows you to just be yourself, which increases authenticity. When you are authentic, others instinctively believe and trust in you more.

But wait...Is personal credibility based on the type of person that you are, or is it based on the types of things that you do?

If you really think about it, the only way we can assess people is from our observations of what they do.

It is what people do that forms our opinions, relationships, and ultimate decisions of whether to trust and respect them. Our impressions, thoughts, and opinions are constantly being formed and reformed, most often in our subconscious. Although we might be unaware of it, we stay in constant "observer" mode with those around us, and they stay in that same mode observing us! We might not always have all the facts, and our observations might change over time, but, regardless, it is still the only information on which we have to base our thoughts and opinions of others. For this reason, it is what people do that determines our belief, respect, and trust in them—it is what we all do that determines personal credibility.

Why would this matter? It's really pretty simple. At our very core, we want to know who we can trust and respect—and we want to receive that same trust and respect from others. However, we are living in a world where it is becoming more and more difficult to discern who deserves our trust and respect. Headlines and TV news are filled regularly with stories of troubled organizations such as WorldCom and Enron, fallen TV evangelists, government leaders, and others taking the spotlight for misleading the public. Consequently, we find ourselves wondering if personal credibility with public figures is only something of the past. On a more personal level, family, friends, or coworkers violate our trust and lose credibility as a result. Most people—regardless of whether they are in the public spotlight—don't intentionally choose a life of being disbelieved, mistrusted, and disrespected.

The reality is that personal credibility either occurs or is damaged due to ongoing decisions we make and behaviors we demonstrate.

For most of us, there is an inherent need to be valued and respected by others, while at the same time, to be comfortable and confident in being who we authentically are. We want to live a life that causes others to say: "(Your name)—now that is someone with personal credibility!" We all don't experience that type of life though. The great news is this: We can experience greater personal credibility—if we are willing to honestly evaluate ourselves, look at our own actions and behaviors, and build some new habits.

© Copyright Pearson Education. All rights reserved.

Table of Contents

Introduction   xvii

Part I: The Three Secrets to Personal Credibility   1

Chapter 1 Secret #1: Forget Power, Position, Status, and Other Such Nonsense   5

Chapter 2 Secret #2: I Can See Right Through You   15

Chapter 3 Secret #3: The Decision to Suspend Judgment   31

Part II: Stepping Up with Credibility: Seven Steps to Influence Credibility   41

Chapter 4 Step #1: Know Your “Stuff”   45

Chapter 5 Step #2: Keep Commitments   51

Chapter 6 Step #3: Honor Confidences and Avoid Gossip   59

Chapter 7 Step #4: Know Yourself–the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly!   63

Chapter 8 Step #5: Choose to Value Others–the Good, and Yes, Even the Bad and the Ugly!   75

Chapter 9 Step #6: Ask More and Listen Most   91

Chapter 10 Step #7: Create Credible Interactions   101

Part III: Face the Truth and Begin Anew   119

Chapter 11 The Truth Shall Set You Free–When You Avoid Truth Traps!   121

Chapter 12 Credibility: I’ve Lost It–Can I Rebuild It?   131

Chapter 13 Rebuilding: One Step at a Time   143

Preface

Introduction Introduction I Wouldn't Trust That Person for a Minute!

You have probably had this feeling before. It's that little mental nudge you get when you really don't expect it. It might even seem somewhat irrational at the time. Try to put yourself in the following situation: You have been invited to have lunch with a respected business consultant who is interested in hiring you as a contractor. "Kate" has a solid reputation and an established consulting business. She wants you to consider joining her as a consulting partner to work with some of her best clients, and this could mean wonderful earning potential for you! The lunch is going well—but you cannot shake this odd feeling that something just isn't right. That little voice will not go away that is saying, "Don't trust! Eat your lunch and let it go at that. This just doesn't feel right!"

Or perhaps the opposite has happened to you—which might be equally confounding. Have you ever been challenged with hiring contractors to help you with projects around your house? Most of us have learned that hiring someone for odd jobs, such as small building projects or fixing a clogged drain, can be downright infuriating. Perhaps you have experienced the frustration of having a contractor who won't return your phone calls. Or, maybe you can identify with the challenges of having appointments made to estimate pricing, but no one shows up. Then, when you call to find out what happened—your call isn't returned. Unfortunately, you begin to believe that you will never be able to find someone to do the work.

Then, amazingly, someone walks into your life that is dramatically different. If you are fortunate enough, you meet someone like "Dan." Even though you are a little cynical about hiring contractors, you believe that Dan will keep his appointments, follow through on commitments, and do a great job with anything he agrees to do. And,

THE PERSONAL CREDIBILITY FACTOR

he won't agree to do something that he doesn't believe he can do effectively. When you look back on it, you can remember being certain that Dan could be trusted from the first time you talked with him.

So, what does this mean? Does it mean that most of us have internal voices that can predict whether someone is trustworthy and credible? Does this mean that personal credibility is just something we instinctively sense in others? And, what about you? Do others instinctively believe and trust in you—or is there some reason that others are naturally skeptical of you?

Our "instincts" about people can be helpful, but, obviously, it is so much more than that.

It isn't particularly complicated either. Everyone can have strong personal credibility—but it does require that we understand it, desire it, and make a decision to seek it for our lives.

What Is the Personal Credibility Factor?

When others believe, trust, and have confidence in you, you naturally receive their respect—you are someone with personal credibility. When you are respected, your self-worth and confidence increases. When you receive respect—from both yourself and others—you are more self-accepting. Self-acceptance allows you to just be yourself, which increases authenticity. When you are authentic, others instinctively believe and trust in you more.

But wait...Is personal credibility based on the type of person that you are, or is it based on the types of things that you do?

If you really think about it, the only way we can assess people is from our observations of what they do.

It is what people do that forms our opinions, relationships, and ultimate decisions of whether to trust and respect them. Our impressions, thoughts, and opinions are constantly being formed and reformed, most often in our subconscious. Although we might be unaware of it, we stay in constant "observer" mode with those around us, and they stay in that same mode observing us! We might not always have all the facts, and our observations might change over time, but, regardless, it is still the only information on which we have to base our thoughts and opinions of others. For this reason, it is what people do that determines our belief, respect, and trust in them—it is what we all do that determines personal credibility.

Why would this matter? It's really pretty simple. At our very core, we want to know who we can trust and respect—and we want to receive that same trust and respect from others. However, we are living in a world where it is becoming more and more difficult to discern who deserves our trust and respect. Headlines and TV news are filled regularly with stories of troubled organizations such as WorldCom and Enron, fallen TV evangelists, government leaders, and others taking the spotlight for misleading the public. Consequently, we find ourselves wondering if personal credibility with public figures is only something of the past. On a more personal level, family, friends, or coworkers violate our trust and lose credibility as a result. Most people—regardless of whether they are in the public spotlight—don't intentionally choose a life of being disbelieved, mistrusted, and disrespected.

The reality is that personal credibility either occurs or is damaged due to ongoing decisions we make and behaviors we demonstrate.

For most of us, there is an inherent need to be valued and respected by others, while at the same time, to be comfortable and confident in being who we authentically are. We want to live a life that causes others to say: "(Your name)—now that is someone with personal credibility!" We all don't experience that type of life though. The great news is this: We can experience greater personal credibility—if we are willing to honestly evaluate ourselves, look at our own actions and behaviors, and build some new habits.

© Copyright Pearson Education. All rights reserved.