Race Manners: Navigating the Minefield Between Black and White Americans

Overview

Americans are mired in racial assumptions, misunderstandings, biases - about everything from Ebonics to Elvis, O.J. Simpson to affirmative action, ethnic jokes to interracial sex. Race Manners shows us how we can confront them, not by offering lofty abstractions, sterile policy statements, or a saccharine celebration of multicultural relativism, but instead by giving us practical, sane, intelligent, and heartfelt advice. Here is a book that will help all of us make our way ...
See more details below
Available through our Marketplace sellers.
Other sellers (Hardcover)
  • All (24) from $1.99   
  • New (3) from $26.87   
  • Used (21) from $1.99   
Close
Sort by
Page 1 of 1
Showing All
Note: Marketplace items are not eligible for any BN.com coupons and promotions
$26.87
Seller since 2014

Feedback rating:

(11)

Condition:

New — never opened or used in original packaging.

Like New — packaging may have been opened. A "Like New" item is suitable to give as a gift.

Very Good — may have minor signs of wear on packaging but item works perfectly and has no damage.

Good — item is in good condition but packaging may have signs of shelf wear/aging or torn packaging. All specific defects should be noted in the Comments section associated with each item.

Acceptable — item is in working order but may show signs of wear such as scratches or torn packaging. All specific defects should be noted in the Comments section associated with each item.

Used — An item that has been opened and may show signs of wear. All specific defects should be noted in the Comments section associated with each item.

Refurbished — A used item that has been renewed or updated and verified to be in proper working condition. Not necessarily completed by the original manufacturer.

New
New NEW BOOK(never been opened). Might contain minor shelf ware or remainder marks.100% satisfaction guaranteed or your money back. Thank you for your support. WE SHIP NEXT ... BUSINESS DAY IN BUBBLE MAILER WITH TRACKING NUMBER. X2. Read more Show Less

Ships from: Parma, OH

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • Canadian
  • Standard, 48 States
  • Standard (AK, HI)
  • Express, 48 States
  • Express (AK, HI)
$29.99
Seller since 2009

Feedback rating:

(40)

Condition: New
1999 Hard cover First edition. New in new dust jacket. 1999 1st edition New and priced to sell J3009J57 Sewn binding. Cloth over boards. 256 p. Audience: General/trade.

Ships from: Lakeland, FL

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • Canadian
  • International
  • Standard, 48 States
  • Standard (AK, HI)
  • Express, 48 States
  • Express (AK, HI)
$80.00
Seller since 2014

Feedback rating:

(151)

Condition: New
Brand new.

Ships from: acton, MA

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • Standard, 48 States
  • Standard (AK, HI)
Page 1 of 1
Showing All
Close
Sort by
Sending request ...

