Prince of Poison [NOOK Book]

Overview

For decades, Pamela Kaufman has entertained a loyal readership with the mesmerizing and often hilarious adventures of Alix of Wanthwaite, madcap medieval beauty. In Shield of Three Lions, the unflappable Alix braved the crusades dressed as a man to spar with the king of England over her birthright. Banners of Gold saw her taken hostage, drawn into a web of international politics, and entangled in the heartstrings of three different men. Now, The Prince of Poison finds Alix homeward bound at last, with a ...
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Prince of Poison

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Overview

For decades, Pamela Kaufman has entertained a loyal readership with the mesmerizing and often hilarious adventures of Alix of Wanthwaite, madcap medieval beauty. In Shield of Three Lions, the unflappable Alix braved the crusades dressed as a man to spar with the king of England over her birthright. Banners of Gold saw her taken hostage, drawn into a web of international politics, and entangled in the heartstrings of three different men. Now, The Prince of Poison finds Alix homeward bound at last, with a half-royal child in tow and an angry monarch on her trail.

Set amidst the pomp and savagery of twelfth-century Europe, the Alix of Wanthwaite trilogy renders a glorious mishmash of ruffians, peasants, troubadours, murderers, pretenders, barons, princesses, and popes in charming and disarming detail. Alix’s bawdy, free-wheeling narration wickedly lampoons historical notables like Richard the Lion Heart and Eleanor of Aquitaine, spinning the historical novel in a fresh direction.

This guide is designed to enhance your group’s discussion of Alix’s escapades in The Prince of Poison.
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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
This brisk if jumbled historical romance concludes the author's trilogy about Lady Alix of Wanthwaite, a 13th-century English noblewoman whom trouble seems to follow. Most pressingly, King John, the prince of the title, believes Lady Alix to be carrying the bastard son of his dead brother Richard the Lion-Hearted-i.e., the rightful heir-so John marks her and her unborn child for death. After biting the king's member at the climax of a highly improbable but winningly bawdy opening chase scene, Alix, who narrates, escapes back to England with the help of Norman Jews and has the baby-a boy, natch. Unfortunately her legal husband and true love, the Scotsman Enoch, has thought her dead, and remarried, and John is soon back on the trail of Alix and son Theo. Alix and Theo are separated, and John eventually tracks Theo down. John does not relent, but Alix has connections, and Enoch is never completely out of the picture. Kaufman, who lives in L.A., mixes sound historiography and vivid dialogue with implausible events; this follow-up to Banners of Gold gets good mileage out of genre conventions. (Apr.) Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.
Kirkus Reviews
Third volume in Kaufman's Alix of Wanthwaite romance cycle (Banners of Gold, 2002, etc.) tracks the noblewoman's voyage back to England to face the dreaded wrath of King John and claim her home and husband. She's still the most beautiful damsel in all of Europe, as proclaimed by the now-deceased Richard the Lion Heart, whose child she is carrying. (She was abducted by the king two years before and pressed to become his concubine.) Alix is trying to flee France for Wanthwaite when King John finds her in the woods and exposes his impressive "Raoul" for servicing. Alix eludes him-bites him, actually-and is sheltered by the Jewish community in Rouen. There she has her baby, Theo, and sparks a sympathetic friendship with the courtly Bonel. While Alix hopes that Theo might be able to ascend the throne of England, she is eager to return to Wanthwaite, where she hopes her Scottish husband Enoch still lives. Bonel lovingly arranges her flight, but mother and child are separated for good. Uncouth Enoch is in the process of remarrying when Alix finally makes her way home, though that doesn't stop him from raping her. When Alix finds herself pregnant with his child, the pair conspire to present the baby to the powerful land-owning barons as the true heir to the English throne, despite a slight problem with conception dates. Grasping, capricious King John must be restrained, so Alix and Enoch meet with Cardinal Langton and other barons in order to draft a charter, the Magna Carta, to preserve certain liberties and ownership. They are further enlisted to penetrate Windsor Castle and try to assassinate King John, who dies mysteriously anyway. It's all rather giddy and far-fetched, though Alix's kinshipwith Bonel the Jew establishes a nice historical symbiosis. A goofy, breathy finale.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780307345400
  • Publisher: Crown Publishing Group
  • Publication date: 4/11/2006
  • Sold by: Random House
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 432
  • Sales rank: 336,925
  • File size: 504 KB

