Raising Children Who Think For Themselves

Overview

Raising Children Who Think for Themselves offers a new approach to parenting that has the power to reverse the trend of external direction in our children and help parents bring up empathetic, self-confident, moral, independent thinkers. Children who are externally directed make decisions based on the peer groups, violent movies, sexually explicit television shows, and rap lyrics that permeate their lives. When children are self-directed, on the other hand, they use their power of reason like a sword to cut ...
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Raising Children Who Think for Themselves

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Overview

Raising Children Who Think for Themselves offers a new approach to parenting that has the power to reverse the trend of external direction in our children and help parents bring up empathetic, self-confident, moral, independent thinkers. Children who are externally directed make decisions based on the peer groups, violent movies, sexually explicit television shows, and rap lyrics that permeate their lives. When children are self-directed, on the other hand, they use their power of reason like a sword to cut through the jungle of external influences. Fortunately, the author shows us, it is never too late to foster in our children the ability to weigh options, consider sources, and think for themselves.
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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"Raising Children Who Think for Themselves provides plenty of sensible, down-to-earth advice for parents. A goldmine of suggestions and guidance."
—Thomas W. Phelan, PhD, author of 1-2-3 Magic

"Rich stories and examples from her own parenting experiences and those of her patients make Medhus's book a comprehensive guide for teaching our children to become honest, intuitive, and independent thinkers, using not only their heads but their hearts."
—Jeanne Elium, coauthor of Raisin a Son and Raising a Daughter

From The Critics
Raising Children Who Think For Themselves provides parents with a new approach to directing children, covering the methods which foster independent thinking. Chapters point out differences between children who are externally directed to make decisions and those who are self-directed and use reasoning powers, providing plenty of examples on how parents can foster the latter.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781582700472
  • Publisher: Atria Books/Beyond Words
  • Publication date: 4/1/2001
  • Edition description: Original
  • Pages: 304
  • Sales rank: 233,413
  • Product dimensions: 6.00 (w) x 9.00 (h) x 0.80 (d)

Meet the Author

Elisa Medhus, MD, is an accomplished physician who has practiced internal medicine for more than thirty years. She is the author of three award-winning parenting books and has lectured on parenting in schools, parent groups, and corporations. A strong believer in science, she formerly viewed spiritual matters with skepticism, until the death of her son. Once Erik began to communicate with family, friends, and blog members, Dr. Medhus’s entire paradigm shifted as she embarked on a journey toward spiritual understanding and belief.

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Table of Contents

Dedication ix
Acknowledgments xi
The Basics
Introduction 3
What This Book Is About 3
The Five Essential Qualities of Self-Directed Children 6
Understanding Internal vs. External Direction 11
The Game Plan
Seven Strategies for Raising
Self-Directed Children
1 Creating the Proper Family Environment 19
Eliminating Elements That Foster External Direction 19
A Word about Sibling Influences 44
The Importance of a Family Identity 48
2 Helping Children Develop Healthy Internal Dialogue 51
Eight Techniques to Encourage Introspection 51
Derailing Unhealthy Internal Dialogue 66
Helping Them Confront Their Unhealthy Internal Dialogue 66
Helping Them Rebound from the Effects of Facing the Truth 68
Helping Them Find Solutions through Honest, Healthy Internal Dialogue 69
Modeling Our Own Inner Honesty for Our Children 69
3 Helping Children Develop Natural Intuition 71
Modeling the Use of Our Own Intuitive Powers 72
Encouraging Them to Follow Their Own Hunches 72
Teaching Children How to Strengthen Their Intuitive Powers 72
Playing Intuition Games 74
Keeping an Intuition Journal 74
Teaching Children How to Receive Intuitive Signals More Clearly 74
4 Teaching Children Empathy 77
Teaching Children How "Benevolent Selfishness" Works 79
Helping Children Understand Others by Using the "Empathy Triad" 79
Helping Children Develop Empathy through Service 81
Helping Children Use Internal Dialogue to Develop Empathy 82
Helping Children Develop Empathy through Role Play 84
Using "I Messages" to Teach Children Empathy 85
Modeling Empathy 86
Teaching Children Empathy by Not Criticizing the Unfortunate 87
5 Disciplining to Promote Internal Direction 89
What It Means to Discipline in a Way That Promotes Internal Direction 89
The Twelve Basic Requirements of Self-Directed Discipline 91
Eight Discipline Techniques That Encourage Self-Direction 107
6 Helping Children Rebound from Failure 121
Discussing Our Own Mistakes with Our Children 123
Not Denying Opportunities to Excel As a Consequence for Misbehavior 123
Sharing Lessons We've Learned from Our Own Mistakes 124
Teaching the Value of Failed Attempts 124
Teaching Children to Strive for Personal Excellence, Not Perfection 125
Using Mistake Contests 126
Downplaying Past Failures 126
Teaching "Failure Tolerance" by Not Over-reacting to Mistakes 127
Encouraging Mistakes 128
Encouraging Independence 128
Teaching How to Separate Failures from Self-Worth 129
Accepting Suffering As a Good Thing 130
7 Helping Children Handle Real-World Influences 133
Drugs and Alcohol 134
Violence among Children 137
Modern Technology 139
The Hurried Life 142
Consumerism vs. Simplicity 145
Sexuality 147
Body Image and the Perception of Beauty 151
The Winner-Loser Mentality and Competition 154
Conclusion 157
Specific Child-Rearing Challenges 159
Level System for Teenagers 275
Resources 277
Index 283
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Sort by: Showing 1 – 3 of 4 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 6, 2001

    A Great Book for Parents and Teachers

    Dr. Medhus has written a wonderful guide to help adults interact with children in ways that facilitate independence rather than dependence. Her 'down to earth' examples and strategies are humorous and instructive. This is 'must read' for teachers and parents.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 19, 2001

    Best parenting book ever

    I must have a hundred parenting books, but this is the only one that makes parenting easy. My family is happier. I like my kids more. I like myself more, as a mom. The coolest thing is that it has 100 different 'child rearing challenges' and how to handle them. I carry it in my purse and take it everywhere with me! I wish I had this book 10 years ago. In fact, I wish my parents has this book when I was growing up! Get this one now!!! You won't regret it!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 30, 2009

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Sort by: Showing 1 – 3 of 4 Customer Reviews

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