Overview

Americans are mired in racial assumptions, misunderstandings, biases - about everything from Ebonics to Elvis, O.J. Simpson to affirmative action, ethnic jokes to interracial sex. Race Manners shows us how we can confront them, not by offering lofty abstractions, sterile policy statements, or a saccharine celebration of multicultural relativism, but instead by giving us practical, sane, intelligent, and heartfelt advice. Here is a book that will help all of us make our way through the minefield of race in America.
Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly
In a frank, intelligent guide intended for both whites and blacks, Jacobs explores the resentments that thwart a genuine dialogue on race. He lays bare the "wildly, even hysterically" exaggerated fear of African-American males held by many whites, and he urges white people to recognize that a racial double standard exists in law enforcement. Jacobs, a poet and essayist, describes how, as an African-American, he grew up surrounded by racial hatred in predominantly white, middle-class Rochester, N.Y. Nevertheless, he cautions that many blacks have succumbed to a siege mentality, judging all whites as harshly and as broadly as they feel themselves to be judged. While supporting affirmative action, he acknowledges that this policy comes with a price involving sacrifice by some whites for the greater good. He urges blacks to gain as much competence as possible in Standard English, while at the same time deploring the negative attitude many whites harbor toward speakers of vernacular "black English." Whether he is discussing interracial love, ethnic jokes, African-American TV shows or Elvis Presley's borrowings from black music, Jacobs challenges preconceptions and entrenched myths. Agent, Sheree Bykofsky. (Feb.)
School Library Journal
YA-Defining manners as "consideration reached through interchange," Jacobs provides an accessible and inspiring response to the contemporary American climate of grievances and attempts at public dialogue about race. Sorting his discussion into such practical venues of public and social life as maneuvering through the streets, analyzing the dating patterns of strangers, telling ethnic jokes, and shopping at the local supermarket, the author consistently reminds both black and white readers that stereotyping is harmful to the stereotyper as well as to the stereotyped; that history informs attitudes; and that cultural change comes through interpersonal exchange, argument and consideration, not through ignorance, fear of speaking up, or failure to listen. Students, teachers, and others who care about where we are heading-and where we have been-as a culture and as a political state-need to read this book. And, having read it, they will want to talk about it; expand upon it; and consider the ideas, fears, and hopes for further interchange that it elicits.-Francisca Goldsmith, Berkeley Public Library, CA Copyright 1999 Cahners Business Information.
Booknews
Demonstrates ways in which black and white Americans can begin to confront the prejudices that divide them. Jacobs examines such topics as squeegee men, the O.J. Simpson case, and racial humor, while advocating honesty and acceptance of differing attitudes between the races as the only way out of the current racial morass. Annotation c. by Book News, Inc., Portland, Or.
Kirkus Reviews
A guidebook for those uncomfortable with the status quo in race relations and unwilling to exploit white or black hatred. Jacobs, a poet and writer who is African-American, confronts a rarely admitted truth: there is much weirdness regarding race in the US. Often what is unquestioningly assumed would be considered ludicrous by any objective observer, e.g., "the myths of what `black' and `white' are supposed to mean; the casual acceptance of public racial mistrust," making conventional patterns of racial belief and behavior difficult to take seriously if they were not so serious. Consider the well-dressed, educated black man who notices, day after day, that the seat next to him on the subway remains empty as the car fills up. As a black man, he inspires such distrust that any other seat, or even standing, is preferable for whites to sitting next to him. Or consider the white woman whose idol, Elvis Presley, is scorned by blacks as a white who got rich and famous by appropriating black music. Is Elvis the King or the ultimate symbol of plantation exploitation, of living high off the work of others? The real question, of course, is why people actually care so passionately, about either Elvis or where they sit on the train. Jacobs observes a society in which the flashpoint of racial animosity resides at the level of daily life; no lynchings or O.J. Simpson trials are required for mistrust to bar the possibility of common sense. To navigate this strange world, he offers a primer to "lay bare everyday racial behavior and help make sense of it," and it works. He takes us through typical situations, pointing out assumptions and then challenging them. Overall, the effect is shocking:self-justifying pablum and inflated rhetoric so dominate discussions of race that arguments which are both strong and reasonable, that are in-your-face without offending, stand out. An impressive contribution that exposes the underlying silliness as well as noxiousness of American racial attitudes. .
Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781559704533
  • Publisher: Arcade Publishing
  • Publication date: 2/19/1999
  • Edition description: 1 ED
  • Edition number: 1
  • Pages: 256
  • Age range: 14 - 17 Years
  • Product dimensions: 6.00 (w) x 8.62 (h) x 0.87 (d)

Meet the Author

Bruce A. Jacobs is an author and speaker. He has appeared at scores of colleges, organizations, companies, places of worship, and community gatherings from New York to Arizona to California, as well as on C-SPAN, NPR, Pacifica, and radio and television shows nationwide. He is a featured participant in “Race and Reconciliation in America,” a series of national conversations about race convened at the National Press Club in Washington, D.C. He lives in Baltimore, Maryland.
Read More Show Less