Read an Excerpt

Enoch and England

Book One


Enoch. Suddenly the very name was a sunburst in my soul. I'd dwelt so completely on the fact that his death was a lie, that Richard had lied to me, that I hadn't been fully aware till this moment of the portent of that lie. Enoch lived, that was the miracle, as remarkable as if I'd learned that my father and mother awaited me at Wanthwaite. . . . There was a long hazardous road ahead with Enoch, and I wasn't ready to ride it yet.

Meantime, it was enough to know that he breathed the same air I did, knew dawn and sunset, hope and despair. He might hate me forever, but I was still glad he lived.

Now I must face the physical dangers at my heels. I walked to Sea Mew and mounted. Hamo and Bok, dressed as gardeners, mounted as well.

Had the death knell stopped ringing, or were we beyond its reach? Above, an invisible lark trilled its song.

"Where is the closest port where we might sail with safety?" I asked Hamo.

Surprised at my purposeful tone, he thought a moment. "Bordeaux. It's the queen's favorite city, but she rarely goes there."

"Which way?"

He pointed directly toward the sun, where it already rested at a blinding angle on the topmost branches, and beyond to the long slope to the sea.

"Stay low as we cross the mead," I ordered.

Once again the world transformed itself, not from rain to tears or to diamonds, but to sunstruck sea spray.

I bent and whispered to Sea Mew. "It's time to swim the channel, darling. Hoyt!"

Ears raised with joy, he flew fast as a bird toward the radiance that was England.

From Banners of Gold



Enoch and England.

Enoch and England.

My head nodded to the rhythm of the hooves.

You're being followed.

You're being followed.

I woke with a start. Ahead of me, Bok and Hamo were already dismounted--they'd heard it, too.

"Quick, off your horse!" Hamo grabbed my reins.

"Not here! Bordeaux!"

The hoofbeats behind us were getting closer.

Bok jerked me to the ground. "Into that oak--climb high! Quick, Lady Alix! It's your life!" He adjusted his noseguard.

One oak among small pines. Beyond them, the sea washed a wide beach.

Hamo barked from his horse. "Take cover--we'll avoid fighting if we can!" Both had discarded their gardening tunics. "We'll guard your horse!" They rode toward the north with Sea Mew behind them.

I was alone, with only the pines, the oak, and a pile of brush on the scrubby landscape. My heart pounded like a kettle in the absolute silence--well, not absolute, angry rooks flapped from the oak and, on the far side of a line of spindly baby pines, the sea's hissing rolled and retreated. Now male voices rumbled over the sound of hooves. King John! Deus juva me!

I dashed to the oak, tripped on my borrowed nun's habit, and fell heavily onto my gravid stomach! When I could breathe again, I crawled toward the oak. Too late to climb-- horses were here, the male voices clear--I crouched behind the thick trunk and just hoped it sufficed, barely before royal routiers pushed into sight.

One pointed to where I'd dismounted. "Ils se sont arretees ici."

"Pas pour longtemps. Tu vois les traces qui diregent vers le nord?"

The first laughed derisively. "C'est sans doute un ruse. Le roi dit qu'elle essayerait d'atteindre un port--Bordeaux est le plus proche."

Never underestimate his intelligence, I heard Richard warn. Aye, if intelligence be to seize the throne from Richard's unborn son I was now carrying, but to know I was planning to escape through Bordeaux! More than intelligent--the man was uncanny! At least his knights had been too distracted by the hoofprints to see me!

Eleven horsemen had dismounted to examine the hoofprints. Suddenly they fell to their knees--King John rode into sight. He looked much as I'd seen him not an hour ago at Fontevrault, except that he appeared even more inebriated. Dressed in the long red tunic of a Plantagenet king, he held a flask in his glove, from which he drank before he looked. He'd finished his pork rib, though a faint dribble of fat ran down his chin. When he tried to dismount, he sprawled on the ground.

"Bitte, je suis bourre!" He giggled helplessly. "Je suis dans le vigne du seigneur!"

Two knights helped him to his feet, as if accustomed to this task.

