Publish This Book (TP): The Unbelievable True Story of How I Wrote, Sold and Published This Very Book

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Publish This Book (TP): The Unbelievable True Story of How I Wrote, Sold and Published This Very Book Pub. Date: 3/1/2010 Publisher: Sourcebooks, Incorporated

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Overview

Dear Reader-
This is called the "back cover copy," and you are no doubt familiar with its purpose. It describes what the book is about, so you can decide if you want to read it.
Here's the problem, though: I can't even describe this book, and I wrote the damn thing.(1)
Basically, it's like this: fed up with the Byzantine quest of trying to publish a novel, I decide instead to cut to the chase and write a memoir about trying to publish a book-this book, to be precise.
Of course, now you're saying to yourself, "That is stupid," which is fair. But then you'll read it, and you'll say, "Damn, that was actually pretty good."
Because obviously it's about much more than just publishing a book. It's about life and love and friendship; politics, pop culture, and basketball; sex, drugs, and mild, inoffensive, slow-tempo Christian rock.(2)
It's about the pitfalls of narrating your life as it unfolds, freaking out when an agent actually (spoiler alert!) takes an interest in this bizarre experiment, and the surreal shock you undergo when a publisher actually buys it(3) and you suddenly realize that every secret drunk, drug, and sex story you've related will now be required reading for your parents, aunts, ex-girlfriends, and thousands of strangers who-you were kind of hoping-would never find out that you once accidentally shut your penis in a dresser drawer.(4)
And finally, but most importantly, it's about those tumultuous early years of adulthood-the years when hope and fear and rage broil together and the promise of youth still holds the capacity to inspire awe. This is a story of those struggles-to find your true voice in your work and in your life. And the best part?
You pretty much know it has a happy ending.(5)
1 What's beside it on the shelf? Something with a sexy vampire? If you're looking for sexy, I do full-frontal nudity in Chapter 11.
2 It is not really about that last one.
3 And then later makes you write your own back cover copy even though you clearly do not know what you're doing.
4 Although I'll dodge a bullet there because I totally left that story out of the book.
5 Except for what happens to the puppy at the fertilizer plant. I admit, that part is kind of a downer.

Editorial Reviews

a readers corner WarningLiterature

Markley's voice is honest, sarcastic, intelligent and dirty.

More Reviews (1) Fewer Reviews

From The Critics

It is ambitious and entertaining.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781402229350
Publisher: Sourcebooks, Incorporated
Publication date: 3/1/2010
Pages: 469
Sales rank: 528,469
Product dimensions: 5.50 (w) x 8.40 (h) x 1.40 (d)

Meet the Author

Stephen Markley is one of the featured columnists for the Tribune Company's RedEye newspaper, which is targeted toward a twentysomething audience and is the largest weekday newspaper in Chicago. Markley graudated Phi Beta Kappa and magna cum laude from Miami University in 2006. He lives in Chicago, IL.

Read an Excerpt

Excerpt from Chapter One: The Gist

I had two ways to start this book. In the first, I would tell a completely irrelevant and unnecessary anecdote that would nevertheless say something about what kind of book this would be.
Something like:
One day in college I was sitting in my room, when my roommate Scott burst out of the bathroom, half of his face still covered in shaving cream, and declared, as if he had just figured out time travel, "You know what they need to invent? A machine that lets you shave and take a shit at the same time." I stared at him for a moment, my mind racing as I envisioned all kinds of complicated gizmos (my composite notion included some type of suctioning tubing and a robotic razor arm), before
I realized that what he was describing could be "invented" quite easily by building a sink and mirror facing a toilet. Despite being two members of Miami University's elite honors department, this was the typical level of intellectual discourse in our apartment. Whenever I hear politicians say something trite about how our young people are the future, I think of Scott.
So that was one option. My second choice would be something stark, bold, and declarative like:
"My name is Stephen Markley, and I'm a writer."
Obviously, I had trouble deciding which way to go, so here we are nearly half a page later already feeling like this is the beginning of some epic disaster-the Iraq war of book openings.[1] Let me try one last time:
My name is Stephen Markley, and I call myself many things-son, brother, friend, Cavs fan, erudite,[2] liberal, incompetent,
Buckeye, OSU fan, emotionally distant, Blazers fan, sexually adequate well over 40 percent of the time-but first and foremost, I call myself a writer.
I guess that designation depends on how you define a "writer."
Hell, plenty of people write-maybe in a daily journal or a blog or perhaps they fiddle with poetry or simply jot down notes and amusing anecdotes. Basically everyone occasionally records something for posterity.[3]
Most people, however, do not consider a person who simply writes to be a "writer." No, I am a writer in the sense that I want someone to pay me for my unrelenting genius. I want some poor bastard to plop down between seven and fifteen dollars for my sentences because I've demonstrated the mesmerizing ability to match nouns with verbs and, occasionally, adjectives. If you're reading this, then that poor bastard is likely you, so I thank you for spending money on my humble insights, my analysis of the human condition.[4]

[1] Too soon? That was probably too soon.
[2] I didn't actually know what that word meant when I wrote it. Thank you,
Microsoft Word thesaurus tool...
[3] I don't want to get too philosophical here, but once you commit a thought to paper it takes on a separate life from the organism it was while living inside your head. While in your head, this thought is like a high school dropout taking bong rips in his parents' basement. Once committed to paper, however, this thought becomes a college graduate with a degree in marketing, a thought who has even begun to date a respectable girl. In other words, this thought now has a future.
[4] I apologize in advance for the profanity, violence, pornographic digressions, and for calling you a poor bastard just then. That was definitely out of line.

