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Rotten School #11: Punk'd and Skunked
By R.L. Stine
HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.Copyright © 2007 R.L. Stine
All right reserved.
"Dudes, here's a spelling lesson," I told my friends. "How do you spell excitement?"
Belzer scratched his head. "Does it start with an X?"
I patted him on the back. "Nice try."
Belzer grinned his lopsided grin. "It was a lucky guess," he said.
"Yo, Belzer," Feenman said. "Do big noses run in your family?"
"I've heard that joke," Belzer said.
Feenman grinned. "Who's joking?"
"Give it a rest," I said. I pulled Feenman, Crench, Belzer, Nosebleed, and Billy the Brain into the Common Room. "This is how you spell excitement," I said.
That's me, see. I'm Bernie Bridges. Some people call me Grandmaster Dude, King of All the Fourth Graders. But I'd never say anything like that. I'm waaay too modest.
But when I have news, I have NEWS. That's why I dragged all my guys into the Common Room. It's a big room with couches and chairs, a TV, and a game table. It's like our living room.
You probably go home every day after school. But Rotten School is a boarding school. That means we live here, in a dorm. It's actually a falling down, old house called Rotten House. It's the best dorm on campus—mainly because Bernie B. liveshere.
Oops. There I go, being modest again!
My friend Beast was chewing a couch cushion. It took three guys to pull him away.
Beast is a good guy. But we're not sure if he's really human. He's too hairy to be a human. And last week he got caught chewing his initials into a tree trunk.
I like him. But I keep my fingers away from his mouth.
I stood at the head of the game table. "Dudes, I know you're wondering why I invited you here," I said.
Crench rolled his eyes. "Bernie, we know why," he said. "You want to have a poker game tonight. But we can't."
"We're broke," Feenman said. "You already took all our money. I swear!"
I made a spitting sound. "Forget poker games," I said. "That's small potatoes. I've got something BIG. Something exciting with a capital X!"
Now I had their attention. I pulled open my school blazer so they could see my T-shirt.
They all stared at it. Belzer sounded out the letters.
"Bernie, what's your problem?" Nosebleed asked. "Why does that say PPP on it?"
Beast tossed his head back and hee-hawed. "P-P-P. Get it? Get it?"
Crench tugged the front of my shirt. "If you have to go pee-pee, why wear a shirt about it?"
I pushed his hands away. "Crench, what did I tell you about trying to make a joke?
Do you want to strain your brain for life?"
"Well, what does PPP stand for?" Billy the Brain asked.
Yes! I even stumped the class brainiac!
"I'll tell you," I said.But it'll take a whole chapter to explain it. Keep reading, everyone. . . .
Excerpted from Rotten School #11: Punk'd and Skunked by R.L. Stine Copyright © 2007 by R.L. Stine. Excerpted by permission.
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