Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. An alien goes into a store, walks up to the clerk, and asks to buy some fruit. It makes the request again and again, each time claiming to speak in a different terrestrial language. Except, the languages are all English, and the kinds of fruit the alien seems to want change with every repetition. And one more thing, it’s a hardware store!
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. An alien goes into a store, walks up to the clerk, and asks to buy some fruit. It makes the request again and again, each time claiming to speak in a different terrestrial language. Except, the languages are all English, and the kinds of fruit the alien seems to want change with every repetition. And one more thing, it’s a hardware store!
Lawrence M. Schoen holds a Ph.D. in cognitive psychology and psycholinguistics. He’s also one of the world’s foremost authorities on the Klingon language, the publisher behind a speculative fiction small press, Paper Golem.
He’s been a finalist for the John W. Campbell Award and the Hugo Award. Some of his most popular writing deals with the ongoing adventures of a space-faring stage hypnotist named the Amazing Conroy and his animal companion Reggie, an alien buffalito that can eat anything and farts oxygen.
Lawrence lives near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania with his wife, Valerie, who is neither a psychologist nor a Klingon speaker.
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