Power Moves: Livin' the American Dream, USA Style

( 1 )

Overview

Meet Karl Welzein, aka Captain Karl, aka @DadBoner on Twitter—the Midwest's most beautiful loser

Karl Welzein is really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys.

His job is a drag and his wife kicked him out, but that's okay. She wears granny panties and is constantly dropping wads of cash at Target, and his son cries all the time. Now his "temporary" roommate, Dave, ate all the Totino's pizza rolls. Again. ...

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Power Moves: A Guide to Livin' the American Dream, USA Style

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Overview

Meet Karl Welzein, aka Captain Karl, aka @DadBoner on Twitter—the Midwest's most beautiful loser

Karl Welzein is really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys.

His job is a drag and his wife kicked him out, but that's okay. She wears granny panties and is constantly dropping wads of cash at Target, and his son cries all the time. Now his "temporary" roommate, Dave, ate all the Totino's pizza rolls. Again. Karl Welzein is sick of this. So sick of this.

Power Moves chronicles the hilarious decline of Karl Welzein on his journey from life as a Dockers-and-golfshirt-wearing dad to a ponytailed party maniac who spits out his life philosophies like a modern-day Charles Bukowski (if he preferred to get drunk at Applebee's).

A middle-aged Michigan native, Karl may be overweight, prone to questionable fashion and culinary choices, oblivious to his drinking problem, a poor excuse for an employee, obsessed with the restroom, and a terrible husband, father, and friend . . . but in his heart he means well. He's just like a lot of us—he loves the USA, Guy Fieri, bold flavors, Bob Seger, and thinking he looks jacked in a tight tee and Maui Jim sunglasses. Karl is an everyman and like no other man on the planet all at once.

Inspired by the Twitter feed @DadBoner, Karl finally tells his full story. He shares his wisdom on fitness (1. Look at a pic of Stone Cold Steve Austin. 2. Do 'shups 'til you look like Stone Cold. 3. Cut off your sleeves), diet (Eat only the filling of the Taco Bell Beefy Melts for maximum flavor and low-carb health), fashion (Wearin' boots with jean shorts says "I like to keep cool, but I'm ready if the action gets hot"), work life (If you don't have a job that makes you want to kill yourself, you don't deserve to drink until you want to die), and the bliss of the perfect weekend (beers, brats, and babes' chest beefers).

But above all, this is a story about America—the real red, white, and blue America of today. Welcome to Karl's world. Reading this book is the ultimate Power Move.

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Editorial Reviews

Anthony Bourdain
“Karl Welzein’s is a tale of heartbreak, persistence, pathos—and Bold Flavors. He is a Man’s Man-manlier even. A True American. A Tastemaker. His delusional optimism could be a metaphor for America. 140 characters at a time, he has gifted us with an epic unrivaled since Homer.”
GQ
“One of the funniest stars on Twitter, Karl Welzein, a.k.a. @DadBoner a.k.a. actual comedian Mike Burns, will now be one of the funniest things on your bookshelf.”
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780062233233
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 7/9/2013
  • Pages: 256
  • Sales rank: 964,054
  • Product dimensions: 5.86 (w) x 7.26 (h) x 0.93 (d)

Meet the Author

Karl Welzein is the president and CEO of Bad Boy City, USA. He lives in Grand Blanc, MI, but keeps it chillin' successfully with all the babes from coast to coast. Mr. Welzein chronicles his life on the Twitter feed @DadBoner.

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Customer Reviews

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Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 13, 2013

    FUNNIEST book to come out in a long time, you guys.

    FUNNIEST book to come out in a long time, you guys.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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