Powerful Conversations: How High Impact Leaders Communicate

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Chapter 2: The Structure and Impact of Powerful Conversations

In most organizations today, too much time and energy are wasted on communication. The waste lies not in the effort but the effectiveness. Leaders in these companies try to communicate effectively, but they largely don't succeed. The net result: less efficiency, effectiveness, and productivity, and more missed opportunities that would have been capitalized upon if people were communicating powerfully I would take this a step further: I believe that organizations rise or fall based on the power of the conversations taking place within them.

Powerful Conversations are, among other things, a way to drive out the dysfunctionalities within your organization. They are also the key to unleashing the real power inside individuals within your organization. Powerful Conversations breed a powerful organization. Ineffective communication, on the other hand, results in a trail of lost opportunity.

Consider, as an example, the high-tech wars of the 1980s. As a vice president at Keane, Inc.—then a blossoming start-up, now a billion-dollar company—I was a witness to (and sometimes a participant in) these wars. Time and again, I saw companies underperform when their leaders were not talking and listening effectively. This reinforced for me how collaborative communication, openness, and trust fundamentally improve an organization's ability to compete, grow, and respond to rapid change.

Twenty years ago, Digital Equipment Corporation (DEC) led the way with small and mid-range computers. (Microsoft and the other industry titans today were not even on the radarscreen.) DEC stands out not only because of its early success, but because of its dramatic fall. )"en new markets emerged in personal computers, software, and systems integration, DEC stuck to its traditional business despite the warnings of its smartest People and its best customers. DECs leaders (Ken Olsen and his top lieutenants) were so grateful to the technology that had gotten the company so far so fast that they didn't want to hear what others were saying, both within and outside the organization, about the imminent obsolescence of that technology. People told DECs leadership that the company had to switch gears, but they soon realized that their warnings were falling on deaf ears. Eventually, they stopped telling.

Many of DECs best people left in frustration. Some of these people ended up leading the organizations that would eventually overwhelm DEC when the industry indeed turned. DECs failure to keep pace wasn't due to the fact that it lacked the resources to compete in these new markets, for DEC had capital like no other company in the industry. The problem was all about communication-the good ideas simply weren't getting out into the open and weren't being heard. By 1998, DECs fall was complete: it had lost so much market share that Compaq was able to snatch it up.

Even at Keane, a great success by any standards, I look back and know the company could have done even better in creating a forum for new thinking and ideas. For example, I remember talking to a young man who worked for me named Eric Bedell. He was passionately excited about a dramatic new idea he'd heard the night before at a Boston Computer Society meeting. A fellow named Mitch Kapor had spoken to the group about his vision of applying PC technology to spreadsheets. It may sound like common sense today, but it was a radical idea for the time. That night, Kapor also made what amounted to an open plea for help in building his new company. Eric was interested in the idea-for Keane. We had an open culture, but not one that would seriously entertain such a radical idea. I tried in vain to dissuade Eric with strong warnings about the weaknesses of this new small-market computing, but he felt strongly about the market's potential. So he left Keane and went to work for this start-up, a company called Lotus Development Corporation. The next time I saw Eric, he was in a limo at Kennedy Airport and I was waiting for a taxi in the rain.

All organizations make mistakes. The best organizations constantly work to identify and rectify the communication failures and gaps that underlie those mistakes so that the same mistakes won't happen again. Hewlett-Packard, the only hardware manufacturer of any size and scope that has stayed near the top as the DECs of the world fell, leads by a principle of collaborative interaction. The leaders there encourage people to dig down into what they are really thinking to unearth the best ideas and discover the real opportunities. This is the same principle behind Microsofts famous "e-mails to and from Bill." It's also how Cisco Systems operates, motivating people in the organization to speak up and express what's really going on. High-Impact Leaders use the most effective ways available to communicate with people because they know they cannot possibly see what is around the next comer. And you can never predict who within your organization will stumble onto the next big idea. That is why every conversation is critical.

That is also why High-Impact Leaders prepare for their conversations—so that they can make the most of their interactions. Mike Ruettgers, president of EMC Corporation, carries a notebook with him wherever he goes. In that notebook, he painstakingly records what people tell him and what he tells people. He doesn't want to lose track of an idea. Nor does he want to break a commitment he makes. Mike Ruettgers did not start off being a naturally gifted communicator, but he worked at it. He did this through deliberate and structured usage of Powerful Conversations technology. Today, it is one of the most effective tools in his leadership arsenal for driving conversations toward results. If Powerful Conversations weren't about results, then Mike Ruettgers wouldn't bother. But they do lead to results. So Mike Ruettgers uses them.

The ability to generate and manage quality conversations distinguishes effective leaders. It is the way they share critical business knowledge' ask tough questions, test assumptions, and catalyze action. It is the means through which they initiate requests and obtain commitments. It is how they get results. And natural-born communication skills have nothing to do with it.

The Stages of A Powerful Conversation

All leaders who strive to communicate in more effective ways need a clear understanding of how Powerful Conversations are structured and how they forge a deep connection between participants. To that end, let's examine the progression of a Powerful Conversation.

A Powerful Conversation typically proceeds in three stages.

• Stage One. In the beginning of a Powerful Conversation, the initiator of the conversation sets up his or her agenda with an honest feeling or a sincere expression of need. For our purposes, I use the term agenda to describe a desired outcome-that is, a goal or a set of goals that require the cooperation, support, and commitment of one or more persons. The statement of an honest feeling or a sincere need signals to the other participant(s) in the conversation the importance of the agenda. It also constitutes a request for help and contribution.
• Stage Two. In the middle of a Powerful Conversation, there is a discussion of the issues enmeshed in the agenda. A High-Impact Leader skillfully probes for the wants and needs of the other participant. In this way, he or she uncovers the goals of the other person(s) that must be met in the process of achieving the leader's own agenda. This is the stage where the High-Impact Leader surfaces any hidden agendas and connects facts with underlying assumptions in order to advance his or her agenda.
• Stage Three. In the closing stage of a Powerful Conversation, the High-Impact Leader makes sure the participants have nailed down the next steps and are open about what they will do to make those commitments come to life. The closing of a Powerful Conversation is also the time when a High-Impact Leader asks openly whether the other person really got what he or she wanted in that conversation. This is a good way to ensure that a Powerful Conversation will lead to results.

Stages aside, you can always tell whether you have had a Powerful Conversation by examining the conversation for three outcomes:

1. Advancement of an agenda
2. Shared learning
3. A stronger relationship

I call these the three measurements of a Powerful Conversation. They are the telltale signs that reveal whether a Powerful Conversation has taken place. When it indeed has, there is a furthering of trust-and a feeling that next time the parties will reach agreement and advancement of mutual agendas that much faster...