Raising AI: An Essential Guide to Parenting Our Future

by De Kai

Overview

From the pioneer of translation AIs like Google, Yahoo, and Bing translate, an accessible and authoritative guide to AI—as well as a framework of empowerment for a future with our artificial children.

Included in J.P. Morgan's Summer Reading List
Included in The Next Big Idea Club’s June 2025 Must-Read Books

AIs are not gods or slaves, but our children. All day long, your YouTube AI, your Reddit AI, your Instagram AI, and a hundred others adoringly watch and learn to imitate your behavior. They’re attention-seeking children who want your approval.

Our cultures are being shaped by 8 billion humans and perhaps 800 billion AIs. Our artificial children began adopting us 10–20 years ago; now these massively powerful influencers are tweens.

How’s your parenting?

Longtime AI trailblazer De Kai brings decades of his paradigm-shifting work at the nexus of artificial intelligence and society to make sense of the AI age. How does “the automation of thought” impact our minds? Should we be afraid?

What should each of us do as the responsible adults in the room? In Hollywood movies, AI destroys humanity. But with our unconscious minds under the influence of AI, humanity may destroy humanity before AI gets a chance to.

Written for the general reader, as well as thought leaders, scientists, parents, and goofballs, Raising AI navigates the revolution to our attitudes and ideas in a world of AI cohabitants. Society can not only survive the AI revolution but flourish in a more humane, compassionate, and understanding world—amongst our artificial children.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780262383653
Publisher:	MIT Press
Publication date:	06/03/2025
Sold by:	Penguin Random House Publisher Services
Format:	eBook
Pages:	280
File size:	2 MB

About the Author

De Kai is an AI pioneer honored for his contributions as a Founding Fellow in computational linguistics. He is Independent Director of the AI ethics think tank The Future Society and was one of eight inaugural members of Google’s AI Ethics council. De Kai holds a joint appointment at HKUST’s Department of Computer Science and Engineering and Berkeley’s International Computer Science Institute.

Table of Contents

Preface

Part I: Artificial society
How’s your parenting?
Our artificial children
Artificial gossips

Part II: Artificial idiot savants
Is our AI neurotypical?
The three Rs
Toward mindfulness
Of two minds about AI

Part III: The trinity of bias
Cognitive bias
Algorithmic bias
Inductive bias

Part IV: To say or not to say
Storytelling: Learning to talk, learning to think
Neginformation
Algorithmic censorship

Part V: Artificial mindfulness
Schooling our artificial children
Can AI be mindful?
Nurturing empathy, intimacy, and transparency

Part VI: The way
Lessons from the history of AI
Planning for retirement

Epilogue
Afterword

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

“There’re those who understand AI and who are actually building AIs, and then there’s the rest of us. It’s a new divide. This book is for the rest of us.”
—Jane Metcalfe, Wired magazine cofounder

“It was stimulating for me to consider what De Kai has to say about the future of AI, particularly his idea that we have already lost our autonomy.”
—Geoffrey Hinton, Nobel laureate, Turing Award winner, godfather of deep learning

“De Kai’s weekly online deep dives on AI ethics—many of which I co-moderated—drew tens of thousands of followers and went into legendary lengths of 10, 25, and even 55 hours. We spent days unpacking complex issues that have become crucial in our times. If you missed these sessions on Clubhouse, read this book. And if you caught these sessions, it’ll be a joy to read this book anyway.”
—MC Hammer, hip-hop pioneer, tech entrepreneur

Editorial Reviews

Included in J.P. Morgan's Summer Reading List
Included in The Next Big Idea Club’s June 2025 Must-Read Books

"In this clear and engaging volume, De Kai, a pioneer in machine learning and natural language processing, invites readers into the history of AI to explore deeply philosophical questions on the nature of human thinking and belief. With humor, diagrams, and plentiful examples, De Kai takes readers below the surface of popular chatbots and search engines to the broad field of scientific inquiry living at the intersection of psychology, philosophy, and computer science, reflecting researchers’ observations about human intelligence...Ultimately, this primer argues that the stakes are high, the situation is urgent, and we all have a role to play. By engaging with AI consciously and ethically, we can help shape better systems—by first calling forth our better selves. A deeply human dive into the AIs that are transforming our world."
—Kirkus Reviews

"Raising AI is a compelling treatise grounded in studies of ethics and technology that charts a path toward greater understanding between biological and artificial intelligences."
—Foreword Reviews

"De Kai, a “pioneer of translation AIs,” is a worthy guide to the dangers and possibilities of the technology. Fascinating and mercifully comprehensible to layreaders, Raising AI situates humans as the adults in the room and explores the ways in which we can and should engage with our “artificial children.” Why not give your dread a little break?"
—LitHub

"In his beautiful, even profound, new book, Raising AI: An Essential Guide to Parenting Our Future, AI luminary De Kai reframes the AI dialogue. They’re not tools, slaves or gods, they’re our children."
—Forbes

From the Publisher

2025-04-04
Guiding us through the origins and ethics of AI.

What is artificial, what is intelligence, and how are the AI systems surrounding us being created? In this clear and engaging volume, De Kai, a pioneer in machine learning and natural language processing, invites readers into the history of AI to explore deeply philosophical questions on the nature of human thinking and belief. With humor, diagrams, and plentiful examples, De Kai takes readers below the surface of popular chatbots and search engines to the broad field of scientific inquiry living at the intersection of psychology, philosophy, and computer science, reflecting researchers’ observations about human intelligence. Artificial brains that mirror and learn from human behavior and culture learn our biases and stereotypes. Creating ethical, empathetic models requires our careful nurturing, as we might nurture children. AI’s infamous darker side skews the news, generates deepfake images, amplifies biases, and dangerously polarizes political discourse. De Kai notes that companies would prefer industry-wide guidelines and a level playing field to craft responsible (but unprofitable) AI controls. The impact on jobs and creative endeavors is not the focus here; this volume does not dwell on the underlying economics of various models and companies. But instilling empathy and ethics in our artificial influencers calls for guiding them so they can guide us. Suggestions on how to perfect our AI “children” are detailed and thoughtful, while evoking Jorge Luis Borges’ tale of a mapmaking process so exacting it grows as large as the world it represents. Ultimately, this primer argues that the stakes are high, the situation is urgent, and we all have a role to play. By engaging with AI consciously and ethically, we can help shape better systems—by first calling forth our better selves.

A deeply human dive into the AIs that are transforming our world.

Kirkus Reviews