"Have you found the bitch?" the king asked thickly.

The knight on his right, a short man with a nose like a parrot's beak, pointed to the hoof marks.

"A trick, you stupid pissants!" John staggered along the tracks. "Her guards went north and she's probably hidden somewhere close." He looked up into my oak. "You find her knights--I'll take care of the slut."

The man with the parrot nose had to wear his noseguard to the side. Nevertheless, the giant formidable destriers made me fear for poor Hamo and Bok.

"So we're alone." John emptied his flask and tossed it away. "No hurry." He laughed. For the first time, I felt real fear; drunkalew he might be, but he was dangerous. "Time to fuck, time to die! After you give me the document you promised." He shook his head. "Oc, promised. And I waited while you went to fetch it from the convent." He belched softly. "Do you believe the philosophers who say that love and death are connected? Mesiphisically--metaphysically--do you?"

He reached under his tunic to find his tool, then pissed into a bush. When he'd shaken himself dry, he whined, "Why didn't you give me Richard's document when I asked you at Fontevrault, eh? I asked you nicely, didn't I? That's all I want. Must I destroy both you and Richard's brat to get the will? My very first act as king and it's your fault!" He fondled himself. "But why shouldn't I? Comus, I'm king!" He whinnied in jubilant disbelief. "Only your silly bulge between me and security!" He guffawed louder. "As if my faggot brother could push his pathetic worm into your slit!"

He staggered closer; I could smell piss, wine, starch, and rosewater. He stroked his part. "Yet somebody made you gravid, putaine, and you might be clever enough to fool Richard, but not baby John."

He reached the oak. We stared at each other without speaking. He was handsome in the Angevin manner: dark blond wavy hair and beard, full firm lips, straight nose, fringed eyes like icy blue jewels, shifting triangles of sunlight. Yet his face was deadly, deadly and cruel.

"Die." His low musical voicie caressed the word. "Oc, die." He belched. "Most beautiful damsel in all Europe, Richard used to brag. He was right and--unlike him--I'm the expert." He bent close to whisper. "Is your slit beautiful? Can it compete with a boy's anus? That was Richard's taste!" His beard smelled of his pork. "Your face, like a cherub. Aye, my brother sought angelic boys to suck his limp little cock." He put a finger to my lips. "You're about to have a treat!"

He sank to the ground beside me. He reached inside his tunic and pulled out a sharp blade. "Don't be so frightened, sweet; this is merely to assure that you do my bidding." Now he fumbled for his cock again. "Treat, I'll give you a treat, and you'll give me a treat. I like your big titties--is that because you're English or because you carry a brat? French women have no tits! Curious thing, racial characteristics!" He nodded sagely. "Zample: all Normans have big horns in their crotches, like me. Richard was an Aquitanian."

He raised his hips so his tool stood upright. It was, indeed, impressive

"Grand, isn't he?" He stroked himself. "I call him Raoul; Raoul, meet the most beautiful damsel in all Europe." He reached for my face--his blade pressed the back of my neck. "While I suck your bloblos, you'll enjoy Raoul, my chauve a col roule. Turn around! And then . . ." His voice thickened. "Copulation, followed by death. God's feet, it's titillating, isn't it? Philosphers may be right!"

Was I really about to die? Aye, I thought I was--was there no escape? I saw only one.

"Suck my cock!"

I bit Raoul hard! Blood spurted! The dagger fell to the grass!

"Merde!" the king howled.

Where could I hide? Everything open! Then, a rock, out in the sea! I ran toward the surf!

Panting and belching, King John gained upon me. I sobbed--his hand clutched at my tunic--I wrenched away! Leaped over the pile of brush!

"Merde!"

Then suddenly everything was quiet. The rolling waves spread frothy fingers in the sand in stillness. I glanced over my shoulder--my pace slowed. Stopped. Where was the king? Was it a trick? Nothing but small pines, the oak, and the mound of branches. The king's horse munched at new grass. I glanced to the north for his knights, then moved back cautiously to the pile of branches between me and the tree. As I drew close, I heard him--sobs, curses, scratching sounds. The brush had concealed a deer trap! The king had fallen in! Aye, there was a clear hole where he'd stumbled.