One: The Gist, 1
Two: Where to Begin, 11
Three: Chicago-Based Freelance Writer, 29
Four: The Parts of This Book that Belong in the Toilet, 51
Five: Nick Hornby Must Be in This Book, 69
Six: Forget This Book, 83
Seven: Autobiographical Digression #1: Leaving Behind the Skin from Your Knees, 99
Eight: How to Get Rejected, 119
Nine: And in the Meantime Life Goes On, 135
Ten: Chicago Cold, 155
Eleven: And the Good News?, 173
Twelve: The Call, 193
Thirteen: Autobiographical Digression #2: Confessions of a Campus Firebrand, 219
Fourteen: Whose Opinion Counts, 247
Fifteen: Please Don't Fact-Check This Chapter, 269
Sixteen: Expansive, Self-Critical, Honest, Jumpy, Surprising, Self-Confident, Cynical, Smart, and Very, Very Funny, 299
Seventeen: Wrong-Headed, Condescending Toward the Reader, Self-Involved, and Unintentionally Revealing, 311
Eighteen: Never Start a Story with Dialogue, 327
Nineteen: The Chapter I Called "Wildheart," 347
Twenty: The Footnotes, 373
Twenty-one: So You Know What Happens with This Book, 381
Twenty-two: Autobiographical Digression #3: Why We Write, 403
Twenty-three: This Book, Published, 435
Epilogue: The Wrap-Up, 451
Acknowledgments, 463
About the Author, 471

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5

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La_Tiger

Posted September 6, 2011

A scam filled with childish crap and F bombs

I thought this book would be more about publishing an actual book as I am assisting a TRUE writer and wanted more direction. Instead, this "book" turned out to be a messy collection of immature school and college stories of sex, drugs, drinking and nothingness. If you can get through all the F words filling every page, you only find political rants (don't read this if you are a conservative or Tea Party member because it will only tick you off)and inconsiderate blubbering.

What a waste of money and a joke. (I'm so glad that I only checked it out from the library and did not buy it).

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
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Anonymous

Posted July 15, 2010

So glad they did....

This book made me socially awkward in a dozen different situations. I would literally burst out laughing, and everyone in the room would turn and look a me. But I didn't care, because I was only halfway done with the book. Buy this book. I promise you will not regret it.
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lisa__lynn

Posted May 15, 2010

Funny, youthful memoir

The concept of this book is interesting in itself, but the book goes much farther than just the process of publishing a book. Markley has a great sense of humor that is both youthful and random, and his style of writing had me laughing, as well as reading to find out what would happen next. I finished the book much faster than I expected to; it definitely garnered my attention. I was able to connect to the book and the humor, and enjoyed that I was reading a book written by someone close to my age, which isn't always the case. Overall, I found it to be a funny, youthful, memorable memoir.
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lafergely

Posted May 14, 2010

Funniest book i ever read

This book is freakin HILARIOUS! I laugh out loud constantly (so beware if you're in a quiet place--the folks at the DMV looked at me like I was crazy), and it's insightful, touching, silly, and damn fun. Hell, I was hooked after just reading the back of the book cover. I wanna hang out and have a beer with Stephen Markley...
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Anonymous

Posted April 25, 2010

For the love of God, buy this book.

I literally could not put this book down. This book had me laughing out loud just about every chapter, to the point where I had to literally fight from keeping myself from calling friends to read certain passages aloud to them.

This book is so much more than just being a book about publishing said book, it's a love story, a tale of growing into adulthood, and what it really is like to be a struggling writer.

For the love of God, please buy this book so that he can write another one. You won't regret it.
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MHW

Posted April 22, 2010

Read This Book!

Stephen Markley puts it all out there in this hilarious and insightful memoir. If you are between the ages of 18 and 40 and have ever tried to define yourself in this world, you must read this book. Markley puts himself out there and shows that being an author is not always the way we imagine and life still plays its games with you even when you think you are on your way.
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Publish This Book (TP): The Unbelievable True Story of How I Wrote, Sold and Published This Very Book

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More About This Book

Overview

Related Subjects

Editorial Reviews

a readers corner WarningLiterature

From The Critics

Product Details

Meet the Author

Read an Excerpt

Table of Contents

Rating Distribution

A scam filled with childish crap and F bombs

So glad they did....

Funny, youthful memoir

Funniest book i ever read

For the love of God, buy this book.

Read This Book!