The next time someone treats you badly, don't start yelling or vow to get revenge. But don't quietly walk away either. Instead, just WAC'em!
"WAC" is Barbara Pachter's formula for finding the words to make you "polite and powerful" in virtually every kind of difficult conversation. It's a combination of traditional business etiquette, good manners, and a decent concern for another person's feelings, employing the techniques of assertive-but not aggressive-behavior. This leads to positive confrontations, situations in which you deal with unpleasant people in a way that's neither nasty to them nor demeaning to you, but does get them to change their ways.
"WAC," the acronym for this approach, stands for the three things you need to find out in every conflict: What: what's really bothering you? Ask: What do you want the other person to do or change? Check-in: Find out what the other person thinks about changing his behavior.
For each of these steps, Pachter offers detailed instructions and dozens of real-life illustrations. For example, to find out what's really bothering you, you need to avoid generalizations and concentrate on the specifics of the individual situation. Don't simply label the other person's behavior as "selfish." Instead ask yourself what the specific behavior is that makes you believe he or she is being selfish.
Pachter also shows you how to use the "WAC'em" technique to be polite and powerful in writing, in "cyberspace," and in a wide variety of sticky situations. And she tells you what to do when you find yourself getting "WAC'ed." The Power of Positive Confrontation will give you the skills you need to lead a more conflict-free life.