"My lord king?" I called softly. What would I do if he were injured?

Cautiously, I peered over the edge. The hole was deep--even standing, John reached hopelessly for the edge. The pit smelled strongly of rotting deer flesh and vomit from former victims.

John saw me!

"Help me, Lady Alix." The king raised his arms, sobbing. "Help your monarch! You can go free, I promise on my word as king, and I'll not chase you more. Your babe can live--you can live. Please!"

"Will you tell your knights to let my men go free?"

"Yes! 'Tis done! On the word of a king! Please, oh, please!" His voice broke. "If you just reach your hand . . ."

"It's too far--can you stand?"

"I think so!" He climbed on the pile of branches that had fallen with him, then clawed on small roots along the side to pull himself closer. "I'll never forget, Lady Alix! Never!" he grunted. "Richard said you were an angel, and you are!"

It was the wrong thing to say; I hesitated. Raoul twisted and turned his avid head like an adder. I withdrew my hand. "An angel, you say?"

"Oui, une ange!"

Now I was hedging for time. I didn't want his demise on my conscience, yet this man was an evil person, clever beyond belief, and he'd threatened me within the last hour. Yet angels don't kill. Nor do they get killed if they have any brains.

"Angels never copulate," I whispered. "The nuns at Fontevrault said this. So I couldn't be an angel, could I?" Not an angel, perhaps, but not a devil either--I couldn't leave him to die.

"An immaculate conception!" John cried. "You're another Mary!"

"Only if King Richard was God, for this is Richard's child, the rightful king of England." I heard horses--quick, where could I hide? Not in the oak! The sea? Aye, the black rock loomed just beyond the surf!

"Stop prattling like a pedant!"

"Oh, not pedantry, my lord!" I rose to my feet--I must run soon, before I was seen! I called softly, "Your knights are coming!"

"Your hand!" But I was running.

Holding my document high, I dashed into the sea--Deo gratias that Enoch had taught me to swim!

"Wait!" John howled. "Where are you?"

The first knight broke through the bushes as I plunged. Tide going out--half crawling and half swimming, I headed to the low rock. Like the time Enoch and I had dipped into the Mediterranean long ago, I opened my mouth to cleanse it. I grabbed at an island of floating seapods so I could be certain of John's fate. He was already out of the trap; his knights pointed back toward Fontevrault while he pointed to the sea. One voice sounded across the surf, "No maiden knows how to swim!"

"She's not a maiden, you fool! After her!" John seemed more sober and angrier after his adventure.

But the knights argued about his royal obligations. Well did I know the routine, for hadn't it been mine until he'd stolen the throne? Still, he protested--like all his family, he hated to fail. This time he had no choice: he must reach Rouen before some other usuperer claimed the crown, there to be inducted as duke of Normandy, then on to Canterbury for the crowning.

Yet he must also walk to the sea before he agreed to return. "You had your chance, bitch! I'm leaving Sir Christopher to finish you!"

The instant he disappeared into the trees, his knight rode with all haste toward Bordeaux!

Nevertheless, I was cautious. The moon rode high and still I sat on my rock waiting for Bok and Hamo. Should I leave without them? Perhaps they'd left without me. I couldn't blame them if they had; though I'd called them my "knights," neither was dubbed. And they'd volunteered only to get me to a port. Yet time was passing and I must retrieve my horse. I would give them three hundred more heartbeats.

I was beginning to tremble. The recent horrors of deception at Fontevrault--a waxy Richard on his death bier, so like life, so really dead--was etched in my rational cell forever; yet why should I tremble? King John was only a buffoon! The real person to fear was Queen Eleanor; it was her poison I dreaded the most. John, though now arrogant of his new power, had created only mischief in his talented family--albeit vicious mischief--and had failed more than he'd succeeded. He was a mosquito to be smacked, not a serpent under my pillow. Furthermore, now that he was king by royal proclamation, he had to solidify his position, then rule. For him, I was a mosquito.