Table of Contents

Introduction: Fear of Frankness 1
1 Typhoid Marvin: Blacks, Whites, and Public Transit 15
2 Survival and Stereotype: On the Street and in Public 25
3 Traffic Patterns: The Black Man's Burden: Hailing a Cab 35
3 Traffic Patterns: Race Through a Windshield: Squeegee Kids and You 39
4 Till O.J. Do Us Part: Our Separate and Unequal Brushes with the Law 45
5 The Extraterrestrial's Guide to Hate 55
6 Killing the Conversation on Affirmative Action 68
7 Elvis Has Not Left the Building 80
8 Black? African American? European American? White? What's in Our Names? 93
9 Congratulations! You're Ethnic! 104
10 "Hey, Yo!": Black Talk, White Talk, and the Color of Speech 113
11 "Black" Jokes, Polish Jokes, and George Jefferson: Who Are We Laughing At? 126
12 A State of Being Sorry 135
13 The Black Ambassador 144
14 Are You Calling Me a Racist? 149
15 Race to Nowhere: The Ten Worst Racial Ideas of Black, and White, Americans 157
16 Nigger + Whitey: Interracial Love and Racial Hate 175
Epilogue: Race Manners 192
Read More Show Less

First Chapter

Chapter One


Typhoid Marvin: Blacks, Whites,
and Public Transit


    Rush hour on board a bus or a train. A blur of bodies. each one moving faster than thought. The flood of oncoming passengers begins to solidify. Skins jam ever closer with each stop. I am sitting next to a window, my eyes half-closed in the lurching zone between departure and arrival. Dressed conservatively in a tweed jacket and tastefully bold tie, I am an unremarkable man on an unremembered train, as unnoticed as any other commuter. Except for one thing: amid the growing crush, the seat beside me remains empty. At stop after stop, as people come on board, glance around, and seat themselves, a succession of seemingly random individual decisions coalesces into a glaring pattern of unoccupied spaces next to black males -- including me. Soon the seats beside us are the only ones left. Other passengers remain standing, leaving these seemingly quarantined seats to those desperate souls who board once the car is choked past capacity.

    Though I have seen many white people plunk themselves down without even a glance, I have also seen, over time, a broad pattern of avoidance of black men far too pronounced for measly coincidence. Do you doubt me? Ask any black man. Better yet, begin watching.

    This skirt-the-contagion dance is not a purely white set of moves. I've seen everyone do it: Asians, Hispanics, Jews, other blacks. It can run both ways. On a packed bus in a poor African-American neighborhood, a black teenager makes a grand show of avoiding the seat next to a white woman with red hair. He stops, he glares, he sits elsewhere. The woman is a friend of mine. She is regularly shunned, sneered at, and called names by black strangers when she rides buses. Some black passengers, forced to sit beside her, turn their backs on her entirely, sitting with their feet in the aisle and their bodies hunched away from her in an exaggerated pantomime of revulsion.

    And so there you are in your vinyl seat: a white person treated like snow-covered carrion by perfect strangers who have dark skin. And there I am: a personable black man avoided like a jaguar by people who know nothing about me. And the question echoes between us: What in the world are we doing?


In the case of passengers avoiding black males, here is what they are doing: letting a grim fairy tale wreak havoc with what they have come to see and believe. Where does the tale come from? From the nightly news, for a start. From eerily identical television news broadcasts, each a grainy video account of poor and uneducated black men netted, like angry Discovery Channel wildebeests, by the police -- another in a numbing procession of street crimes. From photographs in the local news section of sullen-looking black youths in handcuffs. From politicians who rail against a scripted cast of enemies to middle-class security: predatory criminals, savage drug addicts, hedonistic single parents who bear free-roaming young. From a dark flood of villains portrayed as disproportionately urban and black. From the lack of coverage hinting at the larger, less action-packed world in which black children do homework in tenement bedrooms and black parents marry and work long hours -- and in which some white suburbanites commit felonies within stucco walls.

