Private Lies: Infidelity and the Betrayal of Intimacy

Overview

Why do half the people in marriages have affairs? What problems are they trying to solve?
Using actual case studies, as well as examples from music, literature, and film, Dr. Pittman identifies four basic patterns of infidelity—the accidental encounter, habitual philandering, marital arrangements, and romance—discussed how to limit the damage that affairs do, and offers practical suggestions on how to make a ...
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Overview

Why do half the people in marriages have affairs? What problems are they trying to solve?
Using actual case studies, as well as examples from music, literature, and film, Dr. Pittman identifies four basic patterns of infidelity—the accidental encounter, habitual philandering, marital arrangements, and romance—discussed how to limit the damage that affairs do, and offers practical suggestions on how to make a marriage work.

Infidelity is the most common major crisis of marriage. In this wise book, a psychiatrist and family therapist discusses four kinds of infidelity, why they happen, and what they mean.

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Editorial Reviews

Maggie Scarf
“Dr. Pittman takes us on a remarkably informative foray into the unknown territory of marital infidelity. Private Lies manages to be delightfully readable, compassionate and awfully funny at the same time.”
Pat Conroy
“Private Lies is the Reconstruction, the National Recovery Act, and the Marshall Plan for families devastated by the flakiness and fluff of the Me Decade. It is a funny, personable, anecdotal yet clearly resounding, fundamental, visionary call for nothing so American as marriage and family. Pittman's program is an appeal through the last few centuries for those old American verities: truth, fidelity, and loyalty. The missiles that destroy the American family, the bombs dropped on the American home, the grenades that split us apart were the neurotic weapons of lies and deceptions. Truth, he tells us, and fidelity are the true and powerful weapons of peace, hope, and unity in the American family. A timely, courageous, necessary message.”
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780393307078
  • Publisher: Norton, W. W. & Company, Inc.
  • Publication date: 11/28/1990
  • Edition description: Reprint
  • Pages: 295
  • Sales rank: 290,723
  • Product dimensions: 5.60 (w) x 8.30 (h) x 0.90 (d)

Meet the Author

Frank Pittman, M.D., was a psychiatrist and family therapist in Atlanta, Georgia. A renowned author of many books, he also wrote a regular column, "Ask Dr. Frank", which appeared in Psychology Today, and was a regular contributor to Psychotherapy Networker. He died in 2012.
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Sort by: Showing all of 5 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 22, 2012

    Very informational

    This book is excellent because it is clinical but written in lay men's language.

    An excellent source of information.

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  • Posted October 11, 2011

    interesting read

    The book explains different personality types for both people in the affair. Very insightful to the mindset of the people that get into affairs with married people. Finally a book that will help you understand just what you are dealing with.

    It does not give any advise of what to do when there is an affair going on with your partner. With the information given you should have ample material to see what you want to do.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 18, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    The Bible for Infidelity (for those who have been cheated on)

    Dr. Pittman counseled thousands of couples going through infidelity. He found common stages the betrayed go through in ALL of the relationships. This book helped me tremendously in what I was going through and about to go through in my divorce. When I found out my wife had been unfaithful it was devastating. It felt like my life had been derailed and this book helped me understand the feelings I had were normal and going to change as time went on. I have recommended this book to many other people who have unfortunately been cheated on and it has helped every single one. I believe this book is the bible for anyone who has been cheated on. You will read it over and over and want to keep it in your library. I still have mine from years ago. Infidelity is a horrible thing to go through and this book helps tremendously in explaining the process. After you read this book, I recommend "His Needs, Her Needs" to better understand the dynamics of what women need and what men need in a relationship. But wait until you finish "Private Lies" and are further down the path to working on yourself.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 22, 2004

    insightful

    Although this book is definitely NOT a Christian book, and the morals expressed are nowhere near Christian, the facts about lies are something that are definitely of value to someone trying to understand the dynamics of an affair and the lies that go with it. It explores the roots of lying about such issues, and explains in plain English the psychological issues connected to affairs and their lies.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 23, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

Sort by: Showing all of 5 Customer Reviews

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