Though I didn't covet England's crown except for my babe, I envied John's safe return to England. Whatever his problems, he wouldn't face a disenchanted spouse. I yearned for Enoch, aye, but I had to face that the feeling might not be mutual. Would he believe that I'd thought him dead? That I would never never have become Richard's concubine if I'd thought Enoch still lived? Or would he point out the truth that I'd been a willing--nay, eager--concubine of the seductive king? The truth was murky. I didn't deny that I'd yearned for King Richard's love when I'd been disguised as a young "boy" on crusade, but never after I'd wed Enoch. And I'd succumbed finally only because I'd been told that my husband was dead. And it was a Scot who'd told me--would Enoch see my side?


From the Trade Paperback edition.
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Table of Contents

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Reading Group Guide

1. Much of the action in the novel occurs at the intersection of humor and violence. The attempted rape in the novel’s opening pages is dotted with puns, for example, and the horror of the shipwreck on page 85 is mitigated by the comedy of Alix resuscitating ducks. How does this affect your reading of the many tragedies in the novel, from Bok’s decapitation to the murder of the pregnant woman at the gates of La Rochelle to the rape of various barons’ wives and daughters? What point is the author making with this juxtaposition?

2. Of her infant son, Alix states, “I was deliriously happy to be loved without ulterior motive” (page 42). What ulterior motives drive Enoch, Bonel, and John in loving (or thinking they love) her?

3. Who leaks the news of Alix’s presence in Rouen? Why does Queen Eleanor have a vested interest in helping Alix and Theo escape? Given their complex history, why does Alix trust Eleanor this time?

4. What is the symbolic significance of the poison frog that Alix nearly strokes on her way home to Wanthwaite? Why does the image recur when Alix arrives in King’s Lynn? Why does Alix initially pretend to lose the little girl’s frog rather than tell her the truth about its dangers? What does this tragic scene on the beach signify?

5. How does Lord Robert convince the Pope that the assassination attempt on John was not only innocent and thus pardonable, but in fact laudable?

6. What does Cardinal Langton stand to gain by assisting the barons? What argument does he present against the writing of a charter? How does he sabotage the Magna Carta they so painstakingly compile?

7. Why has Bonel’s ardor cooled by his second night at Wanthwaite? Why does he refuse Alix’s offer of private acreage on Wanthwaite as a safe haven?

8. What bargaining chip does Alix gain over Queen Isabella? What weakness does it expose in John?

9. What does Bonel mean when he tells the assembly of barons: “I mean no disparagement when I say that we are all Jews together” (page 250). How does his comment affect Enoch?

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 3.5
( 4 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 4 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 17, 2012

    Two Thumps Up

    If you are familiar with the series you'll enjoy the book.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted September 20, 2011

    Light reading.

    I read the trilogy and found it to be fun, light reading.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 21, 2006

    This book is a mess.

    I read and adored the first two books in this series. I find it hard to believe that the same author who wrote the first two books also wrote this mess. The book was full of mis-spelled words, Enoch's dialogue is so indecipherable I gave up trying to read it, and the action is so disjointed that I had a hard time following the story line. Very disappointed - this book will not be joining the first two in their places of honor on my bookshelves.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 3, 2006

    Magna Carta with love, sex and action

    Pam Kaufman opens with the best words: You are 'So beautiful and intelligent at the same time.' Truly, her latest book is a miracle, combing her experiences both from the world of theater and now of history. What a great read! WOW. I found myself slowing down, and then further slowing down as the end neared. I did not want the story to end. I join all your readers in this literary romp. May the Publisher keep you forever busy. What a talent Pamela Kaufman has. BRAVO! She makes page turning a gift. The chapters are just the right length and then she ends them with such dashing, delightful surprises. A number of times I simply put the book down and said outloud, I didn't see that coming. WOW. A tale with sharp insights: 'And, remember that intelligent begins with being realist. Forget wishes, accept what you actually find.' 'Cannon law plus money, don't forget.' 'He listened intently and spoke little, and thus gained authority.' 'Intelligence meant penetration. . . . Intelligence meant cunning.' The treat includes learning much about the Magna Carta which is also included as an Appendix. I confess that It took some time for me to relax with all the dirt and sordid daily life of the 12th Century, even after having read William Mancher's 'A world Lit Only by Fire.' Pamela Kaufman's Alix provides a personal perspective to life with Kings, Earls, Barons, Jews, and Archbishops. far better understand living in that time. Thanks for a Grand Romp.

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