"This is a team effort, Grace. You know that.''
Even through morphine-laden stupor, Grace knew that. From her hospital bed, she looked up at her doctor's facestudy in strength. Good, solid features. A well-boned forehead, Roman nose and a pronounced chin, midnight blue eyes that burned fire, tar-black hair streaked with silver. His expression, though grave, was completely self-assured. Someone who knew what he wanted and expected to get it. Truth be told, the man looked downright arrogant.
Which was exactly the kind of doctor Grace had wanted. What she hadn't wanted was some young stud like Ben Casey or an old fart like Marcus Welby with the crinkly eyes and the patient, understanding smile. She had wanted someone bursting with ego. Someone whose superiority was touted, worn with pride like Tiffany jewelry. A self-possession that spoke: Of course the operation is going to be successful. Because I always succeed Because getting a new heart was serious business.
Grace Armstrong had to have the best and the brightest. Had the luxury to afford the best and the brightest And in Dr. Azor Moses Sparks, she had gotten numero uno.
Dope was winning the battle of wits with Grace's brain. Sparks's face had lost clarity, sat behind a curtain of haze, his features becoming blurry except for the eyes. They peered through the muck like high-beam head lights. She wanted to go to sleep. But Sparks's presence told her she wasn't permitted to do that . . . not just yet.
He spoke in authoritative, stentorian tones. The sounds bounced around Grace's brain, words reverberating as if uttered through a malfunctioning PA system. Doctor's voice. . . ". . . what we have here,Grace. A team comprised of me: the primary surgeon; you: the patient; and my staff-the other fine surgeons and nurses who'll assist me in this procedure."
Grace liked how Dr. Sparks had emphasized his fine staff. As if he owned New Christian Hospital.
Maybe he did.
She closed her eyes, anxiety now replaced by the overwhelming need to go comatose. But Sparks wouldn't let up.
"Grace, open your eyes. We still have uncompleted business to finish."
Grace opened her eyes.
"We mustn't forget someone very important," Sparks reminded her. "The most important member of our team."
The surgeon paused.
"Do you know who that is, Grace? Do you know whose Hands really control this entire effort?"
Grace was silent. Though groggy and heavy, she felt her ailing heart fluttering too fast. He was testing her and she was flunking. She regarded Sparks through panicky eyes. The doctor smiled, gently patted her hand The gesture reassured her immensely.
Sparks pointed upward. Grace's eyes followed the narcotic-induced flickering path of the surgeon's index finger.
Respectfully, Sparks said, "We mustn't forget Him."
"God?'' Grace was breathless.
"Yes, Grace.'' Sparks nodded "We mustn't forget our holy, heavenly Father."
Grace spoke, her words barely recognizable. "Believe me, Dr. Sparks, I've been praying nonstop."
Sparks smiled It lit up his face, gave warmth to his stern demeanor. "I'm very glad to hear that. So let us pray together, Grace. Let us both ask God for His help and for His guidance."
The surgeon went down on his knees. At that moment, Grace thought him very odd, but didn't comment. Sparks 's manner suggested that the ritual wasn't subject to debate. She closed her eyes, managed to put her hands together.
"Dear heavenly Father,'' Sparks began, "be our guiding light through this time of darkness. Be a strong beacon to direct us through this upcoming storm. Show us Your mercy and Your love in its abundancy. Let Your wisdom be our wisdom. Your perfection be our perfection. Let Grace Armstrong be upmost in her fortitude. Give her strength and faith. In Your abundant love, allow me and my staff to be swift and sure-footed as we embark on another journey to heal the sick and mend the feeble."
Grace winced inside at the word feeble.
"And now a moment of silence," Sparks said "You may add your own words of prayer here, Grace."
Her own words were: Please, let me go to sleep, wake up and have this shitty ordeal behind me.
Sparks's eyes were still closed Grace's head felt leaden, her brain so woozy it threatened to shut down. She managed to make out Sparks's face, his lids opening. Suddenly, his eyes seemed injected with newly found vigor.
Grace liked that.
Sparks regarded his patient, swept his skilled hands over her lids, and gently closed them. ''Go to sleep, Grace. Tomorrow you'll be a new woman."
Grace felt herself going under. No longer was her health in her hands.
It was up to Sparks.
It was up to God.
At that moment, they were one and the same.
Copyright ) 1996 by Faye Kellerman