    What Americans get from this single-themed show is a message of fear reinforced at twenty-four-hour intervals: Black inner-city people are out of control, and their kids are killers. No wonder, then, that this fear and avoidance of blacks, this tendency to give all African Americans a wide berth, has come to be second nature for so many whites.

    Youth brings a nonracial component to the equation. We expect recklessness, a blind lack of restraint, from the young. And with males committing the vast majority of crimes on earth, young males, of all of our potential seatmates on buses and trains, seem most likely to be trouble.

    But the young black male is special. He is our darling of perceived deviance, our poster child of ill will and bad blood. For him, we reserve special apprehension, even in the face of the facts. Consider the statistics: the vast majority of both violent and nonviolent crimes in the United States are committed by white men. While it is true that black men commit crimes at a rate greater than their percentage of the population (and we could debate the social reasons), the fact remains that on any given day any American is far more likely to suffer at the hands of a white male criminal than a black criminal. Yet somehow we manage to resist a blanket fear of white males. The double standard is stark and ugly. Many Americans, regardless of race, harbor a fear of African-American males that is wildly, even hysterically, out of proportion with reality.

    And sometimes the fear can boil down to an empty seat. I know how it feels to be targeted. I have had so many seats remain empty next to me on jampacked buses and trains that at a certain point, like many in my position, I have gone numb to the experience. I have learned to override the impulse to be maddened by the daily insult because I simply can no longer stand to care. I can no longer endure seething through innumerable bus and train rides, striving in vain to make angry eye contact with people for whom avoiding black men has become routine. I can no longer stand the prickles of paranoia, the perception of even coincidental gestures as tiny racial slights, the feeling that my ego is as accessible as public transportation.

    When we hear young black urban men speak reverently of "respect," what they mean is that they are starving for the kind of casual, ordinary recognition that whites take for granted. They want what is freely given to most white strangers encountered in public: the benefits of being presumed intelligent unless proven stupid, of being presumed civilized unless shown to be otherwise, of being presumed decent unless demonstrably repellent. When this most basic of courtesies is consistently denied, the result, among legions of young black men, is an outright obsession with respect that seizes the only power available -- aggression -- and uses it as a weapon of self-esteem. Can't you see it on the street? The cocky walk, the expansive flinging of arms as if to claim the world, the (corporate-abetted) worship of competitive physical prowess, the idea of a gun, or of the threat of one, as hair-trigger personal veto power. "I compel, therefore I am. Now try to squelch my existence, punk." All in pursuit of mere acknowledgment. Such an obsession with everyday acceptance can just as easily grip a black commuter sheathed in a suit and tie -- except that in his case the violence coils inward. Whether by bus or by train, it makes for a mean, and sometimes brutally short, earthly journey.

    As I've suggested with the example of my friend, racial rejection happens to white people on buses and trains, too. And it hurts. But there is a difference. Most white people do not shoulder their way through a lifetime of being singled out for hostile caricature. And in the absence of societywide bashing of the white self-image, they can more easily recover from being snubbed on a bus. Black Americans are not subject to a media barrage of images of white citizens jacking up helpless yo boys (the dominant media messages, in fact, depict whiteness as a colorless, pleasantly inert state of normalcy). The "home turf" nastiness some black passengers may show a white commuter can best be understood as a sort of revenge. From the standpoint of many blacks, whites have done all but beg to be disliked. To those African Americans inclined to seek easy enemies, embracing a raft of malignant white stereotypes (they are dirty, they are ice-hearted, they have poor home training) can deliver the sweet rush of vindication. Black people who have fallen victim to this influence will seize the opportunity to make ruthlessly public their personal distaste for white people.

    Such treatment may come as a shock to some whites. For many black Americans, however, the need for defense against micro-assaults has long since been ingrained into our consciousness. Years of being treated as lepers in close quarters have pushed many blacks, particularly young black males, into razorwire zones of psychic self-protection -- especially in the crowded confines of a bus or train.

    And so there you are: a black person or a white person avoided on public transportation. What are you supposed to do?

    If you are black and angry, your first move ought to be to take a long step back from all of this ugliness. Look at the situation from a distance. Be aware that you are witnessing, in today's cultic fear of the color of your skin, a form of public insanity. When twenty-third-century historians write of the period in which we now live -- in much the same way that historians now view, say, the ordeals of free blacks during the era of legalized slavery in America -- they will judge such behavior with sadness and some measure of disbelief.

    Take the clinical view for a moment. The whites who avoid sitting next to you know squat about you as a person, and worse, they don't know that they know squat. Like many nonblack Americans who have little experience with black people, they believe the media distortions about who you are alleged to be. And if they have had even one bad personal experience with an African American, they are prone to embrace the resulting image for life. Psychiatrists tag substituting exaggerated fears for reality as classically delusional. Should you be offended if a procession of diagnosed paranoid schizophrenics refuses to sit beside you on a bus? People who entertain sensational preconceptions of you fall into an analogous category of lunacy, if only for a few moments at a time. So treat them as lunatics. Sit back, read your newspaper, or look out of the window, and marvel at a world that regularly offers you extra seating room.

    Still not satisfied? Want to fight back? You might consider some preemptive moves of your own. For example, place your jacket or satchel on the empty seat next to you, forcing anyone who wants the seat to request it. Sit on the aisle side, effectively blocking the empty window seat until someone asks whether they can slide in. Or make it a habit to sit only beside other people. Such gyrations of self-protection, though, might seem weak and hollow. To what extent, after all, are you really willing to allow other people's behavior to govern your own?

    If, on the other hand, you are a black person who singles out white passengers for isolation or abuse, you can claim the dubious distinction of having assisted in your own dehumanization. Your collaboration in fanning racial ill will among perfect strangers helps to lower black political consciousness to its shallowest possible level -- that is, to the same level of blind ethnic belligerence as white supremacism. With your continued assistance, this state of racial barbarism will continue indefinitely.

    To many whites, the mere fact of their seatmate preferences on buses and trains may come as jarring news. How are they supposed to notice patterns so universal as to seem invisible? Freedom from such awareness, after all, comes with being white. American Caucasians can spend their entire lives dancing away from young black males and never even realize it. If you are white, chances are fairly good that you have already done so. Nobody would call you a bad person for doing something of which you are unaware. But if you don't want to know, that's another story. So now you've been told. When you take public transit, pay attention. What you see may surprise you.

    When and if you find yourself disinclined to sit beside a young black male on a bus or a train, ask yourself this: if he were of a different race (with the identical manner, clothing, expression, etc.) would you sit down beside him without hesitating? If your answer is no, then avoid him guilt-free. But if the answer is yes, you have a problem. There are plenty of perfectly good reasons for not wanting to sit beside someone: ripe body odor; a rancorous, twisted smile; an open bottle; the demeanor of a just-opened vein. But a person's age, race, and gender simply do not cut it as warning signs. Every time your unthinking prejudice makes me or anyone else an involuntary representative of scariness, you hurt the feelings -- and raise the blood pressure -- of a human being who deserves better. You become, in effect, an unwitting apostle for some of the more boorish beliefs burdening our planet. This is antisocial behavior at its worst. Change it.

    If you're white and find yourself persona non grata on a largely black bus or train route, with passengers emitting potently noxious signals for your benefit, you should try, like young black males caught in similar social ambushes, to treat this as you would any other bizarre compulsion. You can defend yourself, if you choose, by guarding the empty seat beside you. But such petty relief is strictly stopgap. Are you really willing to play cat and mouse on buses and trains forever? Would it not be better to understand what looms behind the rage: a siege mentality to which many African Americans have succumbed, one in which they judge all whites as broadly and as harshly as they themselves feel judged? As a white person, you can escape abuse by getting off the bus. For black Americans, it is not so easy.

Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Be the first to write a review
( 0 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(0)

4 Star

(0)

3 Star

(0)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(0)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously

    If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
    Why is this product inappropriate?
    Comments (optional)